Experiences

Unhappy people around you will try to target you with disrespectful speech and actions. We have to understand that their toxicity is exposed in this manner. It is their compulsion to empty it out to survive and often, you become the recipient of their offload.

Everything ultimately depends on towards what you have directed your own energies. Do you take such incidents seriously? If so, be prepared to let your mind get toxic with retaliatory reactions. But if you understand that it has nothing to do with you and withdrawing your energies from such people is the best way, you emerge the winner.

Keeping and maintaining a standard for yourself keeps you away from such undesirable experiences. So direct your energies very carefully. You may be the right person amidst the wrong people.

Surekha Kothari

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Liberate

 Life is one big movie within the theatre of this world. We laugh, we cry, we suffer endlessly and unnecessarily if I might add the last word. At some point you learn to extricate yourself and watch this movie unfolding and are able to laugh at it!

Is anything permanent that we live attaching ourselves to it? You see people “close” to you moving away and you see some coming closer for whatever reasons. You see people judging you, smirking while some actually and grudgingly respect you even. However, our insecurities or otherwise, are generally the cause of how we shape our world. And this has little to do with others.

You will always find beauty in a stand-alone form because it seems to stand tall against a backdrop even of chaos. There is a sense of “belonging” to the supreme power which is the only support all creation has on a permanent basis. The cycle of the death of the old and the beginning of the new is a perpetual in the universe. The pattern is undeniable and unquestionable: the “tower” in the tarot cards, I think.

There is a steady stream of wisdom running before us, wisdom that when practiced, gives us a sense of realization of our intrinsic existence as “existence, consciousness, bliss”. It is the most liberating realization and one each one of us should strive towards.

Surekha Kothari

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Human Effort

 If we knew we were here only to sort out our karmic balance sheet from other lives, we would live our lives differently. If we understood that there are no villains, only teachers, we would work for purify our inner worlds.

If only we became aware much earlier in life that many episodes from past lives are triggered through our experiences, there would be no grief, no suffering.

The cause and effect, action and consequence reality while we live in this world can be understood and even overcome with the use of our analytical mind. The perfect solution is not sinking but swimming out of situations, and neutralizing the effects of karma by healing them.  

Human effort is imminent. It is pointless to convince ourselves that external stimuli are responsible. Yes, they are only because they trigger something deep that lies within us. That’s all the role they play.

Surekha Kothari

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Spiritual Knowledge

 The energy shift in the universe is taking some of us into a definite transition mode. Analyzing and understanding what is happening within us gives us a clear indication of a huge inner shift that has emerged from our constant response to earthly experiences and our constant seeking of spiritual knowledge. And over many lifetimes as well.

Learning is inevitable but the attitude (of humility and willingness to learn and grow) triggers our progress (or otherwise) majorly.

In our ego state, we tend to overanalyze without trusting the universal process. That definitely clouds the areas of the mind that should remain clear to receive messages from the universe.

The miracles come in the form of receiving relevant messages from everywhere, from people who get drawn to a balanced aura, angel numbers seen frequently, answers coming from within without a struggle, strangers coming out of nowhere and holding your hand, helping you in your hour of need. But, we need to see and feel this. We have to be tuned into God’s vibration AND surrender from within. AND we have to TRUST the divine energy.

You know the story of the man who was drowning in the floods? He prayed fervently to god for help. When a boat came his way, he refused to get on. He saw a tree but refused to climb it. Then a helicopter came to his aid but again, he refused saying god will help him.

Ultimately he drowned, and when he saw god, he complained and said he had lost all trust in prayers. God smiled at his foolishness and said, “I sent you help three times but you did not accept it”. Such is our inability to trust our prayers and god.

Focus just as a horse on its path with blinkers on. We tend to spread ourselves very thin by looking around for short term gains. Ironical, isn’t it, to look for short term gains in a temporary world where nothing material is going to remain anyway. We excel at grasping at straws.

Also, humans don’t generally possess bones of satisfaction

Within them. How much is enough before you start preparing for the other world you will be entering, considering that your leaving this world was secured the day you were born?

Surekha Kothari

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Wisdom

 There is no time. Procrastination is not a wise choice. Life unfolds in very unexpected ways. Do what you wanted to do tomorrow, today. Of course, if it is important enough to you.

I have seen too many people suffering with guilt and regret. I have seem them acting out of impulse and not wisdom, from ego more than compassion.

We don’t know the truth and so, act out of sheer ignorance, attached to our negative personality and unable to let it go.

There need not be a tomorrow for all we know. There may not be a chance to right our wrongs. There may not be an opportunity to pick up the pieces we walk on.

So, find your inner silence. Find your clarity of thought. Allow transformation and find divine grace within.

Souls in the form of family and friends, associates are all there for a purpose connected with your salvation. Embrace the lessons they teach.

Ultimately, you will have to let everything and everyone go.

Surekha Kothari

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Self-Absorption

 Sometimes, feelings from the heart cannot find a way to come to the tongue as words. Sometimes, it is simpler to give way to tears that no one can see. The heart can cry more easily than speak of what it goes through.

And if you notice, no one cares to listen anyway. You are alone with your grief.

And this is where understanding dawns that human frailty translates more into self-absorption. Everyone is trying to find answers to overcome that grief and find peace. Of course, in doing so, their process of trial and error can affect those around them too. That is karma. You can’t fight it. Lives are intertwined and the action of one can have consequences on many.

It is not for nothing, therefore, that we need our ignorance superimposed by knowledge. Much awareness of life and ourselves is required. Only when that light illuminates within us will we understand the full implications of the Buddhist saying that suffering is self-inflicted.

Surekha Kothari

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Discipline

Have you ever noticed that our stories write themselves? We think WE are writing them. Just watch with awareness how your days unfold. How many plans you make and how many actually fructify! Life has a definite flow. And if we try to break the flow, somewhere, we suffer. I call it trying to interfere with God’s plan for us.

Just look at the discipline and harmony in nature! Everything works like clockwork and seems automatic. God’s wonderful creation!

But we forget that so are WE God’s creation. Only, not so wonderful after all, considering the havoc we have caused just because of the extra gifts we have: a developed brain, choices and free will and a massive ego we have turned into obsessiveness and narcissism. Conflict at the cost of harmony and peace. What are we doing with these marvelous gifts? Abusing them big time? We live in a world of illusions, called Maya, but the veil of Maya has blinded us! Reality eludes us. We are like rudderless ships that have no anchor. Our illusory power stems from complete ignorance of who we are!

It is evident that we are out to destroy ourselves every day because we lack humility and the spiritual knowledge that actually binds us all with a thick cord of connectivity. Which we don’t choose to see.

It is evident that our connectivity with the Divine has been lost. Otherwise, we would not destroy human beings for land acquisition, for gaining supremacy and power, build walls of hate where only complete annihilation of those we hate will satisfy insecure and sadistic minds.

For how long? “Enough “ is far away.

Surekha Kothari

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Pleasant

 It doesn’t matter! This is for those who live on past memories, good, bad and ugly. Can you hold a bubble in your hand permanently? Obviously not! Past memories are like bubbles, experienced and gone!

We label them based on our likes, dislikes and prejudices. But the fact is , we harbor them. We compare the good ones with the bad ones and feel sorry for ourselves while visiting the ones we have not found to be pleasant.

So, what is the core issues here? Just that we have not moved on. We haven’t been able to let go.

So, who has invited unnecessary suffering? No one else. Only WE do this to ourselves. It is a little like getting angry towards an episode outside on the street when it has nothing to do with us.

Think about it?!

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Consquences

Pain is an inevitable part of life, the outcome of challenges and often unpalatable experiences. We tend to internalize it and react to it. The resistance to it is what brings suffering.

What works is accepting situations and letting the pain out with an understanding that it is all an essential part of the flow and of our growth.

A river collects stones, dried leaves, sticks and all kinds of pollution that it picks up along its course, but still weaves its way around them to reach the ocean. Similarly, we need to recognize that just as a river does not go against its flow, all creation also has a natural progression. The course has been chartered for us but we either don’t see it or are in denial. And very foolish in our ignorance. Even more so because we see only short term benefits, failing to see the long term implications of those short term benefits. Never forget that the wheel of our lives keeps turning.

Unfortunately, man is the only creature that defies the natural laws, with undesirable consequences for the whole world, as we see this happening more and more in current times.

Surekha Kothari

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Self-Seeking

 I really feel very strongly that humans are so needy all the time that the societies have, over the years, declined into “contacts” for self fulfilment, without trust but with plenty of suspicion. We never needed to play games earlier. We said it as it was. We never left room for doubt. And the result was uplifting. Trust laden with respect and affection even.

Truth was the first principle taught and lies were punished. These lessons were never forgotten by some of us. I agree compromises are a necessary part of life. But I do have a quarrel with the polluted intentions with which we compromise today.

Intention us everything as I see it. Some of us have become so self-seeking that we have even stopped feeling guilty about what we say and do.

We might excuse ourselves for the small lies but it does not get condoned in the eyes of the divine energy. It should prick us but it doesn’t! Sadly! So, we really don’t know the value of honoring ourselves., of respecting ourselves. Yes, it is a tough path today, when truth gets disembodied all the time. But the good news is, you do start connecting with the purest divine energy and unexpected things begin to happen in your life.

Surekha Kothari

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Silence

There are daily stimuli and our responses to them. But we seldom have the awareness of that minuscule pause between them. That pause goes unnoticed because of our lack of awareness. And therefore, that pause which is actually there for us to respond with thought and wisdom becomes a reaction. Only because the ego just flies in to that pause and takes over to change our would have been response to a hasty reaction.

Naturally, if an object comes hurtling towards you, you will instinctively change course to avoid it. But when it comes to a stimulus coming from objects of our dislike, we retaliate instead of changing course at that time. We prefer a collision, a clash also, more than our peace.

This is really strange when we think of it. Two responses to similar stimuli.

People think silence is weakness but it can be the most powerful tool in our evolution. We don’t have to respond each time. Silence works very well. It gives clarity to our thoughts so much so that when we act, it becomes an act of wisdom.

Surekha Kothari

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Sense of Humor

 I have learnt two very important things in life.

1. Cultivate a sense of humor

2. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Generally, we take others very seriously because we take ourselves too seriously. Laugh at yourself and nothing will seem hurtful. You know nothing remains the same anyway. Not even you. So, why agonize ?? Just makes no sense to me anymore.

People are whimsical. So should you be so? Not necessarily. A Smile and a laugh are the most sensible therapies in this world. They keep you light and unburdened. And sane. Everyone should move on and keep moving.

The old usage was “take everything with a pinch of salt”. But salt retains water in the body and can cause high Blood Pressure too. Whereas, a smile and a laugh brighten your face and your days. And keep you healthy and hopefully, wise too. So, never lose your sense of humor and Every time you start to feel seriousness coming on, put on your laughing cap. Believe me, it is far better than a thinking cap sometimes.

Fill your life with happy moments. And keep Increasing such moments.

Surekha Kothari

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Recognize

The law of resonance is the simplest law to understand and if practiced, can turn your life around and bring it into a happy mode.

Just do not react to negativity in anyone. And this can only happen if you yourself are a positive person. As long as you are reacting to people, you too, definitely have some of that negativity within you.

The state of not being swayed is when you come into your own and stop resonating with anyone’s negativity because you are no longer recognizing it within yourself. It is pretty amazing how liberated you feel when you reach that state.

Surekha Kothari

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Counselling

 

Silence

Sometimes, over a period of time, you continue to see so much crap happening around you and in the world, that you reach a state of silence! There is so much to say that ultimately, there is nothing left to say. Speechless state!

I guess the mind has agonized and agonized, dissected and bisected a million times over and finally come to zilch. And that state of meaninglessness is actually the beginning of a new life within this life.

You care and care and care so much that one day, you have burnt your energies and your stamina to arrive at a state of exhaustion.

And then you pick yourself up to start living again and protecting yourself this time over.

It is constant learning. From reactions to anger to denial, bargaining with the self and finally acceptance of what you cannot change. So then, change starts from within. The start of a meaningful journey!

Surekha Kothari

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Knowledge

There is a reason why God isolates you. When the few crutches you thought you had also stop working. It is a tough call because we have not learnt the art of isolation. We are so dependent and so unobtrusively so, right from birth.

For some time, you tend to flounder as in deep waters without knowing how to swim. And then, if you are not sinking, you learn to keep afloat at least. That is the first step towards exploring God. The connection gets established only after you experience feeling lost.

The emotion of feeling lonely is a temporary ignorance of the mind. It is actually a state of discovery that we are all in the same boat : ALONE. We come alone and we go alone. It is in between these two that we mess ourselves up until, hopefully, we learn better.

All these facts are so simple really!  We even know this at the back of our minds, don’t we? Then why does the mind not accept this?

If we think about it all, reflection would bring in some knowledge. And once we know, we would find it easier to stay on course.

Defiance and anger regress us. Acceptance and finding positive solutions propels us forward.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari 

Acceptance

 There is a reason why God isolates you. When the few crutches you thought you had, also stop working. It is a tough call because we have not learnt the art of isolation. We are so dependent and so unobtrusively so, right from birth.

For sometime, you tend to flounder as in deep waters without knowing how to swim. And then, if you are not sinking, you learn to keep afloat at least. That is the first step towards exploring God. The connection gets established only after you experience feeling lost.

The emotion of feeling lonely is a temporary ignorance of the mind. It is actually a state of discovery that we are all in the same boat: ALONE. We come alone and we go alone. It is in between these two that we mess ourselves up until, hopefully, we learn better.

All these facts are so simple really! We even know this at the back of our minds, don’t we? Then why does the mind not accept this?

If we think about it all, reflection would bring in some knowledge. And once we know, we would find it easier to stay on course.

Defiance and anger regress us. Acceptance and finding positive solutions propels us forward.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Respect

Popularly said you need to earn respect. Sometimes, making the effort to earn someone’s respect, you end up earning loneliness.

All these sayings are often superficial. They sound good and intellectual when you mouth them in a group. Sounds very impressive.

But really speaking, you have to change your whole personality to earn that respect. Don’t you see? For the simple reason that you cannot be anyone but yourself.

The world is filled with conditions.

If you do this, only then will I respect you…

If you do this, only then will I believe you etc…

And the most important fact: you are probably not sure of your qualities that are respect worthy, often, because they have not been appreciated. YOU have not been respected. Which also means, you doubt your ability to respect yourself. That you lack self-awareness.

I have seen people put down people constantly, mostly so that they can feel good or superior or whatever the reasons.

But the most important thing is, if you respect yourself, why do you need respect from others? External Validation?

You need to be known for who you are and there will always be people who respect you for who you are. We however, look for respect in the eyes of particular people who don’t necessarily have clean hearts towards us. Absolutely no need! There will be myopic people in all our lives who will deprive you of your energy, citing some examples about some fault they find in you. Even exaggerating the issue to tear you down emotionally and otherwise.

But then, it is a case of one finger at you and three back at them.  So let us please preserve our self-esteem at all costs. It is important in the journey of life. And we can be a better version of ourselves with constant awareness and efforts. Yes, sincere people’s opinions do point out to what we need to improve in ourselves. But there is really no need to let it corrode our confidence levels and positivity. Anyway, low self-esteem

Levels are highly damaging and highly avoidable. They can lead to multifarious issues, like a hydra.

Surekha Kothari

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Consequences

We do many things during the day. Some are planned and some just come along on the spur of the moment.

But examine them and ask yourself, how many were done for others and how many for yourself? It is really interesting to see what you discover about yourself.

We are often judged by what we do not do to fulfil expectations which are not ours. And to placate and pacify and satisfy others, how much we compromise on our own energies.

But when you reach a point of balance and understand that everything you do has a consequence not in your control entirely, but your intentions have been clear, then you will begin to take steps towards what you feel fulfilled with and for which you don’t mind being misjudged by those who actually feel better if they bend you to their will.

And that is rampant all over, within human beings. Within the mental aberrations of humans, we have to achieve our mental balance. If you feel you are doing right by you, more often than not, people also understand this.

We need to keep to our path. Yes, it may be fraught with some discomfort but it is all better for you in the long run.

Surekha Kothari

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Saturation Point

 All these years, having been in denial and argued and vented, finally, truth has dawned! Everything happens for a reason. Everything was meant to be. We thought we were taking the decisions but, was it so? Really? Were our reactions valid then?

Actually, what is meant to stay, stays. And what is meant to get over, just gets over. WE reach a saturation point in a lot of the cases. And in some, the choice is not ours.

And yet, all our lives, we fight and stress, and refuse to let go to move forward. We forget that karma is at work constantly. Our debts call out . Also our credits are interspersed with those debts we must pay. When we experience the joy of good karma, we forget easily. What remains and sustains is the unpleasant memories.

As the wise have wisely said, cut thoughts. Cut memories. They are the source of all the attachment and egos at play in our lives. And when there are no thoughts, it is automatic surrender to a higher power. This is the ultimate in our journey, isn’t it?

Surekha Kothari

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Journey

 All these years, having been in denial and argued and vented, finally, truth has dawned! Everything happens for a reason. Everything was meant to be. We thought we were taking the decisions but, was it so? Really? Were our reactions valid then?

Actually, what is meant to stay, stays. And what is meant to get over, just gets over. WE reach a saturation point in a lot of the cases. And in some, the choice is not ours.

And yet, all our lives, we fight and stress, and refuse to let go to move forward. We forget that karma is at work constantly. Our debts call out. Also our credits are interspersed with those debts we must pay. When we experience the joy of good karma, we forget easily. What remains and sustains is the unpleasant memories.

As the wise have wisely said, cut thoughts. Cut memories. They are the source of all the attachment and egos at play in our lives. And when there are no thoughts, it is automatic surrender to a higher power. This is the ultimate in our journey, isn’t it?

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Self-Creation

 One thing is for sure! Our agonizing over relationships only defines our own need. Know that story about the monk who was meditating on a boat on the river in the dark and kept getting disturbed by the collision with another boat? He burst out in anger at the person in the other boat, only to find that the boat was empty and was colliding against his boat due to the winds. In life, we do this all the time. We find situations intolerable and vent our anger! So too, in relationships. If we can think of all relationships as that empty boat, we will cease to be needy. With an attitude that if there IS a person in that boat, smile! And if it is an empty boat also, smile! Nothing can stick to you if you don’t let it. Observing the fleeting nature of things is a great lesson. Sometimes, a “best” friend can part with you for years on account of a small misunderstanding. And sometimes, someone recent in your life can give you the support and caring you would never have imagined. Sometimes, you expect more from those you love and that can really mess you up if that love is not reciprocated in equal measure. It was probably the equation that was to set in but not acceptable to us. The long and short of this is simply to cultivate happiness from within, not giving much thought to what was, what could have been, why it is not the way it should have been, etc. Save yourself the agony. It is completely self-created and harms no one but you. Hard lessons and often taught by people closest to you.

Surekha Kothari

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Connectivity

 Lord Acton had said eons back that power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Today, we see this with celebrity status turning easily to megalomania. One sees this is all politics and glamour industries. Most in politics where international power of statesmanship seems to be a hotbed for human destruction, e.g., the Russia Ukraine war. Or the threat of nuclear invasions … a complete misuse of power.

Power seems to have the power of destabilization of the mind. An imbalance created within the yin and yang factors within all humans. And the attempt to play God without having the necessary qualities of compassion and empathy for all mankind. Dangerous for the world!

It is as if the higher they reach the more they lose ground reality. In that high space, their vision becomes more myopic, confined to their own endless desires. The connectivity with the rest of the humanity eludes them.

There have always been these kinds of destructive minorities who manage to gain absolute powers. But the ground reality also is, that the weaker majority puts them on that pedestal from where they take the leap towards megalomania.

Surekha Kothari

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Judgement

 People were discussing gossip the other day. I started analyzing the detrimental value of this malicious pastime. I could not see it as “information”. More like inquisitiveness and maligning people out of jealousy or spite or both.

We are self-proclaimed judges in society, maybe because judging is easier than thinking things through. And it is certainly not objective by any standards when our emotions manifest in running down someone.

There comes another human aberration to mind. And we have all been subjected to this, causing deliberately planned or thoughtless misunderstandings. Remember Chinese whisper, the game we played in school? At least that was innocent and invited a few laughs.

People have this habit of listening to conversations and then quoting lines from

these conversations WITHOUT giving the context within which they were spoken in the first place! In isolation, those lines could be interpreted very negatively. This causes terrible misunderstandings because people today are quick to personalize every statement. Especially if they don’t particularly like the person who speaks. There is no room for benefit of doubt. Such is the intensity of insecurity these days. Maybe even of very low self-esteem.

Instead of igniting fires of separation, would it not be better to bring people together, just with positive suggestions to all? We do tend to endorse negative viewpoints out of conviction sometimes. The wise however, do not do that. They allow things to be and for change to happen through experiences. A constant criticism and judgement does not give space to the other person to reflect. Also, a direct attack on anyone’s self-esteem is nothing short of cruelty.

As it is said, kindness is to support and strengthen people. Our role in life is meant to be salutary.

The truth is, we are all connected. And when we ignite sparks, some of those sparks burn us too.

And let us incorporate ourselves within our levels of consciousness to get the larger picture.

Surekha Kothari

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Principles of Criticism

 This morning, I came across a very important fact in Swamiji’s talk. Makes you think! He talks about principles of criticism.

Jokingly, he says, people who say brutal truths to others about them are often very sensitive when the same is pointed out to them. These are people who are often more interested in brutality than truth. Very often, we find that those who love to criticize cannot face it themselves. In fact, they can’t bear it.

In the scriptures, this is not recommended. They ask you to resist from saying truths of this kind. Instead, they advocate love.

If you have compassion, you need to be gentle and nurturing even in pointing out something to another. Just as you would expect from others.

Actually, critics are those who keep you clean without soap and water. Saints almost never criticize, as you will learn from every Buddha story. But how did he handle people? With warmth and love. Human beings should help each other rise above karmic frailties.

Everyone does not have a charmed life to be able to always be mindful about accepting suffering and hurt gracefully. Life has a heavy karmic agenda for many. For some, the unexpectedness of adversities can be shocking even. But still, they manage whichever way they can. They probably think they have done wonders despite the constant onslaught of karma. However, others around them cannot see the blood tears that have been shed.

That’s why wisdom says, don’t tell anyone what you have endured and continue to endure. More criticism will be the only outcome. There can be a lot of desire to hurt behind the criticism. But, we must be warned that this is not the territory of God.

So, Silence is the best. It is your karma. You face it.

So, tell the truth to someone out of love and gently, in a way that it is accepted and will bring about a welcome change. Let it not result in a vicarious pleasure of having told someone off. And understand that when there is non-acceptance and anger of the person you heap criticism on, that you really need cleaning up as well. Let us worry about our own growth first.

Surekha Kothari

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