Showing posts with label Conflict. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Conflict. Show all posts

Sunday, 9 August 2026

Idealistic

Make your life easy. We all have feet of clay and tend to give vent to our anger and frustrations. And in doing so, we may let words slip out that in calmer moments, we would not.

What amazes me is that apologizing when you ARE wrong should come easily if the conscience is active. But it does not. What is active is the ego and we cave in, and become slaves to our ego. There are cases when hurts pile up between two people over a period of time.

Actually, so much pile up is unhealthy. Often, one is a dominant defaulter and the other keeps quiet until one day, something gives way and the conflict acquires large dimensions.  And sometimes, it us because none is willing to extinguish igniting fires.

It is always better to voice your feelings the very first time you feel someone has wronged you. If you keep silent for whatever reasons, the damage to relationships gets unnecessarily worse. It is definitely not worth it. I find the closer the relationship, the more the intensity of hurt. People call me too idealistic but honestly, whatever the nature of the relationship, never stop stating your truth gently and firmly so the next time, people will be careful. 

And try to be simple, without drama and conflict. Ultimately, YOU and only you are responsible for how you feel and why. The entire onus of your life is yours and no one can make even a dent in you without your permission.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Sunday, 15 December 2024

Productivity

 To be productive in any field, the motto should be: “plan the work and work the plan”.

There are people who cannot stay with one plan. They plan and then they change the plan. They make a new one and change it again.

This speaks of a very confused and conflicting mind.

The inability to stay with a plan and the constant search for a “better” plan ultimately gets nothing done.

It is probably better to just be given a plan to execute. Someone leads, others follow.

So, conflict and confusion are products of situations where choices are given. And it takes wisdom to make an informed choice.

That’s why we probably see more followers than thinkers.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Thursday, 5 September 2024

Retaliation

Sometimes it is important to be silent. The chatter of the mind, playing the devil, can be all consuming.  It is time then to keep quiet and retreat to a corner where you CAN be quiet. Helps you think and reflect.

Retaliation does more damage. It is counterproductive. It takes you back to the devil’s territory in the mind.

I have found retaliation / conflict to be a self-starter to disaster most of the time. Your perception might be that it was started by another. But no!

It started with your own choice of response to an event. Something triggered negativity in you and your reaction then became the cause of the deepening of conflict. 

Think about it! This is how suffering starts. It is our choice.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari 

Monday, 7 November 2022

Truth

 

We are always so close to healing ourselves, except for denial of our distortions. THIS acts like a thick veil between us and our healed selves.

We DON’T need to know about anyone else.

We need to know

WHAT angers us

WHAT inspires us into conflict

WHERE lie our imbalances

WHY we are unaccepting of our need to change certain thought processes within us

WHY we prefer to blame others but refuse to admit to our own weaknesses

WHY we feel envy, and pander to our insecurities etc.

What do any of these have to do with anyone else?

But, this is the way we want to continue to live. Never mind the miserable state of our minds!

Why are we living a life or pretence and getting comfortable with a lie rather than the truth?

It seems quite illogical, or SHOULD appear as illogical to an “educated” mind. Except that academic education is no guarantee …

Each of us forms a society and the standard of society is therefore, determined by each one of us. 

Change is an internal phenomenon, the triggers of which might lie in the external world. But it has to start within. And we have to feel enough discomfort when looking into our mirrors, to WANT to change our muddy reflections into clear ones.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Monday, 4 February 2019

Peaceful moments

At the end of the day, there is only one main question that leads towards peace. "Am I ready to accept?" Also, am I able to step aside to avoid catastrophe and collusion, conflict and strife?
Someone very fiery once told me this was no way out; Seemed perturbed that I could advocate this "cowardly" path. How can you accept everything?
I don't think it is so much a question of accepting "everything" as of being unrealistic enough not to know what is within our control and what is not. You really have no choice but to accept what is beyond your control right?
Forget huge phenomena like birth and death, even some results of your efforts are out of your hands. But what makes a positive difference is how we feel instinctively about things. What makes us uncomfortable is to be avoided because generally, it is a premonition or a warning that it may not be the wise thing to do; Feeling it in our bones, as it were.
And in such cases, it is better to avert an incoming crisis and upheaval.
But I don't want anyone to mistake inertia for peace either. Peace may definitely be given up if it is for obtaining justice for someone. But if inertia sets in, there is no effort made and you exist like a vegetable.
These decisions of creating your own peace are also choices you make . And one of them is in favor of peace that is, accepting what you cannot change. For a huge chunk of peace, not pieces of peaceful moments.
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari