Review

 

Quote of the Day

THE ALL TIME CLEANSERS

The market is flooded with all kinds of cleansers with different aromas. Shoppers can have a field day trying out new ones every day if they so wish. How good we feel when we feel fresh after using a fragrant lavender or a jasmine gel or soap! You would imagine that this “feel good” factor would sustain through the day. But, this may not be true at all. The moment we transfer our body consciousness into our mental and emotional consciousness, these cleansers lose their fragrance.

The most effective cleansers for every human being are in the form of mind cleansers. The mind is really at the core of all pollution, aided by the ego.  When the mind becomes tarnished by low self worth, it goes into comparisons, depressions, self rejection perceived as “other” rejection, snowballing into defiance or aggression as a self defense reaction. In this mode, the easiest and most rampant results seen among people are spoiling relationships, transferring blame to external factors and an unwillingness to come out of the shell to observe ourselves like others observe us.

Cleansing such complexities is very tough when we look for help and help is not available. Anyway, eventually, we have to work at cleansing ourselves.

There are many cleansers available if we find it in our hearts to use them.

COMPASSION is one. To feel a sense of kindness towards those who are going through a negative phase and are enveloping you in it, however unwittingly. Compassion demonstrates an understanding for such people.

FORGIVENESS is the next. “Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do”, is one of the Commandments in the Bible. Forgiveness was supposed to be a way of life, which, today, is very hard to find. Our ego often boasts of having forgiven, but genuine forgiveness has two sides: to forgive and to be forgiven.  This two way forgiveness is deeply cleansing in terms of bettering relationships as well as cleansing past karma.

CLEANLINESS: We look at cleanliness in terms of hygiene, referring to cleansing the body, our homes, the kitchen utensils we cook and eat in. But cleanliness also means keeping the purity of thought, word and deed in our daily lives. We often fail to do so, submitting to our reactionary mode to cause more and more damage everywhere and spreading negativity instead of cleanliness.

SELF CONTROL: Giving in to desires and wants, adopting unethical means to achieve those wants, inability to control anger or hatred, meting out injustice and many such impure initiatives can be removed with self control.

Life presents many challenges and it is tough to practice using these cleansers. Ultimately, those who don’t do not make a habit of cleansing may end up paying a heavy price with their health or losing valuable relationships and run the risk of isolation.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

National Committee Chairperson, All Ladies League ( www.aall.in )

How times and people change!

I am constantly amazed at myself and the complete metamorphosis within myself. During my growing up years and much after, until a few years ago, I was such a romantic, such a sentimental person! Addicted to watching four movies a day during my holidays, I became an effective story teller to my cousins who would sit with rapt attention at my emotive narrations, with every expression and every nuance of the dialogue delivery by every actor imitated to perfection! After I was done with the romance, laughter, tears and anger of the film characters, my cousins felt they didn’t need to see the film at all! Today, I recognize that time in my life as a phase. It is difficult for me to sit through one movie today.

If I may use a generalization, youngsters go through pangs of love, separation, fulfillment, “stars in the eyes” phase, reading poetry moony- eyed and all of that and more. The rose colored spectacles stay on longer for some than others.

However, as we progress from this phase to the next, we should increase our vision to become more inclusive of other people, their trials and tribulations, their miseries and tragedies, and then, romantic notions will probably seem inadequate in terms of wholesome growth. There is a great sense of satisfaction and joy in reaching out beyond ourselves and an equally great sense of exhaustion and lack of purpose in living just for ourselves.

There is profound truth in the line from Urdu poetry, “aur bhi gham hain zamane mein mohabbat ke siva”, meaning that there are more tragedies in this world than romantic love”. It indicates that focusing on just this one aspect is being spiritually myopic and by inference, there are other forms of love that need activation, such as compassion and empathy.

Changes, both in thoughts and perspectives are inevitable and can be very meaningful if we can change our priorities and adapt to these changes successfully. It is called “moving with the times”. It is incredible then, that while some can see others changing, others are unable to see the change within themselves. Any shift in equation is upsetting for such people because either they haven’t learnt to move on or they are unable to handle their comfort levels being disturbed by the changes around them.

Moving forward also means “letting go” of past events while learning the lessons from it. So, logically speaking, those who “let go” are able to move forward faster and respond and adapt to change better.

None of us is today what we were yesterday and will not be tomorrow what we are today. Change is a subtle process that creeps up on us unless we see it happening with a microscopic sense of self awareness. The whole process of personal growth relies on a gradual build up of this very awareness which enables us to watch the process of change and make intelligent choices about the kind of change to accept or deny. The pre condition is that we need the wisdom of discernment to encounter change with a strainer in one hand and a balance in the other: to accept growth – oriented change and balance it with the existent principles, traditions and values we cherish.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

Blog: surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: http://www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

“FOR THE YOUTH”

The youth of today is in a very exciting space which is filled with many scientific and technological advantages. A vast vista of opportunities has opened up before them due to the professionalization of services. At the same time, there has been a steady infiltration and influence of other cultures and thought processes through the telecom and Internet revolution. The world has shrunk manifold in that sense.

In such circumstances, the greatest challenge for the youth of India is to process the inputs from other cultures to integrate them harmoniously with our age old, distinctive cultural heritage and traditions. The nurturing of a family, respect for the elders, the value systems we are taught and the spirituality inculcated within us need to be preserved. Change is a constant in everyone’s life. However, is all change to be accepted indiscriminately if it is at the cost of our well being and that of others around us?

From our predecessors, we have inherited virtues like honesty, integrity, love and respect for others, compassion, charity towards the less fortunate, faith and trust in the spoken word, and peace and prosperity within families and societies. Somehow, before it is too late, we have to reinstall these qualities within our hearts and minds.

In the last few years, change has set in so rapidly that there may be a perception of a wider generation gap between the youth and the elders. The influx of western thought and culture while influencing the youth does not particularly enamor the tradition bound parents and other elders. In the larger context, this is inevitable in every generation and should not matter to the younger generation. They should be able to map out their own goals and a plan to achieve them within the current scenario of opportunities and environment. Instead of getting into unnecessary temptations and diversions, those who, single mindedly forge ahead with courage, conviction, focus, determination and perseverance, will definitely achieve their goals. Making the right choices is very important. Giving up on dreams or compromising good values for the bad can never be a choice.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

BE KIND TO YOURSELF

Being kind to others is intrinsic to Indian culture. It is a part of our upbringing and the value system that is firmly ingrained in our formative years. Definitely, our connectivity with people makes this a requirement. However, what makes this exercise more meaningful is when kindness comes from the heart and has no personal benefit but a philanthropic one, and then it becomes a joyful experience.

However, when kindness is practiced with strings attached, it loses its meaning and we start becoming unkind to ourselves. Intention is the prime thought and this is what manifests within us as a debit or credit. So, it is not necessary that overt kindness will bring us brownie points, in fact, quite the reverse. As they say, you can hide your true motives from others but not from yourself. So, every time we make use of others for our own gains by making pretence of kindness, our wrong motives block our energy and deprive us of our moral strength.

The other aspect we need to look into very seriously is our negative reactions to events and people. We are unable to accept people as they are and get judgmental constantly. We are angry, resentful, filled with envy or hatred. We hurt people because we are hurt by them or because we want to feel good by hurting them. We choose to misunderstand people we don’t like very much. Sometimes, we retaliate out of an inferiority complex. Often, our ego becomes very fragile and we become very sensitive. At these times, our levels of self confidence and self esteem are low. We tend to blame others for our own shortcomings.

Why do we go through these complexities when we can be simple? The best remedy is knowledge out of which comes wisdom .Our self image can be enhanced by becoming aware of and accepting what we need to change in ourselves. This awareness and acceptance of ourselves will take us forward in empowering ourselves.

These exercises of self analysis and facing our selves are compulsory steps to start being kind to oneself. It also means that we have to be cruel to ourselves to be kind. We have to analyze our psyche, often mercilessly, to start the process of change. It is a hard task but those who have done it have benefited hugely.

Just as we have to have surgery to cure a physical ailment, we have to do a psychological surgery to our mind consistently until we internalize the feeling of peace and joy. This will be the biggest kindness to us.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

The Path of Evolution

Whether we like it or not, or believe in it or not, the fact is that change and evolution happens to each of us every day. Many of us are not aware that it is happening. The constant action and interaction, the responses and reactions to external stimuli, the changing levels of awareness, the gradual acquisition of knowledge and many other factors are responsible.

When we speak of change, we always hope it is for the betterment of us and perceive evolution in terms of moving forward into a program of ascension through learning and personal experiences. As they say, it is better to be better than bitter with the passing of each day. Bitterness and disappointments are reactions which show us that we are vibrating on a very low and sluggish level which will only bring in more negativities than we are coping with already. They also demonstrate that we have embarked on the downward path vis- a -vis the path of ascension. The dictate “pull yourself up” is the theme for all seekers.

So many of us try to hold on to the past, especially when it has been a pleasurable phase. These kinds of people resist change and if the reason for their pleasurable past depends on other people, then, ideally, they don’t want these other people to change either. Unfortunately, this is against the law of life. Every soul is on its unique path of evolution and does not share the same destiny. People outgrow events and often, their equations with other people may also change. The quality of relationship may change. This has to be seen as a natural process, not one which needs resistance or one that shows any individuals in a negative light.

The path of evolution is to be traversed on alone, with different souls coming into our lives at different stages, only to help us to move on when we may be getting stuck. As such, critics are important souls in our lives because they show us a mirror to get us out of the stagnation stage to move on again. We need people to oppose and criticize us to correct ourselves if we have made wrong choices along the way.

The process of evolution is a very exciting one for those who observe the changes within themselves and experience the joy that these changes bring. But, the path for those who resist change and enclose themselves within a comfortable box is a very laborious one fraught with several challenges amidst a state of confusion, a resistance to let go and the motivation to grow out of a difficult phase into a courage and focus driven path.

The need of every hour is to collect ourselves, get our act together, assess our current levels and make a determined effort to ascend to higher levels of consciousness and knowledge.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

PERFECT IMPERFECT

Indeed, we all would like to be perfect if we knew what it means. What is it like to be perfect? Ms. Or Mr. Perfect, will you please stand up and be acknowledged and applauded? I am still searching for answers to questions like this one. I have some thoughts, though, which I am sharing here.

All the time, we are told that the Divine is perfect and humans need to rise to that level.

“Perfect” is, to me, at best, a very subjective concept. Are geniuses perfect? Are International Celebrities perfect? Is a Nobel Prize or Pulitzer prizewinner perfect? Don’t they have several imperfect moments?

Then comes the basic question, am I perfect?

Immediately, I am going to get into a comparative mode to determine where this elusive word called “perfection” fits the bill. For example, when we go to an Art Gallery to see the painting of well-known artists, we suddenly stop near the one, which impresses us, and can’t help saying, “this is perfect”. In whose eyes is it perfect? According to your aesthetics, it is not lacking in anything. Therefore, it is perfect. But someone else in the room can declare the painting you don’t like at all as perfect. So, is there a common benchmark that defines perfection?

Magazines often conduct a poll about the ten or twenty most beautiful women in the world. Have they gone into remote interiors to see how many beautiful women live unrecognized? So, they are actually limiting themselves to those women who have become popular and successful.  Are they then, really the acme of perfection?

People eulogize about film stars and ape them all their lives, wanting to become like them. Do these people see perfection in them? Or, do they feel that if they succeeded in becoming like them, they would not need to strive for anything else? This is the vision of a perfect life they carry with them.

So, if we think about it, we are actually acknowledging moments of perfection in others as we see them, such as a brilliant performance, an arresting painting, an impressive talk which touches the heart, a little child which spells perfection to a mother, and so on.

So, if perfection is only comparative, is it only to be recognized in others? Are moments of perfection not visible in our own lives? It could be the simplest moments but as valuable, such as, when we cook a perfect dish or make a perfect cup of coffee. We don’t really need to world to recognize our moments of perfection. They are for our eyes only, for our hearts only.

The one pillar that all perfection rests on is that of contentment in being who we are. To people, I might be mediocre but if I am perfect for myself, what tags people shower me with do not matter. I am perfectly aware even in my imperfections that my journey of life will teach me to be my own yardstick, my own benchmark in everything I think and do. I know that I have a lot of work to do. I just need to be aware of the laws of the Universe and work towards my goals without impinging on others while recognizing that they are also on their own journey. 

Therefore, I am, like others, the perfect imperfect who is striving for my kind of perfection that makes me unique and perfect in the way I understand my journey. For, only I can do that.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com                

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

http://www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

GOD! ARE YOU LISTENING?

Many have often declared stoically that they are atheists. Let them profess to be so in a dire situation or crisis! When push comes to shove and all efforts fail, “someone up there” is there to fall back on. We live in a whirlpool of theories about “God”, that unseen power. Although we believe in the goodness of God, we wage wars “in the name of God”. We think God is light but we are happy to live in the dark: dark thoughts, dark words and equally dark deeds. We think there is an old, wise being “up there” who pours over a big, black book of debits and credits with a view to punishing humans. Quaint but amusing!

We can discuss God “ad nauseum” but the truth is, God can only be experienced as popularly theorized. Those who have absolute faith in prayer and the subtle energies have been privy to such experiences as have people who consider themselves “ordinary” vis-a-vis some others who are “extraordinary”. “God! Are you listening?”

The terms “ordinary” and “extraordinary” are mere perspectives based on perceived success and failure. Just today, I heard someone say, “courage is not the opposite of fear; it is driven by fear”. Similarly, for human beings, God is driven by crisis or disaster of any kind. God is our Disaster Manager. God is one who is expected to become active when humans can’t deal with a serious, even life threatening situation. Or, this is what WE believe. Would you believe me if I said that we all have the qualities of God within us but no intention, awareness, effort or realization? What would you say if I said that if we hadn’t polluted our energies by sullying ourselves in the muddy waters of this transient world, we could actually elevate ourselves to becoming spiritual masters like the Buddha, Lord Rama, Jesus Christ and others? The buck lies with us supported by God’s grace. “God! Are you listening?’’

  

God can be experienced in many ways. The sudden appearance of a stranger on a lonely road who gives you a lift to your home is no coincidence. You are looking for a book in a bookshop but you pick up a completely different book, which has an answer you have been looking for since quite sometime. You are alone and depressed when a friend forces you to go out and you meet someone there who later, becomes your life partner. A long lost friend re enters your life suddenly when you are in abject need of support.

The point is, are we just staring at the signs of the presence of God without understanding or are we actually aware and cognizant of God given help and opportunities?  But simultaneously, we need to make ourselves worthy to attract the godly energy. We need to increase our levels of cleansing and awareness to actually feel God within ourselves constantly; through substantiating God by living exemplary lives of which God, our “parent” energy can be proud. Let us invite God’s grace every living moment. “God! Are you listening?”

Surekha Kothari          

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

ABOUT MINDSETS

Do you get stuck with the same thought? Are you able to change your thinking on issues which you have fixed views on? Can you think differently from your family and friends? Do you introspect on your belief system to see if you are on the right track?

I am sure none of us can underplay the role of conditioning in our lives. It is the most subtle form of creating mindsets. And I say this because there is little awareness of what we build up inside us over a period of time. We believe our parents out of respect and adopt their thinking patterns. Peer pressure can fix our mind like nothing else can! The need to belong is greater than the possible outcome of invoking anger, sanctions and disapproval resulting from being an independent thinker and “daring” to be different.

Mindsets can be little or huge, though, in my book, each of these are to be examined under a microscope before their worth is proven. What is or SHOULD be unacceptable are those which have been ingrained within us from external sources. ..Some may be compatible and others may not be…I will explain.

Every human being is an individual soul, a unique soul, here on its own journey, with its own “karmic” connections and the freedom of choices. We are here for the EXPERIENCE of being human beings and to learn the lessons we came to learn. Along our journey, we are aided by other souls in the form of family, friends and even those we call enemies. By the very fact that we journey alone under varied environments and situations, how can the solutions for one be a solution for all?

But, along the same journey, we do tend to, unwittingly and without realizing, pick up many beliefs of others which may hinder us in accomplishing our soul purpose. The simple argument against doing this is , “I am not anyone else.  So, I will have to live by my choices and not necessarily the ones which are recommended by others.”

So, to  become an accomplished ,  independent thinker, I may have to unlearn some of the learning  from my past young and immature days. I might have to resist the rigidities of others being foisted on me. Of course, I may be frowned upon if I try to deviate from old set patterns established over the years but I have to tolerate this if I want to carry on with my own journey and not get side-tracked into attaching myself onto someone else’s journey.

Why do I say this? Haven’t you seen that with change and evolution, the truth and validity of beliefs and principles also change?  There are glaring examples everywhere. For example, look at the clothes women are wearing with great comfort today; the older generations would have balked at the very thought! In fact, with modernization comes a pattern of thinking and living unknown to man a few years earlier. This is what we call evolution from phase to phase.

What is noteworthy however, and the point I am trying to make is that, we are able to change our outer selves. But the MINDSETS seem to go on forever! We are not interested in coming out of the boxes we have sunk comfortably into. I don’t have a quarrel with mindsets if they become so after they are introspected on and found to be viable and conducive to our growth. Those then become beacons to follow.

My target is only those mindsets which have been adopted without rational thinking and based on what OTHERS think about how you should think and behave. This line of thought generally incorporates many prejudices, biases and such imbalances which warp the psyche. The resulting actions then would obviously be other – oriented, too and maybe, and not necessarily growth – oriented.

Whether it is religion, or family feuds, “family” patterns and mindsets, personal likes and dislikes, or fear of social sanction , wise people recommend a fair assessment and introspection of thoughts before forming opinions which , when confirmed again and again either by ourselves or by others as the gospel truth, tend to become mindsets. And we continue to live by them permanently, and ironically, in a constantly changing world.

We can be like a flowing river which collects pebbles, sand, weeds etc. along the journey, but unwaveringly, makes new pathways to skirt the obstacles which block it, to reach the ocean and merge with it. Mindsets are the blocks and shifting perspectives to accommodate change are new pathways to reach and merge with Divinity.

Why would we settle for anything less?

Surekha Kothari