I counsel many
of my clients about taking charge of their lives. But, at what point does that happen? How does it happen? Does a bell suddenly ring
in the head, like the school bell indicating a change in activity? Or, is there
a sudden spark in the brain?
That triggers at
the right time can change me drastically is a truth I can’t deny. This can
happen to anyone. But life changing triggers can often be compelling and often,
passed by because we don’t perceive them as triggers. In the latter case, I
will start building up repeated patterns for sure, because I will continue to
behave in the same manner and therefore, evidently, attract the same results.
So, what do I
mean when I say “take charge of your life”? We are not even aware of the extent
to which we live our lives by the standards and expectations of others.
Socially, when we indulge in group activities, we conform to a group standard.
At home, we are bogged down by many diverse energies amidst which we often lose
our own. Even if we were isolated, our own desires and expectations from
ourselves and life would invariably strike at our core existence issues.
I understand
taking charge of my life, not as doing what I like without consideration for
others. I feel when I am in charge of my life, I am able to make conscious
choices and take balanced decisions, which would benefit everyone. I take
charge of my life at every step during each day. I also realize that sometimes, I am not able to
take charge and I find other people or events have taken charge at that point.
The only way I can then take charge is to accept gracefully what I cannot
change. That, in my mind, is also taking charge.
If we are looking
for a formula for taking charge, the route we have to take is through being
masters of our thoughts and emotions and understanding that compromises are
unavoidable sometimes, and also necessary for our growth. For example, one who
loses a tournament is in charge if the attitude is an “accepting with a smile”
one. I am in charge if I accept what I cannot change but renew my efforts with
a new vigor each time.
Emotions play a
very important role in deciding if I am in charge. The moment I internalize negative
emotions about anyone or anything, I am no longer in charge because I have
allowed my negativity to take away my power. Lost power always translates into
a lack of charge. The moment I create
blocks within me, I am no longer in charge of my life. Something or someone has
affected me enough to wrest my charge away from me.
We keep passing
the buck onto to anyone and everyone. We are reticent about shouldering the
responsibility of what, in fact, we create with our reactions and responses.
The day we stop blaming our relationships, the events in our life and start
thinking of where we exercised the wrong choices, where we preferred short term
gains by giving up charge, where we compromised wrongly, why we put ourselves
under the control of someone, that will be the first step towards regaining the
charge. First, I need to know why and where I lost it. Then I need to have the
courage to make changes, however challenging, to retrieve the charge of my
life. Finally, I need to embark upon a new plan of action inspired by the core self.
People who have
the charge of their lives have a glow on the face, confidence in their eyes and
in their stride. They are not fazed by failure, criticism nor are they remotely
connected with negativity. They are leaders and teachers. They are path
finders. They are on the path of ascension.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
