Monday 29 February 2016
Blame game
The blame game! We have done it ever since we can remember and
still continue with it. I guess it is always easier to blame something else or
someone else for the plight we find ourselves in. That "plight" we
are in needs attention and analysis.
Once we accept that we make the choices for our lives, all
arguments become meaningless. But that is being rational. You will find that
people who are strong in energy make choices for themselves which is fine.
But rationality does not always
prevail. On the flip side, there are others who are weak in energy, who will
blame the earth if they fall, blame the family for a bad marriage and so on… everyone except
themselves. Not only are miserable, they also make others around them
miserable.
And it is
so much depletion of energy all over. If only we learn to accept that we are
largely responsible for what transpires in our lives, we can change things
around for a total transformation in our lives. Because we can't change the
external environment or people. But we can work at our own attitudes and
knowledge. When we are young, we go through conditioning. But as adults, with
education, observation and analysis, we should be able to understand the
futility of the blame game and the impact of taking responsibility for our
lives.
Surekha
Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothariSunday 28 February 2016
Thursday 25 February 2016
Awareness
Once a shopkeeper dropped some honey on the floor. He picked
up whatever he could salvage from the upper layers, and left the rest on the
floor. Immediately, some flies came down to lick the honey. Gradually, as they
became greedy for more, they did not see that their wings were getting stuck in
the honey. Other flies who came in also got stuck for the same reason.
When they had finished, they realized they could not fly.
Moral:
It is always wise to keep your awareness around you and
never lose your balance so that you never get stuck in life.
Surekha
Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Wednesday 24 February 2016
Tuesday 23 February 2016
Age Comparison
It is lovely sitting around the
fire on a cold evening. Just like it is lovely to sit around your children to
warm your heart. Good comparison…but fire destroys, too. As a symbolic fire in relationships.
It
is sad to see disorientation between new age kids and parents. I wonder why
love is not enough. There is much imagery in relationships today…sometimes;
children are even ashamed of their parents, their dressing, their behavior,
their social etiquette, that they look and talk down to them.
When you get into your late 50's and 60's, and
see people and loved ones leaving this world one after another, it seems
unimaginable that anyone should disregard the value of their near ones . It is
not their fault that they were from a different environment, growing up. That
they only learnt what they were allowed to learn at that time. That the freedom
today was not given then. And many other circumstances due to which they became
what they are today.
Surekha
Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Monday 22 February 2016
Sunday 21 February 2016
Memories
It
is so amazing how we are born in one place but settle somewhere else. Actually,
do you know that even land pulls us towards it? We have had several past lives
and in the places that we have unfinished business, we also have a tenure of
residence or a visit.
You
get a deja vous in certain places you visit. I distinctly remember such
situations in Rajasthan and in Chittoor in particular and all of us have these
memories. Yes, land definitely calls out to us have these memories. Yes, land
definitely calls out to us.
Sometimes
we exhibit certain traits of the land we have lived in, like a deep interest in
certain music or dance or even dressing styles.
Quite fascinating!
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Thursday 18 February 2016
"The cockroach theory for self development"
At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady, she
started screaming out of fear with a panic stricken face and trembling voice,
she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the
cockroach.
Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky.
The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but ...it landed on another lady in the group
new, it was the turn of the other lady in the group
to continue the drama.
The waiter rushed forward to their rescue. In the
relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood
firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt.
When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out
of the restaurant.
Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the
antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the
cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior? If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed? He handled
it near to perfection, without any chaos. It is not the cockroach, but the
inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that
disturbed the ladies.
I realized that, it is not the shouting of my
father or my boss or my wife that disturbs me, but it's my inability to handle
the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me. It's not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me,
but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that
disturbs me.
More than the problem, it's my reaction to the
problem that creates chaos in my life.
Lessons
learnt from the story:
I understood, I should not react in life. I should always respond. The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded. Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are
always well thought.
Do you
have the ability to find a reason to laugh at yourself? It is a very liberating
experience, believe me! So, one day, I was travelling by a share cab with my
two grand kids and daughter in New York. These share cabs pick up people on the
way if they want to travel the same route and provided there is space, of
course. I was completely unaware of this.
So, while
we were chattering away, suddenly the left side door opened to a young man.
Before I could show my displeasure for unceremoniously stopping our cab, my
daughter told me to move to the right. In bewilderment and completely not
understanding what was happening, I quickly shifted to my right and fell with a
thud on the floor of the cab.
I had not realized that, for
some reason best known to the cabbie, half the back seat had been
removed! After a few seconds of shocked silence in the cab, I broke into
peals of laughter and my grandkids and daughter, very relieved at my reaction,
joined in. At this moment, I realized how wonderful a feeling it is to laugh at
myself. It freed me from being conscious in the presence of others.
Surekha
Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Wednesday 17 February 2016
Tuesday 16 February 2016
Reading
I
was reading a quote which said, however good you are, there will always someone
criticizing you. It took me a long time to finally understand that people don’t
criticize you because they don’t like you. They criticize you either because
they like you, though reluctantly and wish they could be like you… or because
they resonate with the same negativity that they criticize you for.
This
kind of understanding frees you from feeling a lack of self worth and there is
no personal “beating up” due to what others says or thinks. Isn’t that
wonderful?
Surekha
Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Monday 15 February 2016
Sunday 14 February 2016
Generalization
People are people, in various degrees of dark and light shades. Is it our acceptability which is suspect then? To brand family as negative smacks of a perspective where the only colors available are black and white...no gray, which is also a realistic color of life?
When
friends fall out with friends, and when family supports us, what will all our
slogan be? “Thank God for family?”
Generalizations
are odious! Branding people is even worse. If we have such colored perceptions,
we need healing. Everyone is family to some and friend to some. When you grow
up within a family set up, the familiarity aspect can curtail personal space.
When
we turn away from generalizations only can we look at our belief system in a
different way and consequently, learn to look at those around us minus built up
prejudices. Once we are prejudiced, we build a wall around us and don’t often
notice that people don’t always remain the same. They also change, whether they
are family members or friends.
Surekha
Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Thursday 11 February 2016
Fighting and Killing In The Name Of Religion
In an
ancient temple, a number of pigeons lived happily on the roof top. When the
renovation of the temple began for the annual temple feast, the pigeons
relocated themselves to a Church nearby. The existing pigeons in the Church
accommodated the new comers very well.
Christmas
was nearing and the Church was given a facelift, all the pigeons had to move out and look for another place. They were fortunate
to find a place in a Mosque nearby, the pigeons in the Mosque welcomed them
happily. It was Ramadan time and the Mosque was repainted, all the pigeons now
came to the same ancient temple.
One day the pigeons on top found some communal
clashes below in a market square. The baby pigeon asked the mother pigeon
"Who are these people?” The mother replied, “They are Human beings". The
baby asked, “But why are they fighting with each other?”
The mother said "These human beings going
to temple are called 'Hindus' and the people going to Church are called
'Christians' and the people going to Mosque are called 'Muslims'.
The Baby pigeon asked, "Why is it so? When
we were in the Temple, we were called Pigeons, when we were in the Church, we
were called Pigeons and when we were in the Mosque and we were called Pigeons.
Similarly they should be called just 'Human beings' wherever they go"?
The mother Pigeon said, “Apparently these so
called intelligent human beings don’t understand that there is one God called
by different names in different religions. Hence they are fighting and killing
each other in the name of religion.”
Surekha
Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Wednesday 10 February 2016
Tuesday 9 February 2016
About "Titiksha"
I want to share what my mother told me
today...about "titiksha". It means, without worry, grief or tears and
without resisting the flow of life and events, to tolerate everything. A tall
order, right? But there is more!
This is just ONE quality of a peaceful person.
The others are: decisiveness, obedience, sacrifice, love, generosity,
happiness, silence, patience and tolerance.
These are pearls of wisdom from our spiritual
texts and Masters who lived these qualities.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Monday 8 February 2016
Sunday 7 February 2016
Vehement reaction
The most intelligent thought
process would be the managing of the cause and effect cycle. When we feel we
don't want to give people a reason to feel inadequate or unhappy on account of
us, we are actually trying to manage relationships intelligently.
When Mahatma Gandhi advocated turning the other cheek when slapped on one, it was a suggestion to pour cold water to extinguish the fire, to take away from the person the weapon of anger and the consequences thereof.
We know what happens when
there is a vehement reaction! Things escalate within a second and a spark turns
into a raging fire.
The way to go is be intelligent enough to nip any oncoming issue in the bud.
Surekha
Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Thursday 4 February 2016
Formula for Peaceful Mind
There
was a couple living in a small village in Gujarat. The man would get up early
every morning, meditate for one hour and then start his morning routine. The
woman would sleep in late and get up only after the man finished meditating.
While
conserving one day, the woman asked, “You get up so early. What do you get out
of the meditation?”
The
man answered, “I get nothing”.
The woman, surprised, said, “Then why don’t
you catch up on your sleep, like me?”
The
man said, “Actually, I lose a lot through meditation”.
The
woman, even more surprised, asked, “What do you lose?”
The
man said, “Over a period of time, I have lost my ego, my anger, my selfish ways
and reduced my jealousies and hatreds. What I have achieved is peace of mind”.
TRY
THIS FORMULA SOMETIME.
Surekha
Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Wednesday 3 February 2016
Tuesday 2 February 2016
Gratitude and forgiveness
Gratitude and forgiveness are two jewels in
the human crown without which the crown is one with thorns. So, a big round of
gratitude to every helpful soul, not only in Chennai but everywhere. And
forgiveness for others and ourselves for all the reasons we know about. A lot
to learn and keep learning...to fine tune our heart chakra to feel more love,
compassion and empathy. Stay blessed!
Surekha
Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Monday 1 February 2016
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