Thursday 29 September 2016
Wednesday 28 September 2016
Digesting success!
Digesting success! It is a social issue
which increases with more materialism incorporating elements like excess
wealth, celebrity status and the power that accompanies these, often bringing
in a certain amount of carelessness, even callousness and riding slip shod over
people because with a head in the clouds, looking down is not a virtue in
possession.
Spiritually,
these are often not compatible because of what they do to the psyche. It is
only the odd person who can digest “success” in
terms of good karma being rewarded and therefore, gratitude.
But there is a little good news…
Today,
the tolerance to myopic attitudes is wearing thin. The wheel is turning once
more towards the universal values and against self centered thoughts and actions at the cost of others.
Today,
gradually, right is being applauded as right and wrong as wrong. I guess we are
fed up of artifice, might is right, the attitude that the end justifies the
means and the economic disparities which continue to make it difficult for the
common man to keep a certain standard, especially when there is so much
available that money can buy today.. And it doesn't help to have glaring
publicity and opulence for those few who have much and state it every minute
with their attitudes, their lifestyles and not enough demonstration of
improving the lot of the masses in the country.
No, I
am not either a communist or an anti capitalist. But I do believe in values
like stooping when tall, humble when successful and contributing to creating a
balanced society in every way.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Tuesday 27 September 2016
Monday 26 September 2016
Tolerance level
Our tolerance levels are so thin these days, every
little pin prick becomes a wound. The reactions to small, simple things are
just ridiculously huge. It's like the world might be ending the next second.
What is probably happening is, there are very few
filters. Very little thought before action. It is evident everywhere. On the
roads as road rage. In parties, as an aftermath of too much alcohol. In
families with too much money, fame and power, and so on...
It is unfortunate that a land of an old spiritual
tradition should come to this. The whole world looks to India for culture,
tradition and spirituality, a few major qualities being tolerance, patience,
respect, discipline and inner wisdom that was honed since a very young age in
the earlier times.
Today, the teaching institutions themselves are so
commercial and non spiritual that they are bound to impart the same energy to
the youth of today. Who do we blame for the onslaught of the "instant
coffee" and instant gratification age where money and values are not
talked about in the same breath?
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Friday 23 September 2016
Honesty
In Hindi, there is a saying, "jhooth ki umar
bahut chhoti hoti hai". And I have seen this coming true around me.
Growing up, lying used to be tantamount to a small crime in my parents' home.
The philosophy was that if you let small lies pass, they may turn into bigger
ones later.
Today, no one lies. It is called diplomacy. You
just say what the other person wants to hear. Never mind if it is not the
truth. Truth is trivial if it causes conflicts. Who wants to hear it? And this
is how one builds up relationships.
The opacity that has set in
because of such attitudes has gone a long way in corroding the fabric of
transparency and honesty. I don't know how one can justify these patterns in
society if one wants to genuinely change the social order.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Thursday 22 September 2016
Wednesday 21 September 2016
Aspirations
As a
therapist, I see many mood swings in people. I see this emotional see saw in
many people. I have seen it at close quarters, among close acquaintances and
family, too, sometimes. And earlier in life, in myself as well.
There
are many, many, many factors at work. The upbringing , memories from other
lives, complexes in this life, aspirations and struggles to achieve dreams,
relationships and their aftermath...and much , much more.
But
more important is the one reason for the yoyo
syndrome: a paucity of self belief and consequently, of the higher power
within. It is almost like, there is electricity and there are bulbs to light up
but we don't know that a switch is required to illuminate the surroundings.
That knowledge and the reason for the darkness are the keys to stabilize
ourselves.
As Jagadguru says, we and only we are
responsible for our miseries, our joy and our mental, emotional and
intellectual status.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Monday 19 September 2016
Valuing
Valuing those around you! Very important! Appreciating is a form of
valuing someone. It speaks of our own confidence, generosity and openness of
the heart chakra. Culturally, we see groups who are very insecure and more
envious of others than appreciative. The psychology is, "I am not going to
give him or her satisfaction of feeling important." Here, we can totally
see the high levels of low self esteem working.
Friends, examine your thoughts and understand that if
you are feeling threatened enough by someone, you will unconsciously or
deliberately react negatively
with that person.
In our journey of evolution,
we have to watch ourselves very carefully and work towards regaining the
realization of our true selves so that we can accept that others, too, are as
unique as us and their uniqueness does not take away anything from ours...ever!
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Sunday 18 September 2016
Friday 16 September 2016
Sense of responsibility
There was a time when being friends meant telling each other what the weakness
of each other was, like showing a mirror. It was a time when friends were
responsible for doing the "right” thing by each other, as in, retaining
the value systems of their homes and frowning at and correcting any lapses. To
be a friend was an ethical and moral achievement and came with a major sense of
responsibility. There were great bonds, almost an extension of family. There was leisure and simple pleasures. The psyche was molded
with supreme foresight and wisdom by the "gurukul".
A Vedic school in India is
being talked about. It is a matter of great foresight on the part of the government.
There can be no better way of bringing back the wonderful Indian cultural and
ethical traditions than teaching them to children. People think that India will
regress this way. I think India will gradually regain all its glory and
spiritual supremacy which is
the gateway to all other kinds of supremacy.
Most important, whichever
religion we may follow, acceptance of the human way of life with all its
universal principles is the key to elevating the standard of friendship,
relationships and the quality of life itself.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Thursday 15 September 2016
Wednesday 14 September 2016
Detachment
The greatest awareness to build up is that
anything can happen anytime! Complacence is the last thing we should have,
especially about our health. Someone just bends down or picks up a heavy bag
and is afflicted with a slip disc issue. Another sneezes and has a retinal
detachment.
Car accidents happen in a fit of anger,
depression or rage.....we think it happens to other people , only until such
time as , much to our shock and disbelief, it happens to us. A lesson for
constant awareness of our own health first...always exercises caution!
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Tuesday 13 September 2016
Monday 12 September 2016
Observation
If the only thing we did in
life was to observe people and why they do what they do, we would actually live
the saying “Life is the best school". Not
only that, we would also understand ourselves better. No puzzle here! It is
simple! For every observation, examine the emotion within you and the
importance you give it, and you will realize what
it is that you need to work on.
What we also learn is what to
do and what not to do. Learning history, geography etc. May fetch us a degree
but if we can learn the right lessons in the school of life we can get our
pedigree.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Sunday 11 September 2016
Friday 9 September 2016
Quality of emotion
People say it is good to take
people and things at face value ....hmmm...really? But what is the end result
of taking such an attitude? Evidently, something like taking everything with a
pinch of salt! So, that makes for a lot of salt in the system! And salt retains water in the body. Water, you know, is a symbol of
emotions. Which means, if you are taking that attitude, you are doing it
superficially and suppressing
a lot of emotion in the bargain?
Otherwise, how come people who appear to be breezy, nonchalant
and least affected are afflicted with serious ailments? Strokes! Heart attacks!
Lung diseases! These reflect an inability to breathe in life positively.
Excess emotion can be a big killer. So, it is always better to accept
the quality of emotion you are feeling, run through it and cleanse it
immediately. We can pretend before others. Can we run away from ourselves?
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
SpeakingtreeBlog:
Thursday 8 September 2016
Saturday 3 September 2016
Friday 2 September 2016
Wisdom
Adults
who have psychological issues need to look at their growing up years. Parenting
comes very hard to some parents. It is very common, especially in India for
family and friends to foist their expectations and opinions on each other.
Hardly
a year goes by for the newly married couple when people start wondering if
everything is alright in their marriage. Why? Because they haven't announced
that they are on their way to becoming parents. ..Children are therefore, often
the desired "objects" that make couples feel "normal". And of
course, if the "object" is a boy, then the parents hold exalted
images. But they may not have been ready for parenting, or wise for that matter.
As
a result, many children are mal nourished emotionally because the parents are
not mature themselves. And they grow up minus the wisdom that should accompany
the love, caring and attention. So, some children become lonely. Some become
recluses. Some become overburdened with expectations. Some become attention
seeking....and some try to draw attention though
anything sensational, even killing.
Parents
really have to be very careful about exercising wisdom in their own lives and
lives of their children.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Thursday 1 September 2016
How do we learn our lessons?
Someone asked me a question on my blog
“how do we learn our lessons?” A very good question, because we don't often
know what we need to learn, where to
start.
Basically, we can learn either from
other people's mistakes or from our own. But
again, what to learn either ways?
Sage Patanjali advocates the
understanding of five human afflictions to start off the process of the right
knowledge to apply to our learning.
1. Avidya (ignorance). To obtain
knowledge of our soul, our purpose, what hinders growth? This requires a
realistic introspection. Avidya is believing we know when we don't at all, or
partially. About anything. We all know that when we think we know, there is
always more to know.
2. Asmita (ego, the "I"
identity) which colors our mind and intellect, and hence, our understanding
because it dominates, colors our perceptions and hence, creates an imbalance in the mind.
3. Raga (attachment). It creates
dualities of "mine" and "yours", conflicting with the
universal law of connectivity and of a universal consciousness.
4. Dvesh (hatred). The opposite of
attachment is shunning due to hatred, dislike. Also an imbalance because it has
no place in the evolution of man.
5.
Abhinivesha (fear of death). This happens due to all the four mentioned above.
We are attached to our physical bodies and to those of others. We are attached
to our egos which is misleading us from the truth. The positives and negatives
create an illusion of loss and gain, and we hold on to the world and our
physical, emotional and mental reality as we know it. Actually, we need to let go and flow smoothly.
So,
we must start working on our own cleansing of coloration through conditioning
and imbibing wrong knowledge along the way. And then, with a new awareness, we
will understand what we could have done better earlier and what we can do in
the present and future for our journey and our evolution.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
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