Path of Non-Resistance

Whatever you resist becomes stronger. Letting it happen, accepting it, looking at it like a specimen in a laboratory and letting it go. This is the path of non-resistance. 

For example, your thoughts. They come in thousands and oppress you. Why? Because you don’t WANT them. You fight them, avoid them. In doing this, you are giving them more energy with that extra attention.

What does meditation teach us? To watch the thoughts come and go. To let go of them without internalizing them. Soon, they will reduce and keep reducing with regular practice.

Eventually, such a mind is clear and devoid of distractions. This is also called going with the flow without disturbing it. Some rich dividends accrue with such an attitude to life.

Surekha Kothari

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Spiritual Growth

 If you can separate the ego from the self, your spiritual growth is ensured.

Any hurt, any wound, any anger issues can be attributed to the ego, the “ahankara” within. The self remains untarnished. It is the observer, the non-involved party.

Of course, this is not at all easy, like eating a piece of chocolate. It is nothing less than a complete melt down of all belief systems and all illusions built by the ego. It may feel almost like a rebirth and becoming a new person.

I always point out to myself, that when people use their hearts instead of the ego, the outcome is rich and rewarding to the person who uses love. Love finds a happy niche within us even if it is not reciprocated because the heart is the path to the divine energy.

Look around the world today and see fear ruling everywhere. Not love. The ego can only generate more fear. And where there is the rule of fear, love finds it difficult to step in.

This is for each of us to reflect on. Surely, we don’t want fear in our lives. Then, why have we learnt to live with this mind of compromise?

Surekha Kothari

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RISE in love

Most of us are in love with the idea of love. I have a terrific blind spot when the phrase “falling in love” is voiced.

We need to “RISE in love”.

Love is a commitment to YOURSELF. It is not an emotion that is given away easily and withdrawn as easily. 

Our knowledge of anyone is initially at best, superficial. Maybe, better in the years to come. But yet, never complete because everyone changes and keeps changing, including us. The same person you knew and developed feelings for is not that person today and will not be tomorrow. And this applies to you and all of us as well.

Then how does a relationship survive? On this very understanding. On acceptance of that change. On loving the actual person WITH this constant change.

We must understand that each one of us has different reactions to the same episode. And our psyche keeps changing differently.

Depth comes into a relationship only in time and with indulging the idiosyncrasies of each other and smiling at them. Becoming each other’s best friends.

Provided we give it enough time for a real friendship to develop.

Surekha Kothari

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Circumstances

 I can shout from the rooftop for the external world, that I am right. But suppose you look within yourself and realize that you were wrong?

What would you do?

Camouflage the truth and shout louder?

Admit to yourself and still be in silent denial

Or

Have the courage to admit AND acknowledge AND rectify.

This catharsis is a huge part of my workshops and talks. We don’t point a finger at ourselves. It is easier to blame the other person or circumstances.

It is like blaming the river, the oars when your boat capsizes because you did not know how and where to steer it.

Every day, we face situations and challenges and we constantly point outwards. Our coping mechanism is damaged because examination of anything starts from within.

Does our conscience speak to us? Or have we stopped listening?

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

 

Perceptions

Life has taught me not to compare and not to lament over what is not. A difficult journey if you live on expectations.

But clinically speaking, you cannot compare because everyone has different challenges. We are not aware of their intensity and what people go through behind that mask for the world. So, thinking someone else is better off than us may not be a correct assumption. Therefore, comparisons can make us unhappy because of our own limited perceptions.

On the other hand, we all have blessings we need to be aware of and be grateful for. If this gratitude begins to pervade our thoughts, there won’t be any room for complaints. And we may let go of what was not meant to be. Despite this, life gives us plenty even if it is in other ways than what we expected from it.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

 

Self-Realization

The phrase “attack is the best form of defense” does not come from a good place.

The fact that defense IS required implies a wrongdoing. The following attack on the victim to defend the wrongdoing by turning tables on the innocent party then becomes a double whammy.

This is the best way to escalate the increasing distances. And the absence of learning to admit the wrong doing and rectify it.

But look around you. Such acts of self-realization are almost non-existent. It is as if an admission of having done wrong will incriminate the person in front of people.

I feel the reverse is true.  It is the bigger person who acts with humility and understands what was done was not correct. And learns not to take such paths in future.

That’s why it is never wise to use that phrase “attack is the best form of defense”. It comes from a place of defiance, not grace.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

 

Law of Resonance

There seems to be a lot of ostracization and marginalization of people in society today. A wrong set of practices has taken over from the earlier respect and acceptability quotients related to people and relationships.

Money, fame and power having the illusory notion of status is probably responsible.

But spiritually and as per the Law of Resonance, it is important to remember that in doing so, we have also marginalized ourselves. And we have also become ostracized from our own wholesomeness.  Because integration is the inherent nature of wholesomeness, and marginalizing others is reflected deep within our dark spaces where we need illumination.

Surekha Kothari

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www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/