Past Grievance

It is hard when you do things for a return. Because however well intentioned, the outcome is NOT in our hands.

I have seen that a clean heart and a pure intention does find a response from the universe though. Not necessarily from the person who we directed the action to.

There is a huge reason here. There is also a karmic issue and need for resolution here. If both are healed from the past, the outcome will be positive. But if one has cleared the heart and one is holding on to past grievances, the outcome may not be a desirable one. And we don’t decide that.

So, your expectations don’t decide the nature of the outcome. But the good and pure intentioned heart WILL get a reward from the universe. In other ways.

This is why it is said, do a good deed and leave it to the universe.

This is not merely a theory but a time tested truth. An experience that words may fall short in describing.

Surekha Kothari

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Cosmetic World

Those parents who try to shield information of the dark side of life from their children, maybe doing a great disservice to them.

We do not live in a cosmetic world. To teach children to be positive is great but the lesson actually is to be positive in negative situations and while dealing with negative people.

Most of us change according to how we are treated. Not wise. Why do we change our core attitudes if we value them? How does it matter if others behave in different ways?

We don’t have to become a yoyo, oscillating from one extreme to another. Reacting to every situation, trying to be who we are not.

Balance is in the middle, the Centre. If we are centred, we are ok. It is a good reminder day to day. There are always cases where we do lose our Centre and so, must keep this in mind.

Surekha Kothari

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Unconditional Love

Most people do not understand unconditional love! People who are actually capable of this stand isolated.

Such people generally give naturally. They are not people pleasers. Neither are they expecting applause for what they do. It is their intrinsic nature.

But this breed is rare. And THAT is the issue. People are so lacking in trust and so full of the ego insecurities, they tend to shun even the genuine ones around them.

But the genuineness of truth of people who CAN love without expectations has to go through fire or just wait for this truth to reveal itself.

And no, such people are not even looking for certificates. And yes, they have to guard against manipulation. Today, the more you give , the more is demanded of you . And you become emotionally depleted if you don’t protect yourself.

The irony is, we would rather shower love on a pet dog than on each other. Though dogs are very loveable, and give you the very unconditional love that you don’t accept from a human being.

Strange, isn’t it?

Surekha Kothari

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www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Untraveled Path

Building awareness is painful. It awakens you from a deep slumber you have been indulging in triggered by early conditioning. It starts at home when the belief systems of elders is superimposed on your innocent childlike minds. And you take them as the gospel truth. The “respect worthy “elders mould you, give you their identity, expect you to fulfil their unfulfilled desires and expect you to keep up their image in society. Whatever it takes away from you it does not matter.

Later, with awareness building in you, you now notice that you have to unlearn so many things you never doubted before.

That new awareness will change you and change the environment around you too. You will have to step out of your comfort zone and face new challenges, connect with people who are like you are now, leave many past memories and people who don’t work in your life anymore, to move onto new pastures.

You know now why repeated patterns appear! When you are not ready to face the pain of that new awareness. When you are unable to have the courage. When the “known “engulfs you because the untraveled path brings fear of the unknown. So, you do the comfortable things and get the same results. Nothing new / inspiring/ challenging appears in life till the end. Something to think about.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Precious Time

When you have been deprived of loving relationships yourself, it is truly agonizing to see people who have them but who destroy them.

You will find several people in this world who will be around you for different reasons. Some valid.  Some not so valid.

But those who have been in your life forever and with whom you have had happy memories are already strong in love for you. Childhood bonds persist. I have also seen close people having misunderstandings and going away from each other, only to return even years later. And i think, “what a waste of precious time”.

The fact is, the close ones have the power to hurt your maximum. Due the very love you hold in your heart.

The amount we live in fear can be totally reduced if we love and support each other during our lives. Bonds built in childhood are strong. Ask someone who never had them! How difficult life can be!

 I look around and find so many egos consuming people, that they have lost the art of loving, giving love precedence over small issues magnified to a point of no return.

And I think, “what a waste of precious time!”

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Knowledge

It would be surprising if anyone did not change with time and experiences. However, there are exceptions to every rule.

To my mind, those who don’t change are holding on to the past, consumed by their ego and do not learn the lessons that come to them on a daily basis.

It is easy to advise others but very difficult to ACT on your own advice.

Observing yourself will make you smile often at yourself and your actions, knowing that they were quite meaningless. And we indulged in them nevertheless. When we target others, we also become victims to our own misdeeds. And this knowledge can cure us forever and keep us from any kind of conflict.

I certainly would not want my anger to corrode into ME when I am venting. But it does come back to me. AND harms me. Likewise, why would I project ANY negative emotion if I knew that the outcome would be damaging for me?

It just doesn’t seem to make sense.  We do have to make our mistakes to learn the lessons. But after that, it would be foolish if we think we have a choice and so, need not learn the lessons.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Exhaustion

There is a consistent pattern of intolerance in families that seems to be so inconsistent with the theory that love develops when you spend your young life together. You share, you care, you fight and make up easily, have elders watching you and looking out for you until we learn to look out for each other. How can we cut such cords of relationships that were no fluke? They were pre-ordained for a reason.

One of the worst emotions we end up harboring is resentment. This is a very debilitating emotion which speaks of hurts becoming wounds over an escalation of small issues becoming large over time.

It is like carrying home the image of the villain from a movie you have seen and not recognizing that it was just a character played for a while. In real life also, this is true. We act out of reaction, impulse, complexes but continue to judge such episodes of interaction when the very same people are so much more than their superficial action. AND they change according to their learning.

I cannot repeat enough times that our exhaustion does not come from gym too hard. It comes from the excess baggage of our emotions, of messed up relationships that we carry on our back which we refuse to let go. We trap our own energy and complain of exhaustion! When we ourselves are responsible.

Many people argue that they are fine, in fact, relieved that connections have been severed. Remember They are not healed though. And unhealed versions of humans walking this earth are unhappy people. We must unlearn resentment, relearn how to love again if we want healing.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/