Comfort Zone

 Ideally, we should gravitate towards people and experiences that will teach us and help us grow and evolve. But idealistic situations often remain just that: an ideal. They require a complete turn around from the superficial to the meaningful. They require sacrificing comfort for elevation. Yes, the two cannot go together.

If you stay on land and dream of conquering mountains, well there is no tax on dreaming but that is all it will be an unrealized dream.

Living in and around comfort zones is more for the weak hearted. And I don’t necessarily refer to climbing mountains here. I mean shaking yourself out of anything you find yourself settling into on a long term basis. At least, going beyond it once in a while, gaining new experiences and then maybe, returning to that comfort zone for a while.

I know the world is not always an easy place but it was never meant to be ! It is up to you to gain and lose according to who you are and what you can become or want to become or not!

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Self-Destructive

“Letting go” is more a philosophical statement than a genuine attempt for most people. Sounds wise on the lips. But without any meaning if not practiced. The phrase is not meant to be just spoken about.

These are all personal practices for ourselves. We live in a family, in a community where there WILL be a wear and tear of emotions and feelings and even reactions in the name of being “human”. But instead of harboring the adversely affecting emotions, can we let go of them immediately as they arise? Knowing that they are harmful to us and no one else? Or do we come under the category of “self-destructive”?

Actually, we have a tendency to get into conflict, retaliate, get hurt, shun people and ultimately, lose relationships. And ironically, we are the ones who have suffered on that emotional see saw without seeing any change whatsoever in the people we have conflicted with, except blame for us.

The question I always ask myself is: would I carry a burning coal in my hands just because someone gave it to me? Obviously NOT!

But in many ways, we ARE carrying grouses within us, which are like carrying burning coals, which come from others because we don’t have the wisdom to LET GO. We are unable to focus on what is good for our mental health and peace of mind. And therein lies our core of restlessness and frustration.

When maturity finally dawns, we are able to laugh at ourselves at our earlier foolishness. And we automatically start to let go of the unnecessary burdens we carry.

Learning to discard and delete does not have to be learnt from AI. We have our own super intelligence we could use if we lessened our dependence on the opinions of others and delved into our own common sense department within our intelligence bank.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Sense of Detachment

 Have you reached a state of being when you don’t want to engage with people? Nor explain yourself, period! Nor want to be a part of a madding crowd that speaks of nothing and everything. And you feel an inner silence enveloping you combined with a strange sense of detachment of what is happening outside of you. That abuse from those who have some grouses is just amusing!

Well, I wish you all that this year will bring you to this state of calm and peace. Our journey is inward. Or should be if it isn’t as yet.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Emotional Crisis

LOSS is the most intense of feelings and the emotions attached to it are heart rending. It does not have to be through death only. It can be the breakup of very valuable relationships. Or the severance of a part of the body even. Emotional crisis can be equally painful.

How to DEAL with loss! When suddenly, its memory triggers when we are trying to cope with life. We live with it.

One of the biggest loss is when you lose yourself in the midst of facing rejection, indifference and marginalization. Others can make you feel that you are a zero when YOU have accepted that you ARE a zero.

We deal with this from time to time. Some see light after a while but some can sink into a massive loss of self-esteem, see only darkness everywhere and CAN end their lives.

I have realized that birth here is definitely to learn plenty of lessons but apart from that, has also an implication of a certain demotion due to our karmic actions. That’s why we are here, without knowing the vastness of who we are, and working with our petty selves, judging, conflicting, hurting, killing and so on.

 

 

And that is also why very few consciously expand their awareness and their own consciousness and live in their little ponds of comfort.

They prefer to fail and fail in the same class rather than work hard to seek promotion. Because they are used to it. It is a known place.

After all, what is this life if also not a school? What we end up learning in one lifetime is a question we must ask ourselves.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Sense of Humility

Holding space for someone else is the ultimate act of kindness. There is always a danger to end up strengthening your ego by attaching yourself to tags. Like kind, spiritual, helpful etc. Are we cultivating a sense of humility or are we talking about it to everyone willing to listen, and also with an attempt to impress? That is EGO attachment. And culminating in arrogance very often.

There are people who are quietly philanthropic. You never know how silently they act. These are genuine souls who don’t seek praise.

Life is all about carving out who we want to be at the end of the day.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Privilege

There are moments of grief and moments of happiness for all souls. When we feel good, we want to hold that space forever. But often, it is only as steady as a house of cards. Until the next event arrives with its challenges.

Hopefully, instead of making our minds like a yoyo, we learn to learn to modify our thoughts and reactive patterns.

Personally, I have learnt that the position of an observer is the best. Let everything happen outside of you, observe, analyze and let go of what can be damaging, if internalized.

Maintaining the inner calm and peace against all odds makes you a role model. Because you have followed the ultimate teaching of being a “drashta”, an observer. Very difficult but a totally liberating learning, if achieved.

Having said this, humans are flawed. It is not easy to develop lofty ideals overnight. We are creatures of habit and the body of our thoughts has been trained to think and act as per our comfort level. The concepts of right and wrong have been diluted because that would mean overhauling your internal system and doing that is exhausting for most.

Within this context, wisdom is to streamline your life, retaining the people around who care and lend to each other’s happiness quotient as much as possible to counteract the oppressing circumstances that we all inevitably have to face as our karma keeps unfolding and throws challenges at us constantly.

This is HOPE and this is LIGHT. And this is the privilege and power to ascend.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Perspective

Gradually, over a period of time, you lose the stars in your eyes that you had when you were younger, and you acquire a more realistic perspective.

The mother of all perspectives is one that says, anything directed towards you is not FOR you. Any negativity thrown at us only speaks of how much work is required to be done by the people who would like to decorate us with their negativity on themselves.

Wisdom comes with a lot of intense pain, from experiences, conducive to growth or challenges to be met while remaining true to your own personality.

Justifying negatives, yours or someone else’s is like sinking your feet deeper into a quagmire.

Be like the sun which is constant even behind clouds. It does not diminish its light under any circumstances. It does not react to clouds covering it.

When sense dawns, everything superficial fades away. And what is left is the essence of us, our souls!

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari