Performance

Looking back, all of us have been trained to “perform” for others. Be it for ambitious parents or the teachers and examiners who are in charge of assessing your “Performance”. Or, competing with others.

Are we ever given the perspective that maybe WE ARE the examiners of our own lives? That everything that happens is OUR responsibility? That we compete with ourselves to become better and better? Taking ownership of every thought, speech and every action works magic. Because it takes away blame and attention from other people’s reactions and brings them back to our own assessment of ourselves.

It takes two to tango for conflict. If, however, the conflict is with oneself, we can correct ourselves. Which we cannot do with others.

How else can personal growth be achieved?

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

 

Mind Tool

Every night, in sleep, there is no “I”. Every morning, the “I” wakes up. And starts conflicting with the genuine “me”. The fact is, life flows without the “I”. You have to just merge with the experience around you. But then, the “I” comes in to recreate that experience. But the “I” by its own nature, creates duality. Because now there is a duality, the magic of living the experience is gone.

The “I” is just a phantom but it controls your life. It is just noise that invades your being. This is when you start asking questions about who is the “I”. It is an empty shell. There is no “I”. It is only awareness, a consciousness.

WE are the consciousness. And the burden of being somebody, of wanting to make this “I” person a better one, is the ego which disappears within the consciousness of who we actually are. If we let it.

The mind is not an enemy. It is innocent. It just does what it was designed to do. You allow a dog to bark, and not punish it. But when thoughts arise, we think they are intruders. The problem is the idea about how the mind should be.

Thoughts will arise. Memories will come. Our relationship with the mind is faulty. An enlightened person just watches thoughts. But we get involved with every thought. And they mix with the “I”.

And if “I” am not good enough, then that thought becomes toxic. And you end up acting negatively.

YOU create the drama around a thought. Otherwise the thought would just arise and pass.

The mind is a wonderful tool. It enhances our experiences and learning. The knots are created by US.

Think about it!

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

 

Self-View

The problem is not the thought. Then problem is with identification with that thought. When you BECOME that thought, you are pouring your ideas, beliefs, prejudices AND your self-view into it. The result is a polluted thought which ends up as conflict.

The biggest mistake we make is to accept a thought indiscriminately instead of watching it and letting it go. Just the way you don’t hold on to a passing breath, to rain, to a storm.

Be aware of the “illness” clinically. Let it meet your consciousness and disappear. What is left is thee wholesomeness of you which was always there.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

 

Relationships

There are always those who understand and those who misunderstand. Sometimes, you lose relationships because you DON’T understand.

You are in danger of losing those who are closest to you because emotions run high. AND a small episode can trigger massive hurt. 

It is really time to understand that there are bigger issues in life and keeping those small episodes burning in your mind is unhealthy for you and your damaged relationships.

The irony is that it takes years sometimes, for the emotions to wear off, leaving the mind clear and able to think clearly again and for the affection to surface once more.

It is a wise person who can recognize that extinguishing fires can restore the balance in relationships. Igniting them can destroy them.

Often, we end up supporting the wrong cause and for the wrong reasons. That is a dark corner within us that we need to address.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Truth and Lies

Half the time, we are not aware that we are indulging in half-truths and justifying it. The mind does not want to accept this.

Truth and lies are always cloaked in personal likes and dislikes. We are blind to lies when uttered by someone we like. And we will believe it too. But if truth comes from a person we are not fond of, we would rather believe it is a lie.

We live within our minds everyday with such complexities which are most damaging to ourselves! And yet, we continue living this way. 

A few such episodes later, we are bound to feel a sense of unease, as if something is not right. That is the inner voice trying to inspire reflection. If I don’t see what I am doing, then a repeated pattern of repeated mistakes will result in unsavory outcomes.

Has this been your truth? The half-truth or half a lie?

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Ignorance

Have you noticed how many times we tell others not to worry and that “this too shall pass?” But the moment something irks US, we hold on and on to it till doomsday and it does NOT pass. We take it to the next life even. So intense is our ego state.

But the day wisdom dawns will come the realization that the “I” is enslaving you with spinning your story to coerce you into playing victim. Which is completely myopic.

Actually, nothing is permanent in this world and everything keeps changing in form. That is the natural flow as everything passes. It does!

So why do we want to swim upstream? In ignorance and Just to satisfy the “I” which has no substance when we realize everything is connected to one another. We just never rise above all the drama to learn more meaningful aspects of who we really are and how misled a life we are leading.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

 

Moment of Light

Have you thought about what you can do for yourself? Taking help from professionals is one thing but learning what you are doing against your natural flow is another.

It is an absolute illusion that we are in control of our lives. Life is a river-like flow. Trying to control its flow is trying to do the impossible. This tendency comes from fear, from the idea of separation because our ego does not feel the connectivity in the universe. The concept of “unity in diversity” is a very deep concept which we apply superficially.

When the heart is open and love flows, it blends in with the natural flow of life. That’s how it should be.

Wherever there is the energy of separation, there will be hurt and pain. LET IT GO. And fill the space with love and compassion. See how your life can change when you do this.

In relationships, when there is love, we smile at the quirks of one another instead of judging their actions. Love makes you the bigger person but often, you don’t want to be the bigger person. Letting go does not come easy but once it does, let me know what it does for you.

I have experienced that moment of light a few times.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/