Tuesday 31 January 2017
Form of dharma
When we speak of dharma, we generally get a mixed bag definition:
rituals, duties, religion etc. And the result is confusion. Because dharma is
not any one of these. If anything divides human beings, it absolutely cannot be
dharma.
The core of dharma in its true sense lies in each one of us.
HONESTY: we might get cynical here because we see very
little honesty today. And yet, it is our core because, when thinking about it,
who can accept and actually like dishonesty? Which means honesty IS our core.
WORK/ ACTIVITY: Movement and change are two constants.
Activity is our second core. We need to give it direction but all humans have
act ..that is, keep moving . It is inevitable.
CLEANLINESS: an inevitable measure of dharma. To clean not
only the body but the thoughts, the mind and emotions, ego as well as our
environment.
KINDNESS: to care selflessly. Help people in need without
wanting to be on page 3. On human, compassionate grounds.
Irrespective of your religion, any other identities you
might have, all the four points mentioned constitute your inner core as a human
being. And if all of us started understanding and practicing this form of
dharma, there would come a time when all humans of whichever religion, caste,
creed would happily and harmoniously share space, love and peaceful progress.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Monday 30 January 2017
Tradition
It is pretty awesome to see joint families living in harmony
even today, respecting all the relationships within and giving space to each
person while connecting wisely. I have to share this true story of a gujrati
family where 80 to 85 members live, united and caring of each other. You will
wonder...HOW is it possible? Let me say this. The seeds of such living are
planted very early, with traditions, principles and values in place, too. Every
member, therefore, knows only this way of life which can't be faulted really.
If only all humanity could learn to live this way, with a give and take of
love, harmony and wisdom! The philosophy is, live like a well oiled machine
which is highly productive. The members are the parts of the machine and the
oil is the love, understanding, caring and generosity, all of these looked upon
as love based generations.
So, this family has one large home where only the parents
live now. They have been wise enough to give every child another home as they
got married. But, there is only one kitchen, the one in the parental home. All
the ladies have to take over and share the administration of the kitchen in
turns. Any guest has to come only to the main home. If one member's business
takes a knock, the others compensate for the loss and support that member.
What would you call this? Unconditional love? Duty
consciousness? The upbringing? Genuine emotions for each other? It is so
uplifting to even think of such an existence. I love this story because I grew
up in a joint family, though in a smaller set up, but have seen these emotions
at work and have been a recipient as well. Today, when I see so much artifice
in society, I like to dwell on this story. It has the power to make me
instantly happy.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Wednesday 25 January 2017
Tuesday 24 January 2017
Compulsions
How many compulsions we have to deal with in life on a
regular basis! A lot of energy is lost if we look at them as necessary evils.
To HAVE to do something against our wishes needs an instant infusion of extra
energy in the form of mustering up a little more enthusiasm than we actually
want at that point.
There is heaviness and reluctance and a need to just become
invisible so that there is no compulsion foisted on us.
But actually, that compulsion could be pushing us towards
new experiences which we would be deprived of otherwise. It is like not wanting
new experiences and getting caught in a limited space because we are
comfortable there.
I have realized this fact. And
each time I have surrendered to compulsions, I have gained in one way or
another. Rather than avoid them and miss out on a piece of life. It could be
that the universe wants us to have that experience and that may be the right
time for it. And maybe, we would emerge wiser, better and happier in the
bargain.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Sunday 22 January 2017
Friday 20 January 2017
Thursday 19 January 2017
Wednesday 18 January 2017
Tuesday 17 January 2017
Perfect
No one is perfect. All that we can do is try to work towards
getting better by the minute. It is not about how much we hurt. It is about how
much we can heal that hurt...and better still, how we can avoid getting hurt.
With the right understanding.
The more we identify with our body, our thoughts, emotions,
the less we are aware that we are far beyond these.
So, it is first about knowing who we are not. Where is the
hurt registering? Who is feeling that hurt? Why the hurt at all? We don't dwell
on these important questions. If we did, we would come to some understanding
about ourselves. The confusions in our lives are very much connected here.
The basic fact is that we get involved in the emotions of
the characters we play in the drama of life. And we forget that we are only
playing a character. We take everyone and everything too seriously, getting
caught in the illusory web of permanence.
Do we know that there is a little watchman within us called
"Drashta" that watches every thought, every emotion, every action and
reaction. And this drashta wants us to become an observer with it, to help
understand all of these matters of our spiritual reality. A reality which can't
be perceived while we are in it, with all the burden of baggage that we carry.
Let
us be free from all that. Let us not worry about being perfect. Let us just try
to be better humans and better spirits. The rest will follow...
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Wednesday 11 January 2017
Spiritual wisdom
If you have the blessings and teachings of a Satguru, you
are indeed blessed. My guru who is staying with us for a few days is one who
lights my path and shows me a direction that is so illuminating and
enlightening that I feel very lucky to have met him on the path that he walks.
For the non believers and for those who live mostly within
the external framework of this world, I can only say, once you receive and
experience the nectar of spiritual wisdom, your transformation will not find
adequate words which will succeed in describing that experience.
Of course, we need to work in our external environment, too,
while on this earth. What we end up doing is working more here and less within
our inner world. Symbolically, the stories of our gods and goddesses also show
us the path of balance between these two aspects of us.
So, you see different aspects
of Krishna: as a householder, warrior, loyal friend and a "paramatma"
at the same time. There are messages at every step for us if we can decode
them, of being multi faceted and being aware of our alignment with the
collective consciousness. The journey is very exciting, with a new lesson
through a new perspective of an already learnt lesson or new knowledge,
acquired this moment , illuminating every minute of our lives…
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Tuesday 10 January 2017
Monday 9 January 2017
Patience
Karma! The ideal balance of
performing karma is that on one hand, have limitless patience and on the other,
don't perform your karma with an eye towards the results. That is called
"Samatva” of karma.
Secondly, if you accept the
karma as a doer, the positivity or negativity also becomes yours. For example,
a fisherman kills fish to sell and feed his family. It is his work and he never
dwells on the ethics of it. Therefore, his karma is pure. He even dances and
sings when he has had a good catch because there is no thought of any guilt of
killing.
Take another example. You say
something innocently to a friend but that causes some hurt in the friend. You
are unaware until they tell you that you shouldn't have said what you did
because it was hurtful. And you now begin to feel guilty and acknowledge that
you are wrong. This then immediately becomes your karma, because you accepted
it as wrong.
So, karma is completely
intention based. Lord Krishna, therefore, asked humans to surrender all karma
to him. If" I "am not a doer (karta), where is the karma?
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Sunday 8 January 2017
Friday 6 January 2017
Thursday 5 January 2017
Recognize
Confidence! Dressing well and grooming is the first and most
obvious point that comes to mind. When you are looking nice, you feel good and
feel you can take on the world.
But not so for all...in a group, you do see people looking
nice but very uncomfortable nonetheless. They are withdrawn and happier when
people don't address them. I knew someone who was a pro at confidence, thanks
to a book by Dale Carnegie, “How to Win Friends and Influence People". He
was popular and could charm a bird off a tree.
Having said that, is being able to influence people everything?
On the flip side, there are people who read "what do
you say after Hello", too......
Confidence at a deeper level is the result of a deep
spiritual bent of mind, pure thought and unconditional love. When you don't
recognize "loss" at all. Everything is a bonus.
When you reach this state of being, your confidence is
complete and your core strengthened by the day.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
SpeakingtreeBlog:
Wednesday 4 January 2017
Emotional aberrations
Similarly, those who complain of not being able to see are
like those who are drowning in the sea of life. Critical conditions may be
close.
The stereotypes must be attended to. There can also be a
lack of self love here leading to various mental and emotional aberrations. And
not everyone has the awareness or the wisdom to know they should seek help.
Their families sometimes have even less awareness and, in ignorance, do
generate more harm.
So, when you see these
tendencies in people around you, please get wise and seek help for them.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Tuesday 3 January 2017
Monday 2 January 2017
Courage
When someone tells you that you don't have courage or lack
in it, please sit down and introspect very seriously. Because what you may well
be doing is compromising, letting others dominate, not allowing yourself to
move forward in life due to a spate of sacrifices that no one ultimately
remembered...and all this depriving you of the courage you need to strike out
to love yourself, develop your personality, learn to say "no" to
those you have spoilt with too much attention and be your own person.
So, maybe, you HAD the courage all along but never
prioritized on yourself and therefore, subjugated it deliberately in favor of
appeasing those around you and making them comfortable.
When you have a balance, it is when everyone realizes their
limits and stops trying to extract more from people than they SHOULD be giving.
There is a tipping point when caring becomes sacrifice and once too often at
that. Of course, unless there is a very definite reason NOT TO, each person
must show courage to focus on their own goals also, never mind if it does not
suit everyone around or causes some amount of discomfort owing to unwanted
changes...
So, please KNOW why you are
discarding courage and what the trade offs are for you. If the trade off
amounts to your suppression, no one has the right to do this and you may assert
yourself for sure? Analyzing the underlying reasons is most important in
retaining or discarding the courageous aspect of your personality.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
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