Showing posts with label Honesty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Honesty. Show all posts
Sunday, 18 February 2024
Thursday, 25 November 2021
State of confusion
Very often, we are not sure of ourselves. A
state of confusion , perhaps. Be clear in your intentions. WHY you are doing
what you are doing. Very often, we do things grudgingly and are not happy doing
them. This is going against one’s real self. There really isn’t any need.
Honesty to ourselves is most important. Keeps the head and heart clear.
At some stage, all of us will realise that
after going around gaining many experiences , we ultimately come back to
ourselves. And if we don’t, then we have a long way to travel in our journey.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Friday, 8 October 2021
Determination
I have found that creating emotional
distances with people who are a part of your life spells some measure of
weakness and fragility of the mind which may not want to accept its faulty
thinking and dark areas.
Spirituality speaks of being simple and
honest, precisely because both traits are to be internalised into the self
first.
Honesty asks a direct question and in a
simple way. “ are your being honest with yourself?” People think that honesty
means revealing private matters to others. Absolutely not !
If we want to live within our supreme
consciousness, we need to acknowledge with complete honesty, what we need to
change within ourselves. It is a part of self-speak. Nothing to do with others.
Secondly, the more simple we are in our
self speak exercise, the more effective we can be in accepting tge need to
change and the change itself.
I smile with compassion when I see people
obviously uncomfortable about their dark spaces and running away from them. It
never helps ! On the contrary, it complicates your inner self and your
relationships as well.
There is so much to study, analyse and
internalise by meditating on it.
As someone said, unfortunately, there will always be less thinkers who take the trouble to look for their “ is ness”. Others will just hang between the illusory and maybe, mere glimpses of the actual reality.
The awareness, the determination to go
beyond the seen takes time, perhaps a few lives , provided we set the seeker
goals in stone.
So be it !
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Thursday, 9 July 2020
Thursday, 18 June 2020
Honest and Welfare
Why is it that it has become a crime to be
honest and welfare oriented? Very simple! This is the scenario of current times
for the same reason that families are becoming distant.
Too much freedom given, taken or taken
forcefully has, over a period of time, diluted the impact of honesty and
benevolent advice. Today, when freedom has been generally misused to result in
an eclipse of general welfare, the scope of an upward swing would require a
herculean effort from each one of us.
We have always had to be driven towards
that upward swing. We need to be taught to think right. And then maybe, we will
realize how valuable the values that we lost were.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Sunday, 15 March 2020
Positivity
Today, I remember the words of my guru who
said , if a negative person does not let go of negativity, what sense does it
make for a positive person to react negatively to a negative person and become
negative ? A lesson I remember very often. So simple and so logical . And yet,
so difficult .
But by changing some ground rules, one can
achieve much success in retaining one’s positivity. And not get affected.
The first ground rule is to know that you
have to change your dependence on these people for your happy state of mind. In
moments when they may not be happy, they could spill negative vibrations around
you.
The second is to examine yourself. Have you
misunderstood something somewhere ? And started a chain of negativity ?
The third is, is someone else’s negativity
worth getting affected by ?
The fourth is, accept what is beyond your
control. Though this can be very painful sometimes.
And finally, make a vow to yourself that
you will be positive and happy no matter what.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Monday, 18 November 2019
Thursday, 14 March 2019
Thursday, 3 January 2019
The Era of knowledge
This is the era of knowledge predominance,
so much technology, Brilliance etc. But we have not emerged from our decadent
mindsets yet. Look at the kind of "education” our entertainment industry
provides us. We talk about equality, rights of women, leveling out the society,
going back to "family", respecting women (huge one, this!)
Women, even today, are depicted in the
worst ways. Watch an Indian or Pakistani drama (similar people in both countries)
and the most prominent theme is women bashing, subservience and ill treatment
of women, woman against woman (as in mother in law and sister in law),
intrigue, attempt by the family to destroy the daughter in law because of dowry
(sick!) or the obsessive tendencies of the mother in law and sisters in law to
control the "son" of the family...COME ON!
And we talk of changing our world by making
it progressive. We know that generations after generations internalize these
situations, machinations, dangerous and vicious intrigue and vicarious pleasure
at the downfall of others. So much so that we copy reel life and paste it in
real life.
In real life, we may not have women
characters retiring for the night in their finest heavy saris and jewelry but
we do have the masses enjoying all the politics and deviousness in families on
television and don't necessarily forget about them to go into loving and caring
ways with the family, friends and society.
The thinkers say it is their choice to see
what appeals to them and that you can't dictate what should be produced and
aired. But the appeal of exposure to and specially the enjoyment of such
dramas/ serials can be vital to the health of family, community and country, because
they create regressive attitudes and "license to kill" with self
indulgence of every kind. These are people who specialize in herd mentality and
don't have opinions of their own. AND, they idolize actors and juxtapose their
roles in their own lives, the erosion of values, Eve teasing, violations of
women, these gain momentum. But we don't have any forum to exorcise our people
of thinking and behavioral patterns, including a corrupt judiciary and police.
What all are we going to and HOW are we
going to clean up these to add to the “swachh Bharat" endeavor? If insides
are rotting, what cleanliness can we see outside? We will have understood the
wholesome and vast implications of "swachh" first.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Sunday, 12 August 2018
Fear of death
The world today is conspiring to bring fear
into everyone's hearts. The greatest of them is fear of people. We don't feel
safe anywhere. We are unable to trust anyone. Whether family or friends or
strangers, there is a whole lot of uncertainty? The dishonesty and decadence
around humans has reached its peak.
Then, there are also environmental
concerns. Fear of the kind of world we are leaving for the next generations.
Fear of death is huge. Fear of losing wealth,
affluence, success. Losing the limelight...fear, fear, fear...
Fear psychosis rules under the beautifully
masked people. Is there any point in continuing this way? Does it help anyone
and anything? We are unhappy and others are unhappy. Waste of a life if we
can't turn our lives around!
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Sunday, 1 July 2018
Wednesday, 11 April 2018
Tuesday, 6 March 2018
Intelligence
The biggest challenge we humans face is to
keep our thoughts clean. Something or the other always comes in the way of pure
action because thoughts are not so pure.
The way it works is, your thoughts transfer
to your emotions and emotions to decision making followed finally by action.
Naturally then, positive thoughts should be preferred for the entire cycle of
thoughts to action to be positive, too.
I hear many people say they are very
positive among their own groups. It's also like kids who are well behaved
outside but not at home. The cycle of energy breaks this way. You can't have a
half positive and half negative approach. If you are good, you are good, in any
situation.
I see a lot of conditional responses from
people. And that does not make them wholesome personalities. On the contrary, these
are more reactive personalities. If you notice, the day you wake up with a
smile, all goes well and you end up in bed with a smile. It is one happy day.
But on another day, one small unpleasantness can ruin your whole day. Not at
all worth it but it is hard to philosophize and move on at the time.
You can train yourself to give the correct
responses with a fair amount of common sense and intelligence.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Sunday, 11 February 2018
Performances
When we pronounce people as insecure, it is
actually an issue of self esteem. There are immensely talented people who have
not gone anywhere, Reason? Low self esteem leading to a diffidence, often all
through life. Starting with a lack of award winning "performances" in
the eyes of a critical family to self criticism, the journey is very painful.
And then they don't believe those who see their talents and try to encourage
them to look beyond their self image.
On the flip side are average
but very confident people who get past obstacles with their winning ways and
even reach the top. Self esteem was hardly an issue here. But they work hard
for recognition to compensate for their lack of natural talent and a limited
acquired one. At group gatherings, people stand out in both these cases. It is
interesting to watch how some can just take over while the others prefer to
keep quiet despite the ability for coherent and intelligent speech. The mix of
individual and group energy is a case study I enjoy learning from.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Tuesday, 23 January 2018
Consequence
I read somewhere that grief is
unproductive. And frankly, I have to agree at some level. Though grief is the
most intense form of loss, it can also be felt for lesser types of loss in the
larger context. For example, loss of Jewelry would be a lesser loss than the
loss of a loved one. However, it is often very difficult to qualify grief
because it is directly proportionate to the attachment levels. It can be an
extreme form of a deep wound or hurt. A deep disillusionment about a loved
person can result in grief.
What is really the dangerous consequence is
the depression, the loss of hope that could set in. It can lead to mental
disorders of a serious nature. At such times, a strong faith is the only guide
that keeps you going. And the fact that even if there are underlying threads of
grief which are permanent, there can be a recourse to other things which can
engage the mind to disconnect with the grief if we can attempt this.
I try to give myself the advice I give to
clients and that is challenging. It is so easy to guide others but when it
comes to ourselves, don't we often fail to take our own advice?
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Wednesday, 17 January 2018
Monday, 8 January 2018
Wednesday, 13 December 2017
Sunday, 27 August 2017
Cleansing
When
we make attempts with another human being to let bygones be bygones but receive
no reply from there, what does it mean? And I am not referring to crimes, just
small, ego driven differences..
Growing
up, I was always taught that whatever the business with another person, it is
never over until it is over: forgiveness from both sides.
I
feel differently now. During your journey, it is only you who can work on
yourself. Only you can forgive and forget, and become immune and neutral for
your own sake. Of course, if both people can understand and forgive, nothing
like it! But, you are not responsible for anyone's growth but your own.
Cleansing your own energies is your priority. Your choices and freedom of will
are confined only to you. You cannot bring any change in anyone else unless
they do so out of their own free will.
So
many belief systems...so many wrong patterns of thinking! And we don't learn
any better. We wait for the other person to change....just a case of our
ignorant ego that doesn't allow sense to dawn.
So,
there is just one, simple mantra if you have tried but not succeeded in
building the bridge: LET GO....from thoughts because thoughts form memories and
we store memories instead of letting go.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Wednesday, 21 June 2017
Excitement
There
is great joy in recognizing that things happen just at the right time, not OUR
right time but its own right time. When things happen, they happen like magic.
If we stop expecting and suffering in anticipation.
Look
back and think when this may have happened in your life. Your wish list has
many items on hold. Not happening. And suddenly, without notice, one of them
just fructifies and leaves you breathless and amazed!
If
you want to keep your excitement in life, just keep working to fulfill as many
items on your wish list as possible. And enjoy the ones that happen. Leave the
rest without hankering after them.
I
learnt this from my games apps that I play. I spend days and months to complete
one level. And suddenly, a single try on one particular day and hey presto! I
have done that level!!!
It
is the excitement of the journey that will take you forward. You inevitably
will go on to the next level and the same sense of fun starts all over again.
Surekha
Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)