Monday 31 January 2022
Accepting and Expecting
We have to leave everyone to heal at their
own time and of their own accord. It used to be possible at one time to heal
through frank communication. And clearing the mind of any residue feelings of
negativity. I guess, no more ! There is more possibility of making it worse by
talking …
Two similar sounding but diametrically
opposite words are two ends of the spectrum: Accepting and expecting.
The first assists in moving forward. The
second can bog you down pretty badly because your well being lies with someone
else or something else . And you lose that much control.
We live in a world of time, space and
causation. Accepting means giving time and space and waiting for the causes to
fade from memory. Then healing happens.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Friday 28 January 2022
Celebration
For some , life is a celebration. For others, it is a burden to be dragged till its end. For some others, it is a present for personal evolution, for reflection and for healing.
In all of these conditions, what makes a
difference is the passion and attitude with which we decide to live out our
years. Of course, grace and forbearance are vital.
But when
you see little ones with eyes full of despair, how do you celebrate with
a clean heart ? Which brings us down to , What then is celebration ?
I would say, making the life of others
better , more bearable. Being there to wipe tears and bring smiles to as many
faces as you can. That is real celebration of your life.
There aught to be little or zero tolerance
for inter personal conflict and ego persistence. Life has a much bigger canvas.
Only from higher spaces can you see this bigger picture. Broadening our
horizons is
a wonderful part of evolution. Failing to
do so is a huge loss.
But each one of us has to realise this. For
ourselves.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Wednesday 26 January 2022
Friday 21 January 2022
Thursday 20 January 2022
Wednesday 19 January 2022
Tuesday 18 January 2022
Kindness and Compassion
Many issues that we deal with during
healing come from early conditioning.
Most parents bring up their children as they want to see them, not as
they are. They are taught likes and dislikes very early. They are taught social
distancing even before they are old enough to understand.
Instead of learning pure and innocent
qualities from children , parents try to teach their children many lessons
which are coloured by their own prejudices, likes and dislikes , even
hatred. Adults dump their own baggage on
the children which is just criminal ! They are already handicapping their
children emotionally and mentally.
This is the reason why parents also don’t
care enough for their own parents. So much lip talk but no genuine caring or
compassion ! It is one thing to lead your own life and another to give back
what you received. But that is forgotten.
I see parents holding their children back
from their grandparents because of their own , often very misunderstood,
personal grouses. It is so unimaginable in an educated society where we are all
meant to understand kindness and compassion which the have nots find to be a
luxury because they are barely surviving.
But… those who live more than comfortably are known to be stuck with an egoistic mind which denies them any sound advice or bringing in the light of human principles to make that shift into humaneness.
The biggest lesson for us today is to
accept this change from earlier times. And the biggest difficulty is also to
suppress love for people who mete out ego based treatment to those who love
them.
The heart needs a lot of healing , away
from the negative ego. The ability to understand someone who loves you within their own karmic challenges
requires a lot of empathy and compassion . Only genuine love can accomplish a
sound relationship. Otherwise, hurt and more hurt awaits around the corner to
fracture relationships and fragment the wholesomeness of a person. Through
constant blame !
As I have always said, we have the freedom
of choice. Either to become simple and understand what life is and how it
should be lived, or feel happy in distancing yourself from the ones that
actually love you,
So much to learn and yet, so much
unnecessary piling of daily baggage !
Humans rarely elevate to a higher
vibration, almost validating the downgrading of humanity itself. We can see
this in what the world is today… only due to the lowest form of human
existence. Everywhere , complexes, hate and vengeful actions dot the skyline
over this world, masked by capsules of sweet words which may be hiding many
undesirable motives in the heart.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Compromise
I have realised that we aught not to ever compromise the lightness of our being. For anyone or anything.
We tend to become heavy whenever we deal
with emotions , triggered by our love concern for others or even by our own
experiences based on our perceptions of ourselves… which trigger our own
reactions. At such times, it is important to step back immediately and examine
the quality of those incoming thoughts.
Yes, we are mostly reacting. Not
responding. A response is a thoughtfully created effect to a cause. This is
what we need. We don’t need a trigger for our negativity to show . We should
know that THAT does not come from a good place. It is in fact, an indication
for which spaces we need to clean up within us.
Like, our constant need to be judgemental
about others when we need that finger pointed towards ourselves. Clean
ourselves to better our image in our own mirror. It’s a single point agenda.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Monday 17 January 2022
Thursday 13 January 2022
Wednesday 12 January 2022
Motivation
A huge realisation that this pandemic has forced into us is , just how much valuable time we have wasted and lost in pursuing just worldly pleasures, if I can call them pleasures in my mistaken sense of perception.
And I don’t mean for a moment that one must
not enjoy life. It is just that our definition of enjoyment has become very
meaningless and unspiritual. We find enjoyment in trivia, meaning that there is
not much value prevalent in certain activities. Trivia that sometimes brings
out the worst in us.
Can I learn to balance my day to include a
balance of these ? It is commonplace to quote,” all work and no play….”. But
that is not accurate in this case.
Seekers of higher truths are few and far
between but if goodness can be brought in within the realm of spirituality,
then that is definitely a start.
Next, we must define goodness. To me, it is
defined by a single line: “do unto others as you would have others do unto
you”. Eliminate double or multiple standards to embark on a rightful path
first.
Think before you dole out anything but goodness, because this is what you also expect from others. So, you cannot superimpose your will on anyone.
But we do it all the time.. people think
they are good but what they do has nothing to do with goodness… all kinds of
reasons and excuses taint our intrinsic goodness. And the worst part is, we
tend to justify our actions all the time.
I would definitely say that if we start
with a little bit of self healing ( and there are innumerable techniques
available) , we can start a process which will certainly benefit us. The
intention is first. Next is motivation and then commitment.
So be it !Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Monday 10 January 2022
Gratitude
Why do we go to a temple or a church ?
There are no two replies to this. We make the effort to go because we feel
good. We say there are beautiful vibrations of so many people having prayed
there for years. The older the temple or church or any other religious place,
the better !
We need to visit these houses of worship
with the awareness that we are actually responding through the inner deity
present with in us which connects to the deity present in a sanctum sanctorium.
This gives a new expansion to prayer.
And yet, that awareness does not stay with
us . The world draws you in the moment you leave the shrine. This is what we
need to train our minds for. Make your day an extension of your prayers. We
only have the present moment. So, we need to use every present moment to keep
the divine in the forefront so that we are able to look at every person and
situation in a positive light. To know that it comes for a purpose and to nudge
us to move towards the divine presence within us.
I love this line, which comes from a quote
by Melodie Beattie:
"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend."
And I would add this thought — that without
gratitude, you can turn any paradise into hell.
Without gratitude, every choice you ever
made will always feel like the wrong choice.
Without gratitude, summers will always be
too hot; winters will always be too cold.
The music will always be too loud, the
movie will always suck, the teenagers will always be too rude.
Without gratitude, people who vote or
worship differently from you will always be monsters in your eyes.
Without gratitude, you will always feel you
were born into the wrong family.
Without gratitude, the waitress will always
be too slow, and you will always get the worst seat on the bus. Without
gratitude, every driver on the road except you is an idiot.
Without gratitude, life is A Misery.
The alchemy of all alchemies —is gratitude.
Even if we learn nothing else, we must
learn how to say THANK YOU and Stay blessed forever
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Friday 7 January 2022
Spiritual path
The most difficult exercise on the
spiritual path is being indifferent to people’s words and actions.
You can see their intention , to hurt, to
throw barbs for various reasons , to insult , to put you down , to wound you in
which ever way they can …. Quick reactions are so normal , though they should
not be.
The other day, I was asking my almost
eight year old grandson, “ do you become
a donkey if someone says you are one?” He laughed sheepishly but he understood.
These kids are very mature .
So, the long and short of it is, let all
such speech and action fall off your energy body because internalising these
meaningless negativities is just not desirable for the self.
So, when we speak of “Sama bhaav a”, or
balance or neutrality, it also implies a certain indifference to these episodes
and such people around you.
Please notice , I said AROUND you. Never let
these get INSIDE of you . Buddha spoke of suffering. The body will be diseased,
will die and bodily suffering therefore, is a reality.
But why would we suffer due to our own
ignorance, our own choices to feel the negativities of others in OUR system?
We can flinch from just venomous words. We
could also flinch from waves of envy and hate exuding from people. But , having
been exhausted by such reactions, when the immunity enters us , we are able to look at , to observe that
everything is powerless unless WE give it the power through our attention.
Suddenly, we can smile at all of that and we find we are free !
Ignore with calmness , knowing that we are
incapable of getting affected and rise in our vibrations to leave the space of
such low vibrations.
Sounds like a eureka moment, doesn’t it ?
But… far from it ! It takes a lot of courage and energy to leave that space
because, in leaving that space, we leave many people behind as well.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Thursday 6 January 2022
Wednesday 5 January 2022
Obsessive energy
The traditional thought is that this world
needs thinkers . True, but with a clause attached , that they should also be
positive thinkers. Otherwise, I would be happy with seeing positive people
rather than thinkers gone wrong.
Isnt it amazing that convictions wear the
garb of brain washing ever so often ? Millions are being brainwashed by a few
distorted minds harbouring unholy intentions but speak so convincingly of a
case for destruction that thinkers themselves are swept away into misled
convictions !
This is the most dangerous trend yet
because the darkness of such obsessive energies can engulf the world and wipe
all goodness and all virtue clean .
At what point does such a phase change ? And after how much devastation
does good sense finally dawn ? And when do peace and tolerance finally prevail
over self inflicted pain and turmoil within individuals that spreads like wild
fire and envelops the masses ?
I wish someone knew !
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Monday 3 January 2022
Process of discovery
We talk so randomly about the “realities”
of life, when we are not in the least aware of what is “real” and what just
appears to be “real”.
Knowledge, specially ultimate knowledge
about reality is accepted Sometime
piecemeal, sometimes partially and very , very rarely , completely. The latter
is evidently a seeker. Others may pooh pooh the knowledge which doesn’t at all
suit their comfort level.
In any case, everything is cyclical. So,
you can go round and round for many births. Growth is when you break out of
that cycle to explore what lies beyond.
Reality is beyond the appearance of it,
which is not reality but falsity. We live within this falsity which appears to
be real to us within our body and mind consciousness.
We have not explored our vastness and our
life is moving towards completion each day.
The awareness has to set in for the process
of discovery to kick in.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
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