Quote of the day

 

Quote of the day

 

Judgement

 Human beings struggle with their deep insecurities and a lot of fear. On this base, they create need based relationships which they give titles to, like “friendship”. There is seldom any trust and faith. There is more judgement on how we can put our best foot forward to retain this quality of bonhomie. And fear that one wrong word or action can remove you from the relationship. If we cannot find comfort in an association, will it last? Perhaps only if we agree to keep paying a price with our own self. And that becomes painful after a point.

I think there is loneliness in groups today because we cannot be our authentic selves and pretense and compromise become very exhausting. So exhausting that sometimes, we ourselves want to distance ourselves from joining group activity. The same goes for one to one relationships. Nothing can endure without faith and trust. Can it? Can we re-establish our base then, to faith and trust?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

 

Consideration

 

I always wondered why love is considered its own reward. We are so steeped in the thought that love has to be reciprocated with love, that, in any relationship, we start anticipating receiving it in return for our gift of love.

Expecting love is killing the feeling of love in our hearts. There can’t be a display of love. It really dwells in our heart. And does not fluctuate based on a return.

That genuine feeling that is felt as an energy rather than awaiting quantification and calculation. Even a measure of 0 to 10 cannot state the quality and depth of love. The levels of intensity have no precise measure and this is the beauty of unfolding it so that it gives us an abundance of joy. Never mind if no one understands. It is not a matter of reaction but of defining us.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

 

Wisdom

We want to end things when we cannot tolerate them! But wisdom dictates that nothing ever ends/ finishes. Like the sun is always a reality. It only gets hidden by clouds sometimes. We only “see “things as going or disappearing. They don’t.

As long as the seeds remain, there is a possibility for them to grow back, be it belief systems, relationships or anything else.

And destroying the seeds is certainly a superhuman effort. There are too many desires still lurking in our sub conscious mind and to destroy their seed itself takes a saintly life. And even then, I am told that even they may also not succeed completely.

The light and dark play will always be there. The attempt to bask under the light is our choice. It is difficult to live life without a question paper. Guess work may not work. Knowing will. How many of us are willing to strive towards this knowing during our lifetime?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Patience

 I was just reading about patience. We live in the days of instant coffee. We are not in touch with principles of nature. If we liked gardening, we would understand that we can only plant seeds. They have a natural plan for healthy growth. They take time and we need patience.

Nurturing patiently! It could be anything from a plant to a relationship to success of any sort.

It takes nine months for a child to be born. Patience!

Relationships can be turbulent over turbulent waters. But patience can calm the storms. Every situation changes and keeps changing. We need to be steady, balancing the extremities. We need patience. As they say, Rome was not built in a day.
Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Emotion

 

Warm Hearts for cold storage!

Very late in the day have I discovered the reasons why people prefer to be superficial and sweet tongued. While outlooks have been changing rapidly and hearts are not being understood anymore, it would be fatal for relationships to be looked at naively or taken for granted!

No words that express the feelings in your heart are worth expressing actually. You know the saying, what you say (with feeling) and what the others understand don’t match. While you are saying something, with underlying feelings, it is being understood in a completely different manner, often, creating distances which were never meant to be. Keep the heart for yourself and “art” for the world.

You have just got to develop the art of saying what people want to hear. Period. It does not matter if you are family, growing up together, or friends/acquaintances. You must know how to use your words clinically so that they cannot be remotely misunderstood! Even as I say this, is that even possible?

We seldom succeed in connecting emotionally. It is mostly about “me” and “I”. And of course, about keeping in touch with people as per our needs. Very few exceptions can be seen.

It boils down to being simple but clever in the ways of the world. Managing/ manipulating or whatever works! But no expectations on anyone really understanding you.

So, better know yourself to see how words affect you and admit that you can also feel the in pact of words, not to mention tone of voice!

Even the voiceless WhatsApp can be lethal because there are only words there! We could be missing someone and saying this may boomerang badly! It may be seen as pushing someone who cannot see the love inherent in the missing. So, you see, sometimes, there is no winning here!

People withdrawing from people for such reasons is rampant! Who has the time today, to listen to heartbeats?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

 

Inner world

Brooding and overthinking has to be replaced by conscious thought. Only then can we progress in our quest for meditation to improve our minds and move towards discovering our inner worlds.

Let thoughts come and go. Let relationships come and go. If we can just watch these without either getting involved in them, reacting or forcing them, they will follow a natural pattern and leave us.

Total awareness should be experienced as it is, totally! We cannot let US displace its energy. It is like a butterfly sitting on our shoulders while we let it, without moving.

Stillness of our being is the answer. For everything. Daily occurrences are like the waves that come and go. We, the ocean, are still. If we let go of the waves, we are simply the ocean.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Happiness

 

I strongly believe that if you care for a relationship, never hold up your ego between yourselves. Many a time, it has happened that each ego front makes it more and more difficult to bridge the distances created. Especially when you realize you were wrong. Your feet become like lead and the same ego won’t allow you to throw down your defenses and acknowledge your mistakes. And there can be a point of no return coming up in valuable relationships.

I do believe that if someone cares, they should be able to indulge in frank speak without getting guillotined for it. Strong bonds will not break with this. In fact, they will be strengthened.

So, leave ego out and save relationships and enjoy the happiness that such bonds bring you.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Personal Reflection

 

In relationships, how much are you doing merely for show and how much you really do with genuine feeling should be analyzed. We are in the habit of fooling ourselves!

And often we genuinely also believe that we are doing things for the right reasons! But really speaking, we all like to believe this about ourselves. It can be far from the truth.

Virtue is not partial. It is universal. We cannot call ourselves virtuous if this only shows up sometimes.

It is so easy to blame others based on the past. We all do this… keep hardcore memory about what was done years back. We tend to forget all the good that we also saw in people years ago. No memory there! Only blame continues.

Anyways, the onus is on us ultimately. We can believe in humans or malign them. Or we can mend fences and build bridges without judgement and while giving chances to some valuable relationships gone wrong due to expectations and blame, misunderstanding and negativity.

… and before we start accusing anyone, there are no exceptions to imperfect humans. Let us not be under any illusions that one is better or worse. Because if we have changed for the better in some aspects, we still have work to do on many other aspects. So, to keep any form of ego would be a mistake.

If all aspects evolve, we would all be Buddha. But, with a little change, we become more egoistic than humble and detached like Buddha.

 

 

Immediately, we start comparing with the others who might appear less evolved.

This is why each one has to look within and bare our misdeeds to ourselves so that we can accept the complicated thought processes we carry in terms of our fabricated psyches. They don’t have much to do with our reality.

But yes, real change happens only with pure awareness, acceptance and personal reflection.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Tolerance

 

“Keep the doors open” and “don’t burn your bridges” are two very important aspects of human connectivity. Circumstances can change overnight and if our relationships are not intact, there will be no support system in times of crisis. Families were created for exactly this reason.

Tolerance for the good, bad and ugly circumstances in our lives is mandatory. However, that tolerance towards everything and everyone without reacting adversely is what will keep us going. Calm and patience , and the faith that things have to change with time and the wheels keep turning. Nothing is static!

We also, hopefully, will keep learning as we go along and contribute to external change by means of our internal change.

Nothing is impossible!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Communication

 

In relationships, sometimes, it is good to ask “why”. Because once you can talk it out, you may find that you can save a relationship from misunderstandings. Especially, if you care.

On the other hand, when in communication with God, “why” is replaced by faith. There is no asking “why”. Everything is perfect and as per plan. Of course, humans will always doubt!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Relationships

 

When we tie a knot the wrong way, we have actually made just one small mistake in the method. But that one mistake carries out the whole process incorrectly. And to unknot it takes quite a while.

I find relationships start getting complicated also with just that one misunderstanding. And if not immediately sorted out, becomes a complicated entanglement of more misunderstandings, more emotions and more bad blood.

And in such cases, unknotting is not quite that simple! Because humans have their egos, a sense of self-respect etc. so, a straight forward, simple act of wanting to untie the knots is not so simple.

At the end of the day, you have to really know intentions, everyone’s and your own. This is not simple anymore because people are not simple anymore. What you see is Not necessarily what you get.

There is no solution except your own ability to absorb the outcome. // Silence can be one solution but not a practical one. Besides, who says you can’t misread silences? Ensuring that WE act from pure intention is all we can do.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

 

Good Intentions

It is important to know when to communicate but more important to know when not to communicate. We all go through phases when we do things out of good intentions but offend some sensibilities. Fair enough. This happens sometimes to us also and then we are left to deal with our feelings. Like others deal with theirs. But in all of this, when one tries to smoothen the ruffled feathers, not once but many times and there is no response, it is time to withdraw communication. Holding on is not healthy but some people can’t let go easily. They have to work out their feelings and their relationship on their own. More so, the intentions of others. May take time. It is all a part of the drama. But important to understand that this is not about us or who we are. Surekha Kothari www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com surekhakothari.wordpress.com Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Liberation

 Apathy and neglect are two of the most damaging traits in any relationship. They are a part of taking a relationship for granted. And they don’t do justice to being born as a human being.

Like they say, small acts make a huge difference. Ofcourse, there is an individual Perspective in everything but perspectives don’t make reality. Our actions do produce undesirable results but inaction or indifference  may often damage more.

Why ? Because this creation is based on love in various forms. To nurture others is to nurture yourself. I am amazed that such a simple fact of life is so difficult to understand and put into practice. It should come naturally if we know what is our true nature. Sadly, we don’t !

Just thinking about apathy and neglect might take us back to when we probably felt neglected , rightly or wrongly. A personal perspective again ! And, Even if that were true, we would do well to put the past where it belongs.. in the past which is a bubble that burst long ago and has no value in the present moment! It is over only when you put an end to it. Not a second before that. And when you do, it is liberation !

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Kindness and Compassion

 

Many issues that we deal with during healing come from early conditioning.  Most parents bring up their children as they want to see them, not as they are. They are taught likes and dislikes very early. They are taught social distancing even before they are old enough to understand.

Instead of learning pure and innocent qualities from children , parents try to teach their children many lessons which are coloured by their own prejudices, likes and dislikes , even hatred.  Adults dump their own baggage on the children which is just criminal ! They are already handicapping their children emotionally and mentally.

This is the reason why parents also don’t care enough for their own parents. So much lip talk but no genuine caring or compassion ! It is one thing to lead your own life and another to give back what you received. But that is forgotten.

I see parents holding their children back from their grandparents because of their own , often very misunderstood, personal grouses. It is so unimaginable in an educated society where we are all meant to understand kindness and compassion which the have nots find to be a luxury because they are barely surviving.

But… those who live more than comfortably are known to be stuck with an egoistic mind which denies them any sound advice or bringing in the light of human principles to make that shift into humaneness.

The biggest lesson for us today is to accept this change from earlier times. And the biggest difficulty is also to suppress love for people who mete out ego based treatment to those who love them.

The heart needs a lot of healing , away from the negative ego. The ability to understand someone who loves  you within their own karmic challenges requires a lot of empathy and compassion . Only genuine love can accomplish a sound relationship. Otherwise, hurt and more hurt awaits around the corner to fracture relationships and fragment the wholesomeness of a person. Through constant blame !

As I have always said, we have the freedom of choice. Either to become simple and understand what life is and how it should be lived, or feel happy in distancing yourself from the ones that actually love you,

So much to learn and yet, so much unnecessary piling of daily baggage !

Humans rarely elevate to a higher vibration, almost validating the downgrading of humanity itself. We can see this in what the world is today… only due to the lowest form of human existence. Everywhere , complexes, hate and vengeful actions dot the skyline over this world, masked by capsules of sweet words which may be hiding many undesirable motives in the heart.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari