Faith

Wisdom says “don’t overthink”. But it is not easy, especially when you crave answers that are not forthcoming any time soon. And as time passes and you live in more and more uncertainty, thoughts and questions deepen … overthinking is natural.

These symptoms are indicative of a need to be in control of your life. Uncertainty in the smaller things is still acceptable but when it concerns your important things like relationships, success, you need that knowledge to be comfortable.

Fear of the unknown is a major disaster waiting to explode anytime you can’t gauge or anticipate its severity. But conversely, you have no control over it either.

The only thing that makes sense then, is to hold on. And hold your wisdom in your space. To strengthen your resolve to remain steady within your faith, for that is worth holding space for, for miracles in your life.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Instability of Behavior

Public behavior has certain norms for a civilized society. Instability of behavior, being civil when you are calm and venting when you are in a bad mood… a lot of this seems to be tolerated today.

Obviously, this demonstrates some emotional confusion, lack of control over your mind and finally, even less on your speech.

So, one day you smile and the next, you are flaying the same person with unkind words! The consequence is a lot of back chat about that person.

I don’t think we even care about how superficial we are and how we don’t think twice before mowing people down with our unsavory language and generally bad behavior.

I guess the current societies encourage such irresponsible behavior inadvertently by not censuring it and not focusing on its desirability vis a vis non desirability. And so it carries on with some.

But for how long? Because at the end of the day, people are intelligent enough to understand the reasons even though they will not admit them openly.

Its pathetic in a way that you can feel good after disrespecting people in public. But the good news is, its solely the problem of that one person.

Like Buddha said, just return to people their own negativity. There is no need to accept it.

If only we studied his teachings!

We are generally showing a downward trend in values. And because we are too morally weak to rise, we pull others down to where we are.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com
www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Traits

It amazes me! Should anyone apologize for being different? Should anyone be ostracized or be criticized for being one’s own person and not necessarily doing what others around you want to do or enjoy doing?

For exactly these reasons, many are seeking solitude. And falling out of relationships. Even the recreation activities with friends CAN lead to stress. It is so important to be liked for who you are. Group dynamism necessitates acceptance first.

A while back, a forward was sent in the chat group I belong to. It had some normal chickens and only one that had a twisted foot and looked a little different. And the caption was malicious, indicating one person in the group who stands tall and does not practice being a people pleaser.

These are very negative perceptions. A group that is homogenous is also a pretty diverse one but one where there is mutual respect for each other. The moment even one of the group goes into a complex which manifests outside, the balance stands broken. And there will be ramifications for sure.

At the end of the day, no one can be like anyone else but we can, each one of us, learn to appreciate others for what they have done with their lives and for the mutual caring which transcends any individualistic traits that are so inevitable, it would be silly to grudge each other those traits. Because they are unique to each individual. And we are not and cannot be clones of each other.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Spiritual Traditions

 India is the only land of yogis. It is the pinnacle of spiritual thought and the karmabhoomi of all saints. We don’t realize just how fortunate we are to be born in this, our matrubhoomi.

If we read the stories of Shri Ramkrishna Paramhansa, Swami Vivekananda, Lahiri Mahashay, Shri Anandmai Ma, Kabir, Sant Tukaram, Adi Shankara, Buddha and many more, elevated souls from all over India, in fact, we would be able to understand how important it is to realize the intrinsic quality of each soul. We live in abject ignorance.

The advent of the British resulted in the superimposition of western culture and deprived us of our sacred traditions and the knowledge of our ancient spiritual traditions.

If the educational system had continued to emphasize how we should think and live through a study of the lives of these Masters, Bharat would have had more patriots and there would have been pride in being born as Indians.

We only have to look at the results of presenting a united front to the world as in the recent delegations sent by our PM. But we should also FEEL the unity within us, the acceptance of each other and a sense of fraternity, wherever we come from.

Every inch of Bharat is precious for its traditions, whether north, south, east or west. But our minds have become so narrow, we can’t see the larger canvas etched out before our very own eyes.

Someone said, we are moving towards a transition period, towards a return of satyug. But, before that, the utter exhaustion from and death of kaliyug is imminent.

We don’t deserve to be Indians at this moment, what with our minds brainwashed and subversive against our own land and our own kind who we unfortunately, don’t recognize as our own. Separatism can only ignite conflict and disharmony because it is against the laws of the universe.

WHEN will understand this?

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Knowledge

There is a reason why God isolates you. When the few crutches you thought you had also stop working. It is a tough call because we have not learnt the art of isolation. We are so dependent and so unobtrusively so, right from birth.

For some time, you tend to flounder as in deep waters without knowing how to swim. And then, if you are not sinking, you learn to keep afloat at least. That is the first step towards exploring God. The connection gets established only after you experience feeling lost.

The emotion of feeling lonely is a temporary ignorance of the mind. It is actually a state of discovery that we are all in the same boat : ALONE. We come alone and we go alone. It is in between these two that we mess ourselves up until, hopefully, we learn better.

All these facts are so simple really!  We even know this at the back of our minds, don’t we? Then why does the mind not accept this?

If we think about it all, reflection would bring in some knowledge. And once we know, we would find it easier to stay on course.

Defiance and anger regress us. Acceptance and finding positive solutions propels us forward.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari 

Self-Creation

 One thing is for sure! Our agonizing over relationships only defines our own need. Know that story about the monk who was meditating on a boat on the river in the dark and kept getting disturbed by the collision with another boat? He burst out in anger at the person in the other boat, only to find that the boat was empty and was colliding against his boat due to the winds. In life, we do this all the time. We find situations intolerable and vent our anger! So too, in relationships. If we can think of all relationships as that empty boat, we will cease to be needy. With an attitude that if there IS a person in that boat, smile! And if it is an empty boat also, smile! Nothing can stick to you if you don’t let it. Observing the fleeting nature of things is a great lesson. Sometimes, a “best” friend can part with you for years on account of a small misunderstanding. And sometimes, someone recent in your life can give you the support and caring you would never have imagined. Sometimes, you expect more from those you love and that can really mess you up if that love is not reciprocated in equal measure. It was probably the equation that was to set in but not acceptable to us. The long and short of this is simply to cultivate happiness from within, not giving much thought to what was, what could have been, why it is not the way it should have been, etc. Save yourself the agony. It is completely self-created and harms no one but you. Hard lessons and often taught by people closest to you.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Emotion

 

Tears are like irrigation for the heart. We are always told to control our feelings, not to get emotional or teary, that it is a sign of weakness!

Somewhere, if we believe this, we are suppressing ourselves and not accepting ourselves because we have been told time and time again that it is a weakness. And who wants to be perceived as “weak”?

If a demonstration of emotions is weakness, why have we been given them in the first place? All our chakras are related to emotions and elements. Suppression leads to blockages. But we still carry on in our ignorant mindsets, believing that to be emotional is to lose control. In case if excesses, yes! Otherwise, they are a part of what makes us human, unlike robots!

Ironically, an effort is being made to trigger emotions in robots now! It is very interesting to see that we think humans are limited, so, we create “superior” robots. And then, we try to make them “human” by making them like humans!

The world is a crazy place! We never accept God’s perfect creation. We think we know better!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Personal Reflection

 

In relationships, how much are you doing merely for show and how much you really do with genuine feeling should be analyzed. We are in the habit of fooling ourselves!

And often we genuinely also believe that we are doing things for the right reasons! But really speaking, we all like to believe this about ourselves. It can be far from the truth.

Virtue is not partial. It is universal. We cannot call ourselves virtuous if this only shows up sometimes.

It is so easy to blame others based on the past. We all do this… keep hardcore memory about what was done years back. We tend to forget all the good that we also saw in people years ago. No memory there! Only blame continues.

Anyways, the onus is on us ultimately. We can believe in humans or malign them. Or we can mend fences and build bridges without judgement and while giving chances to some valuable relationships gone wrong due to expectations and blame, misunderstanding and negativity.

… and before we start accusing anyone, there are no exceptions to imperfect humans. Let us not be under any illusions that one is better or worse. Because if we have changed for the better in some aspects, we still have work to do on many other aspects. So, to keep any form of ego would be a mistake.

If all aspects evolve, we would all be Buddha. But, with a little change, we become more egoistic than humble and detached like Buddha.

 

 

Immediately, we start comparing with the others who might appear less evolved.

This is why each one has to look within and bare our misdeeds to ourselves so that we can accept the complicated thought processes we carry in terms of our fabricated psyches. They don’t have much to do with our reality.

But yes, real change happens only with pure awareness, acceptance and personal reflection.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

 

Quote of the day

 

Quote of the day

 

A Pinch of Wisdom

 

To get even a pinch of wisdom, we go through a lot of struggle. Of experiencing desire, cravings, anger, envy etc. and then finally, the acceptance that some things are not in our hands. This is one pinch of wisdom but the struggle may be a very long one. We all live on hope. And while there is hope, we often fail to see things as they are.

Hope is not a bad thing. However, an acceptance of the current reality makes life easier, even if it is unpalatable. And change can happen too. Anytime!

The whole world prays since there is a basic realization that only that X factor called God can help. That is the bottom line after realization dawns.

The pinch of wisdom! Surrender!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

 

The Acts of Benevolence

 

How fickle are we if we change every moment, being good with good people and nasty and petty with those whose reactions and behavior towards us is unacceptable to us! Generally, because we WANT love and caring but are too weak to give in return what we are looking for. It should not make us feel good when others are criticized. Because it does not mean that WE are accepted. And we won’t be, until we look within and accept who we are.

Like it is said… you can dish it out but you can’t take it! On a deeper level, this really damages us. No one else is affected adversely but us. We are unable to bear ourselves when we bare ourselves to ourselves. There is something to be said about being steady and not retaliatory. Like the sun always shines despite the clouds. And the light always illuminates darkness, not worrying about the quality of darkness.

The worst human aberration is expectations. If i want to be a free spirit, why do I want to tie others down with MY expectations? Double standards! And if I don’t know the stories of other people’s lives, what right do I have to judge at all?

There is one more aberration that of taking advantage of people’s goodness. The reason why the human race started doing this is because it lost its simplicity and its spirituality. What went out was trust, with every act of selfishness. And here we do, not know what lies behind the smile and the acts of benevolence.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Happiness

 Sometimes life turns out very differently than you had planned. You can be uprooted, fired, cheated on, divorced, diagnosed with a terminal disease, lose a loved one or not be able to have a child. Every one of these situations can either bring out the worst in you or the best in you. It all depends what you focus on.

If you focus on the loss, hurt, unfairness, sadness and disappointment, then you will feel hopeless, angry and frustrated. If you instead focus on the wisdom, the lesson and the benefit, then you will feel hopeful, at peace and content.

Stop dwelling on how your plans didn’t work out the way you wanted it and realize that the One who orchestrated your life is more wise and more knowledgeable. Your plan is nothing compared to the master plan.

Once you’re able to surrender to the plan, you will no longer feel anxious or depressed.

Remember that acceptance is one of the most vital ingredients of peace & happiness.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Acceptance

 Our natural tendency is to freeze the happy moments of our lives and keep revisiting them, often to get away from the unhappy ones. We forget that those have been experienced already but the unhappy ones have not found acceptance and peace within us. It is a subtle form of denial!

Recovery happens with both types of experiences, by learning to repeat the behavioural patterns which brought in happiness and by not repeating the behaviour that resulted in unhappiness.

But, like Duryodhana who told Krishna that he knew what was right but didn’t feel like doing it, we also know what we should be doing, but still continue with actions which definitely must bring in only unhappiness and suffering.

Again, the human brain understands this perfectly. It is just not accompanied by wisdom.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

 

Quote of the day

 

Process of healing

 

Sometimes, in order to heal, you have to let your heart break into a million pieces first. And accept that it is so.

So many generalisations ! So many pre conceived notions ! And an equal amount of expectations ! Certainly not a good recipe for living life.

So, wake up to the trigger and start the process of healing. It is called balance, equanimity and realising our own intrinsic nature, independent and not beholden to any soul, yet connected to all.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Truth

 If you speak your truth sincerely, you will always be at peace, no matter how others feel about it. We are always so other oriented that we would rather not speak our truth out of fear that people may not understand it.

I feel you ultimately gravitate towards people who give you the respect due to you for speaking the truth and vice versa.

Can there be another way ? Being a people pleaser does nothing except harm us at the end of the day. We alter our personalities to suit others , some of who may not even be in our lives permanently.

The reason why we don’t stand united is not because we are different but because our truths are different and not acceptable to others.

It is a little unreasonable to expect people to understand where you are coming from , when you don’t do the same. When we decide to love someone, we often turn a blind eye but when we don’t like someone, we don’t miss a chance of criticising their truth.

I feel this is because we are not confident or courageous enough of paying the price for speaking our truth. Because, there is always a price for everything. And so, we would rather others pay it. But life does not work that way.

Acceptance burns the uneasy space between people and allows for a clear level playing field. So, accept and love . They do go together. Life becomes simple when you are simple and know what to let go of and what to retain, what to internalise and what to leave out there. It is an ongoing process.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari