Friday 30 December 2016
Wednesday 28 December 2016
Tuesday 27 December 2016
Monday 26 December 2016
Presumptions
Presumptions
and misunderstandings have a close relationship. If you understand something or
someone, you will make assumptions on the fact that you know and understand and
can therefore, predict to an extent.
But
when you misunderstand, that can be based on your expectations of people,
people you could sometimes be colored and prejudiced about. Actions in this
case may be misunderstood and hence, incorrect presumptions made, guillotining
someone who may be more innocent than guilty.
We
often mete out undue injustice in this way and should train ourselves to
observe rather than involve in emotional leanings that might prevent clear
thinking and damage relationships. We all live and learn. To correct faulty
patterns is not impossible.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Thursday 22 December 2016
Wednesday 21 December 2016
Tuesday 20 December 2016
Monday 19 December 2016
Destiny
Sometimes, when there is no moon, even the
tide goes into depression and ebbs away...life also ebbs away slowly, inch by
inch. Ultimately, you are face to face with your God. And you both know the
truth of your life. Life after life, only the Divine and your soul are players.
Destiny leads always. If Jesus Christ could be crucified, what can we say of
lesser beings? The world is a stage for many dramas unfolding...and the more
involved you get, the more miserable life becomes. Play your character to the
hilt as per your conscience. Don't expect anyone to know or empathize with your
story. After all, they are also birds of passage. What and who do you think you
can hold onto?
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Friday 16 December 2016
Spiritual science
It
is so interesting to listen to people's conversations and observe the attitudes
and emotional patterns which shine through.
Trivial
and apparently casual conversations are not so ordinary because an aspect of
the personality becomes evident to the onlooker.
For
example, being secretive! I would prefer the word "privacy”. That has a
valid connotation for me. The word "secrecy" somehow demonstrates the
darker side ...and above all, the kind of things that people feel the need to
be secretive about surprises me.
If
you are invited to someone's home for a meal, the statement is, “I am OUT for
lunch", "OUT" being the catch word here. If you are going for a
holiday with "friends". No names mentioned! You might know them. AND
feel bad you were not invited two brothers, sisters or sisters in law don't
have any desire to share friends. Too close for comfort!
WHY?
All this in the name of "healthy" trends or the reverse?
Can
one call this a malfunctioning of society, this opacity and this compulsion to
control people and environment?
If
you really analyze this, the root cause is mostly the perception of a reduction
of attention and importance, or let's say, sharing the person and risking their
walk over to the other side. Or maybe, a tiny voice from within that might
whisper, "Maybe, the other person will outshine me". It is the fear
of loss, a loss of many things under the apparent, superficial reason.
Definitely an avoidable emotion! It just causes inner as well as outer
conflict. But it is a very real issue today. Gone are the days of togetherness
and large heartedness.
I
know there can never be unanimity in such views. But the basic fact remains
that these attitudes exhibit a deep sense of low confidence levels and self
esteem. Of course, one can carry on living in this state all of one's life. And
people DO, too.
On
the deeper level, these are also separatist attitudes where people are making
choices of people and taking sides, sometimes being forced into taking sides,
just because there are two sides...an undesirable polarization in perceptions!
Spiritual
science teaches us oneness, the complete opposite.
But
everything ultimately boils down to our self image. It is important to keep
updating it through constant work and experience. Not be a big fish in a small
pond and getting inflated but a small fish who is lively and courageous and
swims along, exploring the furthest corners of the huge universal ocean so as
never to be intimated by anyone or anything and taking on everything with a
personality adaptable , mature and confident.
The
canvas is so vast that the minds cannot afford to be small. This is a gross mismatch.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Thursday 15 December 2016
Wednesday 14 December 2016
Personalities
I just had to write on the post below. I don't think we even KNOW how
much in fear we live, in the name of love. We cling on to our "near and
dear" in the name of caring, sharing, unity etc. Parents claim to love
children. Children claim equally to love their parents. Friends claim to love
each other. But often, we see so many power games being played. The more
rampant the ego, the more power play we see. Powerful or powerless? In control
or controlled?
We readily compromise our personalities, our choices, swallow our tears
when hurt , smile when we want to scream foul play or blue murder....haven't we
seen enough misery in "families" , in fact, in most groups? ...and in
the bargain, we lose ourselves trying to procure a bit of love, to feel wanted.
We don't realize we go along with the wrong, the unjust, even the callous
because we want to feel good in being a part of people, and then we stop
thinking. We just have to toe the line. And we do...all the time. It is easy.
Exercising the right choice and thinking for ourselves may set us apart ...that
is scary, to say the least.
Exactly as the post says. We are so afraid of "losing" others
that the fear of loneliness results in our opting to lose ourselves instead for
a temporary happy feeling.
How heavy a price is this for our soul! Our journey is alone. We are
like passengers on a train who meet for a while and disembark when we reach our
destination. I have never seen any passenger telling another to go home with
them and live and die together. Have you?
But we know of people who had a mission and who had the courage to forgo
many an impediment to retrieve their inner core and energy from the people,
places and events to which they had lost it. So don’t be afraid to lose people,
be afraid of losing yourself.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Tuesday 13 December 2016
Friday 9 December 2016
Wednesday 7 December 2016
Divine gift
The
most difficult thing to do is KNOW the motives of people around you, SEE them
trying to harm you and yet smile it off without getting affected. In fact, even
meting out affection in return. There has to be so much confidence and faith
that anything that affects you has only been your choice.
I have
seen angry, even vicious people crumble under such cool attitudes. It’s also
called killing with kindness.
These
people are like mountains, "chattans" as they say in Hindi.
Unshakeable to the core! Yes, the core! When your core is anchored to the
Divine, it becomes truly irrelevant what kinds of webs of negativity might be
woven around you. It is like breaking your head against a wall...you will not
succeed in affecting such people.
What
a wonderful and Divine gift!
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Wednesday 30 November 2016
Prejudice
Prejudice!
It is very unfortunate that so much of value is lost through prejudice.
Individual prejudices are bad enough, but we also get embroiled in family prejudices,
religious prejudices, social and cultural prejudices and so on....how much
dislike or even hate we harbor within us! It is incredible!
If
you are divorced, you won't allow your children to keep any contact with the
"estranged" family members. If someone is better than you in some
ways, you don't like them. Complex wins against confidence.
So
much self inflicted grief! For what reason? Because you can't see your own
strengths or know that connectivity comes from the heart, not through wordy
attributes. That getting brain washed against people others don't want you to
keep connections with is a minus in YOUR book only.
Families
have broken up when elders malign and shun family members and teach their
children to hate instead of making their own healthy choices and making them
into wholesome individuals. Friends, now close and now distanced due to nothing
but sudden misunderstandings and resulting prejudices.
I
wish mankind becomes kinder and spiritually mature. Realizes that there is a
story behind every facade. That prejudices affect only your life and mind. And
look at what happens as an extension ....wars, terrorism, crime...all in the name
of prejudice and intolerance.
Not at all worth it!!
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Tuesday 29 November 2016
Friday 25 November 2016
Identity
Acceptability
(or lack of it) is at the root of many issues. I don't know why we are unable
to recognize the fact that we are all different in many ways but that does not
matter. In fact, it is so interesting. Imagine if all of us were clones of each
other! We would not need mirrors for one.
But
jokes apart, why do we feel insecure if the people around us are so different
from us? What is the psychology? So many sects have been formed around a few
and so much intolerance has seeped into society. So many religions are at war,
simply because each one claims to be THE road to Nirvana.
The
saga of "I" and "mine" as superior to all others.
"I" believe. So, all else is meaningless, is the attitude.
All
this is the whole story. In the vast canvas of the Universe, the individual is
so miniscule. But, the ego identity encompasses the whole Universe. And this is
the major reason why we are unable to give the right to someone to be
different. We expect to be accepted. But are unable to accept another because
they are different. High time we dropped our double standards.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Tuesday 22 November 2016
Friday 18 November 2016
Weighing scale
Everything in small dozes!
Anything excessive upsets the applecart. Too much closeness brings distances.
Too much addiction to anything results in ailments. Too much love can create
spoilt people around you. Too much self importance can be blind us to reality.
Too much criticism can lead to poor self esteem…And so on.
Balance is the key word. The
weighing scale is very important…to always keep in mind what imbalance can do...too
much of anything is self destructive.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Thursday 17 November 2016
Monday 14 November 2016
Exciting goal
As children, we used to be
told that there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. We used to run
towards it to catch it. And it holds our fascination even today....like a
distant dream, an exciting goal!
How many pots we run after in
life, isn't it? But have you stopped to see how beautiful each color on the
rainbow is? And what an enchanting harmony of color the rainbow is?
But we prefer to focus on the
pot which ultimately turns out to be just an illusion. And we mistake wood for
the trees as we are past masters at doing this anyway.
Life's journey is also like a
rainbow, with various hues and shades, now hidden, now visible. And we are the
sky that holds all the colors within, to cherish each one with all their warmth
and divinity.
If we were not born, would we have been able to experience the pure,
undiluted beauty of God's creation? Rabindranath Tagore said that this world is
so beautiful that he wanted to be born again and again. He cherished the
opportunity of creativity and radiated joy through his writings and his
music...the journey, riding on the rainbow with no aspirations of ending it and so, no desire
to find that pot.
Surekha
Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Sunday 13 November 2016
Friday 11 November 2016
Thursday 10 November 2016
Experiment
Sometimes, we carry the burden
of compromise relationships just so we are not lonely. The other alternative,
living with ourselves, is scary for many.
I advocate an experiment. Just
make a resolution for 24 hours to be completely by you, without phone, TV,
books and people. Just spend that time by yourself, with yourself. Can you do
it? Think, meditate, introspect ....a sense of restlessness and even fear will
grip you in a few hours, that is, if you last out for hours. Old memories,
insecurities, negativities will crowd your mind.
And that is the very reason
why it is essential to be silent every once in a while...it is a kind of mental
and emotional detox and does wonders. It also energizes and gives mental
strength. Which is difficult when you are within a compromise mode in
relationships?
Because your energy is
depleted while giving up your individual energy to a person or group. You will
understand this when you look at yourself with awareness. And when you make the
transition to resisting the impulse of compromising your personality time and
time again, which invariably would result in feeling that something is not quite right within.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Wednesday 9 November 2016
Tuesday 8 November 2016
Monday 7 November 2016
Confidence
People who are actually
reserved or unsure, maybe quiet or even shy tend to get misunderstood as
egoistic or arrogant. It is our limitation of the mind that brands them so.
Isn't it? Being unable to make them open up to us can also be our weakness.
Life takes different turns for
different people and not all of them can have a "don't care"
attitude. Some may become introverted, too.
So, next time we see withdrawn
people, we should seek them out and try and boost their confidence with our
kindness rather than judge them wrongly.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Sunday 6 November 2016
Friday 4 November 2016
Situations
We don't often understand that
often, we are acting out of a habit that has become a repeated pattern. We
don't know how to change our responses to similar situations. Just think...if
someone said something really unpleasant meant to hurt us and we smiled or even
laughed, how would it feel? Wouldn't it free us?
But we won't do that. We will automatically choose to feel
hurt, giving people power over us and unable to make a right choice for
ourselves. Sometimes, it is good to surprise ourselves by doing something unusual...it
can feel very good.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Thursday 3 November 2016
Wednesday 2 November 2016
Limits
Defining limits! A very
difficult exercise for many. Specially to know when to stop. To know when you
are encroaching on someone else's space. To know when you begin to cross the
line and begin to intrude or encroach onto someone else's life.
Human psychology is complex to
say the least. I realize that some very deep rooted insecurities make people
cross limits, to grab something they believe will make them feel better. But
that is far from what might happen in the long run.
Ultimately, you might succeed
in controlling people for a while but once people set limits and demonstrate
the need for space, crossing this might prove to be a bad choice.
They say, if you love someone,
set them free. But if you end up controlling them, you show you don't love OR
respect them. It only demonstrates a gnawing personal need.
Taking the space that is
yours and then, with dignity, moves away. This speaks of a beautiful energy
that is in harmony with itself.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Tuesday 1 November 2016
Monday 31 October 2016
Spirituality
Spirituality is not a
religion. Neither is it a chain of rituals to be performed. It is beyond
anything manmade. We can be practicing any religion but we are all spiritual.
Our intrinsic quality is to be a spirit.
Yet, people don't seem to
understand this. They talk of anything spiritual like it is a phenomenon from
another world.
Even if we teach the theory of
spirituality, there will be a lacuna, because spirituality is to be recognized
as a set of principles which have to be practiced and experienced. If you are
spiritual, you have to follow a path which will be fraught with uncertainties
and painful realizations. So, people don't go there at all. Understandable, I
guess, but ultimately, a deep loss.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Sunday 30 October 2016
Friday 28 October 2016
A sense of compassion
To forgive and be forgiven is
the most beautiful feeling. It removes many blocks within, cleanses our
energies and gives us a new impetus to start over. It is often a difficult
exercise. But if we look at every human being as a soul and all the layers as meaningless
as the ones we pile up on ourselves, we might succeed in developing a sense of
compassion.
To let go of grudges and resentments and to try and forgive completely
is beautifully demonstrated by the "paryushan" week by the jain
community. They ask for forgiveness within their family and friends and anyone
else they have hurt. And this requires a subjugation of the ego, although
temporary for many. Being human, we do tend to lapse. However, it does teach us
and make us aware that we need to make it a part of our lives gradually and
with practice.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Wednesday 26 October 2016
Connectivity
Times
change, people change, circumstances change! But we hold on to our belief
systems in spite of their getting obsolete, to grudges which we know are not
good to keep within because they mess us up, resentments which hold us back
while others move on...
Sometimes, I wonder why we humans were
given the freedom of making choices when we didn't get the good sense to
discern our good from bad. It is as clear as daylight that choices must be made
for a happy end result. Happiness for all.
I posted a story titled "UBUNTU"
today which says it all....I AM BECAUSE YOU ARE...how can I be happy when so
many are unhappy? This is the only choice to make to turn the tide of our lives
to a peaceful, meaningful and a truly spiritual direction. This is a timeless
truth for human beings while the soul is encased in a physical body:
connectivity!
Surekha
Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
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