Comparisons

Why is it that often, new friendships fade into a kind of indifference after a while whereas old bonds can be revived any time? What is it about childhood friendships?

We travelled with my dad every two years and this moving constantly never really gave us the time to strengthen bonds. Today, when I see my children having such strong bonds with their friends, it is because they were together since school days.

As children, there were no motives attached to friendships.

Not a care in the world about the frills of family name, fame etc.

Comparisons set in only when, as adults, we start calculating and comparing.

But as I always say, everything does have two sides and the good side of changing cities is that you learn to adjust and adapt early in life. And unconsciously, your mental horizons expand as well.

We call ourselves widely travelled when we have indulged in a lot of foreign travel. But I tell people I was a widely travelled kid!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Favor of light

Once again, I am reminded of prophecies regarding the downfall of human beings in kalyug. The recent worst case scenario: this election is demonstrating it. One may as well recognize that not much falls in the category of the virtuous. That we can fall so low! ANYTHING to gain power even betrayal of your own motherland! Where does this stop? When does it stop? Does it stop at all? You can actually put up your own country for sale? It offends sensibilities and inspires disgust.

Maybe, just maybe, we are seeing an about to happen transformation for the better, that all the darkness shall be blasted out in favor of light. God knows we need it!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Inner reality

Each day, we create our reality with our thoughts. We really don't realize what power thoughts have. We are not in command or in charge of ourselves to see this even. We happily go around creating a web of negativity around us and getting stuck in its reality. Negative produces more negative. Our inner reality is our outer reality. No two ways about that.

So, better be careful what we think or wish for. What really works is love and blessings, unconditionally.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Impression of happiness

It is the nature of humans to oscillate between happiness and stress. We speak of increasing hours of happiness through external sources and resources when actually, isn't it really a state of mind? Ah! The MIND! The monkey that jumps from tree to tree! With a super speed unmatched by anything else in the human being, to steady it is a challenge.

But the question is how to make happiness a state of mind? We try to keep away from people and situations that affect us adversely in order to get happiness. Which means, we ARE affected and are in denial? Pushing away issues under the carpet may give us a superficial impression of happiness but there are definitely unhealed issues festering within.

As we know, many of us kill the child within us at some point. Believe me, if you don't carry the forgetting and loving innocence of that child as an adult, all you will do is live your life cloaking your real emotions, hiding hurt from the world and blaming something or someone most times and also trying to become successful so that THAT becomes your benchmark for happiness. Hmmm! Let's not forget that THAT is an external benchmark designed to ARRIVE at happiness. Whereas, happiness is not something to be arrived at.

Actually, without the shining light of simplicity, innocence and forgiving, can there be real happiness? I have yet to see it.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Recognition

Awards and their value in modern times! Being up close and personal in this knowledge is disconcerting. Since many years, there are organizations writing to people of some merit, asking them if they would like an award and requesting for contributions or "donations" to a cause. I guess they capitalize on the publicity opportunities that excite the awardees who want the limelight. Human, I guess but....,

How many awards are genuine? Richly deserved? Not only awards, even artists often pay for their concerts. Obviously then, every such organized activity is purely commercial, with less bearing on caliber than ever before.

And if you have a string of awards along with your name, people are impressed, not knowing the merit orientation of these awards. Undeserved awards raise expectations of the masses but do not necessarily result in an elevation of the caliber and hence, credibility.

It is very sad that sometimes, not always, there is such a huge gap between receiving an award and deserving it. Sadly, it depends on who you know in the business. It should not be so wherever it is so. Today, press and media are equally in this business.

Genuine talents remain without recognition. But I also know some very talented stalwarts in their fields who have declined awards merely on the grounds of a certain meaninglessness that has set in the very system of recognizing talent; Unfortunate in a land of so much talent but appreciation for mediocrity merely for commercial gains.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Special gifts

When you criticize someone, sometimes, you envy because you want to be like them. But at the same time, you don't want to emulate them. A bit contradictory for sure. But looking deeper, it means there is some originality of spirit waiting to illuminate itself. There is so much substance within us, we don't know it ourselves.

Often, in mere defiance of others telling you this, you turn the other way either out of sheer laziness to explore within or disbelief of the self. "Just couldn't be bothered" would be another reason. And the current comfort zone would be a huge one.

We end up wasting much of our special gifts. But ironically, what we don't know of, we don't miss.

So, don't worry. Be happy. At the end of the day, this matters.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Perfectionist

It is not easy to deal with a desire for perfection in everything. You invariably deal with people who are anything but that. To deal with people when you are trying to achieve perfection and a certain standard in everything you do, you had better not rely on them completely unless you want to get stressed out and even fall ill. 

Perfectionists have little patience with mediocrity. But to expect your standard of work from others is also foolish. In fact, it is wiser to bring down your standards a peg or two. Otherwise, you are likely to get into serious conflict with such people. To move forward, you might have to deal with less than efficient people and work.

Unfortunately, there are paid officials in many places who do not have the interest or ambition to grow and learn. Because they do not observe. And because they have no pride in their work.

And this gives rise to much frustration in perfectionists. I have seen people leave jobs, sack employees because of this. But they suffer for it.

So, simply put, be protective about your health, chill and relax a little. Everything will get done in time. I am often told that life should also be enjoyed. And I agree....so, learn to grin and bear in general.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Tramuas

"To hell and back" is common terminology when we go through an intensely bad experience and are trying to recover. None of us can actually live in anyone's shoes to feel that intensity. Though we can try.

To feel someone's pain, agony is an evidence of very deep soul connections. We don't feel so for everyone and there is so much misery in this world.

The intense and searing pain that tears us apart at the suffering or death of a special person can create a hell around us on a daily basis. This is what depressions are all about. You get up in the mornings and the first thought is about these souls, that is, if you slept through the night before. This is true of all traumas that we go through in our lives at various ages, from rape to betrayals to abject misery and disenchantment.

The biggest service we can provide is to try and mitigate at least a percentage of that feeling of "hell" where they live. Even if we can touch one life in this manner.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Strategy

How to be a good loser! A great asset in life...to have the philosophy that someone has to win and someone has to lose. I just play my best. Sports teach you how to face the world and your circumstances minute to minute.

Life is like that opponent who swings his racquet to hit the ball but you don't know how it has spun and where it is going to fall. You just have to be prepared to receive it, hit it with your best strategy back to life...no warning. No notice.

And this is why life becomes your best teacher....

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the Day

Responsibility

In all my years of counseling and healing, I have known most families as dysfunctional. Today, if people are opting more for friends than family, unfortunately, things have evolved to this situation.

The tragedy is that over the years, economic and social differences crept in and comparisons corroded the fabric of closeness and unity. 

It is amazing how "family" members stake ownership without owning the responsibility aspects in the family. They feel "deprived" without working, wronged without adding value and demand without deserving.Not only are marriages in trouble but materialism has almost destroyed many families.

Another important aspect that has developed is the indiscipline of the youth and their insolence with elders, playing favorites, taking sides and open antagonism. It is disturbing to see that there are no controls on them and elders are so helpless. Or, in some cases, it is elders who encourage this due to their own prejudices. They don't realize how they are damaging their own children in the long run.

We really need to introspect and change our priorities and revert back to some of the earlier values that kept families together. This can happen only if family members also became friends and practice the same modes of attitudes and behavior that they do with friends. Why unrealistic expectations with regard to family members?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day

Ironic Truth

Is there a right time for everything? Perhaps, yes...in relationships for sure. The closer you are and the more you have participated in the emotions of another, the more vigilant you should be. Nothing breaks as easily as a heart or trust.

I am not saying that one should be calculating and on edge all the time. Somehow, whatever you say about not keeping expectations, you do end up with a few. But there is always a difference between realistic and unrealistic ones. Now, what is realistic or otherwise would depend again on the closeness of the relationship. Ironic but true.

It is however; better to assimilate the hurt caused than to constantly be troubled about it. It can disturb not only your mind but your life if you don't move on with acceptance of something you cannot change. Because you can be responsible only for yourself.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Blame game

The blame game! We have done it ever since we can remember and still continue with it. I guess it is always easier to blame something else or someone else for the plight we find ourselves in. That "plight" we are in needs attention and analysis.

Once we accept that we make the choices for our lives, all arguments become meaningless. But that is being rational. You will find that people who are strong in energy make choices for themselves which is fine.

But rationality does not always prevail. On the flip side, there are others who are weak in energy, who will blame the earth if they fall, blame the family for a bad marriage and so on… everyone except themselves. Not only are miserable, they also make others around them miserable.

And it is so much depletion of energy all over. If only we learn to accept that we are largely responsible for what transpires in our lives, we can change things around for a total transformation in our lives. Because we can't change the external environment or people. But we can work at our own attitudes and knowledge. When we are young, we go through conditioning. But as adults, with education, observation and analysis, we should be able to understand the futility of the blame game and the impact of taking responsibility for our lives.

                 

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Fear of People

The deepest complexities develop within us when we don't express our personalities for fear of people. Have we ever thought about.....does the sun shine less brightly for fear that it will scorch? Does the breeze stop blowing strongly for fear that it may cause havoc? Does the fire stop spreading and burning for fear that it might cause damage? These constitute the intrinsic nature of these elements. Only humans will harm themselves by bottling and stifling to please others.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari