Facts of life

It is so important to understand a few basic facts of life. One of THE most important ones is that "I" may be extremely important to "ME" but not necessarily to others from where one is watching. So often, this ignorance becomes a cause of great emotional and mental suffering.

It is good to learn to say, "It is okay" and bless everyone. In a world of time and space, we tend to measure distances with our emotions. Emotions don't know how to rationalize or see things clearly.

I have realized that distance and closeness are mere illusory concepts. Who is close and who is distant? And what is the measure? The measure is once more, nothing but our expectations. The other person may not even remotely be thinking of you while you agonize over how close or how distant or why close or why distant. Sounds a little foolish but we tend to do this a lot.

Whether family or friends or acquaintances, unless you need to measure the physical distance, and you can do that by adjusting your spectacles, all "distance" is in our heads.

We also feel that someone who has not communicated for a long time has "gone away" from us. Not true. Getting involved in your life doesn't mean you don't care or that others don't care.

There are many ways of thinking and understanding. The one thing that works is living contentedly with you. People know you are there. You know people are there. You have your priorities. They have theirs. The heart is the biggest connection. If that continues, you are okay.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Divine energy

The Divine has been called “Bhaavateet ", meaning beyond this world, beyond the emotions, beyond the transient. If we think for a minute that the Divine symbolizes a set of qualities to be lived, then the human can also aspire to be the Divine energy; Just as "guru" has been described as a "tattva” or substance, a guiding energy which we can elevate ourselves to.

Nothing is beyond us , except what our constant tendency to doubt makes happen. But of course, it takes a lot of pain to even start on that path of slowly healing away the illusory layers from our mind. How many lives are we living in an illusion, thinking there is no one to beat us in wisdom. What wisdom is this? And how have we acquired it and how MUCH, to say with so much confidence that we speak from wisdom? It could also be our ignorance to think we are wise in the first place.

So, how much churning has to happen within us, so that the pollution is cleared and the truth shines, simple and pure. Until then, and if we ever reach that state, we can continue with our illusions.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Silence

Sometimes, silence is the best policy. It is a mistake to think we can explain ourselves and the opposite person will understand. Also, talking about the universal phenomena, of solutions to issues, of sharing wisdom, or any love for that matter, may not be acceptable. Silence distances you from everything and works on your own peace and evolution where speaking creates conflicts. The choice is easy. But to arrive at it is difficult.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Quality of existence

Large heartedness is always the way to go. Humans are, by virtue of being a part of the Divine energy and hence, spiritual beings, are naturally expansive. This intrinsic quality must be retained to lead a higher quality of existence.

Ultimately, the micro IS the macro. But small mindedness is not productive. It is not natural. Servicing our needs which have already been built into the cosmic plan is therefore, is counterproductive. What we service is our wants, not our needs. And that's where the difference is not recognized.

You will notice that the moments of the greatest happiness are always when you have extended yourself beyond yourself to others; Maybe, charity or a kind listening ear, "annadaan”, imparting education, and the like, even loving selflessly.

The day we recognize this, we will be well on our way to a truly happy state of being.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Victimhood

A strong message that we need to give people is that of recognizing the aspect of victimhood within themselves and shedding it at the earliest. When you compare yourself with others and find yourself lacking in a few things, you feel life hasn't been fair to you. Victim of life!

When people don't treat you well, you feel you are not wanted, Victim again; without realizing that THEY may be struggling to get out of their victimhood moments which stretch into years for many. Similarly, you see relationships falling prey. One dominant the other victim, the power play! Sensitive people often go under very quickly. And the game never stops, because one of the two is living a victim's character.

Victimhood may be the result of many things. Low self worth, inability to derive moral and spiritual strength, depending on others for love and caring, not able to live with themselves and many more. But the bottom line is, if you sink into victimhood, you sink period. It is very difficult to come out of it. So, please don't let anyone push you into that corner, not even your near and dear ones.

Stay wholesome people. And emerge stronger each time you face any situation. After all, who is going to accompany you out of this world? Certainly not those who were instrumental in your receding into that mode.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Never forget a lesson

Grow through what you go through. It is amazing how one sentence can be like an ocean of teaching. Living through the experience is the only way to grow. A personal experience is more profound than any words. Remember how we were as parents, always sheltering our kids instead of allowing them to have their own share of experiences? And what happened to these children? Many of them could not create and grow into their own spaces. But some parents chose to teach them how to reason and think and experience and grow. For example, children must be allowed to fall and get up, rather than being prevented from falling.

At every stage from the toddler stage to adulthood, the importance of our own experience cannot be underestimated. Once we experience, we learn from it. Mere words cannot change us unless we imbibe teachings sincerely and allow them to sink in deeply. But we never forget a lesson when we have lived the episode.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Tit for Tat

I just read somewhere that people try their best to expose what is wrong with you because they can't handle what is right with you. I find this to be a little unnecessary. Fault finding is an aberration of the mind which tells you that you are not good enough. From your perspective, you might feel good but believe me, it is temporary and the aftermath of feeling guilty and not so good is uncomfortable.

In society, it is normal to speak behind the back of a person because you don't want people to know that you are capable of slander. But slander it is, however much you might try to cloak it. It is your negativity that gets aired and people are quick to sense this as well, although they may not say it to your face.

Many people say that they are just giving tit for tat. But that doesn't stop you from also being in the wrong.

Life is meant to move from strength to strength, to become better and better, more and more compassionate and generous. Instead of pointing out the wrong because you can't handle the right, you can appreciate the right of another and correct the wrong within you. And this applies to all of us.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Source of fear

On a scale of 0 to 10, how much are you driven by fear of losing the people you love? We all need to really think about this because much of our life IS ruled by this fear.

The thought of being rejected or shunned torments and transforms into depression in many cases. And then, you can ask for references of names of psychologists/ psychiatrists / healers to tackle your depression.

First of all, fear itself is avoidable. What can be the value of fear between two people who are close? Only desperation to remain close can trigger fear. The insecurity can trigger fear.

To make people indispensable in your life can be a source of fear. They can rule your heart by all means. Love does not need reciprocity. You love because you love. It is your choice and no one can take it away. But if people you love choose to leave or create a distance, you should still be able to love them and pray for their happiness. Love is not a trade off although this is the way it works in this world.

You scratch my back and I scratch yours, and let us both bleed to death in the name of love, curtain close applause. Now, let us go home. This is the world we live in.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Survival

A motivational, beautiful story I heard recently. A man's donkey fell into a deep pit from where there was no way out. The man was very sad and wanted to bury the donkey before it languished to its death. So, he began pouring soil on the donkey. Each time he did that, the donkey shook it off and stood up. The man kept doing this and the donkey kept shaking every load off. The man did not realize that the pit was filling up and soon, the donkey was able to walk out of the pit.

This is so close to life. People try to bury you for various reasons but you need to have the courage and creativity of the donkey and snake off any "loads" being poured over you. Develop the survival instinct like the donkey. Otherwise, to get buried is the easiest thing in the world.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Attitudes of people

There is a very wise saying in Hindi which, translated, means, and “never throw stones in still waters". Let things be. Let sleeping dogs lie. Don't create ripples unnecessarily, so relevant for life and attitudes of people. When things are moving smoothly, there will always be people disturbing the peace, people who get restless when there is no problem. Peaceful

Existence also becomes intolerable for some. I think peace is also a habit, like any other. There are those who can't live any other way. But living in a world of dualities, many will spring up around you to threaten your peace.

But, I wonder if that is not too placid a way to exist. That turbulence is also required to grow. If stones are not thrown into still waters, the water may stagnate. And sometimes, when you let sleeping dogs lie, your home may be burgled.

The core issue is to know when to and when not to throw a stone.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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The Era of knowledge

This is the era of knowledge predominance, so much technology, Brilliance etc. But we have not emerged from our decadent mindsets yet. Look at the kind of "education” our entertainment industry provides us. We talk about equality, rights of women, leveling out the society, going back to "family", respecting women (huge one, this!)

Women, even today, are depicted in the worst ways. Watch an Indian or Pakistani drama (similar people in both countries) and the most prominent theme is women bashing, subservience and ill treatment of women, woman against woman (as in mother in law and sister in law), intrigue, attempt by the family to destroy the daughter in law because of dowry (sick!) or the obsessive tendencies of the mother in law and sisters in law to control the "son" of the family...COME ON!

And we talk of changing our world by making it progressive. We know that generations after generations internalize these situations, machinations, dangerous and vicious intrigue and vicarious pleasure at the downfall of others. So much so that we copy reel life and paste it in real life.

In real life, we may not have women characters retiring for the night in their finest heavy saris and jewelry but we do have the masses enjoying all the politics and deviousness in families on television and don't necessarily forget about them to go into loving and caring ways with the family, friends and society.

The thinkers say it is their choice to see what appeals to them and that you can't dictate what should be produced and aired. But the appeal of exposure to and specially the enjoyment of such dramas/ serials can be vital to the health of family, community and country, because they create regressive attitudes and "license to kill" with self indulgence of every kind. These are people who specialize in herd mentality and don't have opinions of their own. AND, they idolize actors and juxtapose their roles in their own lives, the erosion of values, Eve teasing, violations of women, these gain momentum. But we don't have any forum to exorcise our people of thinking and behavioral patterns, including a corrupt judiciary and police.

What all are we going to and HOW are we going to clean up these to add to the “swachh Bharat" endeavor? If insides are rotting, what cleanliness can we see outside? We will have understood the wholesome and vast implications of "swachh" first.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Perception

Setting examples! The common belief is that parents and elders should set examples to their children to follow. From generation to generation, this hasn't changed. And while that is true, many parents have to also face a lot of flak and criticism for not coming up to the mark by setting adequate examples worthy of being emulated.

In all of this, I often wonder! Are we setting good examples for ourselves first? Or is it that counseling and advising others on how to live life is easier? For sure, in most cases.

So, how do I appear to me be the moot questioned because it is only that perception which can be changed if we don't look good to ourselves? We can't mute that inner voice that speaks to us like we can mute a chat group with a click today.

So, it is most worthwhile to start improving our image in our own eyes and take our own advice, which we generally give others. Be your own example and let others emulate it if they so wish.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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