Sunday 30 December 2018

Everything and Everyone


Treat those who don't mean well by you kindly. Bless these people because they need the blessings to come out of their negative states. How many of us realize that we are spiritual beings here only for a human experience. We need to float from one end to the other end of the river of life. Not to strive to reverse the flow, immerse ourselves into the waters to clean up and waste our time on trivialities.
People are only showing you with their behavior what you need to learn , unlearn and re learn. The rest you have to do. Flowing and floating in the right direction is what we have to do.
Bless, bless, bless and float, float, float. The journey will be smooth, because everything and everyone you bless tends to step aside from your path.
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com


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Thursday 27 December 2018

Solution

Overactive and emotionally disturbed ! Yes, the two can go hand in hand sometimes. If someone faces injustice, abuse and lack of love , emotional disturbance is a given. The point is, how to survive this feeling of being victimised for no fault of yours ? Simple ! The first choice is, DONT accept victimhood. I do not know if anyone who has not had people who have tried to break them down.
While some lacking courage might succumb, the fact is, to succumb to any form of injustice is as much a crime as practising it. On the other hand, those who have a distinctly defiant streak may go the other way by becoming so busy and active that they don't focus on their emotions. But that is also a denial of a kind because whatever else you do, emotions ride with you. That is the issue.
So, being aware of this, it is better to accept and run through all the emotions one by one till they get exhausted and dissolved. Running away from them is not a permanent solution at all.
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com


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Tuesday 25 December 2018

Memories

When we talk of memory, we perhaps refer to the mind in general. The soul memory actually gets transferred from one lifetime to another and is stored as cellular memory. If the memories are painful , they will manifest in the body sooner or later if something is not done to take away the pain . It is like a thorn in your foot which , if deep, gets septic and the pain radiates well beyond the location of the thorn .
It seems like a Herculean task if not an impossible one, to heal the cells by healing the memories. Because emotional pain also radiates out as compounded pain with one major negative emotion finding allied emotions joining in. Like, anger brings frustration and often , hopelessness with it.
One beautiful method is through breath. Breathing exercises are vital to health. Otherwise lungs can get effectively choked due to intense emotions. They can't breathe in life under these conditions.
So, it pays to remember each time we practice negativity, where the memories are going to be stored and how important it is to clean up the toxicity before it attacks the mind body complex.
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com


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Sunday 23 December 2018

Belief system

The conditioning that happens between childhood and adulthood is responsible for adult behavior to a very large extent. What is right and what is wrong is dictated by the learning at that time. Of course, there are cases where the children are sometimes complete throw backs on the elders in the family.
Life is pretty much a mix of first unlearning , the relearning and new learnings as well. It is not true that everything we believe in works all our lives. Some belief systems have a short life and must be looked at to find them obsolete very often, with dire consequences. And some belief systems might be workable longer.
The most difficult thing to do is to keep changing because it might end up resulting in confusion and a certain amount of fickleness. To be solid and stand by your values is one thing and to become rigid in your beliefs totally different. The former is highly respected but the latter could go terribly wrong if not thought through.
Something's work for some and for sometime , while some things work for others for a while. Given the changing nature of creation. But there is no ONE formula or belief that works for all.
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Thursday 20 December 2018

Life Experience

Often, one reaches a stage when all experiences run through you like a film. It is an overwhelming experience, to say the least. You have loved and lost. You have cried and laughed. You have compromised and beaten yourself up. You have been just and unjust. You have been cowardly and brave , calm and angry. You have needed and given to the needy. You have prayed and complained. Sometimes, you have lost and then found.
What is this movie that we are living and which runs our lives ? Is it a dream or reality ? Is everything really happening or will we wake up and find everything has disappeared and all our crying and laughing , depressions and cudgels with life were naught ! Just a bubble that could burst anytime. Like the illusion of standing on a pile of sand which could slide down and topple you any minute.
What then is so very important that we can become so twisted sometimes and so wanting ? Still looking for so many answers . I don't know how many lifetimes it will take for us to find our souls.
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com


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Tuesday 18 December 2018

Emotion

Regret is the worst emotion for any of us. Crying over spilt milk, without examining and analyzing the how's and whys. It IS important to do so. The root cause of regret may be very small.
Aren't there many things we have wanted but unable to get them ? Or achieve them ? Even if I take up a career successfully today, there may be other aspects which I could not nurture due to time constraints and whatever else.
Circumstances, inabilities of different kinds and for different reasons... it's ok , because one did other things . That is the satisfaction one seeks. It is important to find enjoyment in what we do, not regret what we did not or could not do. The bottom line !
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com


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Sunday 16 December 2018

Observation and Learning

When do you believe in everything you read and what others say? And you are constantly tossing the information in the cauldron wondering which is true and what is not, what should one live by and what to discard.
People say going to academic institutions makes a huge difference and those who say this would be right, too. Except for one thing. There is a deeper native intelligence , the When do you believe in everything you read and what others say? And you are constantly tossing the information in the cauldron wondering which is true and what is not, what should one live by and what to discard.
presence of which makes the extraordinary difference to an educated person. That discerning quality is more in some and less in others. Of course, it can be cultivated to an extent with basic common sense and lots of observation and learning.
The ability to separate wheat from the chaff catapults the level of the educated mind to another level. And to impart that quality in those who teach makes them extraordinary and learning an absorbing exercise. Otherwise, mugging is just an exercise for the memory and not the brain. It doesn't teach you how to live life.
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com


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Thursday 13 December 2018

Decision-Making

For many, blaming comes easy, easier than to take responsibility or ownership for your thoughts and actions. It begins with blaming parents, could be for the decisions made for you because you either told them to or could not make any yourself. Finally, when these decisions don't result in what you want, what else but blame the decision makers?
I didn't think right for a long time. But then, I realized that even parents were little ones at one time and became products of their own conditioning and upbringing. What is important to understand is that their growing years shaped much of their thinking. And they, with all the love they had, could only do what they knew to be the best at the time. It was your karma that you had to experience that you did not recognize as your lesson.
After 18 years and with education behind you and always in front of you in the school of life, if you don't learn compassion and understanding of people you live with or are close to, all the riches and popularity in the world are of no use. The whole world can applaud you for your worldly success. But what about that spirit that resides within you whom has a different yardstick for approving of you?
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com


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Tuesday 11 December 2018

Understanding of life

When you are depressed, you need someone to talk to; someone who’s kind and understanding words are all it takes to make you feel less toxic. More so, if the environment you live in is a toxic one, an impersonal one, a non- caring one.
Someone asked me, which life is a better one, the one of compromise or the one of loneliness? But aren't we all lonely in some way? And don't we all live a life if compromise in one way or another? How would you quantify or qualify either?
But if you are compromising because you don't want to feel lonely, then you are in trouble. People can be like quicksands, and those that are solid too, have to go away one day.
How much mental strength and understanding of life must one have then, to absorb experiences in the right way and decide what would work and what would not and yet having solutions do not necessarily translate into action. There could be many, many obstacles on the way and one must have the time, will and energy to overcome them.
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com


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Monday 10 December 2018

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Comparison

When you criticize, you want to feel better about yourself. Or, you feel you are in a better state and therefore, can criticize others. But it is not so. Because what you criticize is deep seated within you. You have been there and haven't healed yourself. And without parts of you not being healed, there is no peace.
Comparing deprives you of peace because the very fact that you compare means you are not happy with yourself and your life as it is.
As far as complaining goes, it is evident that there is much chaos within you. You are unable to adjust to your environment and there is always some lack or the other. Where is there a question of peace ?
Peace will be within reach when you replace the three Cs with three As.
Awareness
Acceptance
Adjustment
Adapting to what is around you is the best way to go.
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com


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Friday 7 December 2018

Virtual world

It certainly appears that the virtual world has created distances between people. Families and friends today prefer to SMS or whattsapp rather than pick up the phone. The need to hear a voice is diminished considerably. The old world dialogue, " son, (or daughter) I haven't heard your voice in such a long time" is an almost obsolete statement. If you want that personal touch, there is a solution. And that is, just stop wanting it.
Similarly, a decreasing of hard copies of books and newspapers in the wake of a kindle and online news still makes one yearn for the touch of paper , a turning of a page physically instead of a click .
The emotionally led generations will, by and large, have to take a back seat in the next few years. I am not complaining. Just stating facts and neither am I unhappy. Because, spiritually, this is a wonderful time to detach as much as possible before leaving this earth. There is always a grand plan if one can see it. What the sages advocated and was so difficult to practice, is now becoming easier. We have less to account for in the other world.
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com


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Tuesday 4 December 2018

Encouragement

How many things in life can we laugh about? How many things do we take in our stride? And how many times do we get affected?
If you can laugh about things which hurt earlier, then you are more evolved because such people are lighter in energy and a little detached as well.
If you are taking things in your stride, then you have learnt to balance your emotions out. And you have learnt when and where to use them.
And if you get affected by things, then you have not learnt your lessons well. It is always in the moment of imbalance that we are dominated by our emotions. You are still too dependent on what is outside of you. And the external is not always dependable whereas you are looking for support and encouragement from there only. Shoulders may be taken away. Rugs can be pulled from under your feet.
In all this, you can only depend on yourself and your wisdom in living, dealing with people and situations. Just like no one can attend school as a proxy for you to attain the knowledge, no one can improve your life but yourself.
Men may come and men may go,
But "I" go on forever.
So, if "I" go on forever, where lies the need to lean on an impermanent, destructible world?
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com


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Sunday 2 December 2018

Intelligence

Why do we go into sometimes uncalled for and sometimes unnatural behavioral patterns? Especially with certain people? And you tell yourself that you don't know where these patterns came from. But they have to have come from somewhere.
I find that old memories are the most common triggers.
Your old negative experiences about these people create an adverse reaction and even if you see them after a long time, you still assume that those old habits of that person would still be existing as you had experienced before and been thoroughly disenchanted with at the time.
Assumptions can be very real and dangerous at times. Because you haven't given another chance and may be completely wrong and start something like a chain of causes and effects you never should have. Or never dreamt you would.
It is therefore, a good idea to forgive and erase those memories.
You would be human to ask, how many chances should one take and be given in any particular case of being burnt with past experiences. The reply lies with you and how intelligently you can handle the same people again, this time without labeling them black and by giving them and yourself another chance at creating a new equation.
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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