Showing posts with label Encourage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Encourage. Show all posts
Thursday, 16 July 2020
Thursday, 2 April 2020
Aware of the patterns
It takes a while for people to believe that
we can heal ourselves in many ways. Because we are responsible for making
ourselves ill in the first place, we have also been endowed with self healing
powers. Some terminal cases have been healed , too. Two cases that I know of
with terminal illnesses cured themselves just through a few hours of pranayama
per day.
The fact of the matter is , our thoughts
and emotions when starting to deeply embed within ourselves are what manifest
later. Negative emotions arising out of negative thoughts are the core reason
for a gradual
Deterioration in health.
People ask me how any “ normal” person can
stop feeling hurt or sad or depressed or angry at some time and in some
situations. Sure ! True. But it is one thing to feel it momentarily and another
to let it fester. Instead, it is healthier to let it go. Any emotion that is doing
harm instead of good cannot be acceptable.
If relationships you have valued get
affected, if restlessness and guilt sets in, if peace eludes you and thoughts
crowd you each second, you haven’t started walking towards the path of light.
Become aware of the patterns and
stereotypes you live with and don’t hesitate in asking for forgiveness,
forgiving yourself and erase any memories that are painful, knowing they are
just your perceptions. Give the benefit of doubt . And let go , let go. How
many times ? Well, all the time. Holding on will harm you. It will bring
illnesses you don’t need anytime soon , in fact, not at all.
So, relax. Have a “char minar,” as the
saying goes.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Sunday, 2 February 2020
Thursday, 31 October 2019
Monday, 16 September 2019
Thursday, 5 September 2019
Everything is changeable
The days your heart is full are the days
you come closest to bliss and to Godliness. Everything around you is positive.
Only good news comes your way. The people close to you are communicative. You
feel love and grace. A perfect day!
Spoils us for those days which are not so
perfect because in our ignorance, we start expecting every day to be a replica
of that one perfect day. A lot of this syndrome has to do with our
expectations. We know every day is not going to be the same but we still feel
bad and stressed when it isn't.
Perfect days also have a lot to do with our
responses to the situations during the day. We can choose to smile or frown and
that takes care of the mood setting for the day.
It is not wrong to say that it is in our
hands to turn the mood around to a more positive one. An honest attempt may work,
but not each time. Sometimes, our own energies may not side with us and
sometimes, those around us may overpower us to succumb to an outcome not
designed by us nor expected.
But you know what? At the end of the day,
everything is okay and will pass to give way to a new phase yet again. There is
no scope to feel triumphant. Things are constantly in a state of flux.
Everything is changeable and changing constantly. That's life.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Sunday, 24 March 2019
Thursday, 21 March 2019
Tuesday, 5 February 2019
Compatibilities
I have been discussing with my group about
how marriages fall apart "suddenly" after 25 years and more. And I do
believe that nothing happens suddenly. It is generally a long road fraught with
many incompatibilities and underlying stress which is not spoken about by one
or the other spouse to keep the peace in the house. One, big reason!
I think that under the obvious pattern of
bitterness and blame lies a need for understanding why the distancing happens.
We don't even know when and how it starts; with a minor argument escalating
into a minor war or small misunderstandings or a lack of friendship. Too much
tendency to control; not enough respect? Trying to change each other; each
trying to prevail over the other? Or simply not the marrying kind but forced to
marry to please parents.
I feel a little disgusted when I hear
parents telling their son to go ahead and be a man. In short, have a good time
as long as you return to your wife. I asked one such mother, “suppose the woman
you encouraged your son to philander with was YOUR daughter? The answer was so
predictable. Aha! As long as it is not your daughter; doesn’t matter that the
other girls are also someone's daughters.
I know it is an old fashioned concept in
the promiscuous society today. What I mean is, it is the moms who actually
encourage their sons into these habits many a time.
But, coming back to breaking relationships,
the now terribly obsolete theory of marriages surviving because of kids binding
their parents together is more or less nonexistent.
Such sentiments have gone, never to return.
Trying to put parents together is a counselor’s job. And going to a therapist
is a social stigma, not to be spoken about. Many times, the husband doesn't
think HE needs it. Exactly like he doesn't want to see a doctor when they only
have daughters because it is always the woman's fault that it is so yet; one
more reason for a marriage in trouble.
And many of the reasons I have mentioned
create a chain and relationships fray and fray and fray, until something just
snaps one day. We call it "sudden" but is it really so sudden?
This is exactly like saying cancer happened
overnight. No. It just showed up as a body manifestation overnight. It was
building up for years like the lava of an active volcano.
Much introspection needed. Much conscious
thought needed. Much maturity and intelligence needed.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Tuesday, 18 December 2018
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