Equation

What do I gain or lose is a prime question in relationships today. It often takes a long time for people to understand people, even if they have lived in close proximity. In fact, especially when they have lived in close proximity, whatever the name of the relationship. Either the understanding is lacking or the population around makes minced meat of the equation, In ANY relationship.

So much wear and tear happens within our emotions and expectations that we don't see a lot of things with clarity. And, ultimately, we start feeling that we are gaining only headaches and depressions and losing our health and peace of mind. And then the inevitable happens...distances.

One of the big challenges is when there is a communication cripple confronting you who is impossible and too complicated to read unless you are a clairvoyant… And YOU are intrinsically a demonstrative and spontaneous person who subsequently , is forced to start closing up and getting all bottled up because their words are hitting a wall and coming back to hit them. It is an unnerving feeling and one that closes channels like nothing else does.

Under no circumstances can shrink or twisting personalities against your will contribute to your well being. So, the cognizance of gains and losses may be replaced by the questions of how meeting points may be arrived at, if both can will this as the course of action, of course. Between the two sides of the distance pole lies the meeting point and the way towards reducing that distance starts with the capturing of the mischievous little devil called " ego" and blindness towards those who are mischief makers because, after all, you love them, don't you ?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Opinion

We all have an opinion about something. Some of us have an opinion on everything. Healthy debates are absolutely essential. But are these opinions relevant, based on some facts or coming from a space “it is my right to express". You know, "this is a democracy and I can say what I want". Sure. We can't argue with that. Except that the consequences of those opinions are of prime importance.

We all think we are right from where we are looking at life and situations. We look at the same thing with different eyes and a different mind which is wired differently. And obviously, the conclusions we arrive at are also varied.

The only people who desist from an opinion are perhaps the suppressed, depressed or fearful or, maybe those who just don't want to go there, for falling from grace maybe or for whatever reasons.

Those who are vocal will have plenty to say. Others might follow. Like, in a theatre, there are players and there is an audience.

This world is also pretty much similar. But for every tongue that speaks, there are two ears attached. The tongue is enclosed behind the lips for a reason: to give an opinion when required only or to keep silence. And the ears are outside: to listen carefully and take in what is necessary while throwing out the garbage through the second ear. Including harmful opinions, hate inspiring opinions, wicked opinions, dishonest opinions etc.

What a wonderful vehicle (body) we humans have! And how we abuse it and misuse it! We must contribute by way of opinions. But, the cardinal rule is:

Speak for all humanity.

And it will be heard by the Almighty.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Stages

There comes a stage in your life when you don't need mush. In fact, at any given stage, what is really heartwarming is the feeling of warmth you share with someone. When someone extends hospitality and you reciprocate in equal measure. When you remember the small things you have done for each other, when you understand each other's circumstances without expectations.

Putting your best foot forward is done to impress initially. But it doesn't last. As a relationship deepens, superficiality gives way to a maturity and mutual respect. There may be a few such equations but they are the ultimate in satisfaction.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Introspection

At some point in time, we have to answer one important question to ourselves, and that is, what does each of us stand for? This introspection is most important for those who don't have a perspective or have not explored this within themselves.

We don't realize that our self esteem largely depends on this. When you don't take a stand or your stand is that you don't want to take a stand at all is when you are divided into several people within yourselves, each saying a different thing and initiating a perpetual tug of war.

To live meaningfully, it is essential to live by a set of rules, ideologies, norms and goals which determine and define YOU. So, when you are not happy or taking your identity from how others perceive you, you have yet to come into your own.

The idea is not to get swept away by the tide but to use resistance so as to stand upright even around quick sands and when to resist and how much to resist is the evidence of a dawning wisdom and of standing in your own space with conviction.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Almighty

The karma theory does not always sit well on people who feel they have been targeted unnecessarily without any provocation. And wronged, Also made to pay a very heavy price, sometimes for most of their lives. Overtly and examined at face value, it is a believable "truth”, though a subjective one. The question is, why do certain things happen to certain people only? Why not to others? There are many unseen reactions and belief systems at work behind the scenes which are not "seen" and therefore, people may end up believing in a partial truth or even the illusion of truth which they can understand.

Once karma hits without warning, and what is perceived as a gross injustice by the injured party towards the perpetrator turns into a wound, karma is not a reason they will believe. They call it preaching because it has not been experienced by the person who speaks of karma. But, truly, I don't think I know anyone who has NOT seen the theory "what goes around comes around" work in their lives. Often, it takes many years to even start bearing the consequences of karma based on its quality. But it DOES come to fruition.

The crucial point for us humans is not to wish ill to those who have worked against us because the rewards or otherwise come from above very scientifically and clinically. There is no need for humans to take this onus upon themselves, because that would not be their business. The equation is between the doer and the Almighty.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Purity

Envy makes people do one of the two things: either putting down the object of envy directly, or deliberately putting up other people in their presence, especially when in a group.

Forget methods for a minute! It is just so sad that there is that need to feel envious.

I remember the simple question we were asked in school. How do you shorten a line without touching it? And the answer was, by drawing a bigger line next to it. Very positive!

But in this case, it is hardly positive. The method is the same but intentions so different. It is really the intention that determines all action and outcome. And the origin of any intention is either positive or negative.

Simple! If we kill to save or protect a life, that is positive. But if we are overly generous but inwardly not well wishers, whatever we do lacks purity, because the intention lacks purity.

Purity is simple. And positive intention is simple, too. There are no layers of deviousness there, nor required either.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Involvement

Our spiritual texts speak of the third person perspective. A common parlance is also to be clinical. To keep your emotions away to stay out of involvement. But really, if you learn to observe people, it is an extremely interesting pastime. A study of humanities, humaneness and inhumanity as well. Without judgment and as an observer.

I have found that if you start doing this, gradually that observation starts to turn into introspection. Because you start sensing your own response, however clinical you may try to be. It is impossible to be 100 percent clinical. Even sadhus have feelings. But they are better with detachment than we are.

There is a constant learning this way, both at the macro and micro levels. And there is a wonderful side effect in that you feel light and happy, and hopefully, wiser, too.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Reliability

There cannot be a better character trait than standing by your family and friends. Sadly, people change relationships like they change their attire. Actually, if you can't stand by others, the deep seated meaning of this is that somewhere, deep down, you haven't been able to stand by yourself.

We live by the courage of our convictions, those who don’t keep changing their convictions. And each time that this happens, they look for a change of people around them. The unfortunate part is that when you don't have a relationship with yourself, you tend to become rather like a rudderless ship. Like a ship passing in the night that never docks.

Life can't be lived like this, can it? One has to have loyalties and the strength to be with people because you have given them love, even if they sometimes have feet of clay. Don't we all? You don't abandon each other for being human, as long as humaneness is retained.

Opportunism is a close trait where loyalties fail. Going the way the wind blows. Reliability on these people would be a grave mistake. You will never know where you stand with them. There is also loyalty among thieves as we know. I am not referring to such loyalty. I speak of the kind of loyalty where you are of support in good times and bad times based on good value systems, because you care. Nothing less...though, could be more.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Exhilarating feeling

You know what the greatest sense of freedom is? When people actually stop affecting you! It is an exhilarating feeling. We store and store and store all kinds of feelings based on all kinds of reactions. And what we really end up doing is tying ourselves up in so many knots...and we seethe and resent and god knows what!! Actually, the quality of our life takes a dip.

Imagine then, if we just stop and take a deep breath and just let go all that we are holding onto!! Wow! Instant freedom! I can hear voices saying, "but it is not so easy". And I say, yes. But it is not so difficult either if you make up your mind.

Stonewalling reactions should be taught from school because we do it so spontaneously! Without thinking.

Once you stop letting yourself get affected, you can smile your way through any situation. And it makes you feel a sense of release and a sense of being in control of your life.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Child depression

Child depression has become a huge issue in the world of today. There were unwanted children, neglected children even earlier in time. However, the sole reason for stress in as young as school children today is the paucity of love, lack of opportunity, devaluation of merit and a desperate run towards. Just to name a few. There is much depression in children, visible and subtle, and it runs deep.

The new and upcoming affluence can demonstrate cluelessness. Some may be struggling to keep abreast of the rapid changes and not being too successful in giving a comprehensive education.

The thumb rule is, we give what we have. Rich parents give material things for the asking. They have money to burn. And thus, their kids burn their lives in it. The educated class ensures the education of their kids. The middle class has motivation and ambition to give their children because they have to and need to teach their kids to become earning citizens. There is not much to fall back on. Lower income groups struggle to give to their children period.

There is so much available out there that much of the depression comes from complete deprivation, the inability to procure what others seem to have. The pressure just to BE is unbelievable.

Somehow, in life, these are the things that matter. You tend to see only that. You seldom focus on those who give or want to give you happiness because they have it and know the value. Ironically, everyone wants it but no one wants to learn about how it can become a part of you. The more they run, the more elusive it becomes.

And when you don't look for the right ingredients, automatically, you fail to draw the attention of your children to the meaningful achievements. And children learn by example.

Unfortunately, parents very often live through their children. This is yet another big source of depression in children today. Fulfilling the ambition of their parents. Being pushed where they don't want to be. Bearing burdens they are too young to shoulder. Growing up before they have enjoyed childhood. Also, misusing childhood because they either have not been taught better or are swayed by the blinding light of parties and temptations, failing to see the darkness behind that blinding light...and everything blind needs eyes of wisdom.

We have much work to dispel that darkness within innocent minds and give them love, hope and a direction , not missing out the most important one: the spiritual one : the way back to their real source.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Aspects

With social evils like "sati" abolished, women got their right to life. But that was just one aspect. We still have a long way to go. Can you notice how the genuine moral support of the government today has brought many maladies like triple talaq, rape etc to a point of revolt, discussion and solution? Women who lived in fear are beginning to come out and raise their voices against the injustices meted out to them. All because finally, the right issues are being aired and laws are being passed to arrest the further growth of the "jungle raj”.

The light coming in to the world of men is being blocked desperately by the dark souls of humans but this time, they may not succeed in spreading further darkness. I am hopeful!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Phases

Sometimes, you go through a phase where you meet the same kind of people again and again…like a repeated pattern. In negativity, you attract negative people and in positivity the positive people. At the same time, there is an unseen film of past karmas that plays in the background simultaneously. We also start attracting those people and events which stun us, are overwhelming and inevitable. We tell ourselves we don't deserve this.

What we call "bad" days or "bad" phases are often of this nature. Some call it the impact of "shani". We must look for a reason, of course. Or an object to transfer blame to acquit ourselves. If truth were to be told, what we tackle day to day is a mix of our own choices and our compromises of those choices. And in all these choices, there is a definite play of our thoughts and actions from the past, some of which mould our present. Those who are within serious spiritual practices get to see more of these challenges in their lives, tests that must be passed before a further elevation is granted.

I have noticed that there is opaqueness in the experience of karma, too. Like, people working behind the scenes and sudden exposure to events orchestrated meticulously behind the scenes...things like that. Dramatic! But true. Anyways, we must deal with such phases without going down and under and hope that our constant companion will be courage. For all times.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Comparison

An excerpt from Kangana Ranaut's interview : " I think somewhere, women don't have acceptance for themselves. Women don't support women, and this matter should be brought to light ( through films). Though they share a bond, I still feel that we don't support each other the way we should. Like, at the smallest of things, we see girls make fun of girls themselves, our nature and how we look at each other as the inferior sex. So, somewhere, this needs to be deactivated."

I was mulling over this comment and finding some truth alright. Apart from this being a cut throat world, women have been losing out due to personality issues. Sure, there are many women's organizations and travel groups but.....

They call it a man's world because they unite for a cause and their solidarity does often overtake that of women. They also tend to move on faster than women without focusing too much on petty issues. Traditionally, women were not insecure. In the Vedic age, women were strong and wise and lived shoulder to shoulder with the men. But later in history, they came to be called a weaker lot, dependent on the male. More so, after the moghul invasion. And today, when women are coming out of their shell, they will probably have to go through a period of transition till they start supporting each other for a greater cause of connectivity and look for a connection in each other rather than comparison.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Energy

More people should go into learning and practicing energy work. Even those who don't know Reiki symbols or Panic Healing can start by becoming aware of everything within and without as energy. The moment you create the awareness, you start feeling that energy.

Today, we add the popular prefix "e" to every enterprise...like e commerce, e publishing etc. Similarly, we also have "e motion” and "e" go...e for energy in this case.

E motion is simply energy in motion. E go also implies movement.( go) These are energies in motion which we need in life but transmuted as positive energy.

Without feelings and emotions, we would be like dry, barren land. Without ego, we would not know how to balance our inner and outer worlds.

But there is a difference to be made in using emotions for peace and harmony and manifesting the connectivity and oneness aspects as opposed to excessive detrimental emotions causing conflict and war.

Speaking of ego, it accelerates the pace of lessons to be learnt in self control, balancing the male and female aspects of one and speaking universal truths without ego and with humility and understanding.

Understanding energy is extremely enlightening, informative and transformatory. I sincerely advocate an interest in this direction.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Exposure

There is a dire need for exposure of minds. Exposure to what is going on in the world, keeping abreast of events and understanding their connection with our inner worlds.

I see young adults who are caught up with either technology or TV /music shows and friends. There is a lot to be said about venturing out there and inviting the exposure, to listen to experienced voices, do a lot of reading, and participate in organizations and groups: all this for evolution.

Sometimes, you see closed minds and see them typically self absorbed. And you want to tell them that they are depriving themselves of beautiful experiences. But these are either not interested or unreasonably judgmental about staying within their space. Or maybe, it is reasonable in their book.

As someone said, it is their journey. Time is of no essence. The route you travel is meant for you until it changes or you yourself decide to change it.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Changes

Amidst all the change and transition that is happening, I am not surprised that those who have reached the pits of degeneration are gasping for breath and struggling to avoid getting completely choked by their own misdeeds. Evidently, they had been so drunk on their power since so many years that they had forgotten that there is nothing like permanence. It would be amusing if it were not so tragic to see some senior politicians who lay out a trap for others, getting caught in its them.

When will this stop? We are paying a price for the "free for all” environment that the people of this country have become used to. Now, when the degeneration is being curbed and reversed, and they are being reined in, they cry foul.

We must examine the intention behind the rules that are being resented.

In childhood, we were not allowed to do certain things. When we became adults, many went a little haywire and some more than just a little.

At any age, a crisis situation must be averted even if it requires drastic and unpalatable changes. If we had not done that under the leadership of Mahatma Gandhi, we would still have been a British colony. (But we have a short memory.) Of course, we would not have had a neighbor like Pakistan either.

So, what should our priority be? No contest here. It should be a spirit of nationalism and secularism, tolerance and peaceful existence with an equal opportunity for all. But between this goal and the current reality, there lies a great chasm that has to be filled with an indomitable, persistent will to work hard and achieve this goal. Can it happen in a day, a month or a year even? Not if we blame and criticize instead of contributing to the momentum of the visualized growth. We are so pathetic that we don't even know how lucky we are that there is a dependable leader today. And there is hope. You can see this at every rally, the latest being Surat. Has the whole country gone crazy then, to support him? No. Not at all.

If the media was not so busy turning everything into a debate and controversy, we would be able to see the ground reality. As someone said, the PM is a visionary but the people around him should have faith and help in manifesting that vision. If India was minus the irresponsible and dangerous opposition leaders, evolution would move at breakneck speed. I guess, the "kundali" (astrological chart) of India must already be showing the impending ineffectiveness and the symbolic self immolation of this type of politician. These people are and will keep digging their own graves while India will move forward despite the formidable challenges of today.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Conversation

I think I understand why people don't share heart to heart conversations anymore. Or rarely... it is not easy to understand the pain of others for the simple reason that each one's intensity of feeling the pain and the reasons for the pain are distinctive to each person. What won't touch me will probably scar someone else for life. And while I could be clinical , the other person could feel suffocated with an unimaginable tide of grief.

Ultimately, life is about how much you can reconcile yourself to. How much numbness you develop before you start to get into the kind of drug induced slumber that knocks off your brain for a few hours.

Count your blessings...one, two, three......calm down! You are alone with your pain. And you have to get your own power and control back. For one, stop giving importance to that feeling which is likely to drown you. Cleanse your energy before it breaks you and brings you to a point of no return. Create space around to build up the capacity for movement. The last thing you need is to stand still within the muddied swamp of pain which no one can pull you out of but yourself.

So, share your feelings with yourself, then expel them from your system and relax with a smile and a charminar!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari