Human nature

Getting disturbed by anything that we don't like and is actually happening is human nature. But everything we react negatively to is not bad for us. In fact, some of it is good for us. For example, if you are in a painful, unhappy relationship and it breaks naturally, it is, in fact, a release.

Conscious thinking keeps us abreast of such happenings and gives us the correct perspective and enables us to take a dispassionate view of every thought and happening. Conscious thought leads to conscious behavior which is more balanced than behavior dictated by the ego and defiance.

So, we look at the eye of the storm and then use our wisdom to determine its outcome that is relevant in our lives. And we will find that when storms blow over, often there is relief and peace in our lives. Every storm doesn't have to leave us devastated.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Reliability

There cannot be a better character trait than standing by your family and friends. Sadly, people change relationships like they change their attire. Actually, if you can't stand by others, the deep seated meaning of this is that somewhere, deep down, you haven't been able to stand by yourself.

We live by the courage of our convictions, those who don’t keep changing their convictions. And each time that this happens, they look for a change of people around them. The unfortunate part is that when you don't have a relationship with yourself, you tend to become rather like a rudderless ship. Like a ship passing in the night that never docks.

Life can't be lived like this, can it? One has to have loyalties and the strength to be with people because you have given them love, even if they sometimes have feet of clay. Don't we all? You don't abandon each other for being human, as long as humaneness is retained.

Opportunism is a close trait where loyalties fail. Going the way the wind blows. Reliability on these people would be a grave mistake. You will never know where you stand with them. There is also loyalty among thieves as we know. I am not referring to such loyalty. I speak of the kind of loyalty where you are of support in good times and bad times based on good value systems, because you care. Nothing less...though, could be more.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Group behavior

The human mind can be really fickle if we don't watch out! Its likes and dislikes oscillate much more than the changing seasons. Maybe, in current times, the seasons are also becoming as unpredictable as people.

We must really ask ourselves why we are so lacking in consistency and why should our will prevail each time? This seems to be a huge reason for our inconsistency. "I"..."Mine"...Yes sir! We salute you. It is and has to be only you and you... amazing! And this would also be fine if there were no frequent variations in what came out of that "I" and "mine". But the inconsistencies within short term consistencies which I am calling "fickle" here seem to be endless.

Especially when in a group. Group behavior, if you notice, is a typical example. A few days back, I wrote about insecurities. Frequently changing parameters of emotions are directly linked to the very same insecurities.

Often, we misinterpret, and sometimes, wantonly misinterpret the words or acts of people we are not too fond of or are even envious of. Where is the core issue? Of course, within us. We actually don't have the courage to be ourselves and fall short in our own eyes.

So, fickleness leads to oscillations, and this soon becomes a chain. Like riding a bike downhill without a break. We don't know how and where we are going to end up. Because the bike is driven by "I" and "mine" whereas the consistency is due to the ability to control the brakes .These are the "we" which we fail to activate.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Life Journey

Whenever we judge people, we are indirectly telling ourselves that we are better than them. The truth is, if your mind is open and your intention is learning and growing, evolving to higher levels, you will find you can learn something from everyone.

But when the mind is not clear, we choose that we won't mind learning from someone we like but not from someone we dislike. We grudge the latter their wisdom, their maturity. Very childish on our part. Because ultimately, WE lose out, not them. Like cutting our nose to spite our face kind of situation.

The problems in the world today arise somewhat from such polluted attitudes. We forget that we are travelling in a moving train where we will have to get off one day. We forget that the actual day of judgment is not when our ego judges someone but when WE are judged after our life.

I am amazed at what I see each day. You start with a shock, and then shock after shock at the way humans behave with each other and often due to small or not so small misunderstandings. Sometimes, rigidities. Often due to insecurities. Or, sometimes, it is just a huge ego and so on, until one day, it results in shock no more.

THAT is the day when your journey of detachment begins. The sooner , the better because attachment can make you so vulnerable that it has the power to kill, at least to make you physically very ill.

Dying of heartbreak and hurt is not something you want to do. So, let every experience make you mentally and spiritually stronger every day. As they say, you can either swim or sink.

This is for all those people who love too much and unconditionally. If you do, do it as an act of God. And practice this: "Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do", cleanse your mind and move on. No one is going to be with you all the time. A gentle reminder! Your journey is alone, my friends.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Need or Want?

Very early in life, we were taught that patience is one of the most coveted qualities and is a part of learned behavior. I have learnt that it is in proportion with our needs and their fulfillment. The law of demand and supply is directly proportionate to our levels of patience. It is a need of a baby to be fed instantaneously when it is hungry. These are called “demand feeds” because patience is an unknown word to the little baby. But as age advances, the natural needs change into wants, a scenario where patience AND ethics take a back seat many a time. 

“I can’t wait “is a common phrase heard everywhere, whether it pertains to a simple need like “needing” to go for a movie, or, a more compelling one like “needing” to become a multi millionaire. Both are wants, not needs. At some point, most of us start using the words “want” and “need “ as synonyms, though they are far from being synonyms. “I “want” this because it is my “need”, is a common place feeling. Our mind cannot separate the two because our needs become wants over a period of time. What we want is not necessarily what we need. Our needs are basic to our survival while on this earth, whereas our wants are inspired by a desire for excesses, extras, and greed for “just a little more”. The latter are imbalances of ego driven insecurities and desires within us. When our wants start multiplying, it means we are indulging ourselves and craving for more than what is needed to sustain us through life.

When it is a question of wanting, we are like instant coffee. Everything must be achieved NOW. I used to teach vocal music to a few students who wanted to perform after doing four or five classes when we had practiced for years to reach a common minimum standard. It is understandable that getting an endorsement or approval from others is great feeling. But those who have their goal defined and the determination and perseverance to achieve it with patience are more likely to have the depth of knowledge to be successful. Patience is a long path to amazing rewards. “Too much too soon” does not define wisdom. I guess, the satisfaction of a need is its own reward but the satisfaction of a want breeds more and more “wanting” to which the satiation levels are not well defined or guaranteed.

At the same time, we also need to ask ourselves how much we need in order to be happy. Not much really! If we didn’t seek our identities in the eyes of other people, we would lead a much more stress free life and also be satisfied with what we have. Our “wants” are perhaps more for social recognition than anything else. Many of us have more than we need and some have much more than they will ever need.

Philosophers and Thinkers have always emphasized the concept of “simple living and high thinking” for a good reason. The more we get involved with comparisons of material gains and walk into the race for “one upmanship”, the more our wants increase, gradually becoming out of control. The imbalance thus caused shifts the focus from what we are here to achieve as spiritual beings to illusory gains in a temporary world, a world which we are actually just passing through in our journey. For a very short lived satisfaction, therefore, are we digressing from our evolutionary path?

The time for introspection is now.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com