Blessings

In the earlier years, we were taught to touch the feet of all elders. The blessing of elders was of prime importance. We were told that a blessing was a form of energy that was transmitted from the elders to us when we touched their toes. And this energy was packaged with love and affection and the good will that emanates from close bonds.

It is a blessing to belong to a family where such thoughts are given importance and such feelings exist.

Blessings go a long way. They cleanse the one who gives and the one who receives. So, in every situation, just bless, bless and keep blessing, without worrying unduly about the motives and feelings of others. It is really not relevant to us since we only bless and let go.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Level of faith

I find the fuss about genders very shallow. I mean, so... there are women and there are men. I may as well be saying, there are lions and deer’s, or roses and lilies. All creations of the Almighty.

Don't you think all this fuss is that of just being unable to accept that creation is made up of various forms, humans, animals and birds, nature, the flora fauna? We fail to see the unified field behind the various forms. Our main but invisible link. Unfortunately, we are very focused merely on the apparent and visible differences of forms. Like, when we are so engrossed in a movie, we fail to see the steady and unmoving screen on which the movie is being projected. Without which there would be no movie at all.

The actual consciousness of being a particular gender or the obsession with this has a very valid reason. We don't remember but we have had different gender roles in our past lives and the memory of this resides in our subconscious. Sometime or other, our personalities may come alive within us when triggers happen. The truth is, we are both female and male inside us. But we deny it while role playing. We are not comfortable in our skin perhaps. Coupled with this is our mind conditioning, of playing gender based roles.

It’s only when we connect on the level of faith and love and equality that we can start respecting all life on this earth. Instead of being intolerant and separatist based on personal preferences. Only then will the social evils that we see in our society today will be a thing of the past.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Transformation

Right from the time of birth, we are changing constantly. As children, we listen to parents. When we become a little older, going to school is the first big adjustment. Freedom comes along. Exposure comes along. And with every influence, within the family first and later, the outside influence, changes a human being constantly. There are paradigm shifts in belief systems, styles of living etc.

A fusion of many types of cultures, thinking patterns sometimes confuse, sometimes help in clearing the mind.

In this process, some become better and evolved while some become bitter and disillusioned with life.

Belief systems, unless we have an open mind, tend to make for a certain rigidity which can become our worst enemy, like stagnant water which breeds diseases. Rigid belief systems are often like a disease. They block out the light of each new day.

The catch word is "change", whether the ability or the inability to do so. On this depends the transformation into betterment or bitterness.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Blame game

The blame game! We have done it ever since we can remember and still continue with it. I guess it is always easier to blame something else or someone else for the plight we find ourselves in. That "plight" we are in needs attention and analysis.

Once we accept that we make the choices for our lives, all arguments become meaningless. But that is being rational. You will find that people who are strong in energy make choices for themselves which is fine.

But rationality does not always prevail. On the flip side, there are others who are weak in energy, who will blame the earth if they fall, blame the family for a bad marriage and so on… everyone except themselves. Not only are miserable, they also make others around them miserable.

And it is so much depletion of energy all over. If only we learn to accept that we are largely responsible for what transpires in our lives, we can change things around for a total transformation in our lives. Because we can't change the external environment or people. But we can work at our own attitudes and knowledge. When we are young, we go through conditioning. But as adults, with education, observation and analysis, we should be able to understand the futility of the blame game and the impact of taking responsibility for our lives.

                 

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Generalization

People are people, in various degrees of dark and light shades. Is it our acceptability which is suspect then? To brand family as negative smacks of a perspective where the only colors available are black and white...no gray, which is also a realistic color of life? 

When friends fall out with friends, and when family supports us, what will all our slogan be? “Thank God for family?”

Generalizations are odious! Branding people is even worse. If we have such colored perceptions, we need healing. Everyone is family to some and friend to some. When you grow up within a family set up, the familiarity aspect can curtail personal space.

When we turn away from generalizations only can we look at our belief system in a different way and consequently, learn to look at those around us minus built up prejudices. Once we are prejudiced, we build a wall around us and don’t often notice that people don’t always remain the same. They also change, whether they are family members or friends.

                       

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Living in the Past

Memoirs are what memories create. Some happiness, some tears, some agony. As we grow older, we seem to start dwelling on the past very naturally. I always used to wonder why the older generation talks so much about their past. I guess, when we are younger, there is so much to look forward to. Our energy levels are high and life seems to stretch in front of our line of vision as having many goals to look forward to. Towards the evening of our lives, a saturation point is reached for many people. Some others retire from their workplace because they have to. Some pass on their work to the next generation. Some opt to resign and take life easy after many years of hard work.

For all of these people, there seem to be many experiences in the past to talk about. There is a lot of learning there for those who listen. But, to handle a phase of inactivity or less activity can get very difficult as well. Not everyone can accept this phase graciously.

Our sense of self esteem depends hugely on how occupied we are, and, more important, how this places us in the eyes of the world. When our identity comes from the approval of others, anonymity can be very unsettling. If life can be viewed as a series of phases, it would be easier to accept changes, both within ourselves and the external set of circumstances.

What is really the issue here is that there is little to look forward to. There are no new goals for many. Actually, the world has opened up so many opportunities that we can learn something new every day. Recently, I saw a computer class with seventy year old individuals and I was thrilled! When so many new vistas open up the Mind, and we have the child within us alive and motivated enough to keep learning, the present and future become so exciting that the past ceases to be a compulsive memory and remains dormant within us, to be brought up at will when lessons from it need to be remembered.

The productive use of each present moment is the key to living rather than existing on past memories just because we don’t see anything before us that would adorn our present and future.

        Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Personality Challenges

We all know the saying, “you can take the horse to the water but you can’t make it drink”. I have experienced this as a therapist and have been amazed at this phenomenon. Is it for real that human beings KNOW that they need healing but still persist in building up more reasons for healing through more negative actions. Why is this so? Let me create some awareness on this point.

The first reason is past life karma. If the person has come to experience karmic issues from another life, it is possible that triggers for change may not happen until the experience is completely over. Old karmas need to be lived out. Only with an awareness and acceptance of what IS will come the realization of what CAN BE. In such cases, an individual can make a conscious choice to heal the issue / s.

The second reason may be a conscious resistance to heal that could have occurred due to an energy attachment from the outside which may not want to heal and therefore, does not allow the individual to become aware or seek help. Very often, when we are vulnerable, the resulting weakness may cause our aura to be perforated or broken. At such times, external energies can walk into our aura, disturb it and alter our personality so much that we even start thinking and living like that energy did when it was alive. These may be deceased energies that don’t transit into the light. It could also be other unseen energies.

The third issue may be an inherent suspicion in the healing modalities and process which comes from a space of fear of the unknown and the insecurity of giving the control in the hands of a therapist. The pre condition for healing is intention, faith and consistency.

Another huge reason is living in denial. I have seen many people blocking people from their lives, avoiding places and living in a make believe world because they don’t want to come out of the box they have climbed into, the box that gives them a certain amount of comfort to enable them to live with themselves. Such clients, when they have been cajoled into seeking therapy have often sat before me in sullen silence, not communicating and mostly, avoiding eye contact and looking towards the floor. Needless to say, neither counseling nor therapy has been possible in such cases.

People who want to transform through healing sometimes, in their lack of understanding and knowledge, come to me thinking I have a magic wand which will make everything alright. I want to emphasize the role of taking personal responsibility for healing oneself. Every day, some amount of negative build up happens with most people. Our daily routine must necessarily incorporate cleansing practices like Chakra cleansing, Pranayama and meditation to keep our minds relatively clean and functioning with clarity and compassion.

I absolutely recommend trying to live from your heart and diminish the ego. The heart does not lie. Love and fear are the two main universal energies and it doesn’t take a genius to make a choice between the two.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

“Hindutva: The Misunderstood Philosophy”

Our ego driven insecurities have colored our vision so much that we have conveniently given narrow and perhaps negative connotation to words like “Hindutva”. This word is not merely a word but a philosophy, a way of life. Just as “guru” symbolizes the essence of the qualities of “gurutva”, “Hindutva” symbolizes the principles of life given to the people of India.

The divisive forces interpret “Hindutva” as an intolerant and fanatic religion of the Hindus. I beg to differ. While Hinduism is the religion followed by Hindus, the term “Hindutva” is inclusive of the entire “Hindustan” which we call India. There is a huge difference. “Hindustan” is the land of all Indians.

It is important to note that “Hindustan” should not be considered synonymous with Hindus. This is a basic interpretation which colors this unique country as a land of Hindus only, a complete fallacy.

“Hindutva” is the body of codes of conduct, a philosophy that citizens of Hindustan shall follow, a set of norms based solely on spirituality which is not religion oriented as has often been falsely indoctrinated in people . Intrinsically, it spells out that Indians should abide by its democratic nature of governance and regulation of society on the principle of secularism, based on rights to freedom, equality and education for all. It symbolizes secularism as the larger framework within which these shall be the right of every citizen. It respects the freedom of all the people irrespective of religious preferences, case and creed and their harmonious co existence while practicing their own individual belief systems, above all, while accepting those of others.

Now, anything which is distorted or taken advantage of for specific, “unholy” gains such as the communal divides or brain washing of people to deviate from their right beliefs to the ones inculcated with the carrot and stick policy by a few, are practices which need reforms.

Symbolizing my thoughts is a beautiful story I want to share. Peace, Wealth and Love came to the door of a poor couple and asked to be hosted. The condition was that they could choose only one of the three. The couple debated among themselves and decided to invite Love in because they could not live without love. When they stepped aside for Love to walk in, Peace and Wealth also started walking in. When the surprised couple asked why all three were walking in, Peace and Wealth said that they always accompanied Love wherever Love went. This is not only a story but a universal truth which is time tested and found to be completely true when practiced.

To conclude, no religion has advocated non acceptance, intolerance or destruction of any kind. Why then don’t we CHOOSE love, peace and harmony, so evidently the first choice for any sane person?

Love means compassion, tolerance and acceptance. This is also the base of “Hindutva “as I understand it on a deeper, spiritual level. I have often been cynically accused of being an “idealist”. I take this as a compliment. You see, I am not a cynic.

Surekha Kothari

http://www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

Transforming Flaws

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her shoulders. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water to the lady’s house. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For two years, this went on daily, with the lady bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfections and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman by the stream one day. “I am ashamed of myself because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.” The old woman smiled and said, “Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side?” “That’s because I have always known about your flaw and so, I planted flower seeds on your side of the path. Every day, while we walk back, you water them. For two years, I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not have been this beauty to grace my house. ”

How beautiful and touching is this story someone sent me recently! Each of us has our own unique flaws. It is these very cracks and flaws that make our lives so interesting and rewarding if we had the vision to turn them into assets.

This story also sends us a message that we have to accept people for what they are and look for the good in them. There is also the other side of actually turning the flaws into opportunities just the way the Chinese lady did. Very often, we criticize the flaws and end up shunning the person with the flaws. But, as we all know, change is just beyond our perception of an end. There is always scope for improvement and reform. The crack is only that which is visible to the limited mind. The possibilities of working around the crack and making use of it lies in the creativity of the mind. The distance from the realm of the impossible to the realm of the possible can be covered only by an intelligent and adventurous mind that never tires or admits defeat.

Just as the lotus manages to shine in the midst of stagnant water and a rose among the thorns, the human being can stand tall amidst all negativity, on the strength of a dauntless character and effervescent personality.

Surekha Kothari

http://www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

PONDERINGS

As I turn the pages of my book of life, I remember the bitter sweet experiences that make me who I am today and waiting to become a "better" and "better" me as time goes by. I know this will happen with a constant vigil and awareness. The meaning of each extra day in my life has become amplified as I move into the phase of the setting sun, knowing that this is just a perception and life is eternal. I was, am and always will be.

The strange thing is that what I felt with so much intensity in the earlier phases have transformed from emotional baggage to learning. I feel blessed that this has happened. Rancour has no place within me. 

I realize that guilt for mistakes made is merely a sign of ignorance because mistakes are only perceptions of past results. Storing guilt, resentment or any emotional baggage connected with the past would be indicative of the fact that I have not moved on. More so, I also may have managed to color my psyche with some amount of pollution of thought and emotion which, in future, will definitely harm me. Is it worth it?

As I hear story after story of my clients lives, I understand why I became a healer. I had some karmic lessons to learn. Agony and pain remain intact until the dawn of awareness and with it, some relief from a super fragile ego that blinds us to the pain of others and focuses on the self only. The perception of "mine" and "thine" implies attachment to people, events and experiences. I don’t relish those feelings anymore because somewhere, deep down, I am left with a sense of loneliness I have brought upon myself with my myopic attitude. So, I must grow and grow further until I peel off every layer of pollution that I don't need in my life. Thus, I move from darkness into light.

Surekha Kothari          

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

“MEANINGLESS GOALS”

A farmer had a dog that used to sit by the roadside waiting for vehicles to come around. As soon as one came he would run down the road, barking and trying to overtake it. One day a neighbor asked the farmer “Do you think your dog is ever going to catch a car?” The farmer replied, “That is not what bothers me. What bothers me is what he would do if he ever caught one.”

Many people in life behave like that dog who is pursuing meaningless goals. There is always a personal definition of “meaningless” for each of us. Life has so much to offer that it is often very difficult to make the right choices for ourselves. Sometimes, we may think we have made them, but the resulting experience may ring hollow. So, there is little satisfaction in the whole exercise.

The good news is that this kind of experience helps us search further and this search takes us forward in our journey towards evolution. We need to know what to do, of course, but it is also equally important to understand what not to do.

I see many judgmental people who are looking at the lives of others with a microscope. If we really think about it, do we really know what the components of someone else’s journey are? It is very possible that what we perceive as “meaningless” may be very meaningful in their journey. So, again, “meaningless” becomes a very subjective feeling.

Taking off from the story of the dog, maybe, its journey of chasing cars is exciting. Maybe, it will get tired when it gets tired and then, starts to look for something else which may excite him.

The thought I am attempting to present here is, there is nothing meaningless in life. Everything happens for a reason because everything has a built in lesson for us. Maybe, the owner of the dog should have chased cars to see what lies in that experience.

The learning is, do what your heart tell you. Be happy. Everything works if there is a flow of energy that doesn’t create any blocks. Every breath we take is also an experience because we really don’t know if it going to be our last one.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

Need or Want?

Very early in life, we were taught that patience is one of the most coveted qualities and is a part of learned behavior. I have learnt that it is in proportion with our needs and their fulfillment. The law of demand and supply is directly proportionate to our levels of patience. It is a need of a baby to be fed instantaneously when it is hungry. These are called “demand feeds” because patience is an unknown word to the little baby. But as age advances, the natural needs change into wants, a scenario where patience AND ethics take a back seat many a time. 

“I can’t wait “is a common phrase heard everywhere, whether it pertains to a simple need like “needing” to go for a movie, or, a more compelling one like “needing” to become a multi millionaire. Both are wants, not needs. At some point, most of us start using the words “want” and “need “ as synonyms, though they are far from being synonyms. “I “want” this because it is my “need”, is a common place feeling. Our mind cannot separate the two because our needs become wants over a period of time. What we want is not necessarily what we need. Our needs are basic to our survival while on this earth, whereas our wants are inspired by a desire for excesses, extras, and greed for “just a little more”. The latter are imbalances of ego driven insecurities and desires within us. When our wants start multiplying, it means we are indulging ourselves and craving for more than what is needed to sustain us through life.

When it is a question of wanting, we are like instant coffee. Everything must be achieved NOW. I used to teach vocal music to a few students who wanted to perform after doing four or five classes when we had practiced for years to reach a common minimum standard. It is understandable that getting an endorsement or approval from others is great feeling. But those who have their goal defined and the determination and perseverance to achieve it with patience are more likely to have the depth of knowledge to be successful. Patience is a long path to amazing rewards. “Too much too soon” does not define wisdom. I guess, the satisfaction of a need is its own reward but the satisfaction of a want breeds more and more “wanting” to which the satiation levels are not well defined or guaranteed.

At the same time, we also need to ask ourselves how much we need in order to be happy. Not much really! If we didn’t seek our identities in the eyes of other people, we would lead a much more stress free life and also be satisfied with what we have. Our “wants” are perhaps more for social recognition than anything else. Many of us have more than we need and some have much more than they will ever need.

Philosophers and Thinkers have always emphasized the concept of “simple living and high thinking” for a good reason. The more we get involved with comparisons of material gains and walk into the race for “one upmanship”, the more our wants increase, gradually becoming out of control. The imbalance thus caused shifts the focus from what we are here to achieve as spiritual beings to illusory gains in a temporary world, a world which we are actually just passing through in our journey. For a very short lived satisfaction, therefore, are we digressing from our evolutionary path?

The time for introspection is now.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

Living in the Past

Memoirs are what memories create. Some happiness, some tears, some agony. As we grow older, we seem to start dwelling on the past very naturally. I always used to wonder why the older generation talks so much about their past. I guess, when we are younger, there is so much to look forward to. Our energy levels are high and life seems to stretch in front of our line of vision as having many goals to look forward to. Towards the evening of our lives, a saturation point is reached for many people. Some others retire from their workplace because they have to. Some pass on their work to the next generation. Some opt to resign and take life easy after many years of hard work.

For all of these people, there seem to be many experiences in the past to talk about. There is a lot of learning there for those who listen. But, to handle a phase of inactivity or less activity can get very difficult as well. Not everyone can accept this phase graciously.

Our sense of self esteem depends hugely on how occupied we are, and, more important, how this places us in the eyes of the world. When our identity comes from the approval of others, anonymity can be very unsettling. If life can be viewed as a series of phases, it would be easier to accept changes, both within ourselves and the external set of circumstances.

What is really the issue here is that there is little to look forward to. There are no new goals for many. Actually, the world has opened up so many opportunities that we can learn something new every day. Recently, I saw a computer class with seventy year old individuals and I was thrilled! When so many new vistas open up the Mind, and we have the child within us alive and motivated enough to keep learning, the present and future become so exciting that the past ceases to be a compulsive memory and remains dormant within us , to be brought up at will when lessons from it need to be remembered.

The productive use of each present moment is the key to living rather than existing on past memories just because we don’t see anything before us that would adorn our present and future.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

ARE YOU LISTENING?

“I hear you” is a very common phrase. But is that enough? The counter question would be, “but are you listening?” Have you noticed that very often, when we are talking to someone, their eyes are somewhere else and their minds are visibly wandering? I have often stopped midway in my sentence and felt really foolish to realize that I am talking to myself. It is as if I have been addressing a wall all the while.

I wonder if people are aware of their actions at such times. Where are those simple people who genuinely care and share love, empathy and compassion only because that is vital to the quality of a human being?

The cacophony of sounds caused by our own screaming desires is probably sufficient to tune out any external voices. The complexities of our wants and the imbalances of our emotions are greatly responsible for our inability to rise above ourselves to focus on someone whose life can be transformed just by listening and understanding, by lending not only our ears but also our hearts to them. Only then does one actually start to “listen” to others with concern for them.

We tend to “hear” voices like we hear car horns and dogs barking on the streets, without paying attention to them. But when we claim we are “listening”, there has to be a focus, attention and caring.

Many of us are guilty of not listening to even our own near and dear ones who may not say exactly what is topical or relevant according to our perspective but to them, it may be vital. Today, we love to talk about Corporate Social Responsibility projects. We speak of being prominent social workers. But, it is the small acts of listening, understanding and kindness that fetch us big brownie points in the eyes of the Almighty.

There is no joy in living just for oneself. That was not the Grand Plan. So, the next time someone speaks to us, let us not just “hear”. Let us listen!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com