Types of consciousness

We have to understand the three main types of consciousness:
Body consciousness
Mind consciousness
Soul consciousness

Most of the time, we are preoccupied with the first two. We groom the body, look after it and nourish it because we live by our external image. People judge us by this look as well. Cultivate a studied smile, the right body language and tone and often, you can get away with less cerebral content in your speech.

Right alongside, the mind is busy working overtime to support the body with all kinds of reasoning, whether it be with awareness or a lack of it.

The soul consciousness is necessary to bring to the forefront because as humans, we must know that we are here to use the body as a vehicle to purify our karma and consequently, the soul. This then should be our focus. But it isn't. 

There needs to be a bridge established between earthly activities and our soul activities. This bridge is the heart. The heart loves, period! What discriminates is attachment. When it is clearly understood that it is attachment that leads to hatred, we will start living in our hearts and without discrimination.

                                                      

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Tip of the Week

BE AN OBSERVER

There is a very subtle but clear difference in my mind between looking at a “problem” and an “issue”. The moment we are steeped in what we perceive as a “problem”, we somehow tend to get sucked into a vortex which not only depletes our energy levels but also clouds our intellect, only because we are involved too deeply.

An “issue”, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to loom so large in our minds that it engulfs us. It seems “manageable” and our mind does tend to give us solutions more often than otherwise.

The difference here is actually notional and totally depends on the levels of the modes of positivity verses negativity that exist within us at the time. The truth is, solutions lie within us at all times. Sometimes, we see them and sometimes we can’t see them. Many a time, we don’t WANT to see them. Our state of mind, perception, ego and intellect define our ability to emerge as successful solution givers.

I read a very apt quotation the other day. “The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice you give others”. To accomplish this state of mind, it is essential to be clinical although it can be difficult for many. The word “clinical” does not merely apply to the medical profession. Any issue or problem, if viewed clinically and dispassionately can be overcome successfully. We just need to remove it from our emotional body and put it in front of us to analyse and deal with it. The moment we succeed in removing it from our subtle body, we revert to our natural state of balance and clarity for decision making. To be a detached observer can bring forth amazing solutions, resulting in a satisfied and happy feeling.

So, the next time, you face a “problem”, know that you need to immediately ask yourself, “What advice would I give someone else who came to ask me about a solution for this “issue” that I am facing at the moment?”

However, this can be done only if we are in a state of awareness of what is happening within us with our thoughts, emotions, biases, ego states and whether we are more reactionary in our habits or more pro active? People who are pro active are naturally more aware individuals because they act from their higher selves.

Let us become aware of our higher self and learn to be in constant touch with it constantly. Believe me, life will be amazingly beautiful and happy.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

Tip of the week

Living in the Past

Memoirs are what memories create. Some happiness, some tears, some agony. As we grow older, we seem to start dwelling on the past very naturally. I always used to wonder why the older generation talks so much about their past. I guess, when we are younger, there is so much to look forward to. Our energy levels are high and life seems to stretch in front of our line of vision as having many goals to look forward to. Towards the evening of our lives, a saturation point is reached for many people. Some others retire from their workplace because they have to. Some pass on their work to the next generation. Some opt to resign and take life easy after many years of hard work.

For all of these people, there seem to be many experiences in the past to talk about. There is a lot of learning there for those who listen. But, to handle a phase of inactivity or less activity can get very difficult as well. Not everyone can accept this phase graciously.

Our sense of self esteem depends hugely on how occupied we are, and, more important, how this places us in the eyes of the world. When our identity comes from the approval of others, anonymity can be very unsettling. If life can be viewed as a series of phases, it would be easier to accept changes, both within ourselves and the external set of circumstances.

What is really the issue here is that there is little to look forward to. There are no new goals for many. Actually, the world has opened up so many opportunities that we can learn something new every day. Recently, I saw a computer class with seventy year old individuals and I was thrilled! When so many new vistas open up the Mind, and we have the child within us alive and motivated enough to keep learning, the present and future become so exciting that the past ceases to be a compulsive memory and remains dormant within us, to be brought up at will when lessons from it need to be remembered.

The productive use of each present moment is the key to living rather than existing on past memories just because we don’t see anything before us that would adorn our present and future.

        Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

THE ALL TIME CLEANSERS

The market is flooded with all kinds of cleansers with different aromas. Shoppers can have a field day trying out new ones every day if they so wish. How good we feel when we feel fresh after using a fragrant lavender or a jasmine gel or soap! You would imagine that this “feel good” factor would sustain through the day. But, this may not be true at all. The moment we transfer our body consciousness into our mental and emotional consciousness, these cleansers lose their fragrance.

The most effective cleansers for every human being are in the form of mind cleansers. The mind is really at the core of all pollution, aided by the ego.  When the mind becomes tarnished by low self worth, it goes into comparisons, depressions, self rejection perceived as “other” rejection, snowballing into defiance or aggression as a self defense reaction. In this mode, the easiest and most rampant results seen among people are spoiling relationships, transferring blame to external factors and an unwillingness to come out of the shell to observe ourselves like others observe us.

Cleansing such complexities is very tough when we look for help and help is not available. Anyway, eventually, we have to work at cleansing ourselves.

There are many cleansers available if we find it in our hearts to use them.

COMPASSION is one. To feel a sense of kindness towards those who are going through a negative phase and are enveloping you in it, however unwittingly. Compassion demonstrates an understanding for such people.

FORGIVENESS is the next. “Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do”, is one of the Commandments in the Bible. Forgiveness was supposed to be a way of life, which, today, is very hard to find. Our ego often boasts of having forgiven, but genuine forgiveness has two sides: to forgive and to be forgiven.  This two way forgiveness is deeply cleansing in terms of bettering relationships as well as cleansing past karma.

CLEANLINESS: We look at cleanliness in terms of hygiene, referring to cleansing the body, our homes, the kitchen utensils we cook and eat in. But cleanliness also means keeping the purity of thought, word and deed in our daily lives. We often fail to do so, submitting to our reactionary mode to cause more and more damage everywhere and spreading negativity instead of cleanliness.

SELF CONTROL: Giving in to desires and wants, adopting unethical means to achieve those wants, inability to control anger or hatred, meting out injustice and many such impure initiatives can be removed with self control.

Life presents many challenges and it is tough to practice using these cleansers. Ultimately, those who don’t do not make a habit of cleansing may end up paying a heavy price with their health or losing valuable relationships and run the risk of isolation.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

National Committee Chairperson, All Ladies League ( www.aall.in )

What Do You Want To Attract?

My school autograph book which I still possess and cherish has, as I now realize many years later, a very profound autograph. “BE GOOD AND GOODNESS WILL EMBRACE YOU FROM ALL SIDES”. Actually, we grew up listening to the sermonizing of this principle “ad nauseum” without actually understanding the depth of the meaning. It was so much easier to get quickly into a reactionary mode and justify it, too.

Many moons later, when I read “Conversations with God”, I was intrigued by what I read. My understanding of the paragraph from that book was that if we “wanted” something that “want” would echo in the Universe as “want” and come back to us as “want”. Therefore, we would always remain “in want”. Later, when I became a hypnotherapist and learnt about changing our consciousness from negative to positive through affirmations, all the pieces of the puzzle came together for me..

In effect, we attract what we ARE. In other words, we have to BE what we want to attract. But, is it really so simple? Ironically, we are conditioned into believing that we will be what we want to be only if we satisfy our wants. But if wants always keep us “wanting”, how do we become what we want to attract? Very confusing, to say the least!

Actually, we fail to focus on who we are and the trouble starts there. We are sparks of the Divine, here on this earth as humans only for a period of time to fulfill our individual soul purpose, not to immerse ourselves in this world and lose sight of this purpose. As mentioned in “Ramayana”, we need to live in this world as boats that sail parallel to the river to cross over to the other side, without letting the water enter them , thereby, running the risk of drowning.

Once we realize that we are a part of the Divine and therefore, the Divine itself, we will also realize logically that we are as complete as the Divine, too. The moment we start feeling the connection and the feeling of abundance and joy, abundance and joy will begin to define us.

Achieving this state of being can happen in a mere instant of true realization or can take many lifetimes. Meanwhile, it definitely helps to know that we are where we are meant to be and that our evolution is a process of self realization. No one can get us anywhere but ourselves. The free will and choices given to mankind are evidence of this fact. Regrets are completely avoidable because there are no retakes in life and we can only learn from our past deeds if not from the wisdom of others. As we fall, we need to pick ourselves up and do better the next time. Again, it helps to know that we are eternal and will eventually have to arrive where we were meant to, in the first place.

So, what do we want to attract? The choice is ours and the Universe will support us in our endeavors. “Be good and goodness will embrace you from all sides”.  Does this make more sense now?  Let us be cautioned though, that the converse can be true as well.

Didn’t  I say the choice was ours ?

SPIRITUAL POVERTY

As much as we live in a scientifically evolving world, we are also afflicted with spiritual poverty. Ironically, this has happened in the very land of spiritual masters, sages and the enlightened Buddha, a land which the entire world turns to for spiritual knowledge.

Unfortunately, there is no measure of the spiritual rate of growth. In the words of Diana Cooper,” if children and adults were given permission to speak their truth and taught to follow their intuition, then honored for doing so, there would be no war.” In these words, we see the presence of spiritual values as being directly connected with the individual and war.

In the period of “satyug”, there was science, politics, economics, a system of justice. The difference is that every child was taught the ethics and values that should underlie all of these.

Therefore, the creation of the ASHRAM CHATUSHTAYA or the four stages of life was the most effective system for the natural, practical and spiritual regulation of society.

In the first stage, BRAHMACHRYA ( the student and celibate stage until the age of 18 years), the child learnt all the subjects : academics, sports, use of weapons, creative arts and above all, the values of honesty, respect for elders, integrity, duty consciousness, charity, love and compassion and balancing duties and responsibilities. The teachers were sages and elevated people who actually set an example with their own lives instead of just preaching without practicing what they taught. Today, it is not easy for parents and teachers to earn respect for the reason that, often, they do not live their lives in an exemplary way. Today, there is very little of value based training happening and children are growing up without the required anchor of the right knowledge and inner strength which is not and cannot be the product of mere affluence. Mark sheets and gnawing ambitions are the second stage, the first being the moral, ethical fibre of each person which adds the most important value to the other aspects of success. Promiscuousness and greed form the basis of a teenager’s quest for independence and relationships. With the element of self absorption, the corruption of the misled youth is complete.

In the second stage, GRAHASTH ASHRAM ( the householder phase , from 18 years of age), the students from the earlier phase were trained and groomed for marriage and the duties and responsibilities that go hand in hand with this phase. This was a phase of professional training, often under the elders of the family because many enterprises were hereditary. This trained the individual in teamwork, maintaining respect for family and social norms. Mutual trust was the moving force, whether in family or society. Helping the less fortunate by contributing 10 % of earnings was an inbuilt part of the social fiber. Today, we see a very different picture. Even charity is done for motives other than compassion and duty consciousness. The overwhelming greed of money, power and comfort have eclipsed most of the earlier tutoring by wise teachers. The elders and dependent family members are treated as impediments to personal growth instead of being looked after. We see more and more old age homes mushrooming. The element of complete intolerance towards taking care of our own is a chronic malfunction of the societies today based on the erosion of relationships and the emerging of insular families. The contemporary youth has gradually been deprived of the right values and today, we see more spiritual poverty than ever before.

The purpose of the third stage of life, VAANAPRASTH ASHRAM (celibacy stage) was two fold. Meant for the heads of the family, it required the parents to transfer their householder status and business to the children who had , by then, stepped into the householder stage and had already had a few years of training under the parents in the field of economics as well as social values and behavior. The parents were then supposed to be there for the children in an advisory capacity along with looking ahead towards their future. Today, the elders don’t want to let go of the reins and are also known to control the lives of their children based on their image in society and their own aspirations for their children. In many homes, the lack of freedom of decision making is the cause for strained relationships and frustration among children whose voices are strangulated. While so many career options have opened up, the minds are not as open. Parents, teachers, families and societies are all interconnected in depleting the balance and the energies of the upcoming generation. Although changes are seen, there is still enough pollution of moral corruption going around. Change will happen rapidly when the intolerance towards this corruption is voiced in ample measure. This trend is becoming visible and there is hope that it continues unabated and strengthens manifold to actually manifest the return of what we, as Indians, stood for.

In the fourth and final stage of life, SANYAAS ASHRAM, this was a preparation to pass on from this world. “SANYAAS” means taking leave from active participation in worldly activities and moving towards spiritual evolution. In the earlier times, the senior couple would sometimes leave the children to stay in another home to pursue spiritual activities such as prayer and charity. Today, there are battles between father and son because the order of natural succession is not observed. This also happens because the children may not exhibit the caliber and mature thought processes to carry on the work of the elders effectively. So, we have to go back to the initial training given to children. In other scenarios, parents are unable to “retire” from the lives of their children. This leads to resentment and the corrosion of relationships.

It is true to say that the old order changes, giving place to the new one. However, there is a constant truth that prevails in all times, and that is the authenticity of universal laws governing us. Each time the law of Harmony is violated, the results have been terrible. We need to go within ourselves and experience the connectivity with everything in this Creation and unleash the power of love and compassion. Every soul has all the right knowledge within but gets enmeshed in the dark energies instead of making the choice of living in the light.

As Diana Cooper says in her book, “A New Light of Ascension “, “if children and adults were given permission to speak their truth and taught to follow their intuition, then honored for doing so, there would be no war”.

I would like to add here that “war” has to be waged against the dark forces within and outside us, against destructive thought patterns, speech and actions , in fact, against anything which does not result in harmony and “win-win” situations.

As the old souls reincarnate on the earth to raise it’s over all consciousness, I urge every existing soul to adopt a self searching path to help in raising the vibrations of the earth to a much higher level. Become a light worker and spread the light in the universe so that all of us can bathe in this light of peace, health and happiness.

Surekha Kothari

Posted in awareness, BodyMindSoulCentre, experience, happiness, Healing,Hypnotherapy, past life, sharing | Tagged behaviour, happiness, karma, lessons of life,Past Life, Poverty, surekha kothari | Leave a comment

Personality Challenges

We all know the saying, “you can take the horse to the water but you can’t make it drink”. I have experienced this as a therapist and have been amazed at this phenomenon. Is it for real that human beings KNOW that they need healing but still persist in building up more reasons for healing through more negative actions. Why is this so? Let me create some awareness on this point.

The first reason is past life karma. If the person has come to experience karmic issues from another life, it is possible that triggers for change may not happen until the experience is completely over. Old karmas need to be lived out. Only with an awareness and acceptance of what IS will come the realization of what CAN BE. In such cases, an individual can make a conscious choice to heal the issue / s.

The second reason may be a conscious resistance to heal that could have occurred due to an energy attachment from the outside which may not want to heal and therefore, does not allow the individual to become aware or seek help. Very often, when we are vulnerable, the resulting weakness may cause our aura to be perforated or broken. At such times, external energies can walk into our aura, disturb it and alter our personality so much that we even start thinking and living like that energy did when it was alive. These may be deceased energies that don’t transit into the light. It could also be other unseen energies.

The third issue may be an inherent suspicion in the healing modalities and process which comes from a space of fear of the unknown and the insecurity of giving the control in the hands of a therapist. The pre condition for healing is intention, faith and consistency.

Another huge reason is living in denial. I have seen many people blocking people from their lives, avoiding places and living in a make believe world because they don’t want to come out of the box they have climbed into, the box that gives them a certain amount of comfort to enable them to live with themselves. Such clients, when they have been cajoled into seeking therapy have often sat before me in sullen silence, not communicating and mostly, avoiding eye contact and looking towards the floor. Needless to say, neither counseling nor therapy has been possible in such cases.

People who want to transform through healing sometimes, in their lack of understanding and knowledge, come to me thinking I have a magic wand which will make everything alright. I want to emphasize the role of taking personal responsibility for healing oneself. Every day, some amount of negative build up happens with most people. Our daily routine must necessarily incorporate cleansing practices like Chakra cleansing, Pranayama and meditation to keep our minds relatively clean and functioning with clarity and compassion.

I absolutely recommend trying to live from your heart and diminish the ego. The heart does not lie. Love and fear are the two main universal energies and it doesn’t take a genius to make a choice between the two.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

SENSITIVE and COMPASSIONATE

I find that after I became a therapist, one of the very subtle learning that I have had is the interpretation of the broad spectrum words “Sensitive” and “compassionate”. We generally applaud a person for being sensitive because we are automatically attributing the quality of compassion. This is not wrong when it comes to being sensitive to others. We do empathize with people and even feel some of the pain they go through.

Having said this, when people are sensitive within themselves, that may be another story. This group of “sensitive” people can have a very fragile ego and an pile up emotional scars and wounds frequently on themselves. “Feeling bad” often and looking for approval and endorsements of who they are can be the basic trait of many people who claim to be sensitive. These people are also low on self worth and self esteem due to the fact that they get their identity from others. There is possibly a void within which is only filled by others liking them or approving them.

These kind of people are always going out of their way to doing things for people without really being asked and out of an expectation that they will be tagged as “good”. Most important, in relying on others, they have given away their energy to others and also consequently, given away their power to others. To have a consistent relationship with these kind of people is a challenge. They can be mercurial and highly unpredictable.

As a healer, I want to tell these people that recognition and approval of the self that comes from within is the right one. Every soul is on its own journey with its own karmic issues looking for a resolution to move forward and evolve. Getting stuck with other souls on this earth can stunt personal growth and evolution and what they have come to achieve in this lifetime may not be achieved.

This shift can happen only with a personal awareness and acceptance that this needs a change and must be changed. Only we can help ourselves.

Surekha Kothari

The Politics of Subversion

There is a famous “Indian Crab” story which I, as an Indian, am not proud of. The open container of Indian crabs pulling each other down is the story of not only the politicians but also of the modern society. Sometimes, even the thought that a land of such a spectacular spiritual heritage can demonstrate such decadence in the moral fibre on one side and on the other side, be a role model to the world in terms technology, arts, literature, fashion and spiritual “gurus”, is mind boggling and disturbing.

I can understand ambition and seeking success. I can also understand looking up to eminent people as role models and wanting to be where they are. On a slightly lower thought level, I can see why people might be envious of others when they don’t reach the goals they aspire for. But the understanding stops here. 

 The moment I think of who I am, this introspection mode automatically brings an awareness of my connectivity with people and nature, my karmic plan, the ethics of living, my fate and destiny and my responsibility to myself before others. I truly believe that if each one of us focused on all of these, we would not, in fact, COULD NOT be contributors of decadence in any major way. 

It is typical that the churning and the changing tide of time and events in India, being perceived largely as the dawn of an era of light after a dark period, should not be welcomed by a few self promoting, subversive forces who survive on personal gain at the cost of other people and the country. This state of affairs has prevailed in India for many years. Today, however, from the grass roots, we   hear  the agitated, dissatisfied and desperate voices of the masses, determined to fight for their right to a better life, a better future, a better governance. The tempestuous fever of the multitudes must necessarily mark the beginning of the return of India to its former spiritual glory of peace, prosperity, right to equality, respect for women, moral and ethical teaching for children, dignity of labour and most important, honesty, trust and safety as pillars of society.  

This might sound simplistic and too drastic a change from the current state of degeneration. But I am the eternal optimist. Life is divided into phases. What goes up has to come down. So, logically, if everything changes, this, too, shall pass. The assertiveness of people magnified by a responsible media are the harbingers of the good times to come. The growing intolerance for heinous acts of crime are evidence that this cannot go on and will not be allowed to go on anymore.  

The vibrations of this earth must be raised to a higher level by each one of us by setting examples of simple living and high thinking, thereby replacing the detrimental nature of the present self seeking, commercial, ego driven and greed inspired living. India is a land of an awesome spiritual heritage. It is that energy which has carried us through historical catastrophes again and again and yet, has saved us from complete destruction. Interwoven minutely into the Indian fabric, this energy, when activated, will, in one stroke, sweep away the misdeeds of a few and restore the earlier order of an ethical and peaceful society.

Surekha Kothari

VALUING CREATION

There is nothing superfluous in Creation. The greatest lesson in humility, therefore, is showing a healthy respect for everything. Translating from a Gujarati saying, “We may need even a grain of sand in life”. Let us therefore, show respect to the grain of sand also.

Another great truth is that the people we meet climbing up may be the ones we meet coming down as well. To my mind, the two sayings are linked. The fact that the Congress party has had to scamper back to the Communist party for an alliance, a party that it had shunned, is a prime example.There seems to be a natural system of justice, checks and balances that seems to work above themachinations of man. Surely, we must believe in the law of karma.

In everyday life, too, we see this all the time. Genuine friendships and relationships survive the onslaught of time because of the steadfastness ingrained in the sincerity of bonds which stand the test of time. But in order for this to happen, we have to burn a lamp in our hearts all the time, however dense the darkness around us, or within our sense of perception. The underlying theme here is humility, mutual respect and love, in that order.

If we have disregarded and disrespected, or even tried to harm anything or anyone, it has boomeranged on us some time or another. Promises, if made pretentiously and not fulfilled carry the huge burden of false intentions which perhaps build a chain of actions and reactions and a cloud of escalating negativity which has to end in disaster of some kind.

We see all this happening around us but, for some reason, we seem immune and continue to be immune and insensitive till it happens to us directly. This is one of the reasons that we wait for a crisis to happen before we begin to act.

The time to act is here, in the present moment, each minute and every day. If only we could wake up to facts and observe reality, which is intrinsically pure and simple, to counteract and avert disasters of distorted minds!

The burden of my song is that if nothing is superfluous in Creation, there are codes of conduct to live by to make Creation meaningful. Greed, hatred, self promotion at the cost of everything and everyone and subversion are certainly not within the list of this code designed for world peace and prosperity. We have seen disastrous consequences of violating the natural laws of the universe, decade after decade, century after century and spilling over into the currently chaotic times.

Think about it! If politics means good governance, can we ignore the well being of the citizens whose responsibility politicians have taken on, without dire consequences? If regulation of societies is the aim, can we achieve this without first organizing the individual, families and social groups into right thinking and values, right speech and right action? We nurture gardens in our backyard but fail to nurture individuals. We have animal pets but disrespect our own family members. We lap up generosity from others but fight shy of returning the same. We want to be acknowledged and rewarded for whatever service we do or laurels we gain, but are reticent about encouraging or praising the good deeds of others.

What kind of trends we are painstakingly cultivating and what effect they are having in the world today is for everyone to see. I believe it is never too late to make a concentrated effort to reverse these harmful trends, however deeply they may be woven within the fabric of the country and the world at this time. The amazing brain of man that can wreak havoc and destroy can also stem the tide of anarchy, consolidate and build again.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

“Hindutva: The Misunderstood Philosophy”

Our ego driven insecurities have colored our vision so much that we have conveniently given narrow and perhaps negative connotation to words like “Hindutva”. This word is not merely a word but a philosophy, a way of life. Just as “guru” symbolizes the essence of the qualities of “gurutva”, “Hindutva” symbolizes the principles of life given to the people of India.

The divisive forces interpret “Hindutva” as an intolerant and fanatic religion of the Hindus. I beg to differ. While Hinduism is the religion followed by Hindus, the term “Hindutva” is inclusive of the entire “Hindustan” which we call India. There is a huge difference. “Hindustan” is the land of all Indians.

It is important to note that “Hindustan” should not be considered synonymous with Hindus. This is a basic interpretation which colors this unique country as a land of Hindus only, a complete fallacy.

“Hindutva” is the body of codes of conduct, a philosophy that citizens of Hindustan shall follow, a set of norms based solely on spirituality which is not religion oriented as has often been falsely indoctrinated in people . Intrinsically, it spells out that Indians should abide by its democratic nature of governance and regulation of society on the principle of secularism, based on rights to freedom, equality and education for all. It symbolizes secularism as the larger framework within which these shall be the right of every citizen. It respects the freedom of all the people irrespective of religious preferences, case and creed and their harmonious co existence while practicing their own individual belief systems, above all, while accepting those of others.

Now, anything which is distorted or taken advantage of for specific, “unholy” gains such as the communal divides or brain washing of people to deviate from their right beliefs to the ones inculcated with the carrot and stick policy by a few, are practices which need reforms.

Symbolizing my thoughts is a beautiful story I want to share. Peace, Wealth and Love came to the door of a poor couple and asked to be hosted. The condition was that they could choose only one of the three. The couple debated among themselves and decided to invite Love in because they could not live without love. When they stepped aside for Love to walk in, Peace and Wealth also started walking in. When the surprised couple asked why all three were walking in, Peace and Wealth said that they always accompanied Love wherever Love went. This is not only a story but a universal truth which is time tested and found to be completely true when practiced.

To conclude, no religion has advocated non acceptance, intolerance or destruction of any kind. Why then don’t we CHOOSE love, peace and harmony, so evidently the first choice for any sane person?

Love means compassion, tolerance and acceptance. This is also the base of “Hindutva “as I understand it on a deeper, spiritual level. I have often been cynically accused of being an “idealist”. I take this as a compliment. You see, I am not a cynic.

Surekha Kothari

http://www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

ACCOUNTABILITY

India is suddenly waking up to this word. Accountability in politics has become one of the most burning issues today. But accountability is or shall I say, should be an all pervasive word and in every walk of life. Not only is it at the core of free will, it is also relevant at the macro and micro levels of all existence. It defines freedom as meaningful only in the context of accountability. It is the benchmark of harmony in the hierarchy of relationships. It denotes a system of checks and balances in families and societies, and therefore, logically starting at the micro levels, the individuals. Accountability is a discipline which can sustain peace and prosperity of every unit in a country and ensure a continued and constructive growth of the nation.

Thus, we have a child accountable to parents, family members accountable to each other, individuals to society, societies to their regions, all the regions to each other, the judiciary to its conscience and the people and the government to its people. This doesn’t mean that the creativity of people will be curbed. This merely means that within the framework of what is good and applicable to all, individual growth can and will be ensured.

What is important to note is that accountability incorporates many attitudes automatically.

The first one is acceptance of all, however different they may appear to be, knowing that the soul within has the same source.

The second one is respect for all, conceding that everything and everyone in Creation has a place and is not superfluous.

The third is the knowledge that everything grows only when given space. We are therefore, accountable for the space we are required to give ourselves and others.

The fourth is the accountability of our thoughts, words and actions. All these three should be tempered with love and acceptance, and with respect.

The fifth and as important is the aspect of responsibility which goes hand in hand with commitment: responsibility towards commitment towards the well being of oneself while ensuring that of others.

Today, India is clamoring for the return of this quality of accountability because this has been previously experienced in this great country more than in any other, despite the constant attempts to bring in a state of anarchy inspired by the greed of self seeking groups who have forgotten the days of nationalistic spirit and sacrifices by proud Indian citizens. Their solidarity against so many odds was actually instrumental in giving “Bharat” its freedom. In accountability and responsibility lies freedom for one and all.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

THE PRICE TAGS IN LIFE

Some people demonstrate a refreshing naivette by wanting everything good all the way through life. Wouldn’t we all want that? In fact, the truth is, much in life is a tradeoff. Everything has a price to pay, even the so called “goodness”. I would like to improvise a popular saying this way:  “I am responsible for what I say and do but I am not responsible for how you understand or interpret it.” Therein lies the catch!  However “good” the intention is, we don’t really have a control over the mind of others.

Every day, we set our goals for the day and act accordingly. But, is it so simple? We have to make choices all the time. And making choices means letting something go in favor of retaining that which is more important. Often , it also means letting people go out of your life as a trade off for, maybe, less conflict and stress, more peace, duty towards someone in particular, a gradual neutralization of emotion , guarding oneself from hurt and maybe many other reasons.

I have realized that in some cases, we move away naturally and there doesn’t seem to be a price to pay. Yet, there may be a twinge of regret while thinking of the phase of happiness which is now past and that might leave a residue of emotion which needs to be cleared. Along with this, there also needs to be a deeper understanding that for all of us, it is the karmic balance sheet that is at work. When an event in our life comes, has its impact , it is up to us to either let it go as a lesson learnt, or hold on to it pouring wasted energy of negative emotions like anger, sadness, a feeling of being cheated and so on.

Similarly, relationships take their toll on us when attachment becomes an obsession. The imbalance created as a result spirals towards a depletion of energy and consequently, we pay a price by ending the relationship.

I see people paying a huge price in maintaining friendships. Individuals forming “close” groups also become “closed” groups. The individual preferences of each among the group have to be sacrificed to an extent as a price of conforming to the unwritten rules of that group, even if they are not palatable to one or more people in the group. I have seen friends changing color and dropping friends when they choose to associate with the rich and the famous in the hope that a little bit of the stardust will come their way, never mind if it is only “dust”. They prefer the leftover dust from a star than the light of a sincere and loyal friend who apparently is of no value but may actually be a shining star in the relationship.

So, these tags are directly connected with the aspirations of people, their brand of self esteem, their modes of behavior and their attitudes towards people, events and life in general. These considerations determine their preferences and actions. Thus, we see tradeoffs between success and loyalty, fair play and foul play, personal gains and justice for all, etc.

Many get stuck within their own reactions, retaliations, playing the blame game and being judgmental. Moving forward is for those who can, with a clear perception and intellect, make the choices for their own evolution and growth. There is always a voice within that tells us where we need to go. But we have to pass through the events brought on by old “karma” to be decidedly and inevitably experienced in the “now”. The ignorance of “karma” and the lack of understanding that we are paying a price for what we have done earlier is like wearing a crown of thorns at the time. If we perceive these events as adversities coming our way and react to them, this would only build up a new negative body of “karma”.

All this changes when a deeper understanding dawns. This is when we are actually able to “see” why things happen, what they are supposed to do for us and what must be our attitude when we are experiencing them. As soon as this understanding dawns, we also understand where our choices could have been better and how we can better our choices in future on the basis of the new awareness and insights we have acquired.

As long as we have a free will, our choices make the existence of price tags inevitable. Maturity lies in paying the price willingly and with an understanding that we are doing this in the interest of ourselves and all around us. It boils down to the fact that we must make enlightened choices to eliminate the “price tag” perception, because that is what price tags actually are – a perception.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

RESPECT AND EXPECTATIONS

This morning, I was listening to an interview with Shivani of the Brahmakumaris. I don’t know of any individual engaged in the search for truth who doesn’t listen to her interviews with rapt attention. She has the art of making life so simple just by her analysis of what people do what they do and how they should think.

The feeling of “respect” is directly proportionate to the expectations we have. We say we respect elders, our family members and also some friends. But, at every step, we ourselves show that in reality, we don’t.

The simple fact is that we are constantly judgmental. If, for example, someone comes late, we get angry because we expect them to be on time. That person may have had reasons to be late but our expectations were that they should be on time because that’s the way WE like things to happen, punctually. This actually means that our expectations are making us unstable and unhappy. It demonstrates that we are giving the late comer power over us by basing our mental and emotional health on their actions. It also means that we want to control the other person and even the environment and cannot accept that just as we want the freedom to be who we are, so, we have to extend the same respect to others.

Another example Shivani gave is of expecting a child to get a first grade. A parent says words of encouragement to the child by saying,”you can do it”. But to add the phrase” or else” will spark off pressure of expectations in the child. The message we send in this case is a conditional one, that we may lose respect for the child if it does not perform as per our expectations. We are trying to control the child and not letting the child be in charge of its own motivation and goals.

While listening to Shivani’s interview, I realized that I don’t know anyone who actually has a genuine respect for anyone. It has been an eye opener. The moment our well being and happiness begins to depend on our ability to control people and environment through expectations, we don’t even respect ourselves, let alone others.

The transformational word here is “ACCEPT” the way people are. Separate the individual from the act. We have the right to set our own parameters for living but, just as we would expect that we are accepted for who we are with all our traits and personality, we must also give the required respect to others to continue to be who they are. Otherwise, relationships will always be in conflict and could even find a closure. Forget others, our relationship with ourselves will be in conflict because our minds will always be in turmoil.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

SIMPLE LIVING AND HIGH THINKING

Being from the older generation, this saying was what we were brought up with. Today, the younger generation might scoff at such sentiments. I merely smile! I know that however much we “advance” materially, scientifically, mentally and socially, there will be little spiritual evolution if we don’t value or practice the ageless tenets of wisdom that have been handed down to us and which make India so special that the entire world looks up to it for spiritual learning.

Actually, spiritual learning is the inevitable side effect of simple living and high thinking. Some truths which many consider to be obsolete, are relevant in every day and age. But, often, they are misunderstood and often, personal material goals gain priority. The race for success obliterates the necessity for solid value systems. A system of compromises also has its own set of principles. For example, if we need to compromise the truth to save an innocent  life, it is permitted because saving this life is more important.

The fact is that it is not so simple to be simple. For example, can we say what we mean and mean what we say? Impossible! We prefer to project ourselves in a specially crafted image, maybe because we want to feel good wearing that image, or, maybe, we are aiming for some benefits and are trying to please those who will look at us favorably as we “seem” to be, in their eyes.

Our intrinsic simplicity is also taken away from us by the constant reactions by our ego to people and events which result in a huge amount of the ever piling excess baggage that we carry, often to our graves. Being simple would mean “letting go” and dropping all the ego related obstructions in our growth. But, we choose to carry for years some verbal war we may have had, some expectations gone wrong, some events that may have upset us and so on. If only we valued the present instead of holding on to the past! If only we realized that by bringing the past into the present regularly, the future will only have unwanted, repeated patterns of the past and each of us who cannot let go will be solely responsible for this.

If we are able to practice being simple, we will attract those people who value us for who we are. These are the genuine relationships which are transparent. But we are in a race for “contacts”. So, how can we be ourselves AND please everyone?

The philosophy of high thinking is one based on personal and social ethics. “Ethics” is a widely interpreted word today. In the more individualistic society, the definition of the word has changed. High thinking actually implies a clear and pure thought process which finally culminates in action for the larger good, which includes us as well. It implies that a “win- win “result must be arrived at by our actions in terms of something for everyone.

High thinking incorporates the value of love, tolerance, acceptance of everything as having the similar and the dissimilar qualities unified in Creation. It means a constant realization from within that this world is not our permanent home and that oneness and integration should be the motivation for existence while on this earth. As a consequence then, our merit would lie in the subjugation of our destructive ego and attempts to do everything that will harmonize our space and allow everything to co- exist peacefully.

Is simple living and high thinking simple? I can only answer for myself and leave your answers to you.

Surekha Kothari

http://www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

CONCRETIZATION OF MAN AGAINST NATURE

The primitive man used to live in jungles, surrounded by nature lived to fulfill the basic challenges of the acquisition of food, clothing and shelter. Today also, the modern man lives in jungles, except for the fact that these are concrete jungles, where breath is slightly choked and challenges ensconced in fear, stress, desperation and roller coaster rides to nowhere.

Those who have had an occasion to live amidst nature or continue to do so even now co exist joyfully as they are meant to do. Man has many lessons to learn from proximity to nature. On the other hand, those who have boxed themselves in the thick walls of expensive concrete may have boxed themselves enough within thick, impenetrable walls so that neither the experience of fresh breeze carrying the aroma of sweet smelling flowers nor the chirpy songs of the birds, not even the frolic of clouds in the sky can enter. To be away from nature is unnatural. It is true that staying away from nature hardens the human heart. Nature is the greatest leveler for the ego of the human being.

I am humbled by the trees! They stand unflinchingly tall in the scorching sun to allow men to rest under their shade. When they are laden with fruit, they bend over towards the earth as if bowing to it in gratitude. I learn to re invent myself each time I sit by a river. I watch it undulating, flowing steadily towards the ocean, its source. I see it weaving its way around boulders, finding new pathways, tireless, undeterred and determined.

I look at the vast expanse of the sky which integrates and shelters all Creation like a benevolent parent, loving and kind and I think to myself, “this is what we should learn from the sky: to integrate and accept one and all as different forms of the same Divine Energy.” As the seasons come and go, giving us warmth, rain, coolness and challenging our tolerance and adaptability, so too, life comes in similar phases, daring us to rise to every occasion and come through with flying colors.

Then, of course, there is the ocean. I cannot find a better example of the working of the human mind than the ocean. The restlessness of the conscious mind is so beautifully represented in the waves crashing against the shores and receding into the ocean as compared to the stillness of the depth of the ocean, as is the sub conscious mind which can be accessed only by diving through the surface layers of the waves. Therein, deep within the self, deep as the ocean, dwell peace and oneness.

So also, the mountains, the hills, the valleys, the grasslands and all other forms of Nature are teachers of the highest order of God, following the universal laws to perfection while, sadly, man disregards every spiritual law of co existence with Nature as he continues to live each day with a greater sense of self absorption and an unbecoming callousness .

If truth be told, every awakening dawn brings a new hope for the day as the sun shines its pure golden light upon the earth and each day, dusk merges into the darkness of the night, taking with it the day’s experiences and lessons, and, above all, a hope that tomorrow will be better than today has been in every way. Man, with all his intelligence, fails to recognize his troubles in life as being the result of a lack of this very awareness.

“Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts. There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature — the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter.”
― Rachel Carson, Silent Spring

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com