Showing posts with label Counseling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Counseling. Show all posts

Sunday, 27 January 2019

Silence


Sometimes, silence is the best policy. It is a mistake to think we can explain ourselves and the opposite person will understand. Also, talking about the universal phenomena, of solutions to issues, of sharing wisdom, or any love for that matter, may not be acceptable. Silence distances you from everything and works on your own peace and evolution where speaking creates conflicts. The choice is easy. But to arrive at it is difficult.
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com


Sunday, 9 September 2018

Exaggerated politeness


You must have come across people who never look straight into your eyes and talk or, will talk with an exaggerated politeness, especially in public. They probably have some need to be connected with you but don't necessarily like you too much. Each time you look at them, they will be looking at you with an undefined expression from the corner of their eyes and will quickly turn away when you actually catch them looking at you.
As we grow older, I guess we start observing more. As they say, who knows what feelings people are hiding under that obscure, even blank look!! We succeed in reading such aspects of people with growing awareness.
The biggest challenge is to understand where people are coming from and then getting immune to their machinations. You know what is going on behind the scenes. You are able to see it clearly but you are not going to let it affect you. Once you know and there are no obscurities that are your power and your strength to work with.
Here, too, you need courage to endorse your own path. And stay with it. "Men may come and men may go but I go on forever" kind of doggedness. Energize! Constantly energize! And immunize!
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com


Friday, 6 April 2018

Understanding


I wonder often... when one actually reaches closure to anything. When a wound stops festering and begins to heal and whether it is ever given a chance to keep healing or whether someone keeps touching the raw nerves so that they never heal, at all. And time passes, it stays until it's time to pass on.
The agony of the human being is completely underestimated and / or undermined because no one can get into anyone's shoes to experience it. But many claim to. And many are critical without understanding. This is something I have yet to understand. It is truly amazing.
And to make matters worse and more challenging is the compulsory and social need to wear a happy surface skin which hangs loosely because the wounded skin is so tightly wrapped around.
Blessed are the souls who can feel this deeply about others.
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com


Sunday, 30 April 2017

Our Ego

Banking and karma are very similar. You open an account. You make certain investments, including FDs. Sometimes, when investments are bad ones, they give you losses. And good ones, dividends.
Once our karma account is opened, we should try to make good investments. Otherwise, we will find our account of good karma depleting very fast and then we are left with very little balance.
There is always a tussle between the need to create good karma and the blocks we create with our ego. We need to work on understanding this big time.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com


Wednesday, 2 November 2016

Limits

Defining limits! A very difficult exercise for many. Specially to know when to stop. To know when you are encroaching on someone else's space. To know when you begin to cross the line and begin to intrude or encroach onto someone else's life.
Human psychology is complex to say the least. I realize that some very deep rooted insecurities make people cross limits, to grab something they believe will make them feel better. But that is far from what might happen in the long run.
Ultimately, you might succeed in controlling people for a while but once people set limits and demonstrate the need for space, crossing this might prove to be a bad choice.
They say, if you love someone, set them free. But if you end up controlling them, you show you don't love OR respect them. It only demonstrates a gnawing personal need.
Taking the space that is yours and then, with dignity, moves away. This speaks of a beautiful energy that is in harmony with itself.
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com


Monday, 26 September 2016

Tolerance level

Our tolerance levels are so thin these days, every little pin prick becomes a wound. The reactions to small, simple things are just ridiculously huge. It's like the world might be ending the next second.

What is probably happening is, there are very few filters. Very little thought before action. It is evident everywhere. On the roads as road rage. In parties, as an aftermath of too much alcohol. In families with too much money, fame and power, and so on...

It is unfortunate that a land of an old spiritual tradition should come to this. The whole world looks to India for culture, tradition and spirituality, a few major qualities being tolerance, patience, respect, discipline and inner wisdom that was honed since a very young age in the earlier times.

Today, the teaching institutions themselves are so commercial and non spiritual that they are bound to impart the same energy to the youth of today. Who do we blame for the onslaught of the "instant coffee" and instant gratification age where money and values are not talked about in the same breath?

Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com