Exhaustion

There is a consistent pattern of intolerance in families that seems to be so inconsistent with the theory that love develops when you spend your young life together. You share, you care, you fight and make up easily, have elders watching you and looking out for you until we learn to look out for each other. How can we cut such cords of relationships that were no fluke? They were pre-ordained for a reason.

One of the worst emotions we end up harboring is resentment. This is a very debilitating emotion which speaks of hurts becoming wounds over an escalation of small issues becoming large over time.

It is like carrying home the image of the villain from a movie you have seen and not recognizing that it was just a character played for a while. In real life also, this is true. We act out of reaction, impulse, complexes but continue to judge such episodes of interaction when the very same people are so much more than their superficial action. AND they change according to their learning.

I cannot repeat enough times that our exhaustion does not come from gym too hard. It comes from the excess baggage of our emotions, of messed up relationships that we carry on our back which we refuse to let go. We trap our own energy and complain of exhaustion! When we ourselves are responsible.

Many people argue that they are fine, in fact, relieved that connections have been severed. Remember They are not healed though. And unhealed versions of humans walking this earth are unhappy people. We must unlearn resentment, relearn how to love again if we want healing.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

 

Self-Respect

It is amazing how limited and clouded a mind we walk around with. The more comfort there is around us, the less we are inclined to notice that clouded aspect of us.

How do we live with this heavy burden of our feelings of likes / dislikes, our jealousies and hatreds, our desire to wound people we dislike and at the same time, craving to be loved by everyone?  Does this also become a part of our comfort levels where we revel in such activities and derive a vicarious pleasure? Because the two are so contradictory and, impossible if I may say so.

The clouds that cover our mind will not let clarity enter. In the absence of clarity, we are unable to look through the opacity of those clouds and into our real selves.

That’s why we must avoid thoughts and emotions which are not crystal clear and pure. For this to happen, we need to love and respect ourselves first.

Self-respect should prevent any action by us that makes us fall in our own self estimation and from the grace within us if we have not forgotten the truth of who we are.

When people look at our goodness and righteousness, they also respect us because such people are rare and therefore, respect worthy.  Why then would we stoop down to levels where we don’t respect ourselves?

Maybe, we have had to struggle. Maybe, we have had to let go of memories of hurt, betrayal and more. But in all of this, if we have been able to stand upright as tall as the tree that faced several storms, our value as a human being would multiply manifold. To ourselves and to others.

And that is where we need to be to access the divine frequency.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Emotional Crisis

LOSS is the most intense of feelings and the emotions attached to it are heart rending. It does not have to be through death only. It can be the breakup of very valuable relationships. Or the severance of a part of the body even. Emotional crisis can be equally painful.

How to DEAL with loss! When suddenly, its memory triggers when we are trying to cope with life. We live with it.

One of the biggest loss is when you lose yourself in the midst of facing rejection, indifference and marginalization. Others can make you feel that you are a zero when YOU have accepted that you ARE a zero.

We deal with this from time to time. Some see light after a while but some can sink into a massive loss of self-esteem, see only darkness everywhere and CAN end their lives.

I have realized that birth here is definitely to learn plenty of lessons but apart from that, has also an implication of a certain demotion due to our karmic actions. That’s why we are here, without knowing the vastness of who we are, and working with our petty selves, judging, conflicting, hurting, killing and so on.

 

 

And that is also why very few consciously expand their awareness and their own consciousness and live in their little ponds of comfort.

They prefer to fail and fail in the same class rather than work hard to seek promotion. Because they are used to it. It is a known place.

After all, what is this life if also not a school? What we end up learning in one lifetime is a question we must ask ourselves.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Belief System

 A fact of life! You cannot unscrew the minds of those who have used ironclad screws to strengthen their wrong belief systems. Or have set you up as a target. Just step away until and if at all, sense dawns on them!

I have realized that learning is so individual and time resistant that there is no point in getting frustrated when you try to steer someone towards the right understanding but they just do not want to go there.

It is strange how people claim to care but on a day to day basis, they are all about themselves. I have stopped getting surprised at these observations in people.

It doesn’t matter as long as you don’t let the injustice of it all plague you.

Relationships fraught with disrespect cannot work.

Life does not stop for anyone and everyone has stories! We are just one among the many, oppressed by our grief and sadness.

Just get out of such emotions. It is not worth it! Let go of what is not in your control. Karma can be a tough call. It takes away but it also returns in different ways.

Continue living life, staying away from the circus and drama of other people.

Be strong. Be smart. And most important, never doubt yourself. Always believe in yourself when your conscience is clear.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Emotions

 Learn one small lesson every day to avoid the big lessons later. Take care of today and tomorrow will take care of itself.

Breathe fresh air and fresh thoughts every day.  Laugh a lot. Learn to be silly at times. You can’t imagine how joyful silliness is, until you try it.

Worry does not help but definitely takes your health away, leaves your mind scattered and emotions in a turmoil!

If something does not work, some of it may not be meant for you and the rest may take time. Just as a cotton seed is air bound until it settles and germinates. Live within yourself because all the answers of life skills are already within you. You are just not tuned into your own frequency.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Trust and Faith

 I wonder what all this fight within and without, all the conflict, the rat race to that illusory and non-existent place called “the top” is all about. It seems to alter intrinsic human behavior. And not in a good way.

Granted, it is great to be relevant. Wonderful to be recognized. Euphoric if your name is in the neon lights!

Then what? After that? We all have a little void within which we are desperately trying to understand. To me, it is that core that does not belong to this world. It is that spiritual core that knows the extent of our earthly journey. We try to ignore it in our commitment to winning races which can never be won because there is always someone below and someone above you.

I have seen famous people cry alone. The higher they go, the lonelier it is . Emotions going haywire at what compromises you may have had to make in your values and principles so that you can have a million followers on social media. Popularity kick!

Please have more followers but for the right reasons, when your work has spoken for you and you don’t have to succumb to rigged awards and followers to gain some empty publicity for yourself.

Life is much, much vaster. The more you want, the more you will want. Poor Satiation levels can only be counteracted by genuine contentment and understanding that you will always get what is ordained for you.

Somehow, we feel irrelevant unless we are the talk of the town. Again, after that what? Do we become better humans after that? Do we suddenly start understanding concepts of right living?

The most unaccepted fact of life is death! The mad scrambles to defeat age and to refrain from entering the “vaanprastha ashram” and defying the natural progression of life is so self-defeating if we can see that for ourselves.

That is why the society is devoid of trust and faith. It is said that faith is more fragile than love. We lip read most orators who speak of the unseen, inner world and continue our cudgels with our ambitions and greed.

Aptly said, that unless we personally reach this point in our thought processes, nothing will sink in anyway.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Evolutionary path

 We get our present life based on our performance in other lives. Soul connects, discord, relationships we managed and those we didn’t.

If we look at each one around us, family, friend or foe, we don’t need to be an Einstein to know that there is a reason.

Opening your heart with compassion is enough. Try never to get emotions all knotted up about anyone or anything from YOUR side. We don’t understand that by retaliating, we ARE starting that knot!

If YOU take a wrong step, YOU are on the wrong path. You can’t justify it with any argument accusing another. Your decision is in your hands. Period.

I often sit down and examine my feelings! Intense as I used to be, I have understood that I am in my own space. My mind body spirit are mine. I have come alone and will go alone. So, I need to balance my life between who I really am and who I am here.

You keep trying. Some things work. Some don’t. You fall ! And you rise again, this time hopefully wiser in understanding. And this is a pattern on the path of learning.

But let me learn this fundamental rule. No one and nothing should change the course of your life if you are on the right track. And I don’t mean we should not have examples to follow.

Just that we tend to emulate lifestyles which will not really get us on an evolutionary path. And we must be careful.

Two emotions we MUST avoid are at any cost:

HATRED and ENVY! They just seem to corrode all the goodness within us. And for what reason? No one else is affected but US! And That would be a sad, sad story to tell each time.

 

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

 

Fear of Failure

 

It is said that humans don’t use more than 5 percent of their brains. But, I wonder if we even use our full potential! Do we give ourselves the opportunity of exploring what is within us….?? And we are vast! There is so much talent and capability within us!

And yet, instead of becoming adventurous enough to attempt new activities, we look at others and find ourselves lacking in that spirit which others might have.

Fear rules us for one. The fear of failure! Well, by failing, we learn. With failure, we better ourselves. With failure, we change our ways when something does not work.

Moreover, the emotions inherent within failure are also closely related to “what will people say if I fail!” Losing face! This is a big deterrent and such a futile one! Yes, it is possible that you might be discussed but when you actually succeed, how many are really happy for you? Right? Success and failure are YOURS! Nothing to do with anyone else!

We have one life to learn from

And make the most of! Take a chance with life!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Communication

 

Day by day, things are becoming mechanical with an ever increasing nuisance value! Just look at what we have to tolerate! Keep a cell phone and you are inundated with a million messages, completely meaningless, from call Centre’s you can’t even block! Mindless communication.

You have sales calls harassing you anytime of the day… mercifully, not at night! As yet!

If you block one number, they call you from another. Social media tells you what to watch, who to be friends with and even gently questions you as to why you have not communicated on it for a while.

Money / profits being the whole game, humans are being dragged towards addiction and to losing their sense of good and bad, besides being controlled.

Look at the games we play from the app store. The same level is tough and then made easy when you are giving up, so you can continue and not quit! To keep you on the app, just spiking the challenge a little bit every now and then.

Worse, new inventions are going to create non thinking generations… robots more than humans, thanks to every answer being at their fingertips through just pressing a button. Brilliance will not be defined the way it is today. Artificial intelligence and progressive inventions will render the human being powerless before technology. A huge crutch! Total dependency on technology!

Today, even if our computers pack up, we can do mental math, and much more, because we have been taught it perfectly. We know how to think, feel, understand. We are not helpless. Our thinking faculties still work very well.

Tomorrow, without aids, I wonder what will be the lot of our kids and grandkids, with more ego and more crutches! Where emotions are being programmed into robots, what will happen to the human beings themselves?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

 

Quote of the day

 

Quote of the day

Practice

Your feelings are your own. You don’t need anyone to understand them. And no one really can. Because people can only judge you by surface reactions. No one has the time or interest to know you. And there is no need. You just need to know yourself. Because you don’t thrive on certificates by others but by knowing who you are and becoming immune to what people think of you. If only this one thing can be achieved, that is, immunity to other opinions of you, your personal progress can be accelerated. People always say this is very difficult. But it does become easier and more liberating with constant practice. Surekha Kothari www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com surekhakothari.wordpress.com Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Transformation

 

I had never thought of excess emotion as energy pollution but today, after studying Advaita Vedanta, I am beginning to understand why it is called pollution. It is a mind activity. And imbalanced emotions contribute to turmoil, stress, turbulence and more , spreading a lot of unhappiness all around. It is like cancer cells spreading without control, god forbid!

If we begin to understand that everything from people to relationships to mind, intellect, ego function as per our tendencies, maybe from this life or past lives, we would sit back and think. In either case, these are dangerous because they trigger imbalanced actions without giving a window to reflect before acting.

Fire is a wonderful purifier of the emotional energy pollution. Spend time in front of the fire. Light lamps or candles and meditate in front of them, especially when you are restless, agitated, with some amount of disturbance in the mind.

Nothing lasts! We just have to make an effort, sometimes a Herculean one, to regain our peace. And for this, there is nothing like sharing our love and caring with those less fortunate. Because, often, we become very selfish in our negative states of being.

And of course, befriend the fire element for beautiful transformations.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Life Journey

 You know why we love looking at old family photos ? Not necessarily to see how we looked and how we have changed in appearance but how bonded we looked and were then. When closeness and love shines through photos , we want to relive those moments, days, years.. and so on.

As adults, life changes. Each one’s journey becomes different and as the modern day world is, family members are scattered through the world. Times are very different. Only zoom shots can be shared and saved. The warmth of physical presence, that hug, that tangible energy of love felt in being in the same room is rare.

In any case, after a certain age, photos acquire a very huge emotional importance in the lives of senior citizens. Those are memories to hold onto in their lonely moments. A reason to smile, however wistfully, at the faces looking out from the photo frames, faces that are not within reach , to hold , to caress… children, grand children…. Miles away , for whom we dare not pine for rationally, for isn’t it time to gradually wind up ?

There will come a time for us too, to bid farewell to our loved ones and travel into an unknown space and into the unknown future of our soul whose journey continues … into unchartered waters !

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Observation

 In life, we must learn to tread with a lot of awareness. Just as we breathe , so must we understand its value. It is the elixir of life but how much we take it for granted !

Breath awareness each moment can change our lives. People meditate and notice thoughts reducing over a period of time. Simultaneously, the breath becomes calm and slow. There is a strong connection there.

Thoughts leading to restlessness , anger, and such negativities accelerate the speed of breath and agitated mind results in an agitated breath.

If you start watching your breath, you would be in an almost meditative state through the day. Moreover, thoughts would automatically be controlled and so would emotions.

The trick is to observe everything happening within : the breath, thoughts , feelings, emotions … everything !

But breath is God. And to feel it each minute is the answer to many an issue of the mind.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Emotional state

 One of the myths going around is that elevated people live with their heads among the clouds, and don’t have their feet on the ground. Also within happy emotions all the time. Well, let’s think again !

We all have emotions and we all have attachments too. It is a different matter that our mind refuses to accept our emotional reactions sometimes and chooses to go into depression. Mainly, we are in the “expectation and disappointment” mode.

What is different about elevated people is , that they ACCEPT their emotional state and live through it. Non acceptance and denial

are both unhealthy. It is a fact that if you push anything away, you have not dealt with it. Because you have not liked it.

A simple point to understand but takes a while to practice. It is not that hard, however, if we train ourselves. It is certainly the wiser thing to do.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Parameters

 

Being emotional by nature is a very stressful trait. Not only is sensitivity an integral part of this state , so is depression. In a world filled with a standard “no problem” answer to every huge bottled up issue, depression is a normal condition.

What is significant is, we may confuse the symptoms of spiritual growth and depression at times, specially when we pretend to be happy when we are actually depressed, often clinically depressed.

It is a fact that when you work on spiritual Growth, there comes a time when you leave behind many earlier “normals” in your life, reaching a point of isolation. You also stop fitting into earlier moulds. But you don’t really think that you are “sacrificing” normalcy. Because you don’t miss the earlier routine which included a certain amount of social interaction. In fact, you might be happier this way.

A depressed state also tends to give a feeling of isolation and a withdrawal from social activities and interaction, and a general lack of interest and excitement... a general ennui.

The only parameters of telling the difference are within. If you are happy and busy with your personal growth by being by yourself and WITH yourself happily, then you are on the path of spiritual growth, because you naturally move into a state of gradual silence, not liking too much mundane conversation and preferring to use time more constructively.

But when you are depressed, either you are numb or wrapped up in your own feelings and hence, uncommunicative. And you need help because you will probably not admit to being depressed and might be showing a false bravado which could be harmful for you.

You never know when depression might be triggered if you are not careful to keep your emotions in check and give yourself more care and attention before others.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day