Principles of Criticism

 This morning, I came across a very important fact in Swamiji’s talk. Makes you think! He talks about principles of criticism.

Jokingly, he says, people who say brutal truths to others about them are often very sensitive when the same is pointed out to them. These are people who are often more interested in brutality than truth. Very often, we find that those who love to criticize cannot face it themselves. In fact, they can’t bear it.

In the scriptures, this is not recommended. They ask you to resist from saying truths of this kind. Instead, they advocate love.

If you have compassion, you need to be gentle and nurturing even in pointing out something to another. Just as you would expect from others.

Actually, critics are those who keep you clean without soap and water. Saints almost never criticize, as you will learn from every Buddha story. But how did he handle people? With warmth and love. Human beings should help each other rise above karmic frailties.

Everyone does not have a charmed life to be able to always be mindful about accepting suffering and hurt gracefully. Life has a heavy karmic agenda for many. For some, the unexpectedness of adversities can be shocking even. But still, they manage whichever way they can. They probably think they have done wonders despite the constant onslaught of karma. However, others around them cannot see the blood tears that have been shed.

That’s why wisdom says, don’t tell anyone what you have endured and continue to endure. More criticism will be the only outcome. There can be a lot of desire to hurt behind the criticism. But, we must be warned that this is not the territory of God.

So, Silence is the best. It is your karma. You face it.

So, tell the truth to someone out of love and gently, in a way that it is accepted and will bring about a welcome change. Let it not result in a vicarious pleasure of having told someone off. And understand that when there is non-acceptance and anger of the person you heap criticism on, that you really need cleaning up as well. Let us worry about our own growth first.

Surekha Kothari

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Faith

 

When you reach a dead end in your mind, just leave everything to the Almighty! Knots will be removed with time. Faith is imperative! Whatever happens in our lives is chosen by us. So, to grumble and resist seems childish. Yes, we HAVE chalked out our agenda based on what we need to learn. But we don’t want some of what happens. We think we deserve better. When understanding dawns, we actually realize that we can move on to the better only once we have learnt from what happens and thus, change our energies to invite better things and better people in our lives. Let us not misunderstand this though and get happy. We need to reinvent ourselves each time we fall in our standards of ethics and morality, in failing to keep a spiritual awareness around us. And more… We can cram one book and give our exams. Or, we can refer to many books, understand the topic in-depth and then appear in the exams. There are no guesses as to which is better and progressive in its outcome. Life is like that. sometimes, a child handles life better because there is very quick recovery from any kind of so called adverse experience. The child does not hold on. And that is what we need to do. Adults reach dead ends either when there is ego activation or when there is a closure.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Peaceful Space

 

When you reach a stage in life where you have faced the onslaught of life in many ways, seen people who are fickle and not loyal, have taken the heat of many negative moments until your hair is grey and your brain cells groaning for some rest, you have finally made it as a senior citizen. Now, just chill. Relax! Have a char minar, as they say. There is no need to explain yourself to anyone. If people love you, they will try to understand you. If not, God bless them all. Just stay within your peaceful space and let the world fly around you

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Transformation

 

I had never thought of excess emotion as energy pollution but today, after studying Advaita Vedanta, I am beginning to understand why it is called pollution. It is a mind activity. And imbalanced emotions contribute to turmoil, stress, turbulence and more , spreading a lot of unhappiness all around. It is like cancer cells spreading without control, god forbid!

If we begin to understand that everything from people to relationships to mind, intellect, ego function as per our tendencies, maybe from this life or past lives, we would sit back and think. In either case, these are dangerous because they trigger imbalanced actions without giving a window to reflect before acting.

Fire is a wonderful purifier of the emotional energy pollution. Spend time in front of the fire. Light lamps or candles and meditate in front of them, especially when you are restless, agitated, with some amount of disturbance in the mind.

Nothing lasts! We just have to make an effort, sometimes a Herculean one, to regain our peace. And for this, there is nothing like sharing our love and caring with those less fortunate. Because, often, we become very selfish in our negative states of being.

And of course, befriend the fire element for beautiful transformations.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Self Absorption

 Someone was just hospitalised ! Someone is on the ventilator ! Someone , we heard, has just passed on ! Age no bar !

What a world we live in ! Suddenly, the phrase “life is fragile” has struck closer to home than ever before !

And yet….

We don’t seem closer to valuing those around us. We are so desensitised to others and so single-mindedly devoted to ourselves that the shock of people close to us suddenly ailing and breathing their last conveniently seems such a remote possibility , however real it actually may be .

The chief concern is , “ when will things be normal ?” “ when can I call a party for 100 people ?

People are on different levels.. understandable ! But , why does death or the possibility of death not touch some people ? Is it denial or self absorption or … what ?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Illumination

 At the end of the day, we are completely responsible only to ourselves .  Our thoughts are cobwebs from which extricating ourselves to separate the wanted and unwanted thoughts is very difficult. We react so quickly to them that the outcome is seldom envisaged.

How much is genuine and how much a mere lip service has to be dwelt on if there is any aspiration to emerge from that cobweb. There has to be a need felt to do so. And that comes only from an awareness and introspection  thereafter.

Our thoughts, words and actions are energy. Once we set them in motion, the outcome is already determined. So, we had better watch out for ourselves.

Today, words designed to please others are uttered without meaning them… very loosely. Like, “ call you tomorrow. “ or “ talk to you later”.  And days and weeks May go by before that happens.  Perhaps seemingly trivial, but significant nonetheless.

There are always two ways to look at this. First would be ..” so what ? I am

Not harming anyone“. A second would be, “why say it at all if your don’t mean it ?” The reply to the first is, “yes, you are harming yourself”.. and, many would call the second hair splitting. Because everyone is so used to this inane conversation today… however, there IS still an outcome which , to split hairs, is not based on sincerity or carrying out the spoken word. So, yes, it is harmful in the long run.

The tendency to pooh pooh such a thought would be commonplace but when self awareness dawns, , it triggers many subtle questions within from which there is no escape. Perhaps, that is why it is easier to look at others and not oneself.

There are many lessons we have forgotten or never learnt. And those are pathways to illumination, should we understand their benefits.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Compassion

 

A man came to a Zen master and asked, “I would like to become a Buddha.” And the master hit him hard.

The man was puzzled. He went out and asked some old disciple, “What kind of man is this? I asked such a simple question and he got so angry. He hit me hard! My cheek is still burning. Is it wrong to ask how to become a Buddha? This man seems to be very cruel and violent!” And the disciple laughed. He said, “You don’t understand his compassion. It is out of his compassion that he has hit you hard. And he is old, ninety years old; just think of his hand – it will be burning more than your cheek! You are young. Think of his compassion, you fool! Go back!” But the man asked, “But what is the message in it?” And the disciple said. “The message is simple. If a Buddha comes and asks how to become a Buddha, what else is there to do? You can hit him and make him aware that you are it. What nonsense you are talking about!” If a rosebush starts trying to become a rosebush, it will go mad. It is already the rosebush. You may have forgotten. Zen says you are in a state of slumber, you have forgotten who you are, that’s all. Nothing has to be done, just a remembrance. That’s what Nanak calls surati, Kabir calls surati – just a remembrance. You have only to remember who you are!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Emotional state

 One of the myths going around is that elevated people live with their heads among the clouds, and don’t have their feet on the ground. Also within happy emotions all the time. Well, let’s think again !

We all have emotions and we all have attachments too. It is a different matter that our mind refuses to accept our emotional reactions sometimes and chooses to go into depression. Mainly, we are in the “expectation and disappointment” mode.

What is different about elevated people is , that they ACCEPT their emotional state and live through it. Non acceptance and denial

are both unhealthy. It is a fact that if you push anything away, you have not dealt with it. Because you have not liked it.

A simple point to understand but takes a while to practice. It is not that hard, however, if we train ourselves. It is certainly the wiser thing to do.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Aspects of our lives

 The most realistic and practical aspects of our lives elude us. These are relationship factors which we consider of prime importance. These are also accompanied by mindsets which may become harmful if we are not careful. The worst of them is attachment. You are done for life because moving on will become extremely difficult.

Children who are like the rising sun often accepts change better than their parents. Coming up in life is like climbing a mountain where all the energy and focus are directed. On the other hand, those who are going down with the setting sun miss the light around them which their children had brought into their lives.

What they must seek now is the light within which is the real light in us all. Going downhill in the darkness becomes easy when we focus our inner light to see the path we are traversing.

Unfortunately, this inner light is blocked only by us and no one else. Out of the pull in the opposite direction which path we have already traversed trying to understand that the light of others is illusory. Why then should we seek illusion yet again, instead of reality, which is our inner light?

So much does not make sense but we continue the senselessness and don’t want to understand anything beyond.

When our eyes become weak with myopia, we wear glasses to correct that myopia to see the very same illusory external world clearly once again, knowing that this is not our destination. So, How about going inward to illuminate our beautiful inner world? Why is it that a majority deprive themselves of this joyful existence? No answers!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Judge

 

The problem in relationships is that we judge our intentions but judge only the actions of others. And since we don’t have a clue about their intentions, we try to interpret their actions. By the way, we go very wrong in this exercise many a time.

How do we really know what someone is going through when they act? It is so possible that the action came from a troubled mind and had nothing to do with any intention to hurt or upset which we promptly DID get... upset! Why? Because we are unable to fathom people's intentions and so, mis judge them.

So, rather than misjudge, do you know what we can do? Just give them the benefit of doubt. Why muddy your mind unnecessarily without possessing any data on others and with only the overt action to go by and to understand from?

We would not want people to do that to us. So, keep single standards and do as you would like others do unto you.

Life is cool. Two steps only...

Benefit of doubt

Move on. Good thoughts to sleep on.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Spiritual awakening

 

The process of Spiritual awakening can be very challenging. We think we will be illuminated and feel light. This may well be, but much later in the journey for most people.

Its a tough process to start letting go , watch the self minutely, examine the quality of each and every thought , letting go of everything that doesn’t serve our spirituality .

Our worldly habits become like extra skins on us which are very painful to

Peel off, though peel off we absolutely must. And the more we do this, the more meaningless the artifice of this world is revealed and the more isolated such a person can feel.  

It is not possible even to share this state with anyone because no one would understand. Some might leave the path because it is arduous. But those who continue must be guided by an inner light that can submerge any darkness on the way.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Realisation

Hankering after what cannot be is just not wise. Everything has to come within the realm of possibilities first, in order to materialise. And anything CAN come within the realm of the possible , the condition being that there is some amount of realisation.

Sometimes, I think it can be as simple as realising the need for a warm shower. But there is a condition here again, that you feel dirty enough to have one. This feeling is what brings the shower within the realm of the possible.

Likewise, one will have to keep peace until there is a trigger , winds change and something different and desirable happens. Realisation doesn’t dawn in people at your time. Only at the right time for them.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Love consistent

If you are able to return love for indifference, you have made it in life. The most difficult thing to do strangers doesn’t really come into this category. The hurt happens only when you face indifference from those who matter to you.

The important thing to know is that, many a time, the indifference you see may be a put on for concealing hurt. You may not know this if you find an accomplished actor opposite you. But even if you miss that, your policy of giving love consistently should make you peaceful and content from your side.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Self defeating exercise

Life is all about defeating yourself to becoming a better "you". Isn't it? But we keep trying to defeat others to feel stronger, superior. What a futile and exhausting task we set ourselves! Reminds me of the story of the man who was sitting on the branch of the tree he was cutting. Which sane person does that?

We take on so many self defeating exercises to show others, whereas the fact is, we need to show ourselves what we can do. Others will see it by and by. And even if they don't, do we live for ourselves or for others? A very important question and with this answer, we will create our life.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: 

www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari