Silence

There are daily stimuli and our responses to them. But we seldom have the awareness of that minuscule pause between them. That pause goes unnoticed because of our lack of awareness. And therefore, that pause which is actually there for us to respond with thought and wisdom becomes a reaction. Only because the ego just flies in to that pause and takes over to change our would have been response to a hasty reaction.

Naturally, if an object comes hurtling towards you, you will instinctively change course to avoid it. But when it comes to a stimulus coming from objects of our dislike, we retaliate instead of changing course at that time. We prefer a collision, a clash also, more than our peace.

This is really strange when we think of it. Two responses to similar stimuli.

People think silence is weakness but it can be the most powerful tool in our evolution. We don’t have to respond each time. Silence works very well. It gives clarity to our thoughts so much so that when we act, it becomes an act of wisdom.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Principles of Criticism

 This morning, I came across a very important fact in Swamiji’s talk. Makes you think! He talks about principles of criticism.

Jokingly, he says, people who say brutal truths to others about them are often very sensitive when the same is pointed out to them. These are people who are often more interested in brutality than truth. Very often, we find that those who love to criticize cannot face it themselves. In fact, they can’t bear it.

In the scriptures, this is not recommended. They ask you to resist from saying truths of this kind. Instead, they advocate love.

If you have compassion, you need to be gentle and nurturing even in pointing out something to another. Just as you would expect from others.

Actually, critics are those who keep you clean without soap and water. Saints almost never criticize, as you will learn from every Buddha story. But how did he handle people? With warmth and love. Human beings should help each other rise above karmic frailties.

Everyone does not have a charmed life to be able to always be mindful about accepting suffering and hurt gracefully. Life has a heavy karmic agenda for many. For some, the unexpectedness of adversities can be shocking even. But still, they manage whichever way they can. They probably think they have done wonders despite the constant onslaught of karma. However, others around them cannot see the blood tears that have been shed.

That’s why wisdom says, don’t tell anyone what you have endured and continue to endure. More criticism will be the only outcome. There can be a lot of desire to hurt behind the criticism. But, we must be warned that this is not the territory of God.

So, Silence is the best. It is your karma. You face it.

So, tell the truth to someone out of love and gently, in a way that it is accepted and will bring about a welcome change. Let it not result in a vicarious pleasure of having told someone off. And understand that when there is non-acceptance and anger of the person you heap criticism on, that you really need cleaning up as well. Let us worry about our own growth first.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Maturity

 

Start your day with a prayer. Make an intention that lasts through the day. Conserve your energy for productive work. Stay away from anything and anyone who creates toxicity in your day.

The most important learning is that no one is indispensable in your world and that you have to create your own little world of peace and happiness. There is plenty around you that can give you both. Maturity and wisdom are the tools. Learning from mistakes is a simultaneous process.

Claim your power and if you have given it away unconsciously or even to undeserving people out of love, reclaim it.

Live in the higher realm of your mind and use your heart wisely.

Decorate each day with your special brand of harmony and joy.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Forgiveness

 Please don’t hate family and don’t practice enmity either. There is a karmic reason for being together. There may be unfinished business from other lives that needs healing. That is why we have been given a chance by the universe to be related by blood. Healing is what we must do, not by distancing but with love and forgiveness.

There is always goodness in everyone. We just fail to connect with it , both in ourselves AND in others. If there was no goodness, we would not be connecting with anyone.

When we put friends above family, we forget that those very friends have issues with their own families. Then why do we find it in our hearts to shun family and make “friends” outside?

Growing up, we had our siblings and cousins as friends. Today, there are distances. Very unfortunate that our egos are more separatist today !

Let us try and rethink our relationships, especially with regard to where we have failed in wisdom. Because where there is love and forgiveness, there is always wisdom.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Fact of Life

 

In our generation, parents were parents first. The friendship angle came only after enough and more respect and obedience were given to them. Defying them and their teachings were a tad difficult and often, impossible. But we grew up just fine, in fact, with an enquiring but aware mind which assessed the value systems we were taught and found them to aid the human touch that makes us human beings of some calibre.

With the onset of insular families, parents gradually started feeling the need to compensate for the lack of senior members of the family that were distanced. So, they felt the need to become friends.

Naturally, all formality had to be dispensed and conversation had to be tweaked to suggest a reduction of the age gap. Simultaneously then, the respect between child and parent also reduced. And soon, parents found their wisdom falling on deaf ears.

There is nothing black or white in life. But, this informality and right to be friends removes a very essential barrier between the teachers and the taught. All filters are removed and children unknowingly start to disrespect the wisdom of their parents, sometimes, even teachers. Consequentially, the conflict between the two increases and becomes a fact of life.

Of course, there is love. How can there not be? But it recedes into the background in the wake of such conflicts that arise from egos and the inability to re-introduce the boundary lines which have been blurred considerably and crossed many times.

I think the quest to teach generations the old Indian model of relationships based on love and respect must made a reality in no uncertain terms. That environment itself has been missing since a very long time. And the concept of “independence” is now based on the all-consuming right to deny / disobey all advice that is not palatable even if it is wise.

How do you infuse the right blend of respect and friendship? The right and effective balance for a harmonious family life?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

A Pinch of Wisdom

 

To get even a pinch of wisdom, we go through a lot of struggle. Of experiencing desire, cravings, anger, envy etc. and then finally, the acceptance that some things are not in our hands. This is one pinch of wisdom but the struggle may be a very long one. We all live on hope. And while there is hope, we often fail to see things as they are.

Hope is not a bad thing. However, an acceptance of the current reality makes life easier, even if it is unpalatable. And change can happen too. Anytime!

The whole world prays since there is a basic realization that only that X factor called God can help. That is the bottom line after realization dawns.

The pinch of wisdom! Surrender!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

 

Wisdom

 

There is never any end to discovering new aspects of our self every day. We are so unlimited actually but still so limited when it comes to our conscious mind dealings. Our awareness is basically confined to what our senses can discern.

When we look beyond, we see a sub conscious mind which holds our many secrets! Many memories! Much lingering feelings we have not healed.

So it is that we suffer, due to the triggers that force a certain kind of behavior. And it seems to bubble up from nowhere.

Healing becomes difficult when we either think wrong or have no time for reflecting. Or even when we hold onto everything we should drop immediately.

Wisdom is the only answer. That dawns when we start looking into and accepting ourselves. Only then, having seen our flaws, will we have the incentive to correct them.

This won’t happen unless we bare ourselves to ourselves.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Spiritual Environment

 

The cause for much suffering is the realization that things could have been done differently. We see a heavy price being paid for our actions.

On the flip side is the dawn of knowledge that nothing COULD have been done differently until the dawn of knowledge, that there was karmic fallout to experience.

Only out of deep suffering comes the thirst for spiritual knowledge although the exposure to a spiritual environment may have been since very early in life.

Attachment is like a leech that does not get unstuck easily. In fact, sometimes never! Leading to hurts, anger, unfulfilled expectations and sometimes the shock of having a diametrically opposite life than envisaged for oneself.

The equations are warped. Simplicity and straightforwardness is equal to suffering. Suffering is due to not knowing any better, translating into ignorance. Wisdom eludes us until “ prarabdha” karma is around us. And vision starts clearing after a great deal of effort and working on oneself.

By the time the vision clears, there is a lot of damage done. But unless our minds extricate from the world, spiritual knowledge cannot be translated into actual practice. One needs to get into the eye of the storm to experience the aftermath of peace.

People say it is better to skim the surface of life rather than suffer. As if it is in the hands of humans! And is that a wise option anyway?

To cultivate wisdom and virtue can take many lifetimes. Avid students of Vedanta also find the worldly journey difficult. But one has to look ahead and bring in the light into our lives, however much darkness may envelope us. And be confident that the light is just beyond the darkness, even if the darkness seems like it is pitch black at the time.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

 

Quote of the day

 

Judging

 Why do people judge others when they know nothing about their story ? Do they feel superior ? Because if they do, they must think again ! They themselves have plenty to hide and are as imperfect as anyone else.

The main crux of the issue is here. The inner eye is blinded. So, we can see only others and their behaviour. This is the most dangerous part of ignorance: to think you know everything when you know nothing ! In fact, you don’t even want to know anything because the prejudice is so intense.

We all look for peace by shunning people and getting within a safe cacoon. But this is just not possible. Because sooner or later, the butterfly will emerge and will have to face strong winds and extreme weather conditions. But alas ! Where is wisdom in the wake of ignorance ?

The biggest burden that Mother Earth carries today is the human being.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

 

Quote of the day

 

Quote of the day

 

Compassion

 There are many attitudes and philosophies rampant in this world. Some believe that it is best to live and let live. Some feel extremely entitled. Some are very class conscious, especially economic status. Some help the needy for publicity and some out of compassion. Some want to be forerunners all the time while some don’t like racing with others and are contented.

It takes all kinds to make this world . The only factor lending to strife is we feel our ways must be accepted by all. It has become a dangerous trend in this world and nothing good can ever come out of intolerance .

It just takes a small amount of wisdom to start minding our world and finding happiness in it. And leaving others to do the same within their worlds. Collision of any kind produces friction which can be avoided . Wisdom is all about knowing when to treat things at face value and when to dig deeper.

One thing is certain. If we must dig deeper, let us do it within ourselves. At no point is digging up the lives of others going to help us .

Let apples be apples and oranges be just oranges. Let us enjoy the different tastes of life instead of getting obsessed with cloning. It can be very boring.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

 

Transformation

 There are speculations now and then about the institution of marriage dying a slow death. I don’t think anyone can deny that marriage is hard work. However, basically, any relationship is hard work .

The essential ingredient in any relationship is commitment. But commitment is also the end result of caring and faith in the relationship.

In every day and age, this is a common denominator : commitment. It is not a fashion statement but a genuine fact. It means the ability to accept another, love despite differences and understand above all, that everyone is imperfect and that perfection is only in the heart , that is, in the love we feel for another.

But what happens in marriage sometimes, is the feeling of ownership of another which is the main cause of the wear and tear. It is a connection between two peopke who are individuals and who forge a bond based on a long term commitment. But still, two separate individuals generally from different backgrounds.

It does require much wisdom, much acceptance of each other and much understanding to not let any ego interference spoil relationships.

We really need to spend more time on our steady introspection and constant accent on transformation. Otherwise, we can miss out on the wonderful experience of inner change and the joy it presents to those of us who incorporate the change .

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Knowledge

 In this age of science and technology, the importance of information and knowledge can never be underestimated. Knowledge is power. Knowledge translates into self - esteem and motivation.

However, is that enough ? There is a third connected branch which completes the first two. And that is WISDOM. Without wisdom, knowledge is theory. Wisdom comes with learning from experiences.

This wisdom is what was derived from the Gurukul system of education where equal importance was given to learning through practice , becoming wholesome individuals and fit enough to take on the responsibilities of being a householder, a spouse, a parent, a respectful and dutiful son or daughter etc.

This was wisdom. Touching the feet of elders was wisdom because taking blessings always kept you humble. It was synergy with your family that each person played a perfect role to keep the unity and love intact.

All this was wisdom. Today, this third arm is kind of handicapped or out of use. The race is only for achievement through information and knowledge. So be it, but somewhere along the way, you will stumble and feel the need for wisdom.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Wisdom

 

Sometimes I wonder about small minds when I hear of people’s real life stories where they carry such huge burdens smilingly.

It is so much more productive to find it in our hearts to keep the love alive.

Sometimes, we have to have our hearts broken several times before we find that fountain of love deep inside which multiplies as we divide it. But we would rather close our hearts than let love ourselves of its cage.

When you don’t feel it inside your heart enough for yourself, people should not expect to receive it from

You but we always make that mistake.

Wisdom is long in dawning if it ever dawns.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari