Lack of Awareness

Do you know what is most essential in life? It is gratitude to existence. We are completely unaware of who we are and where we belong. We are like rudderless ships in the dark night without this knowledge.

The system inherent in the universe works on certain universal values for souls who have been relegated to live on the earth for a few years.

The representation of nurturing humans has been given to parents. You know the story of Lord Ganesha and his brother Kartik? Lord Shiva asked the two to travel round the universe and the one who reached first would be the winner.  Kartik raced around the universe as fast as he could. When he reached home, Ganesha was already there. When asked, Ganesha replied that he had gone around his parents because THEY were his universe. This was the status of parents.

This constant connection to the divine rules was necessary to live through life with peace, harmony and lessons learnt.

The question papers had been given out by the universe for each one of us separately according to our plan for this life. But what did we do? We changed the question paper itself with our limited sense. And the world became full of conflicts, fear and man against man.

We don’t need fanaticism, criticism and fear. We need to understand that we are isolated in our journeys and the heart should be loving, compassionate and kind towards others who seem to be worse off, to help them and uplift them if possible. Crutches are not desirable though human support is a gift to us.

What we are doing is pulling people down to climb up the slippery slopes of an illusory hill. Utter ignorance and lack of awareness. 

Also, let us not forget that to pull people down you have to be below them. Are you content to live in that space? If not, then uplifting yourself is the only answer.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Acceptance

 There is a reason why God isolates you. When the few crutches you thought you had, also stop working. It is a tough call because we have not learnt the art of isolation. We are so dependent and so unobtrusively so, right from birth.

For sometime, you tend to flounder as in deep waters without knowing how to swim. And then, if you are not sinking, you learn to keep afloat at least. That is the first step towards exploring God. The connection gets established only after you experience feeling lost.

The emotion of feeling lonely is a temporary ignorance of the mind. It is actually a state of discovery that we are all in the same boat: ALONE. We come alone and we go alone. It is in between these two that we mess ourselves up until, hopefully, we learn better.

All these facts are so simple really! We even know this at the back of our minds, don’t we? Then why does the mind not accept this?

If we think about it all, reflection would bring in some knowledge. And once we know, we would find it easier to stay on course.

Defiance and anger regress us. Acceptance and finding positive solutions propels us forward.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Sympathize

 

The world today is a difficult one for children. Tough competition, too many temptations and parental ambitions and controls. Not to mention the constant peer pressure.

When I see parents slogging after their children, a part of me knows their challenges and another part sympathizes with the children’s inability to be just children. They bear too much responsibility.

The children of today mature very fast. There are no silly pranks, innocent honesty, the exposure to a rustic life and connection to the earth. Everything they are groomed for generally is goal oriented. In a way, this is not a bad thing. I guess times have changed so much that perhaps, they may never know the days we saw.

Of course, parenting is a tough call today. You have to be very hands on and steer the children towards healthy living. That means keeping them away from temptations of the wrong kind.

By the same token, the distancing of family elders may deprive the children of emotional anchors and wholesome well-being.

Well…. These are just observations. The wheel of life is turning. Times are changing. Progress is being newly defined. Values are being re written. Priorities are vastly different.

It is a different world to which old timers are willy nilly adjusting. Some still suffer with attachments which bring in much sadness. And some have understood that they need to accept inevitable situations and move on.

Ultimately, there IS no option but to accept and adjust. We have the power. But we need to understand the current scenario in order to generate that power and once that point is reached, it becomes easy to let go and move towards your source with peace and joy.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Divine Truth

 

What is the meaning of mindfulness and to live in the present moment? What is the connection?

We need to understand that time is transient. It is flowing constantly. Even as we speak in the present moment which is extremely short, that moment has become the past. And every future moment becomes the short present before it becomes the past. So, really speaking, both the past and future have no permanent existence.

The divine truth that is within us and eternal shines through in that present moment. This is the only moment, the present moment, where we can feel the divine energy. Mindfulness is just this, the divine shining through the present moment.

Once we start living in the present moment, we will realize that we need to go beyond the present moment even, to feel the divine presence. Beyond time is where we realize that we are, in fact, divine consciousness itself.

 

For example, the fraction of seconds between two “on” chants, that empty space is where the divine presence can be felt. Meditation can help in reaching this divine residence.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Circumstances

 

Good sense must always prevail at the worst of times. And one of those worst times is when you feel victimized by life’s circumstances. It doesn’t really solve anything. In fact, depletes all your good energy.

When we enter a dark room, and there is no light, no candle in hand and no way to find one, we try to feel our way back to the door. Do we feel like we are victims of fate because this happened to us? Yes, we might feel angry, frustrated but not like victims.

But somehow, when we feel diminutive and lost without connection to and trust in the divine power within us, we fail to see the way out that door.

Because we MUST know that we came in from a place which was lit up. So, obviously, there IS light out there. We just have to find it.

Goodluck.
Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Lack of maturity

For all the complexes we develop, the seed is somewhere in our childhood. The need for love , comfort, warmth must be met in childhood. Sometimes, even if it IS met, in case of more than one sibling, the tendency to compare leaves some children in a “lack” mode. It is a mere perception. There is only one set of parents turning their worlds upside down to make every child feel loved and at the same time, giving attention where required . And herein lies one problem. Perceptions and comparisons often start here. To give an example, a weaker child takes away for attention naturally. But other children perceive this as “ less” for them. As favouritism .

And when these siblings grow up, the stories of wrongly perceived changing priorities of parents end up in children having complexes of being less wanted than the others. That insecurity and certainly a lack of maturity comes in the way of the parent sibling relationship and children who are now adults, choose to move away or blame parents based solely on perceptions.

There is something to be said about a natural tendency of trust of children in their parents. When a child can confidently say, “ my parents would never play favourites”. Lucky are those parents whose children learn to recognise such qualities in parents and learn to love them and their siblings as well.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

The futility of understanding

The heart gets weary for sure, trying to understand people, their actions, situations, in fact, everything but oneself. Until one day, you don’t want to understand anything anymore. After all, all the whys can take you on the merry go round until vertigo strikes you. And by the time you feel you have understood somewhat, things change again.

The futility of understanding! Rocks your world knocks you down and you gain little! And suffer a lot! Yes, the heart does get very weary. That’s probably why people just live on the surface.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Universal truth

When you want to be photographed, you are asked to present your best angle or profile. Today, everywhere, we must project our best selves too. No one really wants to know what lies behind or beyond with side effects always.

I have seen the most socially successful people who match the above description to the tee, very lonely behind closed doors and sometimes, very depressed because there is no one to bear your heart to. That is sad, don't you think?

What happened to "everyone needs someone”? There are so many empty spaces in the hearts of so many. These manifest in many different ways; often in an obscene display of wealth or in "one upmanship” trying to fill the empty spaces externally to compensate as it were, for those within. But can you ever accomplish that? I doubt. And you also stand alone in the bargain. You might be the object of sycophancy but may not be that of a heart connection.

The ultimate is to fill these spaces with spiritual thought and study and thus, to become grounded in the universal truth.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Strategy

How to be a good loser! A great asset in life...to have the philosophy that someone has to win and someone has to lose. I just play my best. Sports teach you how to face the world and your circumstances minute to minute.

Life is like that opponent who swings his racquet to hit the ball but you don't know how it has spun and where it is going to fall. You just have to be prepared to receive it, hit it with your best strategy back to life...no warning. No notice.

And this is why life becomes your best teacher....

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Our Ego

Banking and karma are very similar. You open an account. You make certain investments, including FDs. Sometimes, when investments are bad ones, they give you losses. And good ones, dividends.

Once our karma account is opened, we should try to make good investments. Otherwise, we will find our account of good karma depleting very fast and then we are left with very little balance.

There is always a tussle between the need to create good karma and the blocks we create with our ego. We need to work on understanding this big time.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Tradition

It is pretty awesome to see joint families living in harmony even today, respecting all the relationships within and giving space to each person while connecting wisely. I have to share this true story of a gujrati family where 80 to 85 members live, united and caring of each other. You will wonder...HOW is it possible? Let me say this. The seeds of such living are planted very early, with traditions, principles and values in place, too. Every member, therefore, knows only this way of life which can't be faulted really. If only all humanity could learn to live this way, with a give and take of love, harmony and wisdom! The philosophy is, live like a well oiled machine which is highly productive. The members are the parts of the machine and the oil is the love, understanding, caring and generosity, all of these looked upon as love based generations.

So, this family has one large home where only the parents live now. They have been wise enough to give every child another home as they got married. But, there is only one kitchen, the one in the parental home. All the ladies have to take over and share the administration of the kitchen in turns. Any guest has to come only to the main home. If one member's business takes a knock, the others compensate for the loss and support that member.

What would you call this? Unconditional love? Duty consciousness? The upbringing? Genuine emotions for each other? It is so uplifting to even think of such an existence. I love this story because I grew up in a joint family, though in a smaller set up, but have seen these emotions at work and have been a recipient as well. Today, when I see so much artifice in society, I like to dwell on this story. It has the power to make me instantly happy.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Compulsions

How many compulsions we have to deal with in life on a regular basis! A lot of energy is lost if we look at them as necessary evils. To HAVE to do something against our wishes needs an instant infusion of extra energy in the form of mustering up a little more enthusiasm than we actually want at that point.

There is heaviness and reluctance and a need to just become invisible so that there is no compulsion foisted on us.

But actually, that compulsion could be pushing us towards new experiences which we would be deprived of otherwise. It is like not wanting new experiences and getting caught in a limited space because we are comfortable there.

I have realized this fact. And each time I have surrendered to compulsions, I have gained in one way or another. Rather than avoid them and miss out on a piece of life. It could be that the universe wants us to have that experience and that may be the right time for it. And maybe, we would emerge wiser, better and happier in the bargain.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Responsibility

In all my years of counseling and healing, I have known most families as dysfunctional. Today, if people are opting more for friends than family, unfortunately, things have evolved to this situation.

The tragedy is that over the years, economic and social differences crept in and comparisons corroded the fabric of closeness and unity. 

It is amazing how "family" members stake ownership without owning the responsibility aspects in the family. They feel "deprived" without working, wronged without adding value and demand without deserving.Not only are marriages in trouble but materialism has almost destroyed many families.

Another important aspect that has developed is the indiscipline of the youth and their insolence with elders, playing favorites, taking sides and open antagonism. It is disturbing to see that there are no controls on them and elders are so helpless. Or, in some cases, it is elders who encourage this due to their own prejudices. They don't realize how they are damaging their own children in the long run.

We really need to introspect and change our priorities and revert back to some of the earlier values that kept families together. This can happen only if family members also became friends and practice the same modes of attitudes and behavior that they do with friends. Why unrealistic expectations with regard to family members?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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