For all the complexes we develop, the seed
is somewhere in our childhood. The need for love , comfort, warmth must be met
in childhood. Sometimes, even if it IS met, in case of more than one sibling,
the tendency to compare leaves some children in a “lack” mode. It is a mere
perception. There is only one set of parents turning their worlds upside down
to make every child feel loved and at the same time, giving attention where
required . And herein lies one problem. Perceptions and comparisons often start
here. To give an example, a weaker child takes away for attention naturally.
But other children perceive this as “ less” for them. As favouritism .
And when these siblings grow up, the
stories of wrongly perceived changing priorities of parents end up in children
having complexes of being less wanted than the others. That insecurity and
certainly a lack of maturity comes in the way of the parent sibling
relationship and children who are now adults, choose to move away or blame
parents based solely on perceptions.
There is something to be said about a
natural tendency of trust of children in their parents. When a child can
confidently say, “ my parents would never play favourites”. Lucky are those
parents whose children learn to recognise such qualities in parents and learn
to love them and their siblings as well.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
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