Showing posts with label encouragement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label encouragement. Show all posts
Wednesday, 20 December 2017
Monday, 30 January 2017
Tradition
It is pretty awesome to see joint families living in harmony
even today, respecting all the relationships within and giving space to each
person while connecting wisely. I have to share this true story of a gujrati
family where 80 to 85 members live, united and caring of each other. You will
wonder...HOW is it possible? Let me say this. The seeds of such living are
planted very early, with traditions, principles and values in place, too. Every
member, therefore, knows only this way of life which can't be faulted really.
If only all humanity could learn to live this way, with a give and take of
love, harmony and wisdom! The philosophy is, live like a well oiled machine
which is highly productive. The members are the parts of the machine and the
oil is the love, understanding, caring and generosity, all of these looked upon
as love based generations.
So, this family has one large home where only the parents
live now. They have been wise enough to give every child another home as they
got married. But, there is only one kitchen, the one in the parental home. All
the ladies have to take over and share the administration of the kitchen in
turns. Any guest has to come only to the main home. If one member's business
takes a knock, the others compensate for the loss and support that member.
What would you call this? Unconditional love? Duty
consciousness? The upbringing? Genuine emotions for each other? It is so
uplifting to even think of such an existence. I love this story because I grew
up in a joint family, though in a smaller set up, but have seen these emotions
at work and have been a recipient as well. Today, when I see so much artifice
in society, I like to dwell on this story. It has the power to make me
instantly happy.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Friday, 28 October 2016
Monday, 17 October 2016
Acceptance
Kindness!
It is more important than love. When you are kind to one another, you build up
a reservoir of positive energy between you which can be then used towards those
who find it difficult to be kind...people who have faced much unkindness and
have become hard and hardened.
I
have understood that you can be kind to everyone without engaging your emotions
to judge them. That's when you fail to be kind...when you sit in judgment.
It
requires a certain acceptance of habits or ways that you may not find palatable
by your standards (which is understandable). But it is not necessary that
people should be like you. It IS essential to view them in their own context of
their upbringing, disappointments, thought patterns, experiences etc and
understand why they are who they are. Once this happens, kindness may come more
easily.
We
feel being kind takes away something from us because we are constantly looking
for gratitude, acknowledgement of the kindness and more. We often feel people
have to be beholden to us. That is really not the way it is. Gratitude is the
business of the receiver and not the giver of kindness. So, let us not reverse
the formula by giving and then also expecting. This takes away from the giver.
Let
the receiver evolve through the right practice of gratitude for it is his on us
in the spiritual order.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Wednesday, 12 October 2016
Friday, 16 September 2016
Saturday, 3 September 2016
Friday, 2 September 2016
Wisdom
Adults
who have psychological issues need to look at their growing up years. Parenting
comes very hard to some parents. It is very common, especially in India for
family and friends to foist their expectations and opinions on each other.
Hardly
a year goes by for the newly married couple when people start wondering if
everything is alright in their marriage. Why? Because they haven't announced
that they are on their way to becoming parents. ..Children are therefore, often
the desired "objects" that make couples feel "normal". And of
course, if the "object" is a boy, then the parents hold exalted
images. But they may not have been ready for parenting, or wise for that matter.
As
a result, many children are mal nourished emotionally because the parents are
not mature themselves. And they grow up minus the wisdom that should accompany
the love, caring and attention. So, some children become lonely. Some become
recluses. Some become overburdened with expectations. Some become attention
seeking....and some try to draw attention though
anything sensational, even killing.
Parents
really have to be very careful about exercising wisdom in their own lives and
lives of their children.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Wednesday, 24 August 2016
Idealism
I
met someone recently after a long time and was really delighted to see some
profound changes. Though we had not been more than good acquaintances, the transformation was glaring, even for
me.
And I once again started thinking about
why we find it in our hearts to have such fixed opinions about people. It is
almost as if we write them down in stone and swear not to change them. Either
we are blind to people we love or unforgiving
of those we are prejudiced towards.
We don't realize that change is a constant for anyone and
everyone. We know that the same person reacts to different people in different
ways. We see various aspects of the same person. That is because of these very
fixed notions about people in their heads that prevent a different perspective,
another vision.
Often, those who have not been close
are suddenly observed to be very close. How
does it happen?
If the motive is not of wanting
something from a person, then it is because the change
has been seen and forgiveness has set in.
Let this become a norm and genuine integration of souls can
happen. I am told by many that I am idealistic. But idealism of today was
realism at one time and can be again.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Thursday, 18 August 2016
Thursday, 11 August 2016
Journey
At some point, when you have been running and running for a really long
time, you have to stop and ask, "Why am I running? Has it gotten me
anywhere that I really
want to be?
Whether you run after things or people or your hopes or dreams, the
levels of exhaustion are directly proportionate to the levels of satisfaction
and success. And even then, in time this wears off too....everything has a
saturation point after which it becomes kind of redundant...stops mattering in the larger scheme of things.
And if it doesn't, then maybe there is a longer journey ahead or a
different journey ahead...one thing is sure. We will continue to search even
after all the worldly gains have been achieved, because there is the matter of
the spirit which is still pending.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Wednesday, 10 August 2016
Generation
Every generation
wishes it was born in the next generation. There are more doors of opportunity, more evolution every few
years…
The minus here
is that the earlier generation does not necessarily have the ability to adapt
to changes, especially in the academic field. Of course, knowledge brings in
many more changes, e.g., in sophistication, behavioral patterns and many personality aspects.
Today, when I
see the elders keeping pace with trends, technology and the overall pace of life, I feel a deep sense of respect
for them. At least, they try. The youth of today does not probably realize how
challenging it has been for their parents' generation to survive within the
rapid growth of societies, waiting to be loved and wanted by their children who
have moved into a bubble of contemporary life, with not enough compassion for
the elders , many of who have not been as privileged.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Monday, 8 August 2016
Attachment
It is inevitable that in our
journey, some stay with us all along and some fulfill the reason they were in
your life and move away. It is absolutely ordained and within the plan of our life.
Forming attachments along the
way makes this learning difficult. Much grief, sorrow and unacceptability comes
our way, leading to an arrest in the growth process. We were not meant to
gather so much negativity. But learning such lessons with wisdom would make our
tough karma easier to handle, though inevitable to experience.
Like a child that fails in
exams when it has not learnt the right lessons, life is one such exam where
learning does not come only from mugging but observing, introspecting, experiencing,
making wise decisions and choices and then arriving at the right path.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Friday, 5 August 2016
State of chakras
Coincidences! Are there any? I don't believe there are. From
a line you read, to a book you select from a shelf to people you meet, the food
you attract, and the clothes you wear...our external world mirrors our inner
world.
Some days, for example, we may choose some colors to wear and
other days, other colors. There is a reason. Colors reflect the state of our
chakras and define our
moods. Food preferences define us.
Of course, as we change our preferences, so we demonstrate the way we are transforming. Like, when a non veg turns a veg, there is surely a change within. Similarly, if you start observing yourself in these ways, you will know yourself much better and succeed in making the changes you feel you should be making for yourself. This expedites our evolution.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Thursday, 4 August 2016
Wednesday, 27 July 2016
Thursday, 21 July 2016
Destined
Destined! I used to believe for a long time
that we can do ANYTHING we want to. Life proved otherwise. But with a corollary
not everything we want can be achieved. But when that understanding dawns and
we are able to accept and let go of that desire, miraculously, other
opportunities begin to shine before us. And those often are what our inner
calling is.
The question is, at what stage do we become sensitive
to this awareness?
And how do we remain untainted by the
pollution of our desires which may not be in sync with what the Universe has
chosen for us? It is very possible if we learn to understand the symbolic
language in which the Universe speaks to us.
Many of us have
had the experience that during a questioning phase, you open a book and
suddenly, your answer is there. Or, someone around you will say something which
is just the reply you are looking for. This is the supporting language of the Universe.
If you go deeper and start observing everything with a microscopic awareness,
each minute will become very profound in its information and knowledge.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Tuesday, 7 June 2016
Tuesday, 31 May 2016
Sunday, 29 May 2016
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