Showing posts with label attachment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attachment. Show all posts
Wednesday, 5 May 2021
Wednesday, 16 December 2020
Love and Attention
Loved ones weaken your strength
sometimes. How much of that feeling is
love and how much attachment is vital to your well being. “Moha” which is
attachment is considered a human affliction because it borders on ignorance of
our spirituality. Attachment is limited to our time on the earth and makes us
needy and dependent. On people, on material Possessions etc. Even on getting love and attention. Crutches!
It pays to get stronger with every realization
of being attached or it will keep us rooted while others move on.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Sunday, 5 January 2020
Sunday, 3 November 2019
Energies to challenge
I was talking to a friend about how stress
can pile up on you because of your vulnerability to some relationships. These
people know which buttons to press to make you go a little crazy sometimes some
contentious relationships which can’t be severed and can’t be tolerated. It is
as if two people are just waiting with their fangs out, ready to pounce on each
other. And even if this sounds funny, it is really not, when you are within the
situation.
Change this and you can get the ownership
of yourself back. Changing this means changing and transforming the feelings
that induce and lead to the war like environment. Not allow anyone to take away
your choice of response and turn it into an angry or frustrated rejoinder.
We can’t smoulder from within and keep a
peaceful front for too long AND retain our health as well. So, either we have
to completely get away from such people or decide that they are not getting
anywhere with you. That you remain unaffected even amused.
The best way to change your energies is to
challenge yourself to become immune and get your control back. And hope no one
thinks that this is a minor task and can be accomplished with just a “hey presto!
“
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Sunday, 15 September 2019
Disentanglement vs detachment
Disentanglement vs detachment:
In these modern times, the one person who
makes practical sense in terms of interpreting old values seems to be Sadguru.
The important point to note is that everything comes back to each succeeding
generation in a new package, with a certain twist.
One day, I was having a discussion on
attachment with my guru and telling him how I wished to be detached like sadhus
like him are. And he had smiled and said," even sadhus have attachments. I
was a little thrown by that statement, purely because of my own mindset which I
had cultivated by reading old texts and listening to many lectures of spiritual
orators. Sometimes, introspection on some statements can fall short and belief
systems formed by half knowledge.
Sadguru explains very convincingly that if
you think detachment is what you are here for, you can find ways of dying right
now, because you are not here to learn detachment. If you are not attached, how
would you experience life, the purpose for which you were born? The reason we
suffer is not due to attachment but the mind getting entangled with people,
situations, and emotions.
When that happens, you cannot extricate
yourself from the experience whereas the idea is to experience and move on.
We can even call it living each moment
completely. And living IN the moment each minute and moving ahead with a clean
slate each time and from each experience. Somewhat like the magic white board
which turns white every time, after being written on in many different colors.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog:
www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Sunday, 21 April 2019
Tuesday, 11 December 2018
Monday, 19 March 2018
Thursday, 28 December 2017
Monday, 27 November 2017
Tuesday, 3 October 2017
Physical level
All our lives we try and try and try...to
grow and grow and grow...
We run to every opportunity there is...for
healing. Different methods, a rehash of similar methods, meditation camps,
workshops, tarot cards, astrology, angels, pranayama, pranic healing, reiki, hypnotherapy...etc....
And once you have been everywhere, you
realize that nothing really changes if you don't change yourself through self
practice. At that stage, you feel you have read enough, listened enough,
imbibed enough. And now it is time to experience. This is perhaps the starting
point for change. And this is what is the most significant landmark in your
life. Whatever else you may do with your life on the physical level.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Thursday, 14 September 2017
Wednesday, 14 December 2016
Personalities
I just had to write on the post below. I don't think we even KNOW how
much in fear we live, in the name of love. We cling on to our "near and
dear" in the name of caring, sharing, unity etc. Parents claim to love
children. Children claim equally to love their parents. Friends claim to love
each other. But often, we see so many power games being played. The more
rampant the ego, the more power play we see. Powerful or powerless? In control
or controlled?
We readily compromise our personalities, our choices, swallow our tears
when hurt , smile when we want to scream foul play or blue murder....haven't we
seen enough misery in "families" , in fact, in most groups? ...and in
the bargain, we lose ourselves trying to procure a bit of love, to feel wanted.
We don't realize we go along with the wrong, the unjust, even the callous
because we want to feel good in being a part of people, and then we stop
thinking. We just have to toe the line. And we do...all the time. It is easy.
Exercising the right choice and thinking for ourselves may set us apart ...that
is scary, to say the least.
Exactly as the post says. We are so afraid of "losing" others
that the fear of loneliness results in our opting to lose ourselves instead for
a temporary happy feeling.
How heavy a price is this for our soul! Our journey is alone. We are
like passengers on a train who meet for a while and disembark when we reach our
destination. I have never seen any passenger telling another to go home with
them and live and die together. Have you?
But we know of people who had a mission and who had the courage to forgo
many an impediment to retrieve their inner core and energy from the people,
places and events to which they had lost it. So don’t be afraid to lose people,
be afraid of losing yourself.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Monday, 3 October 2016
Connection
The
heart and mind connection! I read a post that said, the heart wants to hold on
but the mind wants to move on. It set me thinking...is this true? Does the
heart not want to move on? And does the mind never want to hold on? Hmm …
I started to analyze the mind, mine and that of others I
know, and I feel the mind can really hold on...to emotions, thoughts...it does
not know how to let go easily, especially the negative ones.
The heart on the other hand, finds freedom in letting go because holding on is not necessarily love which is the prime characteristic of the heart.
Actually,
it is attachment which gets confused with love and that is what holds on to
what is “mine” as compared to yours.
What do
you think, friends?
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Friday, 23 September 2016
Honesty
In Hindi, there is a saying, "jhooth ki umar
bahut chhoti hoti hai". And I have seen this coming true around me.
Growing up, lying used to be tantamount to a small crime in my parents' home.
The philosophy was that if you let small lies pass, they may turn into bigger
ones later.
Today, no one lies. It is called diplomacy. You
just say what the other person wants to hear. Never mind if it is not the
truth. Truth is trivial if it causes conflicts. Who wants to hear it? And this
is how one builds up relationships.
The opacity that has set in
because of such attitudes has gone a long way in corroding the fabric of
transparency and honesty. I don't know how one can justify these patterns in
society if one wants to genuinely change the social order.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Thursday, 22 September 2016
Wednesday, 21 September 2016
Aspirations
As a
therapist, I see many mood swings in people. I see this emotional see saw in
many people. I have seen it at close quarters, among close acquaintances and
family, too, sometimes. And earlier in life, in myself as well.
There
are many, many, many factors at work. The upbringing , memories from other
lives, complexes in this life, aspirations and struggles to achieve dreams,
relationships and their aftermath...and much , much more.
But
more important is the one reason for the yoyo
syndrome: a paucity of self belief and consequently, of the higher power
within. It is almost like, there is electricity and there are bulbs to light up
but we don't know that a switch is required to illuminate the surroundings.
That knowledge and the reason for the darkness are the keys to stabilize
ourselves.
As Jagadguru says, we and only we are
responsible for our miseries, our joy and our mental, emotional and
intellectual status.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Thursday, 15 September 2016
Wednesday, 14 September 2016
Detachment
The greatest awareness to build up is that
anything can happen anytime! Complacence is the last thing we should have,
especially about our health. Someone just bends down or picks up a heavy bag
and is afflicted with a slip disc issue. Another sneezes and has a retinal
detachment.
Car accidents happen in a fit of anger,
depression or rage.....we think it happens to other people , only until such
time as , much to our shock and disbelief, it happens to us. A lesson for
constant awareness of our own health first...always exercises caution!
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Friday, 9 September 2016
Quality of emotion
People say it is good to take
people and things at face value ....hmmm...really? But what is the end result
of taking such an attitude? Evidently, something like taking everything with a
pinch of salt! So, that makes for a lot of salt in the system! And salt retains water in the body. Water, you know, is a symbol of
emotions. Which means, if you are taking that attitude, you are doing it
superficially and suppressing
a lot of emotion in the bargain?
Otherwise, how come people who appear to be breezy, nonchalant
and least affected are afflicted with serious ailments? Strokes! Heart attacks!
Lung diseases! These reflect an inability to breathe in life positively.
Excess emotion can be a big killer. So, it is always better to accept
the quality of emotion you are feeling, run through it and cleanse it
immediately. We can pretend before others. Can we run away from ourselves?
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
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