Showing posts with label Perfect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Perfect. Show all posts
Thursday, 24 October 2024
Wednesday, 26 October 2022
Acceptance
Our natural tendency is to freeze the happy moments of our lives and keep revisiting them, often to get away from the unhappy ones. We forget that those have been experienced already but the unhappy ones have not found acceptance and peace within us. It is a subtle form of denial!
Recovery happens with both types
of experiences, by learning to repeat the behavioural patterns which brought in
happiness and by not repeating the behaviour that resulted in unhappiness.
But, like Duryodhana who told
Krishna that he knew what was right but didn’t feel like doing it, we also know
what we should be doing, but still continue with actions which definitely must
bring in only unhappiness and suffering.
Again, the human brain understands
this perfectly. It is just not accompanied by wisdom.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Sunday, 28 October 2018
To be perfect
The burden of trying to be perfect! The
heaviest that you can carry. Firstly, there is nothing like being the best
because there will always be someone better than you. Secondly, even trying to
be your own perfect self is a huge task, fraught with a lot of pain which often
ends in self criticism and self doubt. If you fall short in anything you do,
imagine how you feel let down by none other than your own self!
Anyway, the most import ant question: why
do you seek to be perfect anyway? For others to admire you or for your sake,
because your standards may be high? But what is the need for your standards to
be so high that you pile on anxiety and stress in trying to be perfect?
I agree that there is a certain way we all
have of doing things. Like, organizing an event or a party or doing business or
socializing. And we do pick up ideas of bettering ourselves from others if we
see something we like and would like to emulate.
But, the "I am the best" feeling
becomes a stress eventually. You have to sustain that "I am the best"
in every word and action. Painful!
As a friend asked me recently, why can't
you say "so what" to yourself? So, if you are simply dressed for a party!
So what? So, you didn't feel like attending an event. So what? So, someone
didn't greet you at a get together. So what? Their loss! We can and should
lighten ourselves up this way instead of carrying unsustainable burdens of
standing out, of being singled out, of always turning heads when you walk in.
And also, having heads turn away. Doesn't matter if they do, so what?
So, "so what" is going to be my
theme song from now and I wonder what result it will bring in my life. But why
even wonder? Whatever happens, so what?
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Sunday, 21 October 2018
Consistency
Consistency of anything is an absolutely
essential path to excellence. Like a rough diamond that is polished and
polished yet again until it is perfect.
Speaking specially of god given talents, it
would be a pity to just let them languish in favor of idleness or frivolous
activity. Indeed, one has to devote full time to hone a talent and therein lays
the problem with many... too many sacrifices of "good times". But
there can never be a substitute for the joy of reaching the heights of soul
activities like music, dance, fine arts...
We only have to look at the Reality Shows
to see the enormous amount of talent inherent within us. And the dedication
with which these youngsters are working with parental backing. Thank the lord ,
parents are emerging from their narrow cocoon like minds to come out in full
support of whatever it takes to see their children among the "stars".
As one young girl proudly said of her
parents..." they are my super powers". How wonderful!
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
SpeakingtreeBlog:
Tuesday, 17 July 2018
Emotional shoes
Getting into someone's emotional shoes is
very difficult. Sometimes, people are not even aware of what others go through.
I mean the "near and dear" ones. A lack of compassion!
Probably I can't but be cynical when
everyone makes the "right" moves and overtures because it is festival
time and about the rest of the year, the less said the better.
Socializing, partying, endorsing
"friendships" by being with friends and spending time with them has
become more gratifying than spending time with family.
There should be less hypocrisy and more
honesty because the world has changed and those who crave for family
relationships must become wiser , less expecting and read the writing on the
walls which are loud and clear.
I see so much isolation in the hearts of
those who grapple to give a genuine smile to the world. It seldom reaches the
eyes. Amidst the loud noise of the crackers, hearts are teary and heavy.
I am not morose, just saying it as I see
it. And my heart goes out to those who have no joy in their hearts, whether
Holi or Divali because they don't want to go through the rights motions just
for a day anymore.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Sunday, 24 June 2018
Happy living
Saving good energy is vital to happy
living. Once you get sensitive to energy, it becomes much easier to sense what
we call "bad vibes" from someone. Means negative energy directed
towards you. And you need to be very strongly positive to be immune to it. Mostly,
we are not.
So, until you become strong, it certainly
would be the wiser option to stay away. Contrary to neither what many term this
it is, not running away nor cowardice. It is merely a self protecting method. We
owe it to ourselves because we seldom find someone who would act as a
protective shield.
I say this from personal experience. Stay
away and cleanse yourself from anything you don't want others to foist upon
you. The more you are unaffected, the more you will continue to cleanse and be
less and less affected until one day, you will smile and deflect the
"vibes" you don't want to accept.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Thursday, 10 May 2018
Thursday, 26 April 2018
The best of times
We humans are so brilliant at forcing
things to happen. Actually, we don't realize it but we are forcing the hand of
God. Everything happens at the right time but patience is not a virtue at the
best of times.
Remember the story of the cocoon that was
forced open before time for the butterfly to emerge but it resulted only in its
destruction.
Everything happens as preordained. The
birth of a child, the ripening of fruit on the tree, the rise and set of the
sun , the waxing and waning of the moon, a wedding of two people, dawn and
dusk... even our destiny unfolding. It is such an egoistic illusion that we do
anything.
Forcing something before time upsets the
natural balance and the order of things. If we look back, we can remember
several such incidents. The only way it works is watch as life unfolds and let
it determine the direction of the flow.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Thursday, 5 October 2017
Writing and sharing
Writing and sharing is such a cleansing and
elevating experience! Each time I write, I add a new thought to my own thought
bank. Something to chew on. Like, wow! I have unearthed another aspect, another
angle, deepening my understanding that much more.
After a while, it tends to become an
addiction. There is always an excitement before developing a thought. Like,
what will I discover next?
Thoughts being the prime energy, this
energy expands into new horizons as we write, think and write again. Every
spoken word, every line read somewhere…just about everything is available for
thought application if there is enough awareness and interest.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Tuesday, 17 January 2017
Perfect
No one is perfect. All that we can do is try to work towards
getting better by the minute. It is not about how much we hurt. It is about how
much we can heal that hurt...and better still, how we can avoid getting hurt.
With the right understanding.
The more we identify with our body, our thoughts, emotions,
the less we are aware that we are far beyond these.
So, it is first about knowing who we are not. Where is the
hurt registering? Who is feeling that hurt? Why the hurt at all? We don't dwell
on these important questions. If we did, we would come to some understanding
about ourselves. The confusions in our lives are very much connected here.
The basic fact is that we get involved in the emotions of
the characters we play in the drama of life. And we forget that we are only
playing a character. We take everyone and everything too seriously, getting
caught in the illusory web of permanence.
Do we know that there is a little watchman within us called
"Drashta" that watches every thought, every emotion, every action and
reaction. And this drashta wants us to become an observer with it, to help
understand all of these matters of our spiritual reality. A reality which can't
be perceived while we are in it, with all the burden of baggage that we carry.
Let
us be free from all that. Let us not worry about being perfect. Let us just try
to be better humans and better spirits. The rest will follow...
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
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