Showing posts with label Connected. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Connected. Show all posts

Thursday, 6 June 2019

Human kindness


When you go through something major in life, like a trauma, a sudden episode where the presence of God really hits you, there occurs a major change in your life, in your priorities. What used to matter so much seems trivial, even laughable? The first thing that hits you is, what was the point of giving less importance to yourself, your health and more to external factors  and more important, the unimportant factors.
Most of us make this mistake. Yes, I do call it a mistake because often, you lose awareness of your own body, mind and soul in catering to outside circumstances and people. Definitely not worth it in the long run, is it? You need people when you are unwell and there is no guarantee they will be there. Instead, just be well. Look after yourself first. Wear your oxygen mask first. And then, use the milk of human kindness to help others.
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com


Sunday, 10 September 2017

Consideration

Relationships are longer lasting if they are spontaneous. When you keep away, despite closeness, out of too much consideration or an "iffy" attitude, you end up creating a vacuum in the other and often, distances may crop up gradually but surely. I have seen cases where one of the two in a relationship actually drives it. The other sits back for whatever reason. This is just one type which struggles to survive.
I really wonder whether there are too many "equal" relationships in this world. Spontaneous and happy.
Most of my clients struggle with inequality. It is amazing how simple answers aren't forthcoming or visible at the best of times and people love to wallow in their self created, self pity, aided by complex thinking inspired by a complicated mind.
They say, heart connections are more enduring. But I have seen them transform into controlling tendencies or over sized expectations.
Then again, heart and head connections are advocated. But if one has more heart and the other has more head, it might pose a challenge.
So, what works best is to just be you because life is a challenge for each of us. Often, just trying to manage relationships becomes stressful. So, stop managing (or manipulating) and start living your own life and live it well. Because living someone else's life is something you can't do without a lot of confusion and pain. You were not meant to in the first place.
And the good news is, some people will always walk through your life.
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com


Tuesday, 17 January 2017

Perfect

No one is perfect. All that we can do is try to work towards getting better by the minute. It is not about how much we hurt. It is about how much we can heal that hurt...and better still, how we can avoid getting hurt. With the right understanding.
The more we identify with our body, our thoughts, emotions, the less we are aware that we are far beyond these.
So, it is first about knowing who we are not. Where is the hurt registering? Who is feeling that hurt? Why the hurt at all? We don't dwell on these important questions. If we did, we would come to some understanding about ourselves. The confusions in our lives are very much connected here.
The basic fact is that we get involved in the emotions of the characters we play in the drama of life. And we forget that we are only playing a character. We take everyone and everything too seriously, getting caught in the illusory web of permanence.
Do we know that there is a little watchman within us called "Drashta" that watches every thought, every emotion, every action and reaction. And this drashta wants us to become an observer with it, to help understand all of these matters of our spiritual reality. A reality which can't be perceived while we are in it, with all the burden of baggage that we carry.
Let us be free from all that. Let us not worry about being perfect. Let us just try to be better humans and better spirits. The rest will follow...

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com