RISE in love

Most of us are in love with the idea of love. I have a terrific blind spot when the phrase “falling in love” is voiced.

We need to “RISE in love”.

Love is a commitment to YOURSELF. It is not an emotion that is given away easily and withdrawn as easily. 

Our knowledge of anyone is initially at best, superficial. Maybe, better in the years to come. But yet, never complete because everyone changes and keeps changing, including us. The same person you knew and developed feelings for is not that person today and will not be tomorrow. And this applies to you and all of us as well.

Then how does a relationship survive? On this very understanding. On acceptance of that change. On loving the actual person WITH this constant change.

We must understand that each one of us has different reactions to the same episode. And our psyche keeps changing differently.

Depth comes into a relationship only in time and with indulging the idiosyncrasies of each other and smiling at them. Becoming each other’s best friends.

Provided we give it enough time for a real friendship to develop.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Self-Destructive

“Letting go” is more a philosophical statement than a genuine attempt for most people. Sounds wise on the lips. But without any meaning if not practiced. The phrase is not meant to be just spoken about.

These are all personal practices for ourselves. We live in a family, in a community where there WILL be a wear and tear of emotions and feelings and even reactions in the name of being “human”. But instead of harboring the adversely affecting emotions, can we let go of them immediately as they arise? Knowing that they are harmful to us and no one else? Or do we come under the category of “self-destructive”?

Actually, we have a tendency to get into conflict, retaliate, get hurt, shun people and ultimately, lose relationships. And ironically, we are the ones who have suffered on that emotional see saw without seeing any change whatsoever in the people we have conflicted with, except blame for us.

The question I always ask myself is: would I carry a burning coal in my hands just because someone gave it to me? Obviously NOT!

But in many ways, we ARE carrying grouses within us, which are like carrying burning coals, which come from others because we don’t have the wisdom to LET GO. We are unable to focus on what is good for our mental health and peace of mind. And therein lies our core of restlessness and frustration.

When maturity finally dawns, we are able to laugh at ourselves at our earlier foolishness. And we automatically start to let go of the unnecessary burdens we carry.

Learning to discard and delete does not have to be learnt from AI. We have our own super intelligence we could use if we lessened our dependence on the opinions of others and delved into our own common sense department within our intelligence bank.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Limit of Tolerance

 We hear people often admitting that they have reached their limit of tolerance! They speak of creating boundaries. And if you scratch people deep down, it is really with a sense of regret that they create these boundaries to protect themselves actually. There is a lot of emotional wear and tear and that is the reason.

Sad when you think of how different things can be and how much easier life would be if each one understood the simple concept of a two-way relationship! No, this is not based on calculation but a genuine sense of caring.

It is energy exchange. That’s all. It is not superficial. The enduring exchanges come from the heart. The moment there is a motive, there is going to be some element of pollution which is likely to cause friction and conflict.

I guess I have seen so much of respect and love growing up that it seems to me to be the only way to function in life. We just need to revert to some earlier ways of life which were happy and warm.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Self-Destructive

People find it easier to live amidst past memories. Strange because it is like a pool of a lot of stagnant water of a lot of negative emotions, hurts and anger, all of which are self-consuming and self-destructive.

Why? It is a known territory even if people have to relive suffering! More so when there are negative emotions attached to those memories which smoulder within. How does one forget?

Letting go is difficult also because what is yet to come is unknown. And there is fear of the unknown.

We have a tendency to hold on to crutches which are obviously temporary. When WE are temporary in this world, how can we think anything can be permanent?

A journey is like a flow of events which we must experience as observers only. That is the best training we can give ourselves. The universe is working systematically and with a beautiful flow. We don’t even notice. We only lament about ourselves and what we got/ did not get, deserved/ did not deserve and most importantly, WHY others got more than we did.

If this is our thought process, we deserve then, to suffer.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Depression

 

The most debilitating and even dangerous thought is “Oh, what’s the use?” When we go through a lot and try and mend things … but that doesn’t happen, that final resignation is the worst. We can sink with this one thought.

The resulting depression can be the beginning of a gradual decline in health, first emotional and then, invariably physical.

“There is always a way out “is the way to go. If not this, something else good is round the corner! “Seek and we shall find” is a very prophetic and profound statement. Losing heart is not and should not be an option at all.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

 

Emotion

 

Warm Hearts for cold storage!

Very late in the day have I discovered the reasons why people prefer to be superficial and sweet tongued. While outlooks have been changing rapidly and hearts are not being understood anymore, it would be fatal for relationships to be looked at naively or taken for granted!

No words that express the feelings in your heart are worth expressing actually. You know the saying, what you say (with feeling) and what the others understand don’t match. While you are saying something, with underlying feelings, it is being understood in a completely different manner, often, creating distances which were never meant to be. Keep the heart for yourself and “art” for the world.

You have just got to develop the art of saying what people want to hear. Period. It does not matter if you are family, growing up together, or friends/acquaintances. You must know how to use your words clinically so that they cannot be remotely misunderstood! Even as I say this, is that even possible?

We seldom succeed in connecting emotionally. It is mostly about “me” and “I”. And of course, about keeping in touch with people as per our needs. Very few exceptions can be seen.

It boils down to being simple but clever in the ways of the world. Managing/ manipulating or whatever works! But no expectations on anyone really understanding you.

So, better know yourself to see how words affect you and admit that you can also feel the in pact of words, not to mention tone of voice!

Even the voiceless WhatsApp can be lethal because there are only words there! We could be missing someone and saying this may boomerang badly! It may be seen as pushing someone who cannot see the love inherent in the missing. So, you see, sometimes, there is no winning here!

People withdrawing from people for such reasons is rampant! Who has the time today, to listen to heartbeats?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

 

Connectivity

 If you feel connected, you will be inclusive and share spontaneously. Or otherwise, if you are alienated from yourself, then you may not feel connected to others either at all or only selectively. Just as our physical system is integrated, so does our mental and emotional system need to be interconnected.

Contrary to our estimation, connectivity adds to our energy levels , like the electricity wires connected to the switch which, when pressed, beings light into the room.

There is no merit in being exclusive and wanting to feel superior. It is a complex, nothing more. Reality is very different. Our minds need to be free from all blocks of negativity towards ourselves and others. Once that happens, you get back all your energy which you have given away to others and this way, given them control over you.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Quote of the day

Dharma by Design

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State of Mind

In the Indian discipline, fasting has many benefits. Many religions also advocate it as a cleanser of toxins. The benefits, however, are many if fasting extends in thought, word and deed.

Therefore, "mouna” or silence is very important. Silencing your thoughts, your speech and abstaining from toxic foods purifies the system. It purifies thoughts, exercises some measure of control over speech automatically and puts you in a placid and calm state of mind.

Children in schools should be initiated most definitely. A daily exercise of silence or chanting for a few minutes to start the day with can make a sizeable difference to those who are hyperactive. The younger generations of parents are incorporating this technique on a daily basis with positive results.

It really would be ideal to introduce parts of the earlier "Gurukul" system of holistic education to make the future generations ethically, morally, mentally, emotionally and physically strong and balanced.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Quote of the day

Quote of the day