The Bible is a wonderful text and conforms in many ways to
the way of life that other religions also advocate. Forgiveness is the most
cleansing experience for those who may practice it genuinely and with utmost
sincerity. It is also the most difficult.
As long as there are human beings with the power of freedom
of choice, there will always be a need for forgiveness. Why do I say this? I
say this because every person constantly acts, reacts or responds to
circumstances and to the people involved in those circumstances with the power
of free will. Free will indicates choices made out of the feelings and
intentions of that moment, which determine the final outcome of these
incidents. There may be times when, between people, an innocent remark or action
may inspire a very vehement and unpleasant reaction. Conversely, sometimes, a
deliberate action may be taken intentionally, to hurt someone either in
retaliation of out of a sense of hatred or prejudice.
Small incidents surrounded by negative reactions can have a
huge build up over a period of time. Deliberate negative actions harm not only
the doer but the receiver also, although it weighs heavier in the karmic book
of the doer. There is no remission from karmic repercussions, except through genuine
repentance and forgiveness.
The question then is, what about actions done unwittingly
and out of ignorance? Do they need to be forgiven, too? I would imagine that
the answer would be a “yes”, because there are lessons of awareness to be
learnt here. We must necessarily elevate ourselves to higher levels of awareness
of thought, word and action when it concerns others around us. Pure intentions
are very difficult to conjure up when there is pollution of thought about a
person, whereas, it is the purity of intention that makes an action positive. Therefore,
first, we must question ourselves about our intentions and drop any action
inspired by any negative emotion such as anger, hurt, envy etc. This is the
first step to start building our awareness levels.
We have all experienced that, often, we do things innocently
and unintentionally to find ourselves overwhelmed by completely unexpected
reactions from the opposite person. The most important issue here is, do we
register the recognition of the hurt we have caused unintentionally? If so,
then forgiveness definitely becomes a necessity. All the blocks of energy
within us and others need to be cleansed immediately to prevent a buildup of
meaningless and unhealthy baggage.
Accidents are apt examples of unintentional but harmful
action. Here is a story taken from the Internet.
In 2011, Patricia Machin lost her husband when he set out to
buy the morning paper. Gerrard Machin was doing what he always did, but this
time would not return home. Patricia sensed something was wrong and went to look for him. She was greeted by the
sight of an ambulance and blood on the ground. Her husband had been struck down
by a driver.
The driver Brian Williamson, was extremely distressed over
having hit Gerrard Machin. Patricia Machin, though, felt no anger toward the
driver. She knew that the horrible accident had not been intentional, and she
harbored no ill will toward Williamson. The sincerity of her forgiveness shone
through in a letter she wrote to Williamson that was to be used in his defense.
In that letter she wrote, “However bad it was for me, I realize it was 1,000
times worse for you.”
Forgiveness is the most beautiful cleansing experience,
especially when it is done from both sides. It is recognition of a mistake made
and also of the fact that it must be forgiven.
Many would not agree because , either they are aggressive in their low
self esteem, or their past baggage sits too heavily on them and their wounds and
scars run very deep. Breach of trust, betrayals, attempts to ruin careers, an
unnatural death of loved ones is unforgivable where the immediate demand is for
justice. In such cases, even a suggestion to forgive brings forth a very
intense and adverse reaction. This is completely understandable on one level.
However, on the soul level, lessons for forgiveness often
come cloaked in apparent tragedies like the story I have mentioned here. It is
very hard to rise above the attachment for our loved ones to show compassion to
someone who has been instrumental in harming our loved ones. It is very
difficult to perceive these episodes as the work of destiny. Yet, that is the
only plausible, though unpalatable explanation.
I do believe that forgiveness is not complete unless it is
done to oneself and received from others we may have harmed. The exercise of
daily cleansing and forgiving oneself and others would be wonderful in ensuring
mental health and consequently, in destroying the very desire for intentionally
hurting anyone. We always look for brownie points from the people around us. I
recommend that we start experiencing them in the good that happens to us. The
reward comes from the Divine, not necessarily from the people we expect it to
come from.
Surekha Kothari
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