Very often, we seem to have little or no
control over our thoughts. They keep coming almost like a cyclone and shake up
the very core of an individual. Very few have the awareness and capacity to
stop them when required, observe them and change them if and when necessary.
Sometimes, out of nowhere, some thoughts
connected with old wounds surface suddenly. And then we understand that the
healing is still pending. We will not get over these thoughts unless we heal
them. Through understanding, love and forgiveness. What damages healing is also
the intensity of negative feelings. The more intense, the less the ability to
let go and more the pain and resentment.
Often, we are also so helpless with
thoughts coming in. We actually believe that thoughts just come in. But from where?
And do we have the power to regulate them or not? Do we KNOW we create them AND
have the power to let them go, bring them in, transform the negative ones at
will and by choosing the direction we want them to take? Perhaps not.
People say they tried but no resolution was
found. Again, let us ask "why". Because we insist on playing and
replaying the same old "hurt" tape in our mind.
Again and again and again. We want a salutary
action, a re conciliatory action from the person who has hurt us. Right? We are
unwilling to let go till this is done.
We don't realize that WE can sort this out
ourselves. Why do we need the crutch or a dependency to feel better? Or even to
forgive and forget? Come on! Resolve the hurt yourself. Because you CHOSE to
get hurt. Right? So, why expect someone else to solve YOUR issue, created by
YOU?
We need to get out of the mode of
"approval seeking" and emotional dependence. We want to belong
somewhere, lean on someone because we don't know how to live with people AND be
independent. We keep loaning or giving away our precious energy to them.
The help we expect from others can be
easily done through self counseling because at the end of the day, it is OUR
ego that initiates the hurt. So, with counseling the ego, it is possible to
heal it and even smile at what we realize now, was utter foolishness on our
part.
Simple, my dear Watson! How can anyone hurt
me if I don't WANT to get hurt?
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
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