We generally live in a hypocritical
society. In families too, there are different behavioral patterns demanded of
different people. No one yardstick. I have heard this line ad nauseum since
childhood." You do the right thing. Never mind what others do". Really!
It sounds like a wonderful line but can be a terrible line as well.
What is expected behavior from an elder
child of the family or an imported family member like a daughter in law is
different from that of the younger people. Much leeway is given to the latter. Why?
I have never understood this. What is good for one should be taught to or
expected from the others too.
Over a period of time then, what happens is
that responsibility falls only on the person doing the "right" thing
, willingly or out of force and expected. And the others are super quick in
taking the advantage. I have often said that injustice done over and over again
to the "right" doer will reach a crescendo one day and that day,
there is a possibility of a volcano eruption. All the rules will get destroyed
in the lava of bottled up anger.
I would not advocate this system itself, because
the ultimate results are drastic and painful. Indian parents are famous for
installing this system and igniting many issues. Different rules for girls and
boys, different rules for the daughters and daughters in law, different rules
for the older and younger. And so on.
So many reactions due to so much
suppression of the spirit bordering on injustice among family members. And then
they cry about families breaking up! You dare not speak up even if someone is
being the cause of division of the family. "Do the right thing". KEEP
QUIET and LET IT BE. Wow! What a destructive mantra, right? You only have to
see the results to know this.
Frankness and straightforwardness should
pay if we are not complicated and do things in the right spirit, with the right
intentions and good will and without silly rules that divide more than unite
people.
And I do feel injustice MUST be expressed
to stop the tyranny of the perpetrators. The popular theory of mother in law
and daughter in law , warring family members, the tendencies of usurpation of
finance and power etc. are already spelling a death knell for families and in
turn, societies. The tragedy is: no one cares anymore and no one stops to
think. And I think all this has happened because individuals have not been
given their due, their freedom of spirit and equal respect to be they and
interact with others on their own steam.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
No comments:
Post a Comment