Sunday 29 April 2018

Natural consequences


Bringing up children to be wholesome individuals within the current context of complications, confusion, complexes and all sorts of mental corruption is a huge challenge. Many couples who think that having children is step 2 after marriage may please the family members around them but they themselves may not be ready as in mature enough, to become parents. To be responsible adults also means being brought up well by YOUR parents because you will only pass on to the kids what you know or the way you are.
Naturally then, the children will generally imbibe your teachings. If you look around at families, gone are the bonding families where sets of parents and cousins are closely attached to each other. Sadly, the children of siblings who develop distances due to small and insignificant issues invariably influence their children to maintain those distances, a huge part of their insecurities.
The other things that happen are natural consequences of adult behavior. The kids begin to tell the parents what they want to hear. Whenever unity is not prevalent, kids tend to take advantage by talking against the people their parents don't like. And the parents seem to endorse this because of wanting control over their kids. So, wrong becomes right. And the complexes of adult issues percolate to their children.
Growing up, these kids prefer friends to family and thus, families get more and more divided. And the odd people who can cement the frayed relationships are themselves victims of these myopic attitudes.
I can understand that everyone is human. But if the basic family love is maintained, all else can be forgiven and forgotten and kids can grow up healthy and respectful. Many a time, it takes just one complexes person in the family to begin its end. And that person is usually in denial of being the initiator,  small tear in a beautiful fabric which, if not darned immediately, tends to become bigger and bigger.
And after a point, the fabric must be discarded because you can't even darn it anymore. Many families have been torn apart and today what we call insular family units are units without limbs and heart. Collections of units joined together forms unity. And in the absence of unity, only units function in society today.
Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com


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