Bringing up children to be wholesome
individuals within the current context of complications, confusion, complexes
and all sorts of mental corruption is a huge challenge. Many couples who think
that having children is step 2 after marriage may please the family members
around them but they themselves may not be ready as in mature enough, to become
parents. To be responsible adults also means being brought up well by YOUR
parents because you will only pass on to the kids what you know or the way you
are.
Naturally then, the children will generally
imbibe your teachings. If you look around at families, gone are the bonding
families where sets of parents and cousins are closely attached to each other. Sadly,
the children of siblings who develop distances due to small and insignificant
issues invariably influence their children to maintain those distances, a huge
part of their insecurities.
The other things that happen are natural
consequences of adult behavior. The kids begin to tell the parents what they
want to hear. Whenever unity is not prevalent, kids tend to take advantage by
talking against the people their parents don't like. And the parents seem to
endorse this because of wanting control over their kids. So, wrong becomes
right. And the complexes of adult issues percolate to their children.
Growing up, these kids prefer friends to
family and thus, families get more and more divided. And the odd people who can
cement the frayed relationships are themselves victims of these myopic
attitudes.
I can understand that everyone is human.
But if the basic family love is maintained, all else can be forgiven and
forgotten and kids can grow up healthy and respectful. Many a time, it takes
just one complexes person in the family to begin its end. And that person is
usually in denial of being the initiator, small tear in a beautiful fabric which, if not
darned immediately, tends to become bigger and bigger.
And after a point, the fabric must be discarded
because you can't even darn it anymore. Many families have been torn apart and
today what we call insular family units are units without limbs and heart. Collections
of units joined together forms unity. And in the absence of unity, only units
function in society today.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
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