Self-Sacrifice

 Suppressing authentic needs is a huge hole within our wholesomeness. Traditionally, we have been taught that goodness means self-sacrifice, living for others, suppressing our needs to accommodate those of others around us and forgiving everyone who hurt you whether they repent or not. In short, we have made excellent arrangements for our own depletion of energy and destruction of our self-image.

Kindness, in this connection, is NOT what I just described. Everything begins with the self and then extends outwards. It is that part of goodness which ought to start with kindness to the self-first. If your inner self is under the agony of suppression, denial and conflict, how do you even BEGIN to get enough energy to be what society selfishly demands from you?

That inner self, your suffering shadow self of which even you are in partial denial, must be brought into your conscious awareness so that you can heal it and integrate it with your true self. Only then can you become wholesome. And then you can extend yourself outwards and help others find themselves.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Responsible

 It doesn’t matter how many lives you have lived. Live this one to the best of your ability. Life can be perceived in so many ways! And created in so many ways. We are the creators, never doubt this!

Do you notice how we have an innate ability to change, cloak, mask our emotions in a second? As also the ability to move on from any situation, unless we don’t WANT to!

Have you noticed how in a second, we can become our own friends like no one can, and the next second, our own worst enemy?

How can all this be real if we don’t control our own lives?

And even when our lives are NOT within our control, WE are responsible for this condition as well.

Friends, every finger points only at each of us. We learn, write our own exams, do well or not and face all consequences of our actions.

The moving finger writes… and having writ, moves on! (or not). WE are responsible.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Self-Respect

 It is rather sad to see people attacking someone’s self-respect repeatedly. Even a strong person can find it very cumbersome and meaningless in the long run.

The “pleasure” so felt is not so pleasurable in the long run because you have just ignited a spark of negativity for yourself. It can carry on if both participate. It can also be watered down with a lack of response from the innocent side.

The way we hold on to our complexes, can only be a longer journey of healing for us. Yet, one sees it all around! And it becomes exhausting at some point.

To heal oneself becomes very difficult if we continue to be affected by others. Therapists, mood elevators, anti-depressants and timidity are not the healing I mean but these are a reality more than self-work. Self-work starts only when blame recedes.

Sure, when people in your life abuse, ridicule, reject, marginalize, these are bitter pills for most.

One has a to find a way out for oneself for that little piece of peace which is not available anywhere but within us. And often we have to slap ourselves to fix back our head straight. Life!!! Keep going!!

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Evident

 Being able to join the karmic dots and understanding patterns as hindsight is often very painful. We see conflicting relationships compounding under egos and increasing distances over a long period of time, coming to a head at the end of our lives. We have evidently not understood and corrected ourselves while there was time.

Life is not a party! The remorse and guilt that overpowers you for ill-treating your people while YOUR going was good, you will realize over time, was a completely misplaced sense of what life was all about.

I have seen people leaving this world with so much remorse and I have seen those left behind living lifelong under the weight of what they COULD have done differently but will never get a chance to anymore towards the person who has gone.

WHY? What is not to understand and not to get on? Why do we judge instead of love? Why do we distance instead of understand and respect everyone’s life journeys, especially their challenges??? Especially when we know WE expect this from others? So much can be salvaged if we learn and change with this one thought.

Can we perhaps slow down, reflect and correct ourselves while there is time???

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Circumstances

 There are many moments in the lives of human beings when there is so much pain it becomes a herculean task to even bear it, let alone find the courage to overcome it. And not always is there a reward at the end of the pain, like when a new mother forgets all the pain when she sees her little baby.

This pain is in return for the pain we may have caused someone in some life. Or we might be facing some circumstances which might be painful, and which just came upon us. But this is not an unsalvageable guillotine.

That’s life. You learn to cherish good times and be patient in adverse times, with an indomitable faith that times will change. Just one thing! Be sure to learn what lessons this adverse time is there to teach. Salvaging those parts of your affected life with wisdom and patience is the only way out to let the pain recede.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Transformation

There is no value in relationships where little things are constantly misunderstood and have to be sorted regularly.

It needs one experience of watching someone leave this earth, of the grief and remorse, even guilt felt by those around for what could have been , to wonder why we don’t treat relationships better in our lifetime.

There are a few landmark experiences in life which are utterly transformative. Make you accept and deal with life with more awareness and more grit. Above all, with more balance and respect for your soul.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari