I am constantly amazed at myself and the complete metamorphosis within myself. During my growing up years and much after, until a few years ago, I was such a romantic, such a sentimental person! Addicted to watching four movies a day during my holidays, I became an effective story teller to my cousins who would sit with rapt attention at my emotive narrations, with every expression and every nuance of the dialogue delivery by every actor imitated to perfection! After I was done with the romance, laughter, tears and anger of the film characters, my cousins felt they didn’t need to see the film at all! Today, I recognize that time in my life as a phase. It is difficult for me to sit through one movie today.
If I may use a generalization, youngsters go through pangs of love, separation, fulfillment, “stars in the eyes” phase, reading poetry moony- eyed and all of that and more. The rose colored spectacles stay on longer for some than others.
However, as we progress from this phase to the next, we should increase our vision to become more inclusive of other people, their trials and tribulations, their miseries and tragedies, and then, romantic notions will probably seem inadequate in terms of wholesome growth. There is a great sense of satisfaction and joy in reaching out beyond ourselves and an equally great sense of exhaustion and lack of purpose in living just for ourselves.
There is profound truth in the line from Urdu poetry, “aur bhi gham hain zamane mein mohabbat ke siva”, meaning that there are more tragedies in this world than romantic love”. It indicates that focusing on just this one aspect is being spiritually myopic and by inference, there are other forms of love that need activation, such as compassion and empathy.
Changes, both in thoughts and perspectives are inevitable and can be very meaningful if we can change our priorities and adapt to these changes successfully. It is called “moving with the times”. It is incredible then, that while some can see others changing, others are unable to see the change within themselves. Any shift in equation is upsetting for such people because either they haven’t learnt to move on or they are unable to handle their comfort levels being disturbed by the changes around them.
Moving forward also means “letting go” of past events while learning the lessons from it. So, logically speaking, those who “let go” are able to move forward faster and respond and adapt to change better.
None of us is today what we were yesterday and will not be tomorrow what we are today. Change is a subtle process that creeps up on us unless we see it happening with a microscopic sense of self awareness. The whole process of personal growth relies on a gradual build up of this very awareness which enables us to watch the process of change and make intelligent choices about the kind of change to accept or deny. The pre condition is that we need the wisdom of discernment to encounter change with a strainer in one hand and a balance in the other: to accept growth – oriented change and balance it with the existent principles, traditions and values we cherish.
Surekha Kothari
Blog: surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: http://www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
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