“The heart has its own language. The heart knows a hundred thousand ways to speak.”
― Rumi
― Rumi
Human beings are extremely speech sensitive. “Words can kill” is a common saying indicating the power of speech. We are all guilty of losing control over our speech many a time, venting our anger and frustrations at unfulfilled expectations from ourselves, people and events in our lives. The spoken word is an acid test of the awareness and wisdom of an individual. Some of us tend to take speech for granted and often succumb to verbal diarrhea without actually understanding its importance. Many a relationship has been marred by speech. And many a potential success has been converted to failure merely by the spoken word.
Anyone with a destructive ego has a tendency to speak a lot with the intention of seeking attention. But it is said that the speech of wise and compassionate people rests in their heart. Such people only speak out of genuine concern, inspired a pure heart and only for the general good. This quality of speech is deeply effective.
There is so much turmoil in the human brain today and so much lack of trust that people believe that if they speak softly and without vehemence and force, they will be perceived to be weak. So, they may speak even the most hurtful lie with a confident tone and a strong body language. The general belief is that if we want to get work done by another, we need to shout. This mentality probably indicates that we have learnt to tune out people’s voices because there are so many voices screaming inside us; voices of ambition, greed, hurt and deep scars, anger, frustration and many more. Not only this, we also believe that those who speak sweetly want something from us. It is sad that even genuinely nice people get tagged wrongly.
Why speech is so wrongly perceived? There has to be something we need to change within ourselves, starting from a deep analysis of ourselves and our intentions. Apart from this, we also need to know the science behind speech.
There are FOUR stages to speech.
1) Para ( in the Solar Plexus)
2) Madhyama ( in the Heart)
3) Pashyanti ( in the throat)
4) Vaikhari ( the spoken word )
PARA
The origin of the spoken word is a thought. When we are born, all the unassimilated experiences travel with us. The solar plexus (above the navel) is the seat of all karma and desire. Naturally, then, thought is triggered by a desire and the internal dialogue of thoughts is the first stage of speech, the “Para Vani”. Of prime importance here is the quality of thought which ultimately manifests as the spoken word. If the thought is a negative one, the speech will be negative and the result will also be a negative one for the self and others around us.
MADHYAMA
In the second stage, the thought encounters love, compassion and empathy in the Heart Chakra. If, at the “Para” stage, the thought is already colored by hatred, prejudice, anger and similar damaging thoughts, the choice of love and compassion at the “Madhyama” level may not be easy.
PASHYANTI
“Pashyanti” meaning “to observe” is the final stage before the spoken word. If we can activate our clinical mind to assess the choice we have made, there is a chance to change the negative into positive at the “Vishuddhi” or Throat Chakra. Very often, we feel a hesitation in the throat before we speak. This is because we are not sure if we have made the right choice of the sentiment and feelings which will dictate our speech, or, whether we should speak at all in that moment.
VAIKHARI
Once we have battled with our thoughts and decision to speak, what to speak or not to speak, “Vaikhari” is the final manifestation of our thoughts and feelings in the form of what we actually say. The foundation always determines everything. So, a thought is the foundation on which we build our case for speech.
There is a saying, “I am responsible for what I say, but I am not responsible for how you choose to understand it”. At face value, this could be correct. However, only we know with what intention and intensity of feeling we have spoken. So, we cannot truthfully use this argument when there has been an intention to hurt someone.
The whole process of thought passing through the three stages and manifesting in words is faster than the nano second. Unless we work with micro awareness, we will not be able to change our reactions into responses. The tendency of humans is to react and retaliate rather than exercise mature control over speech.
The more excess baggage we carry from past lives and pile up during the current lifetime, the more we will react impulsively in thought, word and deed. If we learn to open our door to let in pure thoughts, we will be able to use refined and healing words, and in doing so, will heal ourselves, too. I cannot think of a more salutary experience.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
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