This title of the famous book by Thomas A. Harris has always impressed me in the implications inherent in the title. It has a wealth of meaning. Really, if we can be “ok”, everything around us will be “ok”. I have noticed that whenever I am disturbed, I am restless and this restlessness communicates itself to those around me through my expressions, my altered behavior and the slipping mask I put on for the world. Since negativity attracts negativity, not only do I attract inquiring stares but also wariness and even a distancing from people. That, in turn, makes me more miserable. And so it goes on until I break the cycle with introspection and correction of my negative mindset and the reasons the mindset was formed. This requires a huge amount of digging of skeletons within and is not easy.
The “awareness” stage does dawn a shade more easily than the “acceptance” stage. I definitely may have a problem but am I willing to accept that I have one? After all, it is so much more comfortable to live in denial and pretend everything is normal. How, then, would it be possible to even look for a solution?
See how we become our own enemies? All our lives, we search for the wisdom that is in our backyard, as it were. We just don’t want to visit it because it is an effort to clean it up. Window dressing is much easier than cleaning up the mess behind the window, a detrimental attitude.
The crux of the problem lies in the externalization of the mind and its involvement in the daily actions and reactions which occupy much of the space in the mind and time during the day. So, if at all, we have a fixed time in minutes and occasionally, a few hours to perform rituals and even less to seek spiritual knowledge through reading, imbibing and practicing spiritual laws.
Is it necessary to be everywhere socially when your own house may be “on fire”, so to speak? Is it so important to be recognized and be in the Newspapers and on the Television Screen at the cost of the self being gradually demolished? Is endorsement from people more important than self endorsement? All these questions are vital to the happiness quotient which is sorely missing today in the rat race for more name, more fame and more money.
I say this with conviction that if the responsibility of the soul plan is taken on by each individual, it has the power to transform the individual and the surrounding environment. The one factor that needs to be maneuvered with wisdom and understanding is our ego, the root of all attachments , prejudices, wrong thinking patterns , colored behavior and all the outcomes thereof. Coupled with these is the ignorance of who we are and with what purpose we have come into this world.
Spiritual texts have averred that enlightenment is a constant removal of the many layers of ignorance that we live with. There is much unlearning, learning and re learning to be done. Above all the belief systems propagated by different religions, there is common fiber running through all Creation that connects or should connect all Creation. That common link is the Divine Energy which we must recognize and which should then be able to result in celebrating the unity in diversity. Just this thought that we are all connected should work as a good starting point for tolerance and wise action.
As I tell all my clients, if we can actually muster up our humility and introspective abilities, and hone our behavioral patterns based on the new learning, the change will be felt within and through the response of people around. But to become “gold”, one will have to go through the “fire” of life with increasing self knowledge and its implementation.
Surekha Kothari
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