Expectation and Attachment

 The irony in relationships is that when you start seeing the truth, often, you cannot state it to people openly.  It is not for nothing that silence has been recommended as the deepest form of wisdom.

It is amusing to see people being nice and even caring on your face but their actions and energy speak differently. And you can understand the duality in their nature.

It is a tough call when such a person is close to you. These are tests of learning to live without expectation and attachment. Because both end up upsetting you and deplete your energy.

There is definitely an amount of hurt which is unquantifiable. Hopefully, when you understand that it is not YOU, that each one has their own learning and timing of those lessons, that hurt will be mitigated.

Sometimes, you even wonder why they do this! It is so much easier to be simple and act as such. But yes! Easier said than done. And it takes work and more work to detach from the behavior of others, especially when it is devious towards you AND you are AWARE it is so.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Intelligence

 The onus of your life is totally yours. It is your choice all the way. What you do and even what you abstain from doing.

Your thought processes, your way of dealing with people and situations, your decisions to involve or withdraw, to tolerate or not, to compromise or not. 

Life is like a game of tennis. The ball keeps coming at you and you have to take quick action about whether a forehand is required or a back hand, and how to strategize to win points. And how to get really good with ace serves.

Similarly, life is a game of courage, intelligence and the ability to learn and move on, not lose your energy over what could have been. And life gives you chance after chance to learn, throwing repeated lessons at you until you learn from them.

You will notice that many a time, there will be someone out to get you , bait you , and you keep reacting with irritation. But the thumb rule is that as soon as you become immune to it, they lose their hold on you. It is an energy hold and you have given your power away. As is the case with anything that succeeds in controlling / overpowering you.

The awareness you need each minute is to conserve your energy, stay within your space and use your intellect with wisdom. Emotions too, IF you are able to use them intelligently. But, keep your aura intact. At all times.

Surekha Kothari

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www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Counselling

 

Personal Desires

 Who doesn’t want to be happy? But the definitions of happiness are many. And many of those are linked with personal desires for some kind of gain. None of such paths lead to happiness in the long run and short term feelings of happiness can turn into a lot of disappointment.

It is amazing that we fail to grasp the subtleties of a happy state of mind because ironically, at some point, all of us HAVE been in that space, when tears of happiness flow, when a simple hug from a child made us feel complete. And so many more precious moments that we choose to forget in our chase for something “better”.

As is a popular saying, stop chasing the butterfly. Just stand still and the butterfly will come and perch on your shoulder. Give happiness a chance! In silence and non-attachment, it can come out of nowhere! A state of mind that we will not want to let go of because it is so beautiful!

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Acceptability

 I am fascinated by the way people describe themselves vis a vis the way people look at them.

I think I am a realist but people think I am an idealist. I think am rational for the most part but people see me as irrational in many ways.

I think I am caring as a person but people brand me as indifferent, callous even.

You know what I am getting at, right? This is not only me but everyone I am speaking of.

How you see yourself and how people see you are two different angles.

How do you arrive at a consensus then, so that you create a win situation? That you are seen as somewhat congenial or antiseptic to grow into a community or take a path of “I really know who i am and I don’t need people to slot me”.

Most of us have tried to become the alchemist to blend our values into an acceptable whole for the sake of sheer acceptability. After all, we do live amongst people, all kinds of people with different perceptions, different sizes of baggage and different energies.

And yet, this is not easy! You will always end up upsetting some balance one way or another. 

Practically speaking therefore, you can only do what is within your power: have good intentions, be unaffected by other energies and carry on with life, knowing that the only controls you can exercise over are on yourself. And wisdom is the key. 

As for the rest … c’est la vie!

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Journeys and Challenges

When you live by your conscience and what is right, indeed, it is god’s grace that you have reached that state. Conversely, living in a world of conflicting perspectives, fragile egos and frequent misunderstandings, simple truths can ostracize you in a big way.

Humans don’t understand the value of personal Journeys and challenges, the need to stabilize your energies even if it means letting go of your personal preferences of relationships, thoughts and misguided values.

It demands courage! But it becomes easier if you understand that there is a price to pay for everything in this world but, anyways, pay all the price BUT except for your own soul. Nothing warrants that.

Understand that the journey of your soul cannot be shared by anyone. You are the master. Your soul is divine. Your higher self is always supported by Divine Light.

So, let go of your lower self that is trapped in this world and immersed in the afflictions of the mind. Observe, detach from outcomes and always do the right thing to feed your soul with enlightened nourishment. Live and act out of pure intentions. Selfishness misaligns you with the universe.

THINK, REFLECT as a daily practice. And make inner changes with those reflective realizations. See yourself getting free while still in this world, where nothing will affect you.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Traits

It amazes me! Should anyone apologize for being different? Should anyone be ostracized or be criticized for being one’s own person and not necessarily doing what others around you want to do or enjoy doing?

For exactly these reasons, many are seeking solitude. And falling out of relationships. Even the recreation activities with friends CAN lead to stress. It is so important to be liked for who you are. Group dynamism necessitates acceptance first.

A while back, a forward was sent in the chat group I belong to. It had some normal chickens and only one that had a twisted foot and looked a little different. And the caption was malicious, indicating one person in the group who stands tall and does not practice being a people pleaser.

These are very negative perceptions. A group that is homogenous is also a pretty diverse one but one where there is mutual respect for each other. The moment even one of the group goes into a complex which manifests outside, the balance stands broken. And there will be ramifications for sure.

At the end of the day, no one can be like anyone else but we can, each one of us, learn to appreciate others for what they have done with their lives and for the mutual caring which transcends any individualistic traits that are so inevitable, it would be silly to grudge each other those traits. Because they are unique to each individual. And we are not and cannot be clones of each other.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari