Patience

“Patience is a virtue”. This is not an idle but a very deep statement. But you have to experience this. You have to BE patient when things are not in your favor, both circumstances and people.

At times, your journey WILL collide with that of others, like two trains. Only, the clash of these two trains is symbolic of the clash of two egos.

Often, the matter simmers for days together. That is the time to withdraw, be patient and let the muddy water settle down. Of course, in such cases, any of the two could happen: back in the flow with the other or walking away. It may take a long time, or not!

As you wait with patience, something keeps shifting within and a level is reached where decision making becomes easy. And that decision feels right and extremely liberating.

It is worth experiencing this!

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Limit of Tolerance

 We hear people often admitting that they have reached their limit of tolerance! They speak of creating boundaries. And if you scratch people deep down, it is really with a sense of regret that they create these boundaries to protect themselves actually. There is a lot of emotional wear and tear and that is the reason.

Sad when you think of how different things can be and how much easier life would be if each one understood the simple concept of a two-way relationship! No, this is not based on calculation but a genuine sense of caring.

It is energy exchange. That’s all. It is not superficial. The enduring exchanges come from the heart. The moment there is a motive, there is going to be some element of pollution which is likely to cause friction and conflict.

I guess I have seen so much of respect and love growing up that it seems to me to be the only way to function in life. We just need to revert to some earlier ways of life which were happy and warm.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Truth

I saw a video that set me thinking and analyzing its truth! The caption was “no one is really a friend”. Hmmm.

Actually, right from childhood and our school days, we make friends. We even depend on them not only for company but for our happy moments spent with them. But the basic reality is that we must accept AND celebrate our dissimilarities and similarities if we want long term connections.

I find relationships like reading new books every day. We get absorbed in them. But if we see a change in the friends we have, we get disoriented. Which means that there are conditional acceptances.

It is the human ego which is at the root of karma. It is the feeling of incompleteness and wanting more to fill that perpetual void within us!

If you have noticed, no ONE person can fulfil all our needs. That is why we HAVE so many relationships, each fulfilling some need.

Ultimately, if truth be told, we ARE alone. We may look for crutches here and there, most of which are temporary. We appear seemingly together, like passengers on a train, but only till our station arrives.

This is not a unique thought but an oft repeated one. However, it does not sink into many minds and they still carry on, living out of the flow of life and suffering for it.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Pretension

There are huge training centers for image building.  Body language, tone of voice, facial expressions etc. Your real selves are seen as flawed.

We learnt how to behave when we were growing up. But unfortunately, we were also taught to keep “real”. What you see is what you get. This motto was our pride actually. We hated pretensions of any kind. It was too much stress!

Now? You better forget all that and build an acceptable image for the outside world. Don’t try to be yourself. You may end up being at the periphery of all the communities that “matter”.

Because the society is afraid of the genuine, the truthful and can only accept you with your cultivated persona! This is “sophistication”, folks!

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Sacrifices

This thought is very prevalent among the seniors today, that they have been under the control of their elders earlier and now, under their children. Yes, the plight of seniors, many of them, is of concern. This brings me back again to a fundamental question I ask again and again. About duties and responsibilities in a family.

Many youngsters have become successful on the shoulders of their parents who made personal sacrifices so that the children could prosper in life. Are the youngsters grateful? Do they understand that there has been a price paid for those sacrifices? And do they feel the love for their elders enough to reciprocate that love and caring? 

I can say with certainty that family is a great bond of shared love and support, PROVIDED there is always the element of mutual respect and freedom to grow. Discipline, sure! Unnecessary Controls, NO! Entitlement, NEVER! Individual wholesomeness is badly needed to establish a journey of a balance of give and take and of virtuous living, correcting flaws along the way. All of us have them.

When we see sterling qualities in anyone, observe and learn, especially if you have struggled earlier. Blaming parents, teachers, friends are never going to get us anywhere. It is a new day every day. Treat it as such and begin a new life every day, leaving past grievances where they belong! In the past!

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Relationships

 This forward that someone sent me is an eye opener for those who make temporary friendships and then suddenly start to ignore them. They break the trust that has developed. Evidently, vested interests dictate this shunning when the friendship is not “convenient” anymore. But if there is grace in you, you will tie up the loose ends before leaving, yes, with a hug and a smile. It seems really opportunistic and rude to leave a friendship in the lurch, no explanations given. And it definitely speaks volumes about the character of such people. If you never meant to be loyal, you should not have entered into such relationships. Not every human being is so thick skinned as to feel nothing!

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Parameters

When someone gives of themselves in genuine friendship, it is to be honored, not taken for granted. Yes, friendship is an honorable relationship filled with mutual respect and love.

And there are certain parameters!

Not to treat generosity as a weakness but cherish such friends.

Not to abuse the trust placed in you as a friend

To be there for a friend in need

To be frank and truthful, even if it hurts. Because amongst friends it is not supposed to hurt but be appreciated.

To be loyal at all times

To Refrain from talking behind the back.

Friendship is like a beacon of light. It should be able to spark off more light.

Friendship cannot be claimed only with daily forwards and chat messages. It takes a lot of courage to be a true friend. It is nothing short of a spiritual connect between two people.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari