THE ALL TIME CLEANSERS

The market is flooded with all kinds of cleansers with different aromas. Shoppers can have a field day trying out new ones every day if they so wish. How good we feel when we feel fresh after using a fragrant lavender or a jasmine gel or soap! You would imagine that this “feel good” factor would sustain through the day. But, this may not be true at all. The moment we transfer our body consciousness into our mental and emotional consciousness, these cleansers lose their fragrance.

The most effective cleansers for every human being are in the form of mind cleansers. The mind is really at the core of all pollution, aided by the ego.  When the mind becomes tarnished by low self worth, it goes into comparisons, depressions, self rejection perceived as “other” rejection, snowballing into defiance or aggression as a self defense reaction. In this mode, the easiest and most rampant results seen among people are spoiling relationships, transferring blame to external factors and an unwillingness to come out of the shell to observe ourselves like others observe us.

Cleansing such complexities is very tough when we look for help and help is not available. Anyway, eventually, we have to work at cleansing ourselves.

There are many cleansers available if we find it in our hearts to use them.

COMPASSION is one. To feel a sense of kindness towards those who are going through a negative phase and are enveloping you in it, however unwittingly. Compassion demonstrates an understanding for such people.

FORGIVENESS is the next. “Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do”, is one of the Commandments in the Bible. Forgiveness was supposed to be a way of life, which, today, is very hard to find. Our ego often boasts of having forgiven, but genuine forgiveness has two sides: to forgive and to be forgiven.  This two way forgiveness is deeply cleansing in terms of bettering relationships as well as cleansing past karma.

CLEANLINESS: We look at cleanliness in terms of hygiene, referring to cleansing the body, our homes, the kitchen utensils we cook and eat in. But cleanliness also means keeping the purity of thought, word and deed in our daily lives. We often fail to do so, submitting to our reactionary mode to cause more and more damage everywhere and spreading negativity instead of cleanliness.

SELF CONTROL: Giving in to desires and wants, adopting unethical means to achieve those wants, inability to control anger or hatred, meting out injustice and many such impure initiatives can be removed with self control.

Life presents many challenges and it is tough to practice using these cleansers. Ultimately, those who don’t do not make a habit of cleansing may end up paying a heavy price with their health or losing valuable relationships and run the risk of isolation.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

National Committee Chairperson, All Ladies League ( www.aall.in )

What Do You Want To Attract?

My school autograph book which I still possess and cherish has, as I now realize many years later, a very profound autograph. “BE GOOD AND GOODNESS WILL EMBRACE YOU FROM ALL SIDES”. Actually, we grew up listening to the sermonizing of this principle “ad nauseum” without actually understanding the depth of the meaning. It was so much easier to get quickly into a reactionary mode and justify it, too.

Many moons later, when I read “Conversations with God”, I was intrigued by what I read. My understanding of the paragraph from that book was that if we “wanted” something that “want” would echo in the Universe as “want” and come back to us as “want”. Therefore, we would always remain “in want”. Later, when I became a hypnotherapist and learnt about changing our consciousness from negative to positive through affirmations, all the pieces of the puzzle came together for me..

In effect, we attract what we ARE. In other words, we have to BE what we want to attract. But, is it really so simple? Ironically, we are conditioned into believing that we will be what we want to be only if we satisfy our wants. But if wants always keep us “wanting”, how do we become what we want to attract? Very confusing, to say the least!

Actually, we fail to focus on who we are and the trouble starts there. We are sparks of the Divine, here on this earth as humans only for a period of time to fulfill our individual soul purpose, not to immerse ourselves in this world and lose sight of this purpose. As mentioned in “Ramayana”, we need to live in this world as boats that sail parallel to the river to cross over to the other side, without letting the water enter them , thereby, running the risk of drowning.

Once we realize that we are a part of the Divine and therefore, the Divine itself, we will also realize logically that we are as complete as the Divine, too. The moment we start feeling the connection and the feeling of abundance and joy, abundance and joy will begin to define us.

Achieving this state of being can happen in a mere instant of true realization or can take many lifetimes. Meanwhile, it definitely helps to know that we are where we are meant to be and that our evolution is a process of self realization. No one can get us anywhere but ourselves. The free will and choices given to mankind are evidence of this fact. Regrets are completely avoidable because there are no retakes in life and we can only learn from our past deeds if not from the wisdom of others. As we fall, we need to pick ourselves up and do better the next time. Again, it helps to know that we are eternal and will eventually have to arrive where we were meant to, in the first place.

So, what do we want to attract? The choice is ours and the Universe will support us in our endeavors. “Be good and goodness will embrace you from all sides”.  Does this make more sense now?  Let us be cautioned though, that the converse can be true as well.

Didn’t  I say the choice was ours ?

SPIRITUAL POVERTY

As much as we live in a scientifically evolving world, we are also afflicted with spiritual poverty. Ironically, this has happened in the very land of spiritual masters, sages and the enlightened Buddha, a land which the entire world turns to for spiritual knowledge.

Unfortunately, there is no measure of the spiritual rate of growth. In the words of Diana Cooper,” if children and adults were given permission to speak their truth and taught to follow their intuition, then honored for doing so, there would be no war.” In these words, we see the presence of spiritual values as being directly connected with the individual and war.

In the period of “satyug”, there was science, politics, economics, a system of justice. The difference is that every child was taught the ethics and values that should underlie all of these.

Therefore, the creation of the ASHRAM CHATUSHTAYA or the four stages of life was the most effective system for the natural, practical and spiritual regulation of society.

In the first stage, BRAHMACHRYA ( the student and celibate stage until the age of 18 years), the child learnt all the subjects : academics, sports, use of weapons, creative arts and above all, the values of honesty, respect for elders, integrity, duty consciousness, charity, love and compassion and balancing duties and responsibilities. The teachers were sages and elevated people who actually set an example with their own lives instead of just preaching without practicing what they taught. Today, it is not easy for parents and teachers to earn respect for the reason that, often, they do not live their lives in an exemplary way. Today, there is very little of value based training happening and children are growing up without the required anchor of the right knowledge and inner strength which is not and cannot be the product of mere affluence. Mark sheets and gnawing ambitions are the second stage, the first being the moral, ethical fibre of each person which adds the most important value to the other aspects of success. Promiscuousness and greed form the basis of a teenager’s quest for independence and relationships. With the element of self absorption, the corruption of the misled youth is complete.

In the second stage, GRAHASTH ASHRAM ( the householder phase , from 18 years of age), the students from the earlier phase were trained and groomed for marriage and the duties and responsibilities that go hand in hand with this phase. This was a phase of professional training, often under the elders of the family because many enterprises were hereditary. This trained the individual in teamwork, maintaining respect for family and social norms. Mutual trust was the moving force, whether in family or society. Helping the less fortunate by contributing 10 % of earnings was an inbuilt part of the social fiber. Today, we see a very different picture. Even charity is done for motives other than compassion and duty consciousness. The overwhelming greed of money, power and comfort have eclipsed most of the earlier tutoring by wise teachers. The elders and dependent family members are treated as impediments to personal growth instead of being looked after. We see more and more old age homes mushrooming. The element of complete intolerance towards taking care of our own is a chronic malfunction of the societies today based on the erosion of relationships and the emerging of insular families. The contemporary youth has gradually been deprived of the right values and today, we see more spiritual poverty than ever before.

The purpose of the third stage of life, VAANAPRASTH ASHRAM (celibacy stage) was two fold. Meant for the heads of the family, it required the parents to transfer their householder status and business to the children who had , by then, stepped into the householder stage and had already had a few years of training under the parents in the field of economics as well as social values and behavior. The parents were then supposed to be there for the children in an advisory capacity along with looking ahead towards their future. Today, the elders don’t want to let go of the reins and are also known to control the lives of their children based on their image in society and their own aspirations for their children. In many homes, the lack of freedom of decision making is the cause for strained relationships and frustration among children whose voices are strangulated. While so many career options have opened up, the minds are not as open. Parents, teachers, families and societies are all interconnected in depleting the balance and the energies of the upcoming generation. Although changes are seen, there is still enough pollution of moral corruption going around. Change will happen rapidly when the intolerance towards this corruption is voiced in ample measure. This trend is becoming visible and there is hope that it continues unabated and strengthens manifold to actually manifest the return of what we, as Indians, stood for.

In the fourth and final stage of life, SANYAAS ASHRAM, this was a preparation to pass on from this world. “SANYAAS” means taking leave from active participation in worldly activities and moving towards spiritual evolution. In the earlier times, the senior couple would sometimes leave the children to stay in another home to pursue spiritual activities such as prayer and charity. Today, there are battles between father and son because the order of natural succession is not observed. This also happens because the children may not exhibit the caliber and mature thought processes to carry on the work of the elders effectively. So, we have to go back to the initial training given to children. In other scenarios, parents are unable to “retire” from the lives of their children. This leads to resentment and the corrosion of relationships.

It is true to say that the old order changes, giving place to the new one. However, there is a constant truth that prevails in all times, and that is the authenticity of universal laws governing us. Each time the law of Harmony is violated, the results have been terrible. We need to go within ourselves and experience the connectivity with everything in this Creation and unleash the power of love and compassion. Every soul has all the right knowledge within but gets enmeshed in the dark energies instead of making the choice of living in the light.

As Diana Cooper says in her book, “A New Light of Ascension “, “if children and adults were given permission to speak their truth and taught to follow their intuition, then honored for doing so, there would be no war”.

I would like to add here that “war” has to be waged against the dark forces within and outside us, against destructive thought patterns, speech and actions , in fact, against anything which does not result in harmony and “win-win” situations.

As the old souls reincarnate on the earth to raise it’s over all consciousness, I urge every existing soul to adopt a self searching path to help in raising the vibrations of the earth to a much higher level. Become a light worker and spread the light in the universe so that all of us can bathe in this light of peace, health and happiness.

Surekha Kothari

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Personality Challenges

We all know the saying, “you can take the horse to the water but you can’t make it drink”. I have experienced this as a therapist and have been amazed at this phenomenon. Is it for real that human beings KNOW that they need healing but still persist in building up more reasons for healing through more negative actions. Why is this so? Let me create some awareness on this point.

The first reason is past life karma. If the person has come to experience karmic issues from another life, it is possible that triggers for change may not happen until the experience is completely over. Old karmas need to be lived out. Only with an awareness and acceptance of what IS will come the realization of what CAN BE. In such cases, an individual can make a conscious choice to heal the issue / s.

The second reason may be a conscious resistance to heal that could have occurred due to an energy attachment from the outside which may not want to heal and therefore, does not allow the individual to become aware or seek help. Very often, when we are vulnerable, the resulting weakness may cause our aura to be perforated or broken. At such times, external energies can walk into our aura, disturb it and alter our personality so much that we even start thinking and living like that energy did when it was alive. These may be deceased energies that don’t transit into the light. It could also be other unseen energies.

The third issue may be an inherent suspicion in the healing modalities and process which comes from a space of fear of the unknown and the insecurity of giving the control in the hands of a therapist. The pre condition for healing is intention, faith and consistency.

Another huge reason is living in denial. I have seen many people blocking people from their lives, avoiding places and living in a make believe world because they don’t want to come out of the box they have climbed into, the box that gives them a certain amount of comfort to enable them to live with themselves. Such clients, when they have been cajoled into seeking therapy have often sat before me in sullen silence, not communicating and mostly, avoiding eye contact and looking towards the floor. Needless to say, neither counseling nor therapy has been possible in such cases.

People who want to transform through healing sometimes, in their lack of understanding and knowledge, come to me thinking I have a magic wand which will make everything alright. I want to emphasize the role of taking personal responsibility for healing oneself. Every day, some amount of negative build up happens with most people. Our daily routine must necessarily incorporate cleansing practices like Chakra cleansing, Pranayama and meditation to keep our minds relatively clean and functioning with clarity and compassion.

I absolutely recommend trying to live from your heart and diminish the ego. The heart does not lie. Love and fear are the two main universal energies and it doesn’t take a genius to make a choice between the two.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

SENSITIVE and COMPASSIONATE

I find that after I became a therapist, one of the very subtle learning that I have had is the interpretation of the broad spectrum words “Sensitive” and “compassionate”. We generally applaud a person for being sensitive because we are automatically attributing the quality of compassion. This is not wrong when it comes to being sensitive to others. We do empathize with people and even feel some of the pain they go through.

Having said this, when people are sensitive within themselves, that may be another story. This group of “sensitive” people can have a very fragile ego and an pile up emotional scars and wounds frequently on themselves. “Feeling bad” often and looking for approval and endorsements of who they are can be the basic trait of many people who claim to be sensitive. These people are also low on self worth and self esteem due to the fact that they get their identity from others. There is possibly a void within which is only filled by others liking them or approving them.

These kind of people are always going out of their way to doing things for people without really being asked and out of an expectation that they will be tagged as “good”. Most important, in relying on others, they have given away their energy to others and also consequently, given away their power to others. To have a consistent relationship with these kind of people is a challenge. They can be mercurial and highly unpredictable.

As a healer, I want to tell these people that recognition and approval of the self that comes from within is the right one. Every soul is on its own journey with its own karmic issues looking for a resolution to move forward and evolve. Getting stuck with other souls on this earth can stunt personal growth and evolution and what they have come to achieve in this lifetime may not be achieved.

This shift can happen only with a personal awareness and acceptance that this needs a change and must be changed. Only we can help ourselves.

Surekha Kothari

The Politics of Subversion

There is a famous “Indian Crab” story which I, as an Indian, am not proud of. The open container of Indian crabs pulling each other down is the story of not only the politicians but also of the modern society. Sometimes, even the thought that a land of such a spectacular spiritual heritage can demonstrate such decadence in the moral fibre on one side and on the other side, be a role model to the world in terms technology, arts, literature, fashion and spiritual “gurus”, is mind boggling and disturbing.

I can understand ambition and seeking success. I can also understand looking up to eminent people as role models and wanting to be where they are. On a slightly lower thought level, I can see why people might be envious of others when they don’t reach the goals they aspire for. But the understanding stops here. 

 The moment I think of who I am, this introspection mode automatically brings an awareness of my connectivity with people and nature, my karmic plan, the ethics of living, my fate and destiny and my responsibility to myself before others. I truly believe that if each one of us focused on all of these, we would not, in fact, COULD NOT be contributors of decadence in any major way. 

It is typical that the churning and the changing tide of time and events in India, being perceived largely as the dawn of an era of light after a dark period, should not be welcomed by a few self promoting, subversive forces who survive on personal gain at the cost of other people and the country. This state of affairs has prevailed in India for many years. Today, however, from the grass roots, we   hear  the agitated, dissatisfied and desperate voices of the masses, determined to fight for their right to a better life, a better future, a better governance. The tempestuous fever of the multitudes must necessarily mark the beginning of the return of India to its former spiritual glory of peace, prosperity, right to equality, respect for women, moral and ethical teaching for children, dignity of labour and most important, honesty, trust and safety as pillars of society.  

This might sound simplistic and too drastic a change from the current state of degeneration. But I am the eternal optimist. Life is divided into phases. What goes up has to come down. So, logically, if everything changes, this, too, shall pass. The assertiveness of people magnified by a responsible media are the harbingers of the good times to come. The growing intolerance for heinous acts of crime are evidence that this cannot go on and will not be allowed to go on anymore.  

The vibrations of this earth must be raised to a higher level by each one of us by setting examples of simple living and high thinking, thereby replacing the detrimental nature of the present self seeking, commercial, ego driven and greed inspired living. India is a land of an awesome spiritual heritage. It is that energy which has carried us through historical catastrophes again and again and yet, has saved us from complete destruction. Interwoven minutely into the Indian fabric, this energy, when activated, will, in one stroke, sweep away the misdeeds of a few and restore the earlier order of an ethical and peaceful society.

Surekha Kothari

VALUING CREATION

There is nothing superfluous in Creation. The greatest lesson in humility, therefore, is showing a healthy respect for everything. Translating from a Gujarati saying, “We may need even a grain of sand in life”. Let us therefore, show respect to the grain of sand also.

Another great truth is that the people we meet climbing up may be the ones we meet coming down as well. To my mind, the two sayings are linked. The fact that the Congress party has had to scamper back to the Communist party for an alliance, a party that it had shunned, is a prime example.There seems to be a natural system of justice, checks and balances that seems to work above themachinations of man. Surely, we must believe in the law of karma.

In everyday life, too, we see this all the time. Genuine friendships and relationships survive the onslaught of time because of the steadfastness ingrained in the sincerity of bonds which stand the test of time. But in order for this to happen, we have to burn a lamp in our hearts all the time, however dense the darkness around us, or within our sense of perception. The underlying theme here is humility, mutual respect and love, in that order.

If we have disregarded and disrespected, or even tried to harm anything or anyone, it has boomeranged on us some time or another. Promises, if made pretentiously and not fulfilled carry the huge burden of false intentions which perhaps build a chain of actions and reactions and a cloud of escalating negativity which has to end in disaster of some kind.

We see all this happening around us but, for some reason, we seem immune and continue to be immune and insensitive till it happens to us directly. This is one of the reasons that we wait for a crisis to happen before we begin to act.

The time to act is here, in the present moment, each minute and every day. If only we could wake up to facts and observe reality, which is intrinsically pure and simple, to counteract and avert disasters of distorted minds!

The burden of my song is that if nothing is superfluous in Creation, there are codes of conduct to live by to make Creation meaningful. Greed, hatred, self promotion at the cost of everything and everyone and subversion are certainly not within the list of this code designed for world peace and prosperity. We have seen disastrous consequences of violating the natural laws of the universe, decade after decade, century after century and spilling over into the currently chaotic times.

Think about it! If politics means good governance, can we ignore the well being of the citizens whose responsibility politicians have taken on, without dire consequences? If regulation of societies is the aim, can we achieve this without first organizing the individual, families and social groups into right thinking and values, right speech and right action? We nurture gardens in our backyard but fail to nurture individuals. We have animal pets but disrespect our own family members. We lap up generosity from others but fight shy of returning the same. We want to be acknowledged and rewarded for whatever service we do or laurels we gain, but are reticent about encouraging or praising the good deeds of others.

What kind of trends we are painstakingly cultivating and what effect they are having in the world today is for everyone to see. I believe it is never too late to make a concentrated effort to reverse these harmful trends, however deeply they may be woven within the fabric of the country and the world at this time. The amazing brain of man that can wreak havoc and destroy can also stem the tide of anarchy, consolidate and build again.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com