Counselling

 

Compassion and Kindness

Sure, go out and help people. That’s what life teaches due to mutual connectivity. But don’t deplete your own energy while doing so. Your energy is meant for your journey. And you require it regularly.

This is what empaths do. Help and move back. Someone who feels the pain of others but does not internalize it. Instead, helps in every which way to alleviate suffering.

Compassion and kindness are off shoots of empathy. Most important is balance though. Remember the principle of always wearing your own oxygen mask first. Keep enough oxygen for yourself.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Isolation

 That feeling of isolation when you realize no one is really understanding you and your explanations, however genuine, are falling on deaf ears! That you may well be on a different planet speaking in an alien language.

But, please don’t take it as an offence or a slur on you. It is really not. For the most part, today, people’s minds are buzzing so much with their own issues which they are trying hard to conceal or deny, that genuine communication or empathy for that matter, eludes them.

They are thinking west when you are talking east. It would be funny if it were not sad!

It has become the norm to excel in small talk “feel good” talk, as if the sugary words stem straight from a glass of alcohol.

Sometimes, it is better not to have too much awareness or understand too much! It kind of spoils you for superficial fun. Nonsensical interaction which is not designed to make “sense” in any remote way!

Our energies are spent more in beating about the bush than take a straight path.

But, when it concerns a large number of people, I guess, salutary changes in the minority may not be visible unless many begin to adapt.

So here we are, each one of us believing that we are on the right track but the tracks run parallel and so does communication become a casualty because there is no meeting point.

Communicate with yourself instead. Smile at these instances of being a chalk against cheese or cheese against a chalk! It’s all the same ultimately. And anyway, the focus was always YOU.

So, you can find yourself, your reality, your peace within, and stop wondering about anything else.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Stimulation

As we advance in age, you know what becomes a moot question? That how many years have we tried to come up to other people’s expectations, to get that much craved for pat on the back to feel good and feel a sense of comfortable self-esteem?

And what does it take to come into our own as yet undiscovered space which belongs only to us? Rejected by none other than ourselves in exchange for temporary happiness handed out by others. The crumbs of happiness that actually had such a short life and yet, we never quite understood this and kept craving for many such short lives.

But the day we realize the happiness on reaching and discovering our own space, it appears as the most beautiful garden, the most complete and the most joyful! Coming into our own! Feeling so wholesome that there is no need for any external validation or stimulation to fill any empty spaces within. Because, you see, there ARE none!

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Instability of Behavior

Public behavior has certain norms for a civilized society. Instability of behavior, being civil when you are calm and venting when you are in a bad mood… a lot of this seems to be tolerated today.

Obviously, this demonstrates some emotional confusion, lack of control over your mind and finally, even less on your speech.

So, one day you smile and the next, you are flaying the same person with unkind words! The consequence is a lot of back chat about that person.

I don’t think we even care about how superficial we are and how we don’t think twice before mowing people down with our unsavory language and generally bad behavior.

I guess the current societies encourage such irresponsible behavior inadvertently by not censuring it and not focusing on its desirability vis a vis non desirability. And so it carries on with some.

But for how long? Because at the end of the day, people are intelligent enough to understand the reasons even though they will not admit them openly.

Its pathetic in a way that you can feel good after disrespecting people in public. But the good news is, its solely the problem of that one person.

Like Buddha said, just return to people their own negativity. There is no need to accept it.

If only we studied his teachings!

We are generally showing a downward trend in values. And because we are too morally weak to rise, we pull others down to where we are.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com
www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Courage

One important dimension of courage! Become unpopular but do the right thing. You may not get brownie points from those around you but you WILL, from places that matter.

And the fear of alienation here keeps us away from connecting frequencies with the universe.

Loss therefore, can be described in two ways: one being misled while we are on the physical plane and the other, long term loss from giving in to illusions and failing to connect with what is real.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com
www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Counselling

 

Meditation

We look for something all the time … searching all our lives for that one thing that may end all our troubles and make us peaceful.

But that’s not how it works. There are plenty of cobwebs to clear.

Besides, have we perhaps tried to look for what is actually looking for US? The so far unseen and unfelt vibrations that follow us to improve our thinking, our actions, give us clarity, are the casualty of our lack of awareness and focus on the wrong things.

The pity is, our energies are too dense to feel subtleties! Our tendency is more external oriented and so, very difficult to tune into subtle frequencies.

Some of us would have felt a tiny tremor within us sometime, only to have discarded it on the spot without understanding what it was trying to tell us.

To the meditators, these vibrations might touch sooner than later. New stimulation, new thoughts, new focus can happen with meditation. It changes lives.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Realization

 At some point, after a lot of struggles and tears, we must reach a point where the universe becomes our mentor. We have been living within lower vibrations, attempting to experiment with different outcomes. But the foundation itself has been questionable.

Some humans on a quest for higher dimensions appear like aliens and find few like them in their journey.

But carry on they must, despite the risk of being misunderstood or isolated. Sometimes, there are no meeting points in minds and so, no satisfactory communication may be possible.

Maybe, the death of the old and the beginning of the new is the way out . Funny how strange the same old world starts looking and how puzzling to have spent so much time and emotions where now, there is a remoteness of watching the same things as mere observers.

The ultimate realization that we do have to leave this world at some point makes everything meaningless except what my soul carries out of this world: the memories, the healing and the joy or just restlessness and a lot of unfinished business as arrears for other lives.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Achievement

The capacity of people to shoot down a rising star is famous in its often vicious tactics.

A pathetic aspect of human nature? I am afraid I have to agree, out of years of observation AND experience.

When you look at the brave jawans or freedom fighters, eminent spiritual gurus (the saints that walked this earth), you realize how insignificant each human is in this vast universe. But the human ego is indomitable!

The ego encourages wrongful actions in the scramble to claw our way to supremacy. Except that this is, at best, an illusory situation.  This realisation is the beginning of a spiritual awareness inspiring humility.

To “perceive” such an illusion is a short term feeling of achievement. It is frequently seen that people who do their work quietly, sincerely and efficiently and who are not interested in the limelight are the ones most contented and happy. Peaceful! They only compete with themselves each day to aspire towards achieving greater heights.

It is great to have ambition, goals and a plan of action to reach the goals, but planning the downfall of someone climbing side by side with you or overtaking you is anti-dharma, anti-ethics, anti-spiritual, in fact, anti-everything human even.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Personality

A lot of things we do go against us but it has become such a norm in society today that hardly anyone thinks twice before doing them.

There are small and not so small lies, for one. The small ones CAN be avoided by saying it as it is. Without any harm coming to either side. Like, giving excuses unnecessarily.

Then there are the bigger lies which CAN be harmful in different ways. Once truth is out, there will definitely be an outcome which may not be a palatable one.

So many relationships hang by a slender thread of trust. Lies can kill them. If you claim to love, it is not valid without trust. And the basis of trust is respect.

If you can lie to someone, you evidently lack respect for that person. Whatever the reason be, it speaks only of your internal shadow personality.

It is therefore, very important to look within first. There are many cobwebs which manifest as untruths and need cleaning.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Acceptability

 Every day you experience something and if you have an analytical bent of mind, you start to draw parallels!

I was recommending a few Pakistani dramas to some friends, when one of them suddenly said “you should not be supporting Pakistani dramas”. Now, I knew it was coming from a good place but I begged to differ. I said this had nothing to do with politics and though I loved my country, I thought that opinions like this, to me, were negative patriotism. Very sportingly, my friend agreed that entertainment was actually neutral territory.

This had me extrapolating in my mind! This happens big time in the society also. Someone maligns someone and friends who flock together decide to ostracize the maligned person who may have been just a victim of someone’s envy. And this is NOT gender specific.

People are so myopic and cliquish that if you are not willing to copy these attitudes, you can end up walking alone.

Acceptability and generosity are two virtues which are very rare among human beings. They prioritize on power and controls to feel good about themselves. We are seeing this unfolding right at the top , with  ego power play between countries.

The micro is reflected in the macro and this is the reality today. Sometimes, I think there is a subtle shift happening towards the transparent and recognition of merit and goodness. But we still have to wait for the manifestation of the shift. We still do not accept each other and are in constant conflict with each other.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Counselling

 

Humiliation

What is our biggest and the most regrettable loss? Have we thought about it? Or are we moving through life mechanically?

Our biggest loss is losing OURSELVES… losing our intrinsic spiritual nature, losing our faith in that we are divine creatures, losing pure minds over frivolous and harmful activities and creating negative karma by the minute.

Really??? Is that how we want to be described or seen by the world? And more important, is this how we actually want to live the life gifted to us?

And all this wastage of our precious lives just to accommodate others and run the race of popularity when our reality is “from dust unto dust”?

Each time we indulge in a negative act, we are sinking deeper and deeper into our pool of darkness. We just don’t see it because we are not aware or conscious that it is a natural outcome which we, at some point, will just HAVE to pay for.

The irony of the human is that what you don’t see, you don’t realize the impact of. How strange that instead of bringing the sub conscious into the conscious and clearing it up, we choose to increase our dark spaces. By continuing our negative patterns of thought, word and deed. These keep manifesting and we keep increasing the darkness within us. Especially when we derive vicarious pleasure from observing the downfall or humiliation of others. It is actually OUR downward journey.

The ego IS our identity but must be counteracted by the attitude of humility, grace and goodness.

With Bharat moving ahead with such speed, can we afford to be sluggish in our individual “vikaas”, that is, upliftment?

Think seriously! Life is given for reflection and transformation.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/