Truth

 Why have we arrived at a stage when we hate truthful people? The whole social wheel accepts “sweet lies”, pandering to egos, and people pleasing.

Of course, people pleasing again bans any truth. Some of us can dish it out but are unable to take it. We do not like looking at any dark corners within ourselves; we just want to point out those of others.

It could be conflicts where one is generally responsible for starting them but retaliations pile up to camouflage the intrinsic core of the truth.

Masks, false smiles, saying nice things about each other but talking the opposite behind! No courage there!

Where is the truth in all this? There is a real dearth of real and truthful people because it takes great courage to speak your truth. Because if you do, you definitely stand isolated. However white you may be in the eyes of God, society can paint you black on account of your speech.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Inner World

 In every nook and corner, there are people indulging in judging and gossip and this is directly proportionate to the insecurities and complexes they carry.

Education, satsang, spiritual studies also don’t help. Basically, even kindness and compassion belongs more in the camp of empaths. As long as we are nowhere near conscious, aware people, we cannot become empaths and there is the block right there.

People would relish advising you without even knowing your side of the story.

Typical! There is a power there: of thinking they know enough to counsel even with a somewhat polluted heart.

It is incredible! Seems like God never gave us an inner world to tackle at all. It’s all about putting others on a weighing scale.

Sometimes, I think someone must do a PhD on this topic.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Silence

 Holding your head high tells people that you are the lead character of your own story. Confidence is liberating from external Validation. Walk tall and create your own space. Don’t shrink into someone else’s world.

Respect starts with you. Don’t give energy to anything negative. People will test your boundaries, try to judge you and control you even, and fail to see your worth. Or it may not suit them to see your worth so, they would try to push you down.

Silence to any external negative stimulus is the apt response. Silence in thought and silence of any reaction.

Owning your own life is the biggest step forward.  Let everything come from within and grow on your own elevating benchmark every day, based on your own increasing wisdom. Learning and growth are products of personal experiences. No one can live your life for you, however supportive they may be.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Compassion

 You can either look at someone and choose to find it in your heart to blame or criticize. OR, you can use compassion to understand the behavior. But let’s remember that this is the reaction of your mind which is already programmed in a certain way.

It is really a fact that if you suffer, you suffer alone. People might sympathize superficially but to feel someone’s pain is not an attribute with people.

Hence, the recommendation to understand that isolation from people is creating space for God within your energy.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Confidence

 The web of relationships is intricate and before you know it, your inner peace begins to depend on external validation. Seeking approval to cultivate your own identity becomes vital to your well-being.

Ground your sense of self-worth in your own values, not in the opinion of others. This does not mean you let go of relationships. It only means you respect who you are and your faith in yourself does not get shaken each time someone chooses to disrespect you. Your value for yourself comes from within you.

And external validation also gives others power over you. You need to reclaim that power and keep it with yourself.

Are you living in alignment with your own values and principles? If you are, that is all the confidence you need. All the validation you need.

Your life will get stuck if you don’t actually walk the path. Life will always have challenges but if truth be told, if you take charge of your life, you will be surprised how much you can achieve.

We are so much more than our minds and intellect, our ego and our sub conscious. That one consciousness that watches our lives as witness consciousness is what we need to satisfy. It is the weighing scale that balances us if we are aware of it. Many aren’t, unfortunately.

Living a life replete with self-created toxicity and negativity will just amount to a wasted life where we could have become brilliant versions of ourselves but got stuck in a quagmire in which we became so comfortable that we never thought we should extricate ourselves to find ownership of ourselves.

Overcome your own person rather than someone else, which comes out of thinking others are better. Not true. Self-doubt is a big culprit.

No one really cares as much as you think they do. They are busy dealing with their own challenges, their negativities.

Think! How much have you feared the criticism and judgement of others and have tried to fit into a mould someone else created for you!  

When will you have the courage to pursue something meaningful just for yourself?

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Karmic Cycle

 It is a blessing if we can handle the last phases of our lives with important learning. Life teaches us but we don’t learn or it takes us a long time to learn. But learn we must.

The reason why Vanaprasth and sanyas are advocated is because entering these phases with inquiry enables us to work on the control of our desires . It is desires that remain within our subtle bodies and which return with our next birth through the causal bodies.

To detach is difficult when so much attachment has piled up due to ignorance. To unlearn all of that and to relearn new lessons of surrender to the divine and not to human relationships is not easy at all.

So, after a certain age, during the last phases of this life, it becomes imperative to gradually detach from the causes and effects cycle, and become conscious of the time, space and causation which keeps us coming back here again and again.

Being aware of your karmic cycle is extremely important. Most of our lives are tied to this cycle.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Growth

 A daily, mindful search for answers can be really worthwhile in your life. And I mean a spiritual search for the truth.

Of course, acceptance of what you cannot change is one aspect of life. But living a depressed life is no answer. We have a higher self, an alter ego so to speak, within us which has a completely different vision of who we are and should be if we are not.

To tap into it, perhaps we need to rise above all environmental influences and all of our own mental aberrations. Also important is getting to your own truth, untainted by what others think about you. Every judgement is shallow and not to be entertained. No one has the complete knowledge or experience of you more than yourself. And even then, we are vast and so much is yet unrevealed. So why deplete your own power and sense of worth?

Every bit is work only on the self. Nothing more, nothing else. And your answers come from within once you have gotten over the phases of anger, denial and bargaining with the self.

It is just like when you are in darkness and out of the blue, a light shines and illuminates everything. 

Meanwhile, keep letting go. Don’t hold on to anything that hampers your growth.

The last few moments of breath before life ends are the most crucial. We have to work towards a clean and detached mind without any pining for any aspect of life, or clutching on.

LET GO!  And keep letting go every minute.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Consequences

 A simple fact which eludes us at the best of times. We are not here to make ourselves comfortable in this world. If that were the case, there would not be a constant fire under us, designed to make us move, even jump.

It is like an obstacle race which is mandatory for all.

Be aware that there are consequences even if we don’t participate.

What we call wisdom is to recognize this fact, enter the race and go by its rules. Like a marathon, it is wisdom to complete it in the right way, with the right rules. Ranking does not matter. And don’t say you did not know the rules!

The tragedy is, we all have a conscience which tells which way to go, but soon, that voice of conscience is silenced by us. And after that, it is anyone’s guess where we will land up.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Humanity

 It is high time we realized that we are completely responsible for the decadence of our minds. Man against man and woman against woman. All this jargon about it being a man’s world needs to be looked at. Who is responsible?

It starts with parents favoring a boy child. The power that parents in law use to mishandle the woman who leaves her parental home to integrate herself into a non-accepting and even abusive family. Maybe, they know no better. Ignorance is the worst affliction humanity suffers from. In extreme cases, this can result even in suicide later!

This is one side. Now, to the parents of the girl they marry off in a hurry, often into a non-compatible family. And they refuse to support her. She is then left to fend for herself in a hostile environment. We see the atrocities committed on her every day. We love preach that what can’t kill you makes you stronger. Talk to the person who faces abuse!

Look at the evils in society. India is said to be a forerunner in crimes on women, rape and sadism ranking the highest at this time.

Worst of the lot is women against women instead of supporting each other. Petty squabbles, comparisons of all kinds. “Friends” who abuse and so called “friends” who watch friends being abused! Sibling rivalry over looks and property! (by the way, men are equally guilty). Women in women empowerment organizations, politicking with each other and disempowering themselves in the bargain!

In business groups, where women who marry into such “family” owned businesses, where they have no rights once their spouse is no more.

What kind of mind and attitudes are we sporting, that we are completely out of control? Virtues like mutual respect, boundaries among genders, trust, faith are all wiped out and the few who value them are actually the butt of ridicule.

We are busy at parties, get together, speech platforms, spouting words defaming all of this, but WHO is responsible when humans attack humans? Does ANY finger point back with a deep realization? No! Always at others.

We never stop to think that it is each one of us with our polluted personas that contributes to this dirt in the world: the situation that is called Kaliyug.

Look within and clean up. This is the way the energy around you will reflect your environmental cleanliness. People will talk ad nauseum about how it is impossible to reverse the trends of today but no one will start the process of reversing them. We have lost the connection with the divine energy which is all around us but we never tune into that frequency, with terrible and disastrous results.

What kind of a world are we leaving behind for the future generations when humans themselves are incapable of managing the very institutions of humanity, service and justice that they are the custodians of, custodians, I have to say, without caring and compassion for people who depend on them due to their own powerlessness? Custodians who don’t care about fulfilling the mandate they are given and they have committed to verbally and even on paper. Forget the power of the spoken word.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Realization

 They don’t say “old is gold” for nothing! It takes a long time for feelings to percolate down into your heart and only then can you bypass the idiosyncrasies of a person and let them find a place in your heart. It takes a long while and a lot of letting go of the superficial nature to find something deeper.

But once in a while and rarely, you do come across a soul match that was waiting for the right time to come into your life.

When you are down and out, this happens strangely and quite suddenly!

Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, with a realization that nothing is in our control but the one who rules our destinies also is merciful enough to put up with many foolishness’s of his children who are riddled with ignorance and yet, so loved by HIM, giving us innumerable chances to see HIM clearly by doing HIS bidding.

Counting all the blessings every day.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Perspective

 There is no healing like a free and fair discussion between two people who have had an issue. You should value a relationship enough to keep the bonds going.

Always opt to build a bridge first. There is never any point in being drastic. And always try to see the other point of view. Even if you don’t agree with each other, talk it out, understand that perspectives are different, amicably agree to disagree and close the episode. With a little love and caring, you can do so. This attitude has maturity.

Of course, there is always the usual ego reaction which borders on the breaking of ties. This is rampant but very sad. It need not be.

This world is suffering from a major disconnection. And it is not doing humanity much good. Old ties are breaking and new ones forming. A natural family is getting diluted and friends are being called “extended family”. Isn’t that contradictory, this calling friends “family” when the original family is being torn apart? Ironic!

Our thinking is so topsy turvy, we don’t realize it’s all negative thought inspired by the ego, and nothing else.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Connectivity

 

I think we blame the artificial means of connectivity too much. I think human connectivity has failed to a great extent even before technology took over.

Remember how friendships used to be? Frankness and loyalty and trust were the three vital pillars of a relationship. What happened?

If you feel close to someone and say something you see in them that needs improvement, you will lose the relationship. The ego is intolerant. So much for frankness!

Loyalty? Trust? What’s that? Talking to others about your friends / family is a “normal” thing. Of course, we tell ourselves that we are not being disloyal. We are just sharing our lives to feel good. But does gossip make us “feel good “? If so, we need to examine our mental / emotional state.

We are gradually bringing society to a high superficial level, bringing “friendship” also to a level accumulating around us people who contribute to our egos and who make us feel relevant because somewhere within us, we have a big void.

In a world of social media, when “friends” can shun us because we have not studiously put a “like” to their posts or have not commented on certain posts, are we even qualified to seek friendships? What kind of priorities have we developed and how much “on the surface” are we! Sometimes, when I experience shallowness, I think we are lost in this jungle.

A definition of a relationship has changed many a time but it was never as multi-pronged like a hydra as it is today. The earlier 3 pillared edifices is rare and extremely valuable even if there is one human being in your life
who answers to this 3 pillared definition. You should not let people like that out of sight or your heart. Hold on to them. They are priceless.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Determination

 Inner transformation is the need of the hour. Despite millions of podcasts, self-help books and posts circulated every hour on the hour, this grooming eludes us.

It’s scary to embark on this path though. Takes courage and determination. You have to be prepared for your life of comfort being shaken up, your relationships being churned big time, confusion within the self before clarity, preparation for facing unknown tests that may result in many people falling off your radar and new ones entering. And the courage to face it all with a knowing that there are obstacles to overcome and inner toxins to be removed for ascension.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Generosity

 Everyone is gifted by the Divine. If we can just understand our gifts, we do not need to compare ourselves with anyone. It is when we cannot see ourselves that we feel an imaginary void within us that makes us want to be like someone else, even have what others have. Actually, we have “enough” if only we can KNOW we have enough. And we build on that. This is our responsibility.

I wish I could make each one experience this fact. Generosity and praise for each other just opens up our heart channels and life seems to flow happily if we work on ourselves consistently and simultaneously learn to create happiness in others.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Experience

Life is a cycle. You live, you experience, you learn, you trust the process. Again, you experience, learn not to trust too much. Then you experience and experience, some good, some bad, some ugly.

Now, you unlearn some of what you have learnt, go into new learnings discarding the older ones.

And then again you learn that maybe the older ones were, in fact, better learnings. And you start trusting all over again.

Does it sound familiar? Like a yoyo or a roller coaster. Up and down, side to side. And we suffer from a dizziness that lasts until our breath leaves us. And we never experience a balanced state!

Life is great fun!

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Evolution

 Sometimes, I wonder why we just block our own evolution with wrong thinking patterns. Most of us do know when we are wrong. And despite the knowing, we act contrary to our knowledge that we are wrong.

It is better to stand weather conditions and stand tall and upright, like a tree. But we choose to be limp bushes that can be destroyed with a mild gust of wind. A weakness of spine ought not to be developed.

We cloak our minds with a lot of lies because it becomes a survival technique. We get away with it so, guilt becomes a very small price to pay. We acquire a license, so to say, to walk around with this cloak. And soon, it becomes a somewhat permanent skin.

It is important to be very vigilant to retain our original self at all times. A second and third skin of this kind can be extremely uncomfortable in the long run. And even if you get used to it, there will be self-doubt, restlessness and anxiety. Not worth it.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Natural Life

 I have been listening to people speak about loneliness. This status, one would think, does not apply to “successful” people. But wonder of wonders! These people are also not devoid of loneliness. Which means loneliness is a state much deeper than worldly success can remove.

We presume fame, wealth and power can prevent loneliness. We also think people who always prefer to be among crowds are not lonely. Or people who are always on social media are connected and happy. Not true either.

Then what is it? If we take the Advaita Vedanta perspective, I need to believe that “I AM THAT”. But in our mechanical lives and away from nature, we don’t realize that modern amenities and modern life has cut us away from natural life. There was a time when we were connected to creation.

I remember that growing up, we were nature’s children. Walking barefoot on grass, and on pebbles, gardening, making garland and jewelry from flowers, running out to play in the rain, climbing trees to eat the fruit straight from there … connected with everything including people. Life had a tremendous value! And we were connected.

Today, we are separatist as people. We are also untrustworthy because we wear masks. We say one thing but mean another. We are not empaths. We know everyone has challenges and ups and downs but we don’t want to listen. We don’t want to sympathize. We don’t know how to come out of ourselves to help another. Everything has to be a quid pro quo.

Maybe , this very attitude tends to isolate each one of us. The ones who ARE empaths perhaps should not expect that quality from others. We are basically selfish creatures, ironically, left to work towards our evolution when we struggle with our regressive separatist tendencies.

They say Kaliyug is a good ground for quick evolution, that chanting also has multiple benefits. There was a joke on this, that if, in your ignorance, you said “Mara” instead of “Ram” you would still get the benefits.

Who knows! Only God knows. One thing is certain. Loneliness if used correctly, can definitely be beneficial to our evolution. If we can change our tracks. And last but not the least, abject loneliness has been known to be the cause of ailments like dementia.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Counselling

 

Vision

 Who am I? A spark in the universe that can become the bright light, a part of the sun and its reflected moonlight, lighting up the lives of all creatures on earth and lighting up the path of creatures that walk this earth. I AM THAT.

BUT…

Let me examine myself and first, feel this to be an important part of my existence and the reason why I tread this earth.

Next, let me stop pandering to my little self and expand my vision and my consciousness.

Finally, let me seek and elevate myself to connect with my higher self where the view is beautiful, sacred and nearest to the Divine energy.

And then watch your growth!

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Divine energy

A man travelling in a confused state of mind does not know which path will lead to his destination. There is no light along these roads, nor signboards. What does he do?

He started out without a clue.

We are somewhat like that. But in our case, we are ignorant in a different way. We actually know the answers but we don’t trust ourselves and don’t listen to our inner voice. We are also not focused inwards, but more concerned about our external image. We seem to exist on the image people have of us.

Why do we spoil our worlds? It is such a self-defeating exercise.

Praise often may not be genuine and can mislead us. But we can get addicted to feeling good through praise. And we get stuck.

Growth through honing our inner self is a painful, uncomfortable process. It can tear your guts out (metaphorically) to elevate out of the current mindsets into the world of the Divine energy which is like blinding sunlight to our darkness. To reach out and up into it, we have to leave behind the darkness of many lives.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

https://www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Determination

 May god give us the strength and the awareness to streamline our lives. And have the courage to lose superficiality within ourselves and the people around us.

It is impossible to sustain relationships between apples and oranges. Why try? 

We must accept that everyone is on different levels, different aspirations and goals. During each life we get opportunities to strive for spiritual goals. Money and power, definitely coming as a reward for good karma, unfortunately become the goal, and gradually the greed for supremacy takes away our awareness towards the means we are employing.

We begin to pile on adverse karma and all the earlier “punya” slowly ends and the new phase of karma begins, depending on future actions.

To build is easier than to sustain. To sustain there is more effort and that effort can become an unethical one.

First, perhaps we need sustained ethical awareness and a determination to, at all costs, tread the righteous path while aspiring to achieve.

Everyone preaches but following the same is a big challenge. Only the human being is suspicious even of God’s plan. Irony at its best.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

https://www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Experience

 There is a balanced way to look at everything in life. There are always people who love you and those who care with a motive. As we grow older, we get to experience genuineness or the act. But sometimes your trusting nature blinds you to reality.  And sometimes people change also. And sometimes, we change as well.

We need to accept it all. All the characters have been around you and there is also a reason why they fall away. Whatever the reasons, keep calm and balanced, right your wrongs and accept as inevitable what cannot be changed.

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Truth and Lies

Truth and Lies stood face to face. Truth said there is nothing beyond me. Lies said, I am more liked and more in demand than you.

And so the debate continued. One day, lies asked Truth to join it for a swim. The gullible Truth agreed and jumped into the water. Lies hastily took all its clothes, cloaked itself with those clothes and started going around , pretending to be the truth.

When Truth realized the trick lies had played, it started hiding because it was naked now, without clothes.

And thus it happened that no one wanted the naked Truth anymore and preferred Lies disguised as Truth.

This is exactly the plight of Truth even today. Tell me, who wants to hear it or see it? Wherever it goes, it becomes unpopular.

And, we are living a life inspired by Lies which tells us only what makes us feel good but not what is actually good for us.

But energies are shifting and Lies is gradually losing ground. There is a chapter of Lies that is ending and new light energies are emerging.

In this world, although light and dark are both existent, ultimately, light pervades darkness. Light is eternal and darkness is only a temporary absence of light.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Dharma by Design

 

Spirituality

The best gift to yourself would be blessings from even one person whose life improved because of you.

Why don’t we teach our children these wonderful songs with meanings for life and living? Where you do something genuinely for another without advancing your ego by commissioning the paparazzi/ media to write about that.

Living life on the surface and not connecting with other aspects of God’s creation is just a loss of opportunity to upgrade in the current lifetime.

We have no bandwidth for understanding the reasons we are here. We can stand upside down to project ourselves in the world but with misled values and understanding of the true nature of life.

We need an integrated approach: education first and then efforts with mind, values, intentions, spirituality, inclusion of creation and action.

Yes, our duty is towards self-uplift but the tools are based on our connectivity in this world. We are not here to be exclusive.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari