Energy

Have you tried the concept of “a new me” everyday? Try giving yourself a new name in the morning and remember that you are not your original name for that day. Because with that old name is attached a lot of negative energy and often unsavory memories.

So, try getting clean energy with a new beginning every morning. It really works wonders. It even becomes an exciting game with great benefits.
Surekha Kothari

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Maturity

 

Start your day with a prayer. Make an intention that lasts through the day. Conserve your energy for productive work. Stay away from anything and anyone who creates toxicity in your day.

The most important learning is that no one is indispensable in your world and that you have to create your own little world of peace and happiness. There is plenty around you that can give you both. Maturity and wisdom are the tools. Learning from mistakes is a simultaneous process.

Claim your power and if you have given it away unconsciously or even to undeserving people out of love, reclaim it.

Live in the higher realm of your mind and use your heart wisely.

Decorate each day with your special brand of harmony and joy.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Sense of Humor

 This universe is flooded with light if only we can see this phenomenon.

So, take life lightly, with a pinch of salt. Be light. Be THE light.

Have a sense of humor. First, take yourself lightly. Then, take others lightly. Laugh often and freely. Laugh at yourself. You really have nothing to take or give in this world.

I am learning all this and finding the results really joyful. Yes, often my sense of drama does cause a stir and I am taken seriously / misunderstood even. But it is ok. At the end of the day, if you are not affected, you are ok. After all, who takes the time and effort to know anyone? If we are ourselves acting superficially, how can we ever know the depth of anyone?

So, laugh and keep laughing! Way to go!

Surekha Kothari

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Meditation

 Time is so important! Anything done before or after time loses its value. More important, not valuing people at the right time invariably results in regret, remorse. At one point what seemed the right response was actually not.

So many warnings of being mindful of the right thinking have constantly gone astray or disregarded.

It is true that no one can teach another anything unless there is a willingness to learn AND respect for the teacher. AND an intense desire to learn.

Superficiality comes easy. Depth does not. The latter requires a focus almost like meditation. To remove layer upon layer and go deeper into this mindboggling creation of God.

Surekha Kothari

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Consequences

 I hear now they are busy researching how to add emotions to robots. That IS amusing. Know why? Because humans are not using their own hearts and emotions at all, but ironically, they are feeling a need for emotional exchanges. So they are replicating themselves. Strange!

It’s like keeping dogs and showering all your love there and holding back that love in conflict with human beings. So, giving is natural but the ego doesn’t allow human to human love the way animal lovers shower love unconditionally on their pets.

If a dog bites you, you will look at it with love, even reprimand it lovingly but take the anti-rabies willingly. God forbid if a “close” family / friend were to dare to advise you out of love, you would lose a relationship forever.

Fear of loss rules us and it is the one significant cause for the “sweet nothings” we shower irrespective of the way we feel. AND compromise what we hold very dear if we need those people.

I agree life is an adjustment but to what extent? To the extent that you lose yourself in the bargain? It is indeed a work of great courage to hold your principles and righteousness in place whatever the consequences.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Wisdom

 A very important lesson we were taught very early in life was that rights go hand in hand with duties. What is wisdom all about? In a nutshell, if this above principle is followed, life becomes easier.

 

The sense of duties has blurred today and the entitlement to rights has increased. That imbalance is creating fragmented societies and breakup of the natural family systems. And each one of us is responsible.

When you examine history, there have always been good and not so good phases in a cyclical mode. None of it is real. But for us, it is the only reality. The karmic angle brings souls with different agendas onto this earth, ostensibly either being born into or acquiring relationships. There is a known factor always in our so called unknown factors that unfold during our lives. But we have no memory of this. So when karma triggers, we are shocked, angry, in denial and resort to blame.

That’s why in every religion, God is an anchor to fall back on: an unknown factor that only faith can activate. So, if we are prone to over thinking, this angle is the best to overthink. At least, it propels us along the correct path and makes our journey bearable, bringing in the bliss factor that eludes most of us.

Surekha Kothari

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Journey

 Sometimes in life, we miss the bus in relationships with our superficial assessments of people. There are so many dimensions to every person but perhaps, we lack the depth to appreciate some sterling qualities in the people around us, probably due to our own minds being colored.

Yes, there are souls that are confrontational towards you, whatever you do from your side to appease them. For sure, these are karmic challenges. And perhaps the only way we can tackle such challenges is by removing all rancor inside us and just keep blessing them.

It takes time to understand what is within our control and what is not. Very often, good intentions from our end are unacceptable to others.

It is each one’s personal journey and we really have no control over anything except our own. So, c’est la vie! Walking our own path with awareness and accepting what we cannot change is the only wise thing to do. The universe keeps turning for us, as we tune into its frequency. Things improve as we work on ourselves. And even after that, what we want may not happen. What is meant for us will definitely happen. What comes our way without our asking for it is an act of God.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Memories

 Whenever we go through an unpleasant experience, we tell ourselves” I don’t deserve this”.

Now, with a new perspective, i have started thinking,” why do you think you DON’T deserve this?” Everything is meant to be. We don’t know which karma related issue brought into our lives what we think we don’t deserve.

And this thought takes me along a new line of thought. There is always a reason. Nothing is random in this world.

If we don’t like something, only we have the power to change it. No one else can change anything for us. That’s how it is.

Take charge of your thoughts, your reactions, your mind. Change/ improve habits, do whatever it takes to clear your energies so that you can help others.

Jealousy, hatred, intolerance gets us nowhere except into a bottomless pit.

If you read about the reformers that have walked this earth, you will see that their paths were strewn with thorns laid out by the selfish and the ignorant. But these reformers never practiced hatred… they remained compassionate.

It is the way of the world that if you throw brickbats at people instead of love and compassion, you will start a chain of cause and effects beneficial to no one.

I am amazed by the stories of our apostles, who, in the face of personal adversities, reformed the lives of so many, on the strength of their compassion and teachings, more so, teaching by example.

Buddha transformed a murderer like Angulimala. And this is only one story.

I believe these reformers had the power to extract the venom of misguided thoughts from the minds of people. We all struggle only with our reactionary thoughts and bad memories. We have the power to delete them with a strong and determined intention. Our minds react from our lower selves, to petty incidents because perhaps, the mind has become a vessel polluted by negative reactions again and again over a long period of time. To extricate ourselves from this quagmire requires a super realization of its futility and a strong and consistent determination.

And mind you, we don’t have to ill treat people and hurt them to teach them lessons. We can do so lovingly too. But do we?

And then watch your growth!

Surekha Kothari

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Respect

 Between the mental states of over explaining to please people and attacking people when YOU might be wrong, there is a middle ground.

RESPECT everyone whether, in your eyes, they deserve it or not. Not because of anything else, but because it demonstrates your sterling quality of non judgement.

We need to understand this. Yes, we all have showered our frustrations and anger on others. But we do need to become conscious and change this. For ourselves. Not because of others.

Whatever we change for the better is a win win for us. When we detest people due to their negative qualities, the law of resonance says “look within”. YOU may have something to clean up yourself.

My guru says, detest the negativity, NOT the person. Every soul shows karmic traits and learning to cope with their karmic agenda, so, your role would be to live and let live. If you are close, point out lovingly what they need to work with.

Just as the cane acts as a loving support to a blind man when he crosses the road, love can hold your hand and help you cross over from grief to happiness. If you don’t have enough love, then you need to enhance the love factor within you.

Surekha Kothari

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Achievement

 It strikes me that we are tested with everything we fear in life. To be fearless therefore, is the way to go. That energy can cut away any ropes of debilitation and spurs us on towards achievement.

The timid energy which works under more energetic people can leave you very unfulfilled. Constantly under the control of people and circumstances is the reality of fearful people who face survival issues and a tremendous lack in their lives. Their energy is consumed by those who feed upon their timidity and even sacrifices. They will remain subservient. Their mind perceives many limitations which make them limited and stuck in that groove and unable to move out of that toxic energy.

Worth analyzing!

Surekha Kothari

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Truth

 Why have we arrived at a stage when we hate truthful people? The whole social wheel accepts “sweet lies”, pandering to egos, and people pleasing.

Of course, people pleasing again bans any truth. Some of us can dish it out but are unable to take it. We do not like looking at any dark corners within ourselves; we just want to point out those of others.

It could be conflicts where one is generally responsible for starting them but retaliations pile up to camouflage the intrinsic core of the truth.

Masks, false smiles, saying nice things about each other but talking the opposite behind! No courage there!

Where is the truth in all this? There is a real dearth of real and truthful people because it takes great courage to speak your truth. Because if you do, you definitely stand isolated. However white you may be in the eyes of God, society can paint you black on account of your speech.

Surekha Kothari

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Inner World

 In every nook and corner, there are people indulging in judging and gossip and this is directly proportionate to the insecurities and complexes they carry.

Education, satsang, spiritual studies also don’t help. Basically, even kindness and compassion belongs more in the camp of empaths. As long as we are nowhere near conscious, aware people, we cannot become empaths and there is the block right there.

People would relish advising you without even knowing your side of the story.

Typical! There is a power there: of thinking they know enough to counsel even with a somewhat polluted heart.

It is incredible! Seems like God never gave us an inner world to tackle at all. It’s all about putting others on a weighing scale.

Sometimes, I think someone must do a PhD on this topic.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Silence

 Holding your head high tells people that you are the lead character of your own story. Confidence is liberating from external Validation. Walk tall and create your own space. Don’t shrink into someone else’s world.

Respect starts with you. Don’t give energy to anything negative. People will test your boundaries, try to judge you and control you even, and fail to see your worth. Or it may not suit them to see your worth so, they would try to push you down.

Silence to any external negative stimulus is the apt response. Silence in thought and silence of any reaction.

Owning your own life is the biggest step forward.  Let everything come from within and grow on your own elevating benchmark every day, based on your own increasing wisdom. Learning and growth are products of personal experiences. No one can live your life for you, however supportive they may be.

Surekha Kothari

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Compassion

 You can either look at someone and choose to find it in your heart to blame or criticize. OR, you can use compassion to understand the behavior. But let’s remember that this is the reaction of your mind which is already programmed in a certain way.

It is really a fact that if you suffer, you suffer alone. People might sympathize superficially but to feel someone’s pain is not an attribute with people.

Hence, the recommendation to understand that isolation from people is creating space for God within your energy.

Surekha Kothari

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Confidence

 The web of relationships is intricate and before you know it, your inner peace begins to depend on external validation. Seeking approval to cultivate your own identity becomes vital to your well-being.

Ground your sense of self-worth in your own values, not in the opinion of others. This does not mean you let go of relationships. It only means you respect who you are and your faith in yourself does not get shaken each time someone chooses to disrespect you. Your value for yourself comes from within you.

And external validation also gives others power over you. You need to reclaim that power and keep it with yourself.

Are you living in alignment with your own values and principles? If you are, that is all the confidence you need. All the validation you need.

Your life will get stuck if you don’t actually walk the path. Life will always have challenges but if truth be told, if you take charge of your life, you will be surprised how much you can achieve.

We are so much more than our minds and intellect, our ego and our sub conscious. That one consciousness that watches our lives as witness consciousness is what we need to satisfy. It is the weighing scale that balances us if we are aware of it. Many aren’t, unfortunately.

Living a life replete with self-created toxicity and negativity will just amount to a wasted life where we could have become brilliant versions of ourselves but got stuck in a quagmire in which we became so comfortable that we never thought we should extricate ourselves to find ownership of ourselves.

Overcome your own person rather than someone else, which comes out of thinking others are better. Not true. Self-doubt is a big culprit.

No one really cares as much as you think they do. They are busy dealing with their own challenges, their negativities.

Think! How much have you feared the criticism and judgement of others and have tried to fit into a mould someone else created for you!  

When will you have the courage to pursue something meaningful just for yourself?

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Karmic Cycle

 It is a blessing if we can handle the last phases of our lives with important learning. Life teaches us but we don’t learn or it takes us a long time to learn. But learn we must.

The reason why Vanaprasth and sanyas are advocated is because entering these phases with inquiry enables us to work on the control of our desires . It is desires that remain within our subtle bodies and which return with our next birth through the causal bodies.

To detach is difficult when so much attachment has piled up due to ignorance. To unlearn all of that and to relearn new lessons of surrender to the divine and not to human relationships is not easy at all.

So, after a certain age, during the last phases of this life, it becomes imperative to gradually detach from the causes and effects cycle, and become conscious of the time, space and causation which keeps us coming back here again and again.

Being aware of your karmic cycle is extremely important. Most of our lives are tied to this cycle.

Surekha Kothari

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Growth

 A daily, mindful search for answers can be really worthwhile in your life. And I mean a spiritual search for the truth.

Of course, acceptance of what you cannot change is one aspect of life. But living a depressed life is no answer. We have a higher self, an alter ego so to speak, within us which has a completely different vision of who we are and should be if we are not.

To tap into it, perhaps we need to rise above all environmental influences and all of our own mental aberrations. Also important is getting to your own truth, untainted by what others think about you. Every judgement is shallow and not to be entertained. No one has the complete knowledge or experience of you more than yourself. And even then, we are vast and so much is yet unrevealed. So why deplete your own power and sense of worth?

Every bit is work only on the self. Nothing more, nothing else. And your answers come from within once you have gotten over the phases of anger, denial and bargaining with the self.

It is just like when you are in darkness and out of the blue, a light shines and illuminates everything. 

Meanwhile, keep letting go. Don’t hold on to anything that hampers your growth.

The last few moments of breath before life ends are the most crucial. We have to work towards a clean and detached mind without any pining for any aspect of life, or clutching on.

LET GO!  And keep letting go every minute.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Consequences

 A simple fact which eludes us at the best of times. We are not here to make ourselves comfortable in this world. If that were the case, there would not be a constant fire under us, designed to make us move, even jump.

It is like an obstacle race which is mandatory for all.

Be aware that there are consequences even if we don’t participate.

What we call wisdom is to recognize this fact, enter the race and go by its rules. Like a marathon, it is wisdom to complete it in the right way, with the right rules. Ranking does not matter. And don’t say you did not know the rules!

The tragedy is, we all have a conscience which tells which way to go, but soon, that voice of conscience is silenced by us. And after that, it is anyone’s guess where we will land up.

Surekha Kothari

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Humanity

 It is high time we realized that we are completely responsible for the decadence of our minds. Man against man and woman against woman. All this jargon about it being a man’s world needs to be looked at. Who is responsible?

It starts with parents favoring a boy child. The power that parents in law use to mishandle the woman who leaves her parental home to integrate herself into a non-accepting and even abusive family. Maybe, they know no better. Ignorance is the worst affliction humanity suffers from. In extreme cases, this can result even in suicide later!

This is one side. Now, to the parents of the girl they marry off in a hurry, often into a non-compatible family. And they refuse to support her. She is then left to fend for herself in a hostile environment. We see the atrocities committed on her every day. We love preach that what can’t kill you makes you stronger. Talk to the person who faces abuse!

Look at the evils in society. India is said to be a forerunner in crimes on women, rape and sadism ranking the highest at this time.

Worst of the lot is women against women instead of supporting each other. Petty squabbles, comparisons of all kinds. “Friends” who abuse and so called “friends” who watch friends being abused! Sibling rivalry over looks and property! (by the way, men are equally guilty). Women in women empowerment organizations, politicking with each other and disempowering themselves in the bargain!

In business groups, where women who marry into such “family” owned businesses, where they have no rights once their spouse is no more.

What kind of mind and attitudes are we sporting, that we are completely out of control? Virtues like mutual respect, boundaries among genders, trust, faith are all wiped out and the few who value them are actually the butt of ridicule.

We are busy at parties, get together, speech platforms, spouting words defaming all of this, but WHO is responsible when humans attack humans? Does ANY finger point back with a deep realization? No! Always at others.

We never stop to think that it is each one of us with our polluted personas that contributes to this dirt in the world: the situation that is called Kaliyug.

Look within and clean up. This is the way the energy around you will reflect your environmental cleanliness. People will talk ad nauseum about how it is impossible to reverse the trends of today but no one will start the process of reversing them. We have lost the connection with the divine energy which is all around us but we never tune into that frequency, with terrible and disastrous results.

What kind of a world are we leaving behind for the future generations when humans themselves are incapable of managing the very institutions of humanity, service and justice that they are the custodians of, custodians, I have to say, without caring and compassion for people who depend on them due to their own powerlessness? Custodians who don’t care about fulfilling the mandate they are given and they have committed to verbally and even on paper. Forget the power of the spoken word.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Realization

 They don’t say “old is gold” for nothing! It takes a long time for feelings to percolate down into your heart and only then can you bypass the idiosyncrasies of a person and let them find a place in your heart. It takes a long while and a lot of letting go of the superficial nature to find something deeper.

But once in a while and rarely, you do come across a soul match that was waiting for the right time to come into your life.

When you are down and out, this happens strangely and quite suddenly!

Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, with a realization that nothing is in our control but the one who rules our destinies also is merciful enough to put up with many foolishness’s of his children who are riddled with ignorance and yet, so loved by HIM, giving us innumerable chances to see HIM clearly by doing HIS bidding.

Counting all the blessings every day.

Surekha Kothari

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Perspective

 There is no healing like a free and fair discussion between two people who have had an issue. You should value a relationship enough to keep the bonds going.

Always opt to build a bridge first. There is never any point in being drastic. And always try to see the other point of view. Even if you don’t agree with each other, talk it out, understand that perspectives are different, amicably agree to disagree and close the episode. With a little love and caring, you can do so. This attitude has maturity.

Of course, there is always the usual ego reaction which borders on the breaking of ties. This is rampant but very sad. It need not be.

This world is suffering from a major disconnection. And it is not doing humanity much good. Old ties are breaking and new ones forming. A natural family is getting diluted and friends are being called “extended family”. Isn’t that contradictory, this calling friends “family” when the original family is being torn apart? Ironic!

Our thinking is so topsy turvy, we don’t realize it’s all negative thought inspired by the ego, and nothing else.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Connectivity

 

I think we blame the artificial means of connectivity too much. I think human connectivity has failed to a great extent even before technology took over.

Remember how friendships used to be? Frankness and loyalty and trust were the three vital pillars of a relationship. What happened?

If you feel close to someone and say something you see in them that needs improvement, you will lose the relationship. The ego is intolerant. So much for frankness!

Loyalty? Trust? What’s that? Talking to others about your friends / family is a “normal” thing. Of course, we tell ourselves that we are not being disloyal. We are just sharing our lives to feel good. But does gossip make us “feel good “? If so, we need to examine our mental / emotional state.

We are gradually bringing society to a high superficial level, bringing “friendship” also to a level accumulating around us people who contribute to our egos and who make us feel relevant because somewhere within us, we have a big void.

In a world of social media, when “friends” can shun us because we have not studiously put a “like” to their posts or have not commented on certain posts, are we even qualified to seek friendships? What kind of priorities have we developed and how much “on the surface” are we! Sometimes, when I experience shallowness, I think we are lost in this jungle.

A definition of a relationship has changed many a time but it was never as multi-pronged like a hydra as it is today. The earlier 3 pillared edifices is rare and extremely valuable even if there is one human being in your life
who answers to this 3 pillared definition. You should not let people like that out of sight or your heart. Hold on to them. They are priceless.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Determination

 Inner transformation is the need of the hour. Despite millions of podcasts, self-help books and posts circulated every hour on the hour, this grooming eludes us.

It’s scary to embark on this path though. Takes courage and determination. You have to be prepared for your life of comfort being shaken up, your relationships being churned big time, confusion within the self before clarity, preparation for facing unknown tests that may result in many people falling off your radar and new ones entering. And the courage to face it all with a knowing that there are obstacles to overcome and inner toxins to be removed for ascension.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Generosity

 Everyone is gifted by the Divine. If we can just understand our gifts, we do not need to compare ourselves with anyone. It is when we cannot see ourselves that we feel an imaginary void within us that makes us want to be like someone else, even have what others have. Actually, we have “enough” if only we can KNOW we have enough. And we build on that. This is our responsibility.

I wish I could make each one experience this fact. Generosity and praise for each other just opens up our heart channels and life seems to flow happily if we work on ourselves consistently and simultaneously learn to create happiness in others.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari