Counselling

 

Adversity

 To practice dharmic righteousness in today’s decadent world takes grit, complete conviction, a lot of courage to face adversity and hostility from the world.

The majority of humans would prefer you to be polluted and tainted so that they can identify with you. You remember? They did not even spare Jesus Christ!

Your goodness shows a mirror they don’t want to look into. They would rather try to bring you down to their level or destroy your reputation. 

We suffer for it. It’s not that we are happy with the way we are. I don’t know why then, we don’t try harder to get out of such mindsets and liberate our minds from our own darkness. And atone for what we have done that we are not proud of. Look inwards, not outwards.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Self-Destructive

People find it easier to live amidst past memories. Strange because it is like a pool of a lot of stagnant water of a lot of negative emotions, hurts and anger, all of which are self-consuming and self-destructive.

Why? It is a known territory even if people have to relive suffering! More so when there are negative emotions attached to those memories which smoulder within. How does one forget?

Letting go is difficult also because what is yet to come is unknown. And there is fear of the unknown.

We have a tendency to hold on to crutches which are obviously temporary. When WE are temporary in this world, how can we think anything can be permanent?

A journey is like a flow of events which we must experience as observers only. That is the best training we can give ourselves. The universe is working systematically and with a beautiful flow. We don’t even notice. We only lament about ourselves and what we got/ did not get, deserved/ did not deserve and most importantly, WHY others got more than we did.

If this is our thought process, we deserve then, to suffer.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Emotion

I tell myself all the time. If you are hoarding negativity and are emotionally corrupted at the time, Silence is the only mantra. Otherwise, a mind overflowing with anger, rage, frustration, envy can spill over from your gut in the form of a barrage of words and actions which later, you will not be proud of. And you will have to justify your wrong doing to yourself and others if you spoke in public.

I have yet to see any long term benefits of such speech / actions.

And the worst part of this is, people talk behind your back so, you think you are ok. But can we hide from ourselves?

Right is right even if no one supports you. Wrong is always wrong even if you have a majority with you. That majority will never be a loyal majority. It is better to be isolated for being right.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Pleasure

 I think all of us have faced a situation when we have to choose between the devil and the deep sea. It is amazing just how many pieces of advice come our way, making it even worse for when we are in a quandary.

At such times, even truth becomes blurred and whichever way we go, there is no easy path. Sometimes, choices can be difficult.

But, there is always one of those two paths which in the long run, has salutary effects while the other creates more issues. The condition is, the choices exercised ultimately must have wisdom and courage behind them. Standing your ground with honesty and pure intentions is the only way.

Yes, you will leave many unhappy, disgruntled people around you but that’s okay. The litmus test is NOT creating unintentional displeasure for many but facing your own soul with complete ease.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Determination

 People tell you not to live in the past. But it is natural to relive the beautiful moments in time. The problem starts when we start agonizing about past memories. Why did this happen? Why did that not happen when I wanted it so badly?  etc.

We are actually becoming toxic for ourselves and totally irrational. The past is all GONE and done with! When it was your present, perhaps you did not show mindfulness and reacted with pain and suffering. It is difficult for sure.

When you travel on a muddy road and look back, you can see a cloud of dust left behind by the forward movement of the car. THAT is where the dust from our memories needs to remain. Behind us! Why do we wantonly bring back painful times when they have no existence except in our stubborn minds?

Move on. The road ahead promises many happy tines, many opportunities for growth. The road ahead spins hope on our paths, a promise of better things to come if our attitude remains one of positivity and spiritual connectivity.

Many people tell me, it is so easy to talk but so difficult to do! Well, yes. It is not easy but not impossible either. If you pursue anything with courage, determination, clarity and consistency, success has to be yours.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Experiences

Unhappy people around you will try to target you with disrespectful speech and actions. We have to understand that their toxicity is exposed in this manner. It is their compulsion to empty it out to survive and often, you become the recipient of their offload.

Everything ultimately depends on towards what you have directed your own energies. Do you take such incidents seriously? If so, be prepared to let your mind get toxic with retaliatory reactions. But if you understand that it has nothing to do with you and withdrawing your energies from such people is the best way, you emerge the winner.

Keeping and maintaining a standard for yourself keeps you away from such undesirable experiences. So direct your energies very carefully. You may be the right person amidst the wrong people.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Liberate

 Life is one big movie within the theatre of this world. We laugh, we cry, we suffer endlessly and unnecessarily if I might add the last word. At some point you learn to extricate yourself and watch this movie unfolding and are able to laugh at it!

Is anything permanent that we live attaching ourselves to it? You see people “close” to you moving away and you see some coming closer for whatever reasons. You see people judging you, smirking while some actually and grudgingly respect you even. However, our insecurities or otherwise, are generally the cause of how we shape our world. And this has little to do with others.

You will always find beauty in a stand-alone form because it seems to stand tall against a backdrop even of chaos. There is a sense of “belonging” to the supreme power which is the only support all creation has on a permanent basis. The cycle of the death of the old and the beginning of the new is a perpetual in the universe. The pattern is undeniable and unquestionable: the “tower” in the tarot cards, I think.

There is a steady stream of wisdom running before us, wisdom that when practiced, gives us a sense of realization of our intrinsic existence as “existence, consciousness, bliss”. It is the most liberating realization and one each one of us should strive towards.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Human Effort

 If we knew we were here only to sort out our karmic balance sheet from other lives, we would live our lives differently. If we understood that there are no villains, only teachers, we would work for purify our inner worlds.

If only we became aware much earlier in life that many episodes from past lives are triggered through our experiences, there would be no grief, no suffering.

The cause and effect, action and consequence reality while we live in this world can be understood and even overcome with the use of our analytical mind. The perfect solution is not sinking but swimming out of situations, and neutralizing the effects of karma by healing them.  

Human effort is imminent. It is pointless to convince ourselves that external stimuli are responsible. Yes, they are only because they trigger something deep that lies within us. That’s all the role they play.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Spiritual Knowledge

 The energy shift in the universe is taking some of us into a definite transition mode. Analyzing and understanding what is happening within us gives us a clear indication of a huge inner shift that has emerged from our constant response to earthly experiences and our constant seeking of spiritual knowledge. And over many lifetimes as well.

Learning is inevitable but the attitude (of humility and willingness to learn and grow) triggers our progress (or otherwise) majorly.

In our ego state, we tend to overanalyze without trusting the universal process. That definitely clouds the areas of the mind that should remain clear to receive messages from the universe.

The miracles come in the form of receiving relevant messages from everywhere, from people who get drawn to a balanced aura, angel numbers seen frequently, answers coming from within without a struggle, strangers coming out of nowhere and holding your hand, helping you in your hour of need. But, we need to see and feel this. We have to be tuned into God’s vibration AND surrender from within. AND we have to TRUST the divine energy.

You know the story of the man who was drowning in the floods? He prayed fervently to god for help. When a boat came his way, he refused to get on. He saw a tree but refused to climb it. Then a helicopter came to his aid but again, he refused saying god will help him.

Ultimately he drowned, and when he saw god, he complained and said he had lost all trust in prayers. God smiled at his foolishness and said, “I sent you help three times but you did not accept it”. Such is our inability to trust our prayers and god.

Focus just as a horse on its path with blinkers on. We tend to spread ourselves very thin by looking around for short term gains. Ironical, isn’t it, to look for short term gains in a temporary world where nothing material is going to remain anyway. We excel at grasping at straws.

Also, humans don’t generally possess bones of satisfaction

Within them. How much is enough before you start preparing for the other world you will be entering, considering that your leaving this world was secured the day you were born?

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Wisdom

 There is no time. Procrastination is not a wise choice. Life unfolds in very unexpected ways. Do what you wanted to do tomorrow, today. Of course, if it is important enough to you.

I have seen too many people suffering with guilt and regret. I have seem them acting out of impulse and not wisdom, from ego more than compassion.

We don’t know the truth and so, act out of sheer ignorance, attached to our negative personality and unable to let it go.

There need not be a tomorrow for all we know. There may not be a chance to right our wrongs. There may not be an opportunity to pick up the pieces we walk on.

So, find your inner silence. Find your clarity of thought. Allow transformation and find divine grace within.

Souls in the form of family and friends, associates are all there for a purpose connected with your salvation. Embrace the lessons they teach.

Ultimately, you will have to let everything and everyone go.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Self-Absorption

 Sometimes, feelings from the heart cannot find a way to come to the tongue as words. Sometimes, it is simpler to give way to tears that no one can see. The heart can cry more easily than speak of what it goes through.

And if you notice, no one cares to listen anyway. You are alone with your grief.

And this is where understanding dawns that human frailty translates more into self-absorption. Everyone is trying to find answers to overcome that grief and find peace. Of course, in doing so, their process of trial and error can affect those around them too. That is karma. You can’t fight it. Lives are intertwined and the action of one can have consequences on many.

It is not for nothing, therefore, that we need our ignorance superimposed by knowledge. Much awareness of life and ourselves is required. Only when that light illuminates within us will we understand the full implications of the Buddhist saying that suffering is self-inflicted.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Discipline

Have you ever noticed that our stories write themselves? We think WE are writing them. Just watch with awareness how your days unfold. How many plans you make and how many actually fructify! Life has a definite flow. And if we try to break the flow, somewhere, we suffer. I call it trying to interfere with God’s plan for us.

Just look at the discipline and harmony in nature! Everything works like clockwork and seems automatic. God’s wonderful creation!

But we forget that so are WE God’s creation. Only, not so wonderful after all, considering the havoc we have caused just because of the extra gifts we have: a developed brain, choices and free will and a massive ego we have turned into obsessiveness and narcissism. Conflict at the cost of harmony and peace. What are we doing with these marvelous gifts? Abusing them big time? We live in a world of illusions, called Maya, but the veil of Maya has blinded us! Reality eludes us. We are like rudderless ships that have no anchor. Our illusory power stems from complete ignorance of who we are!

It is evident that we are out to destroy ourselves every day because we lack humility and the spiritual knowledge that actually binds us all with a thick cord of connectivity. Which we don’t choose to see.

It is evident that our connectivity with the Divine has been lost. Otherwise, we would not destroy human beings for land acquisition, for gaining supremacy and power, build walls of hate where only complete annihilation of those we hate will satisfy insecure and sadistic minds.

For how long? “Enough “ is far away.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Pleasant

 It doesn’t matter! This is for those who live on past memories, good, bad and ugly. Can you hold a bubble in your hand permanently? Obviously not! Past memories are like bubbles, experienced and gone!

We label them based on our likes, dislikes and prejudices. But the fact is , we harbor them. We compare the good ones with the bad ones and feel sorry for ourselves while visiting the ones we have not found to be pleasant.

So, what is the core issues here? Just that we have not moved on. We haven’t been able to let go.

So, who has invited unnecessary suffering? No one else. Only WE do this to ourselves. It is a little like getting angry towards an episode outside on the street when it has nothing to do with us.

Think about it?!

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Consquences

Pain is an inevitable part of life, the outcome of challenges and often unpalatable experiences. We tend to internalize it and react to it. The resistance to it is what brings suffering.

What works is accepting situations and letting the pain out with an understanding that it is all an essential part of the flow and of our growth.

A river collects stones, dried leaves, sticks and all kinds of pollution that it picks up along its course, but still weaves its way around them to reach the ocean. Similarly, we need to recognize that just as a river does not go against its flow, all creation also has a natural progression. The course has been chartered for us but we either don’t see it or are in denial. And very foolish in our ignorance. Even more so because we see only short term benefits, failing to see the long term implications of those short term benefits. Never forget that the wheel of our lives keeps turning.

Unfortunately, man is the only creature that defies the natural laws, with undesirable consequences for the whole world, as we see this happening more and more in current times.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Self-Seeking

 I really feel very strongly that humans are so needy all the time that the societies have, over the years, declined into “contacts” for self fulfilment, without trust but with plenty of suspicion. We never needed to play games earlier. We said it as it was. We never left room for doubt. And the result was uplifting. Trust laden with respect and affection even.

Truth was the first principle taught and lies were punished. These lessons were never forgotten by some of us. I agree compromises are a necessary part of life. But I do have a quarrel with the polluted intentions with which we compromise today.

Intention us everything as I see it. Some of us have become so self-seeking that we have even stopped feeling guilty about what we say and do.

We might excuse ourselves for the small lies but it does not get condoned in the eyes of the divine energy. It should prick us but it doesn’t! Sadly! So, we really don’t know the value of honoring ourselves., of respecting ourselves. Yes, it is a tough path today, when truth gets disembodied all the time. But the good news is, you do start connecting with the purest divine energy and unexpected things begin to happen in your life.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Silence

There are daily stimuli and our responses to them. But we seldom have the awareness of that minuscule pause between them. That pause goes unnoticed because of our lack of awareness. And therefore, that pause which is actually there for us to respond with thought and wisdom becomes a reaction. Only because the ego just flies in to that pause and takes over to change our would have been response to a hasty reaction.

Naturally, if an object comes hurtling towards you, you will instinctively change course to avoid it. But when it comes to a stimulus coming from objects of our dislike, we retaliate instead of changing course at that time. We prefer a collision, a clash also, more than our peace.

This is really strange when we think of it. Two responses to similar stimuli.

People think silence is weakness but it can be the most powerful tool in our evolution. We don’t have to respond each time. Silence works very well. It gives clarity to our thoughts so much so that when we act, it becomes an act of wisdom.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Sense of Humor

 I have learnt two very important things in life.

1. Cultivate a sense of humor

2. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Generally, we take others very seriously because we take ourselves too seriously. Laugh at yourself and nothing will seem hurtful. You know nothing remains the same anyway. Not even you. So, why agonize ?? Just makes no sense to me anymore.

People are whimsical. So should you be so? Not necessarily. A Smile and a laugh are the most sensible therapies in this world. They keep you light and unburdened. And sane. Everyone should move on and keep moving.

The old usage was “take everything with a pinch of salt”. But salt retains water in the body and can cause high Blood Pressure too. Whereas, a smile and a laugh brighten your face and your days. And keep you healthy and hopefully, wise too. So, never lose your sense of humor and Every time you start to feel seriousness coming on, put on your laughing cap. Believe me, it is far better than a thinking cap sometimes.

Fill your life with happy moments. And keep Increasing such moments.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Recognize

The law of resonance is the simplest law to understand and if practiced, can turn your life around and bring it into a happy mode.

Just do not react to negativity in anyone. And this can only happen if you yourself are a positive person. As long as you are reacting to people, you too, definitely have some of that negativity within you.

The state of not being swayed is when you come into your own and stop resonating with anyone’s negativity because you are no longer recognizing it within yourself. It is pretty amazing how liberated you feel when you reach that state.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Counselling

 

Silence

Sometimes, over a period of time, you continue to see so much crap happening around you and in the world, that you reach a state of silence! There is so much to say that ultimately, there is nothing left to say. Speechless state!

I guess the mind has agonized and agonized, dissected and bisected a million times over and finally come to zilch. And that state of meaninglessness is actually the beginning of a new life within this life.

You care and care and care so much that one day, you have burnt your energies and your stamina to arrive at a state of exhaustion.

And then you pick yourself up to start living again and protecting yourself this time over.

It is constant learning. From reactions to anger to denial, bargaining with the self and finally acceptance of what you cannot change. So then, change starts from within. The start of a meaningful journey!

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Knowledge

There is a reason why God isolates you. When the few crutches you thought you had also stop working. It is a tough call because we have not learnt the art of isolation. We are so dependent and so unobtrusively so, right from birth.

For some time, you tend to flounder as in deep waters without knowing how to swim. And then, if you are not sinking, you learn to keep afloat at least. That is the first step towards exploring God. The connection gets established only after you experience feeling lost.

The emotion of feeling lonely is a temporary ignorance of the mind. It is actually a state of discovery that we are all in the same boat : ALONE. We come alone and we go alone. It is in between these two that we mess ourselves up until, hopefully, we learn better.

All these facts are so simple really!  We even know this at the back of our minds, don’t we? Then why does the mind not accept this?

If we think about it all, reflection would bring in some knowledge. And once we know, we would find it easier to stay on course.

Defiance and anger regress us. Acceptance and finding positive solutions propels us forward.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari 

Acceptance

 There is a reason why God isolates you. When the few crutches you thought you had, also stop working. It is a tough call because we have not learnt the art of isolation. We are so dependent and so unobtrusively so, right from birth.

For sometime, you tend to flounder as in deep waters without knowing how to swim. And then, if you are not sinking, you learn to keep afloat at least. That is the first step towards exploring God. The connection gets established only after you experience feeling lost.

The emotion of feeling lonely is a temporary ignorance of the mind. It is actually a state of discovery that we are all in the same boat: ALONE. We come alone and we go alone. It is in between these two that we mess ourselves up until, hopefully, we learn better.

All these facts are so simple really! We even know this at the back of our minds, don’t we? Then why does the mind not accept this?

If we think about it all, reflection would bring in some knowledge. And once we know, we would find it easier to stay on course.

Defiance and anger regress us. Acceptance and finding positive solutions propels us forward.

Surekha Kothari

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www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Respect

Popularly said you need to earn respect. Sometimes, making the effort to earn someone’s respect, you end up earning loneliness.

All these sayings are often superficial. They sound good and intellectual when you mouth them in a group. Sounds very impressive.

But really speaking, you have to change your whole personality to earn that respect. Don’t you see? For the simple reason that you cannot be anyone but yourself.

The world is filled with conditions.

If you do this, only then will I respect you…

If you do this, only then will I believe you etc…

And the most important fact: you are probably not sure of your qualities that are respect worthy, often, because they have not been appreciated. YOU have not been respected. Which also means, you doubt your ability to respect yourself. That you lack self-awareness.

I have seen people put down people constantly, mostly so that they can feel good or superior or whatever the reasons.

But the most important thing is, if you respect yourself, why do you need respect from others? External Validation?

You need to be known for who you are and there will always be people who respect you for who you are. We however, look for respect in the eyes of particular people who don’t necessarily have clean hearts towards us. Absolutely no need! There will be myopic people in all our lives who will deprive you of your energy, citing some examples about some fault they find in you. Even exaggerating the issue to tear you down emotionally and otherwise.

But then, it is a case of one finger at you and three back at them.  So let us please preserve our self-esteem at all costs. It is important in the journey of life. And we can be a better version of ourselves with constant awareness and efforts. Yes, sincere people’s opinions do point out to what we need to improve in ourselves. But there is really no need to let it corrode our confidence levels and positivity. Anyway, low self-esteem

Levels are highly damaging and highly avoidable. They can lead to multifarious issues, like a hydra.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari 

Consequences

We do many things during the day. Some are planned and some just come along on the spur of the moment.

But examine them and ask yourself, how many were done for others and how many for yourself? It is really interesting to see what you discover about yourself.

We are often judged by what we do not do to fulfil expectations which are not ours. And to placate and pacify and satisfy others, how much we compromise on our own energies.

But when you reach a point of balance and understand that everything you do has a consequence not in your control entirely, but your intentions have been clear, then you will begin to take steps towards what you feel fulfilled with and for which you don’t mind being misjudged by those who actually feel better if they bend you to their will.

And that is rampant all over, within human beings. Within the mental aberrations of humans, we have to achieve our mental balance. If you feel you are doing right by you, more often than not, people also understand this.

We need to keep to our path. Yes, it may be fraught with some discomfort but it is all better for you in the long run.

Surekha Kothari

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Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Saturation Point

 All these years, having been in denial and argued and vented, finally, truth has dawned! Everything happens for a reason. Everything was meant to be. We thought we were taking the decisions but, was it so? Really? Were our reactions valid then?

Actually, what is meant to stay, stays. And what is meant to get over, just gets over. WE reach a saturation point in a lot of the cases. And in some, the choice is not ours.

And yet, all our lives, we fight and stress, and refuse to let go to move forward. We forget that karma is at work constantly. Our debts call out . Also our credits are interspersed with those debts we must pay. When we experience the joy of good karma, we forget easily. What remains and sustains is the unpleasant memories.

As the wise have wisely said, cut thoughts. Cut memories. They are the source of all the attachment and egos at play in our lives. And when there are no thoughts, it is automatic surrender to a higher power. This is the ultimate in our journey, isn’t it?

Surekha Kothari

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www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Journey

 All these years, having been in denial and argued and vented, finally, truth has dawned! Everything happens for a reason. Everything was meant to be. We thought we were taking the decisions but, was it so? Really? Were our reactions valid then?

Actually, what is meant to stay, stays. And what is meant to get over, just gets over. WE reach a saturation point in a lot of the cases. And in some, the choice is not ours.

And yet, all our lives, we fight and stress, and refuse to let go to move forward. We forget that karma is at work constantly. Our debts call out. Also our credits are interspersed with those debts we must pay. When we experience the joy of good karma, we forget easily. What remains and sustains is the unpleasant memories.

As the wise have wisely said, cut thoughts. Cut memories. They are the source of all the attachment and egos at play in our lives. And when there are no thoughts, it is automatic surrender to a higher power. This is the ultimate in our journey, isn’t it?

Surekha Kothari

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.instagram.com/author_surekhakothari/

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari