Thursday, 28 December 2023
Wednesday, 27 December 2023
Tuesday, 26 December 2023
Rejuvenate
Humankind has desensitized itself
in a big way, in order to survive . It is time to reverse this condition, in
the wake of so much avoidable stress and misery.
Apart from the natural disasters
and unexpected happenings in our lives, we are also bringing misery to each
other. Mind you, we are not escaping it either! We are all a part and parcel of
each other, living within the same space, breathing the same air, having the same
emotions…. Whatever we ARE doing is therefore, coming back to each one of us.
Just as we come together during
natural calamities to help each other, conditions today are as bad as a
calamity … and WE are responsible.
So, now, the onus is ours to
clean up our acts and help the universe to get back into its original nature.
We have vitiated the world enough , haven’t we ?
We need to throw out
unceremoniously, everything that is against the will of God. And we know what
these ingredients are. What is left is to acknowledge our roles in the
pollution today and refashion our roles to rise and make this world a better
place.
Restore! Rejuvenate! Respect!
Become sensitive to even a pin
drop. We need to!
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Sunday, 24 December 2023
Forgiveness
Please don’t hate family and don’t practice enmity either. There is a karmic reason for being together. There may be unfinished business from other lives that needs healing. That is why we have been given a chance by the universe to be related by blood. Healing is what we must do, not by distancing but with love and forgiveness.
There is always goodness in
everyone. We just fail to connect with it , both in ourselves AND in others. If
there was no goodness, we would not be connecting with anyone.
When we put friends above family,
we forget that those very friends have issues with their own families. Then why
do we find it in our hearts to shun family and make “friends” outside?
Growing up, we had our siblings
and cousins as friends. Today, there are distances. Very unfortunate that our
egos are more separatist today !
Let us try and rethink our
relationships, especially with regard to where we have failed in wisdom.
Because where there is love and forgiveness, there is always wisdom.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Wednesday, 20 December 2023
Tuesday, 19 December 2023
Fear of Failure
It is said that humans don’t use
more than 5 percent of their brains. But, I wonder if we even use our full potential!
Do we give ourselves the opportunity of exploring what is within us….?? And we
are vast! There is so much talent and capability within us!
And yet, instead of becoming
adventurous enough to attempt new activities, we look at others and find
ourselves lacking in that spirit which others might have.
Fear rules us for one. The fear
of failure! Well, by failing, we learn. With failure, we better ourselves. With
failure, we change our ways when something does not work.
Moreover, the emotions inherent
within failure are also closely related to “what will people say if I fail!”
Losing face! This is a big deterrent and such a futile one! Yes, it is possible
that you might be discussed but when you actually succeed, how many are really
happy for you? Right? Success and failure are YOURS! Nothing to do with anyone else!
We have one life to learn from
And make the most of! Take a
chance with life!
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Sunday, 17 December 2023
Tuesday, 12 December 2023
Fact of Life
In our generation, parents were
parents first. The friendship angle came only after enough and more respect and
obedience were given to them. Defying them and their teachings were a tad
difficult and often, impossible. But we grew up just fine, in fact, with an
enquiring but aware mind which assessed the value systems we were taught and
found them to aid the human touch that makes us human beings of some calibre.
With the onset of insular
families, parents gradually started feeling the need to compensate for the lack
of senior members of the family that were distanced. So, they felt the need to
become friends.
Naturally, all formality had to
be dispensed and conversation had to be tweaked to suggest a reduction of the
age gap. Simultaneously then, the respect between child and parent also
reduced. And soon, parents found their wisdom falling on deaf ears.
There is nothing black or white
in life. But, this informality and right to be friends removes a very essential
barrier between the teachers and the taught. All filters are removed and
children unknowingly start to disrespect the wisdom of their parents,
sometimes, even teachers. Consequentially, the conflict between the two
increases and becomes a fact of life.
Of course, there is love. How can
there not be? But it recedes into the background in the wake of such conflicts
that arise from egos and the inability to re-introduce the boundary lines which
have been blurred considerably and crossed many times.
I think the quest to teach
generations the old Indian model of relationships based on love and respect
must made a reality in no uncertain terms. That environment itself has been
missing since a very long time. And the concept of “independence” is now based
on the all-consuming right to deny / disobey all advice that is not palatable
even if it is wise.
How do you infuse the right blend
of respect and friendship? The right and effective balance for a harmonious
family life?
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Sunday, 10 December 2023
Universe
We need to have a fair sense of
right and wrong which applies universally, irrespective of our relationships.
It starts first with each one of
us. And when we apply it to ourselves, then we don’t need to look at others.
Being blind and forgoing this sense of right and wrong when it comes to
People we love is our own
pollution of the mind.
Don’t let yourself off the hook
for anything you have done wrong. Use fair play and you will find yourself
becoming confident in your righteousness.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Thursday, 30 November 2023
Wednesday, 29 November 2023
Tuesday, 28 November 2023
Consequences
We humans are strange! We are
quick to acknowledge our good deeds and love praise. But when we are wrong, we
shy away from admitting it. And if we do reach that stage, why?
Human tendencies work both ways,
for the right and wrong. And so, we have a choice. always. And the only time we
should exercise an unpalatable choice, it is for the larger good. Not for
self-interest.
It is not difficult to keep away
from wrongdoing, something we cannot be proud of! Yet, we keep doing it.
Why does it at all???
Puzzles me! Because it is visible
to most! And has consequences too.
Cleaning up our act is the best
way to go. This way, you appease your conscience. Nothing else should matter.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Monday, 27 November 2023
Sunday, 26 November 2023
Realize
Never seek your identity in anyone. We are all unique souls.
So, don’t love yourselves only
because someone else loves you.
And don’t realize your self-worth
only when someone else praises you.
Can anyone really know you as you
know yourself?
Assess and build up your
strengths as you go along. For, you come alone and you go alone.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Wednesday, 22 November 2023
Wednesday, 8 November 2023
Growth
Something to think about! Every
negative emotion can be used positively for personal growth. Every challenge
facing us contributes to a certain fear / anxiety / doubts. whether we should
take it up, whether we will succeed, whether to play safe and not take it up?
If you give up before you try,
you have failed already. But if you face your fears and anxiety but take up the
challenge anyways, you will find yourself becoming more aware of the process
required for success. This very awareness of incorporating features that you
require to accomplish a task is the major contributor to your growth.
So, if your goal is personal
growth as it should be for us all, then your courage should kick in each time
that you shirk a task because of self-doubt.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Monday, 30 October 2023
Cleansing
Whatever you recognize in others
is present in you. So, always look within and see how much is reflected within
you. This is the simplest way of self-assessment and way towards personal
cleansing.
There is a reason why it is said
that when you point a finger outwards, three-point back at you.
Each time you judge others, you
are actually judging yourself. Each time you criticize someone, you are
actually aware of that very element within you.
If you hurt someone, it comes
back to you….
All this is due to our
connectivity with everything. We are all reflections of each other. This
awareness can accelerate our cleansing manifold.
It is all so simple but we
complicate it!
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Thursday, 19 October 2023
Wednesday, 18 October 2023
Self-Preservation
We are very quick to remove the
garbage from our homes and fill our homes with aromas and fresheners. Because
we feel good.
But come to our minds and we see
a different picture. There is plenty of garbage there, unwanted thoughts,
reactions and hurts, some of which may be totally self-created! THAT baggage
remains as “impressions” or self-inflicted torture in our minds. And we just
cannot let it go. Wearing perfumes does not help.
A very wise person told me, there
is a switch inside us which, when flicked, off loads this baggage in a jiffy!
It just requires personal consent and a tendency towards self-preservation.
Why do we allow anything or
anyone to press our buttons? Just get rid of those buttons themselves and you
are through!!!
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Monday, 16 October 2023
Inner world
Brooding and overthinking has to be replaced by conscious thought. Only then can we progress in our quest for meditation to improve our minds and move towards discovering our inner worlds.
Let thoughts come and go. Let
relationships come and go. If we can just watch these without either getting
involved in them, reacting or forcing them, they will follow a natural pattern
and leave us.
Total awareness should be
experienced as it is, totally! We cannot let US displace its energy. It is like
a butterfly sitting on our shoulders while we let it, without moving.
Stillness of our being is the
answer. For everything. Daily occurrences are like the waves that come and go. We,
the ocean, are still. If we let go of the waves, we are simply the ocean.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Sunday, 15 October 2023
Friday, 13 October 2023
Wednesday, 11 October 2023
Tuesday, 10 October 2023
Blossom of Life
Living life on your own terms is
great. Only If you don’t become callous as a person. How you live your life is
of least concern to strangers because their lives are not connecting with yours
in any way.
But you ARE responsible to the
family and friends you are connected to. And here, your terms of life must
incorporate them. Because this is your karmic group that is there for you as a
teacher, friend, even adversary, for you to learn how to navigate life in a
balanced way. And to remove the blocks that hinder your higher progress.
If only we could understand this,
we would see the blossoming of life around us.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Monday, 9 October 2023
Sunday, 8 October 2023
Happiness
I strongly believe that if you
care for a relationship, never hold up your ego between yourselves. Many a
time, it has happened that each ego front makes it more and more difficult to
bridge the distances created. Especially when you realize you were wrong. Your
feet become like lead and the same ego won’t allow you to throw down your defenses
and acknowledge your mistakes. And there can be a point of no return coming up
in valuable relationships.
I do believe that if someone
cares, they should be able to indulge in frank speak without getting
guillotined for it. Strong bonds will not break with this. In fact, they will
be strengthened.
So, leave ego out and save relationships
and enjoy the happiness that such bonds bring you.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Friday, 6 October 2023
Wednesday, 4 October 2023
Tuesday, 3 October 2023
Personal Reflection
In relationships, how much are
you doing merely for show and how much you really do with genuine feeling
should be analyzed. We are in the habit of fooling ourselves!
And often we genuinely also
believe that we are doing things for the right reasons! But really speaking, we
all like to believe this about ourselves. It can be far from the truth.
Virtue is not partial. It is
universal. We cannot call ourselves virtuous if this only shows up sometimes.
It is so easy to blame others
based on the past. We all do this… keep hardcore memory about what was done
years back. We tend to forget all the good that we also saw in people years
ago. No memory there! Only blame continues.
Anyways, the onus is on us
ultimately. We can believe in humans or malign them. Or we can mend fences and
build bridges without judgement and while giving chances to some valuable
relationships gone wrong due to expectations and blame, misunderstanding and
negativity.
… and before we start accusing
anyone, there are no exceptions to imperfect humans. Let us not be under any
illusions that one is better or worse. Because if we have changed for the
better in some aspects, we still have work to do on many other aspects. So, to
keep any form of ego would be a mistake.
If all aspects evolve, we would
all be Buddha. But, with a little change, we become more egoistic than humble
and detached like Buddha.
Immediately, we start comparing
with the others who might appear less evolved.
This is why each one has to look
within and bare our misdeeds to ourselves so that we can accept the complicated
thought processes we carry in terms of our fabricated psyches. They don’t have
much to do with our reality.
But yes, real change happens only
with pure awareness, acceptance and personal reflection.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Sunday, 1 October 2023
Art of living
The only way that these days, one
can retain relationships is being perfect in the presence of people and NO
weakness must show. Want to cry? Go to the restroom, sob to your heart’s
content and paste the perfect smile on that face before venturing back into the
crowds. In short, bottle up! And then we wonder why there are increasing cases
or depression, even cancer!!!
Ultimately, it is all about
contacts and group activities. If you are desperate to belong, well, you have
to pay the price.
Especially if someone treats you badly,
giving it back “sweetly” denotes the art of living well. After all, suffering
is self-inflicted, isn’t it? Who asked anyone to so sensitive to callousness
and insults? A rhino Hyde required, please!!! Or otherwise, sit in loneliness.
For you will be shunned!
The art of living in this world
is perceived this way. If Sri is trying to teach you another form of this art,
then will it penetrate a trained thick Hyde steeped in the material World?
With so much pettiness, self-seeking
and value less existence, a large part of the world may still be insensitive to
abuse and knows how to return negativity with cloaked negativity. The question
is, which form of the Art of living do we subscribe to? Because both seem to “work”
for different purposes.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Friday, 29 September 2023
Thursday, 28 September 2023
Truth
Absolute, untainted truth is
almost always unacceptable to the average human mind. It is like wearing
sunglasses to protect your eyes against the sun. Stark reality is like the
blazing sun.
This is why we find sugar coated
living bearable and even motivating. The fear of discovering who we really are
rules our lives. We don’t want to go there. There is an unconscious denial to
turn inwards.
Our comfort levels lie in overt,
sometimes superficial gregariousness, almost to divert our minds from our
intrinsic nature and our inability to isolate ourselves to find ourselves. For,
meditation is nothing but that. To eliminate the thought that works as a veil
between the divine and you. In other words, thoughts become an impediment
because they immediately combine with senses and pollute the mind which,
actually, needs to be purified to make headway into the spiritual realm.
All our lives, we exist like
this, until the end of our lives.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
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