Wednesday, 30 December 2020
Life happens
Life happens. Whether you sit back or
whether you move. I often think it is like holding out two fingers like we did
as kids, and asking someone to choose one. If you choose the one on the right,
this will happen. And if you choose the left one, then that will happen.
But we seldom let something happen. We are
pushing or pulling in one direction or another most of the time because our
wants are so many.
Only when you sit back and become an
observer, the unexpected begins to happen. Give it a chance and interesting
things can happen.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Monday, 28 December 2020
Conversations
As you age with experiences, now on an
emotional high and on a low the next minute, with all kinds of upheaval and
painful learning, there comes a time when everything levels out and you just
count your blessings every day. And everything is a bonus, either to make you
happy or teach you lessons.
I guess negativity is so exhaustingly
futile that this realization is enough to shun it. Whether you allowed it
through people or situations, it never helped, only hindered, most importantly,
your personal growth.
So, these days, one is left talking to oneself
about these things if not to God. My conversations with God are on the
increase. Nice to know you have a friend you can talk to about just about
everything and who knows you so well. Answers come from within when you
genuinely ask. Quite amazing!
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Wednesday, 23 December 2020
Wednesday, 16 December 2020
Love and Attention
Loved ones weaken your strength
sometimes. How much of that feeling is
love and how much attachment is vital to your well being. “Moha” which is
attachment is considered a human affliction because it borders on ignorance of
our spirituality. Attachment is limited to our time on the earth and makes us
needy and dependent. On people, on material Possessions etc. Even on getting love and attention. Crutches!
It pays to get stronger with every realization
of being attached or it will keep us rooted while others move on.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Monday, 14 December 2020
Sunday, 13 December 2020
Simplicity
Simplicity is not a weakness. It is
strength, especially in modern times because it requires honesty and courage to
be simple. Not only that, polluted minds feel threatened because courage is
high vibration which has a different energy.
The advantage of being simple is a free
mind, a mind that can engage in creativity instead of worrying about trivial
matters. Life is a gift and we need to use it well.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Wednesday, 9 December 2020
Economy of words
I have noticed that people who respect
themselves are generally very dependable. And being dependable is a sterling
quality that spells commitment AND fulfilling verbal promises.
Today, it is the one thing to say things
for effect. Like, “I would love to see you sometime” or, “I will call you
tomorrow”. I would say, don’t say it because no one is waiting for you say
these things. And if they take your words seriously, you may lose their trust.
Gradually, no one will believe you.
If we respect ourselves, we would exercise
economy of words. Not say what we don’t really mean but be sincere in general.
Truth matters. Simplicity matters.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Tuesday, 8 December 2020
Tuesday, 1 December 2020
Tuesday, 24 November 2020
Friday, 20 November 2020
Principles of life
We don’t have to worry about how others see
us. We do need to be aware of what we are doing with our understanding of life
and people. With a great deal of the pain involved in unlearning and relearning
the principles of life that work for us, we also learn to break stereotypes.
We try to create mathematical equations in
relationships and roles. But, they can’t be as precise as “if it’s Tuesday, it
must be Belgium”. The bonds must be felt from within. No more, no less is this
truth. Yes, there is pain when love and caring are not understood and not
reciprocated in the same way. But, the bottom line is to feel that bond and
retain it. Even if people don’t give you time, your love must be intact. Just
bless and let it go. If it comes back to you, it is a bonus. Otherwise, we are
alone anyway. How does it matter as long as we follow a path of goodness?
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Tuesday, 17 November 2020
Spiritual path
To come to a balance in life takes a lot
... a huge lot. How many afflictions do we have to overcome! And how much wisdom we have to cultivate out
of very painful experiences. Who says life is easy? It is easier to take it as
easily as we are able to. But it is not easy.
If you embark on a spiritual path, you will
find many more thorns strewn in your path. The higher you aim for the more
painful your journey.
And then, you see some measure of balance
coming in slowly and sporadically. And you become stronger and more resilient.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Monday, 16 November 2020
Sunday, 15 November 2020
External energy
Whatever or whoever WE give energy to be
bound to become powerful. It could be an episode, a person anything. It could
be just a thought that we might dwell on, especially a negative one or a
positive one even. Both take on energy of their own and often, the negatives
become a disturbing element in our lives.
For this reason, we are taught to give space
and keep to our own space a simple matter of keeping our energies intact. If we
are disturbed, for sure we have debilitated ourselves by transferring energy of
our own outside of us.
“Letting go” simply means sending the
negative energy back to where it belongs and regaining our strength. When we
hoard external energies through thoughts and emotions is when we create
imbalances within us. This awareness will help us to keep returning to equilibrium.
So, everything starts with us, and what
form it takes may sometimes, not be within our control. Like a raging forest
fire, it might destroy more than we ever bargained for.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Thursday, 12 November 2020
Thoughts and Actions
There is a big difference in wanting
privacy and secrecy. Very often, I find that people use these as synonyms. But
to me, the former is a genuine right and the latter a need for people who are
hiding things from others from themselves, too.
When you see people hiding things, whether
their personal life or anything else, it is because they know they are not
doing the right thing. They are generally also in denial, or defiant and show a
“don’t care” attitude because they are hiding from themselves. Not
acknowledging the actual truth to them.
If truth be told, we would not find
ourselves hiding or lying unless we knew what we were indulging in is wrong.
And we can always argue about what is wrong and what is right, but we know,
don’t we? That’s why we hide it in our dark spaces where we hope, no one will
look. But we can. Only, Living with us is not strength with people generally.
We get preoccupied with focusing on the lives of others only because we feel
good only by pointing at the negatives of others.
It is quite amazing how life starts to sparkle if we can just give up thoughts and actions which will, we know for a fact, chase our peace and happiness away. But if we didn’t create some problems for ourselves, how would we go through life day after day, right? Why be simple when we love being complicated food for thought for those who learnt to simplify life and lead a decently honest existence.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Wednesday, 11 November 2020
Monday, 9 November 2020
Friday, 6 November 2020
Acquiring power
The tragedy of acquiring power is that you begin to think you are invincible. And that is the biggest mistake you make. Because you invariably start to turn the wheel in your favor, oblivious to the fact that there is an unseen force that works behind the scenes to stage your downfall if you disregard the principles of living. I used to think there were choices we all have. But I now realize that we have no choice but to be good humans, above and despite everything else, and to be more than good if we are in high places.
Yes, it is difficult to be good. But who
said life was easy? We have to conquer ourselves, after all. It is no mean task
and not a second to waste. A tall man has to bend to go through a door. A man
in high places needs to bend his head in a similar manner to get through to
people and connect.
Goodness is also relative. If you spend
lavishly for a personal reason and do a little charity, that goodness is not recognized
in comparison to a poor person who gives away his food to someone needier.
So, let us not hide behind goodness as a
facade because someone up their watches.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Thursday, 5 November 2020
Monday, 2 November 2020
Friday, 30 October 2020
Uniqueness
Religions are manmade. Every apostle left the earth alone and people around him organized themselves around his teachings and it became a religion. For example, Buddha only said, “become a Buddha”. But his followers started a religion. The good thing was that there was an attempt to follow the teachings because not one of them ever preached anything separatist or conflict driven. They spoke about how to lead a spiritual life and connect with Creation and the soul.
What happened was that man, in his frailty,
started to imagine his religion to be the only right one. And the rest is
history. There has never been peace because there has never been either
tolerance or acceptance between human beings.
It is worth thinking about why we feel we
have to reject people who are different. People who are not like us, people who
don’t think, walk, talk or look like us. It has to be an aberration. That we
can go to the extent of even exterminating these people. How badly threatened
we must feel, right?
Actually, we are so unable to extend our
vision to encompass and appreciate the uniqueness of others. We feel small,
irrelevant. And we don’t like that feeling. And we lack courage to become
better. So, we feel it is easier to remove / destroy what makes us
uncomfortable.
Always worth remembering that it is a lack within us that presents an illusion of a lack within others it is the resonance that makes this real. If you elevate yourself from that space, you are through.
So, keep your religion and all other
identities within yourself and only for you. And allow others to do the same.
Why is it so difficult?
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Wednesday, 28 October 2020
Tuesday, 27 October 2020
Aspects of people
When you get into the habit of being
stressed due to the way people behave with you, you are in trouble and out of
your mind control. I know most people get affected by the negative aspects of
people they love or are attached to. That is “normal”. But what we don’t
decipher in our hurt is that we have a choice: to hurt or not hurt. If we are
wholesome, hurt is not even an option. It is too trivial. But if we are
fractured by our reactions and our needs, then we need repair big time. We MUST
cure this at the earliest.
I realize that when people are grappling
with a certain discomfort in their own skin, they get mercurial. And they tend
to unleash their anger about not feeling so good about themselves, on others.
So, it is not necessary to retort at all. It is really not about you at all.
Once you understand this, it become easier to be calm around such people.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Thursday, 22 October 2020
Tuesday, 20 October 2020
Aware of the futility
Have you ever tried to take any thought to
its extreme point? You will notice that it comes to naught because, beyond a
point, nothing really matters. The mind, as long as it is engaged in emotions,
will lead you from pillar to post, link unconnected thoughts unnecessarily and
make you crazy ...unless you learn to contain it. But this starts happening when,
through experience; you have discovered this to be a fact. That really, nothing
really matters after its extremity has been reached.
You see evidence of this in people who weep
uncontrollably and then, suddenly start laughing.
The lesson here is to always be aware of
the futility of some thoughts over others and to know that beyond the mind, all
is on ground zero.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Sunday, 18 October 2020
Fragile life
I have learnt that when someone reaches out to you, do always respond. Because you never know! It could be the most important meeting of your life. Or, it could be your last with that person.
Do we ever focus on how fragile life can be?
We are so confident that each time we go to sleep; we are going to wake up the
next morning. For many, that morning never came.
Sadly, I see so many egos at work a lot of
blame too. I see couples whose destinies were not to be together, keeping
grouses for life. I see families growing up amicably enough but later,
conflicting on emotional and material issues. We never learn to say, “God knows
better”.
Where does all the love go? Because there
was a time we DID love. How does it turn to hate? Dislike? They say every
action has an equal and opposite reaction. That the more you loved, the more you
hate now.
Not at all! What turned to hate were the
expectations that were never met. If you profess to love, that love should
never be quantified. Love with expectations is not love. You really don’t know
what karma has in store for you. Whatever it may be, the love you hold in your
heart makes it easier to go through life. It is an enormous strength even if
your loved ones are far away.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Thursday, 15 October 2020
Understanding
Sometimes, life gives you a rap on your
knuckles. Many a time, our impatience with people leads to complete intolerance
and you just go away from that to look for new people. Another chance to
breathe, you tell yourself.
And then comes the funny bit! When you find
that the earlier people were angels compared to the new ones in your life.
There is always a plus and a minus.
Moral of the story: there will always be
someone better and someone worse than us, if our expectations of them are
unrealistic and not based on a proper understanding.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Monday, 12 October 2020
Parental expectations
Let a child be a child. Parental
expectations from a child are often very unrealistic. Parents know it is their
responsibility to bring up a wholesome individual. Only, they don’t always get
it right.
Let us not get too critical of parents
though, because ultimately, they will only act according to their circumstances
and what they know to be the best decision at that moment. But, what we don’t
ponder on is what our peers have claimed, that “buddhi karmanusarini”, that is,
your karma determines your intellect.
Every child develops a perspective and that
may shape future relationships. For example, two middle class parents working
to make ends meet to make a comfortable life for their child might end up with
a child who grows up with a minus mother, minus father image and perspective
merely because the parents were not physically present because they were at
work no one’s fault. Yet, there arises conflict, disappointments, resentments
and all of that.
In life, perhaps, we just need to
understand each other as much as possible and even beyond. Because, Can anyone
live anyone’s journey? Can anyone judge anyone’s journey? Then what is left is
love and understanding. This energy can only spread cheer and good will.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Friday, 9 October 2020
Harmony
Every word that we speak has energy. It is therefore,
wise to measure our words. I am sure everyone has heard that spoken words have
a way of manifesting because, often, the intensity of emotions accompanies
them. If you WILL something with intensity, it does happen.
We have stories of sages cursing and those
curses coming true. That was word power accompanied by intention.
Harmony in speech takes the conflict out of
words and creates a positive environment, and amicable relationships.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Thursday, 8 October 2020
Wednesday, 7 October 2020
Humanity
Humanity generally swings between love and
loss. Love is the spiritual energy and loss the result of fear, the other
energy but the darker of the two.
Imagine if there WAS nothing to lose? This realization
is the ultimate in all realizations. You lose only what you have, right? But if
you realize that you don’t own anything or anyone then?
Everything is flowing by and to observe
this with love for the Creator is actually to love oneself, to know oneself,
being an integral part of the Creator. Just like a drop cannot claim
independence from a body of water. The drop is a small part of a whole, which
we know as Divine Energy. And everything is sacred and whole within it.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
SpeakingtreeBlog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
Tuesday, 6 October 2020
Thursday, 1 October 2020
Adaptation
Living in denial is really detrimental.
Whether it is the Congress that lives in denial of the obsoleteness of dynastic
rule or it is you and me who don’t accept facts of our lives.
You know, to keep accepting changes gets
exhausting and that is when one goes into the denial mode. The fact of life is
that equations change, people change, some outlive their uses, others move on...
and to cope with many and often, rapid changes requires energy, courage and
persistence of adaptation to changes.
We don’t do even ten percent work on ourselves,
accumulating polluted energy in the bargain.
Surekha Kothari
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari
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